Broken Feather

by Jeanie P Johnson

  “What do you have to say for yourself, Vanessa?” Jason asked as he came up to the wagon, offering her his hand.”

  Vanessa folded her arms over her chest and glared at him. “If you think I am just going to come simpering back because you demand it, you have another think coming,” she half hissed. “Your disregard for me last night was appalling. I resented the way you felt you could just use me like I was some loose fancy woman coming to be at your service. As your wife, I deserve more respect than that, so if you wish me to stay here willingly, I have a few demands of my own.”

  Jason drew his brows together, and then gave her a half-smile. “And just what are these demands?” he replied.

  “I realize you wish to have an heir, and since that is a wife’s duty, I know I must comply. However, it will be on my terms. I refuse to share a room with you, but once a month, I will invite you to my room where you can carry on with your disgusting method of trying to impregnate me. I feel you have no real feeling for me, other than supplying you with an heir, so why pretend otherwise?”

  Now Jason had a scowl on his face as he narrowed his eyes at her. “You cannot order me around like…”

  “Order you around?” Vanessa broke in. “You are lucky I have consented to return at all! If you have any complaints concerning this arrangement, then I will promptly have Broken Feather turn this wagon around and take me away from you and your ranch.”

  “You are my wife. You are obligated to stay.”

  “Then you will have to tie me up to force me to do it, and I can assure you, it won’t last long, because if I don’t find a way to escape, I will just have to resort to killing myself!”

  “You are being overly dramatic,” Jason scolded.

  “Do you want to take that chance?” she asked. “It is up to you, Jason. You showed me how unfeeling a person you are, when it comes to handling a woman. You don’t deserve to even have a wife, so it is my way, or no way at all! I can only suffer the thought of your hands on me as little as possible. You are lucky I have agreed to comply that much!”

  “I am beginning to regret I ever took your father up on his offer,” Jason grumbled.

  “Not half as much as I regret it,” Vanessa hissed.

  “Since I seem to have no other choice, I will have to concede to your wishes. However, if you don’t manage to conceive a child in the next six months, the arrangements will have to be altered, until you do conceive.”

  “And the moment I do conceive, you will no longer touch me, is that understood?” Vanessa added.

  “For now, I suppose so. I only hope you begin to change your opinion of me. I admit I made a mistake by frightening you the first time I touched you. I will work at being more considerate in the future.”

  “That is at least something to hope for,” Vanessa mumbled.

  “Then, in that case, let me help you down from there. I’m afraid the Indians went through your trunks. I don’t know how well the boys repacked them, though.”

  “Never mind, just have them put in one of the guest rooms for me,” she told him as she allowed him to help her down. “I understand you have hired Broken Feather.”

  “Yes, he seems to be an asset to the ranch, considering he saved all of our lives,” Jason smiled.

  “My father will miss him. He told me Broken Feather was the best scout he had.”

  “Apparently the army has not appreciated his services enough, seeing as how they have not kept their promise to the Black Seminole Indians after recruiting them to become scouts on that promise.”

  “I agree, so I hope you show your appreciation to him when he starts working for you.”

  “I plan to. I believe he is a good man. He didn’t have to come back here and get rid of the Comanche for us, and he didn’t have to go looking for you either, but he did. I appreciate both efforts, which is another reason I have decided to hire him on. When we drive the herd to the stockyards, he can help us keep the Comanche from attacking the herd, if they end up trying to steal any cattle.”

  “Then I suppose it is a good situation all the way around,” Vanessa said. She made a point of passing close to Broken Feather, as Jason started guiding her to the house. As she passed, she reached out and touched his hand. “I hope you enjoy working here,” she said, smiling and gazing into Broken Feather’s eyes, longer than she should have.

  “I am looking forward to it. I will be sending your father a detailed explanation of why I am requesting to be released from the army, and the fact that I choose to remain and work here and, while I am about it, make sure his daughter remains safe, now that she is married.”

  “I appreciate your kindness,” she smiled. “We will probably have the opportunity to get to know each other better, now that you will be working here. I can never thank you enough for all the care you have given me on our way out here.”

  “I will always be at your service, when your husband is not at your side, tending to your comfort and safety.” He glanced up at Jason. “I hope there will be no future reason to be hunting your wife down,” he said, stabbing Jason with his glare.

  “I have learned a good lesson here,” Jason replied. “I assure you I will handle my wife gently from here on in.”

  “Then, hopefully, everyone will be content,” Broken Feather said. Then he turned to take the wagon and horses to the barn to tend to them.

  Vanessa followed Jason into the house, which had been turned upside-down when the Comanche went through it taking what they pleased.

  “I fear the place is in a lot of disorder,” Jason mumbled, “but it will be set right soon enough.” He turned and looked into Vanessa’s eyes. “I am truly sorry if I frightened you. I was being a little brash, in my expectations. Like you, I am new to this. The only women I have ever been with were women of the night, and they get down to business when accommodating a man. I thought all women wanted to just get to the matter of the act. On top of that, you are so beautiful I wanted more of you. I hope you will forgive me and accept my apology.”

  Vanessa gave him a sideways glance. “I will try to be understanding, yet I do not see any true feelings between us. You seem more caught up in your ranch than worrying about making your new wife feel cherished.”

  “How can I cherish someone I have barely met?” he asked.

  “It is the principle of the matter, considering I am the only wife you may ever have. Why not cherish me on that knowledge alone?”

  “I’m just a cowboy, who is rough around the edges. I come from a family of boys. I have had no real experience with women because I have been too busy carving out a life for myself in country rougher than I am. Perhaps you will have to school me in the finer ways of treating a lady,” he smiled encouragingly.

  “We will see what kind of student you make,” she laughed, “However, I am tired, and I still have all my clothes to put away,” she sighed.

  “The housekeeper could help you,” he offered.

  “No, I need to go through everything and see if the Indians caused any damage, or took any of my belongings.”

  “If they did, it would be in one of the bags they packed on the horses. I will have the boys keep an eye out for anything frilly, when they go through them,” he promised.

  “That is thoughtful of you.”

  “Once things have settled down a bit, I will have MacGregor, my cook, send something up for you to eat.”

  “Thank you. I have eaten very little today. I must tell you, Broken Feather had to do a good amount of talking to get me to return. I would have left straight back to Louisiana, otherwise.”

  “Then I am glad he has decided to work for me. He can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t take off again.”

  “He seems to be a nice person. He looked out for me on the way out here, as I told you. I would trust him with my life.”

  “Then I will not worry when you are in his company,” Jason smiled. “He seems to be a good fellow to have around.”

  “I quite agree,” Vanessa murmured,
feeling a little guilty, yet not so guilty that she didn’t want to be in Broken Feather’s arms again.

  Vanessa headed for the stairs, as Jason watcher her believing she may turn out to be a better wife than he expected. He would just have to tread lightly, when it came to Vanessa, he decided.

  Vanessa gazed down at the jumble of clothes that had been crammed back into her trunks after the Indians had fumbled through them. She let out an exasperated sigh, pushed the curls of her long hair out of her eyes, which she had neglected to do anything with since she fled from the ranch, and began pulling things out of her trunk.

  “They have probably spoiled everything,” she fumed as she started taking articles out of the trunk and inspecting them.

  The room she had been put in was pleasant enough and she saw that it was right next door to Jason’s room, for easy access, she thought. She noticed there was even an adjoining door between the two rooms. Either this had been designed as a mistress’ room, or built during a period when wives and husbands had their own separate rooms, she decided. She tried the door and saw it was locked. Since there was no key in the door, she assumed that Jason most likely had the key, if the housekeeper didn’t keep it with all the other keys to the house. This worried her, yet she knew that if Jason did not keep his part of the bargain, she would have good reason to leave.

  The thought pained her, though. There was no place for her to go, unless Jason kicked her out. Then she would certainly return to Louisiana and take Broken Feather with her. However, she doubted Jason would ever insist she leave. He wanted a wife and heirs, and it was her job to comply, if she wanted a roof over her head. She would just have to make the best of it, she thought, thinking up ways she could find to be with Broken Feather alone. The memory of their time together in the tent before they headed back was still fresh on her mind. She couldn’t deny she was looking forward to more moments like that with Broken Feather.

  She should be ashamed of herself for thinking such thoughts, she told herself, yet she could not find one tender feeling in her heart for Jason to make her feel ashamed of herself. This marriage was just one of convenience and not born out of love. What she had with Broken Feather, pulled together all her past feelings she had had for Zack and the frustration of keeping her heart from getting entangled with any future slave. It gave her the freedom to let her emotions escape in a way she never thought she would allow it. And now she couldn’t get Broken Feather out of her thoughts.

  She had managed to put the majority of her belongings away in the clothes press and bureau drawers when there was a tap on her door, and the housekeeper put her head in.

  “I brought you something to eat,” she said cheerfully. “I am Mags. I don’t think we were formerly introduced,” she smiled.

  “Thank you, Mags,” Vanessa murmured.

  “You should light the lamps,” Mags told her. “It is starting to get dark in here.”

  “I was thinking about it, but also I was just thinking about going to bed. I am fairly worn out.”

  “I can help you get undressed, if you wish. There was a time in my life when I was a ladies maid, before my husband and I came here from England.”

  “That is very thoughtful of you,” Vanessa said. “I haven’t had a personal maid for a very long time, now.”

  “It is no bother. Jason is not accustomed to having women in the house, me being the only one. He needs to take special care of you and make you feel like the lady that you are.”

  She put the tray down on the nightstand and started lighting the lamps. “I’ll help you get dressed for bed, and then after you eat, you can go straight to bed,” she suggested. “It’s not much, just soup and bread, seeing as how those heathens tried to take most of the food stuff, and it is all having to be put back in place again.”

  “Well I appreciate whatever you have to offer me,” Vanessa mumbled.

  Mags came and started undoing the buttons on Vanessa’s dress, after she had laid out a nightgown for Vanessa, which had been sitting on top of one of the empty trunks, because Vanessa was thinking of getting ready for bed and had flung it there.

  “I will take your clothes down to the washroom,” Mags offered. “If there is anything else here, you wish me to have washed, just let me know.”

  “There is a pile in that corner,” Vanessa pointed to where she had thrown the dress she had changed out of before they got to the ranch.

  Mags put the nightgown over Vanessa’s head, and then went to collect the soiled clothes, and left the room. Vanessa sank down on the bed, put the tray in her lap and started to eat the soup, feeling at odds about everything that had transpired since she arrived. When she was finished, she placed the tray, back on the dressing table and was getting ready to blow out the lamps when there was another knock on the door.

  “Come in,” Vanessa called, as she sat on the edge of the bed, watching the door open slowly.

  Jason stood, his arms filled with an assortment of material, which Vanessa recognized as some of her clothes, the Indians had apparently taken a liking to. He stepped into the room and smiled.

  “I thought I would bring these up to you,” he told her.

  “That was thoughtful of you,” she mumbled, realizing she was only clad in her nightgown. However, he had seen her in less, so she tried to relax.

  Jason walked across the room and dumped his load in one of the open trunks she had not finished emptying yet.

  “I hope they did not cause too much damage to your belongings,” Jason said, coming and standing in front of Vanessa. “Do you approve of the room?”

  “It is rather nice,” she shrugged. “I didn’t realize there was a connecting door between this room and yours, though.”

  “It has always been locked for as long as I can remember,” he told her. I don’t even know if it has a key.”

  “How did you get out of your room?” Vanessa suddenly asked. “I took the key with me.”

  “That was very naughty of you,” Jason said, sitting down on the bed beside her. “Mags has a skeleton key that fits all the doors,” he explained.

  “So she would have a key to the door between our rooms, then.”

  “In a sense, however, you have made yourself clear about me having little permission in your room unless I am invited,” he said, pinning her with a pointed stare.

  “So far, you have not lent yourself to deserving such privileges,” she murmured, turning and looking at him. “We barely met or talked before you decided to take your right as a husband. It was very unfeeling of you!”

  “I realize that now, and I hope to make amends. However, it has dawned on me that I have not even kissed my new bride. You turned your head when I attempted to, and I didn’t think you would enjoy me kissing you during our coupling, so I didn’t try. So now, I will humbly ask your permission for a kiss, if you will be so kind to permit it of me.”

  Vanessa lifted her gaze from her lap and looked at his face, and then his lips that were smiling sweetly at her at the moment. She noticed again how handsome he looked, which had been overshadowed by his actions to her earlier. She supposed it was only right to allow him to kiss her, seeing as how she was his wife, so she slowly nodded.

  “If you wish,” she said softly.

  “I do wish,” he whispered, leaning towards her and placing his mouth over hers.

  At first it was a mere soft kiss, which Vanessa felt was fitting of him showing a little tenderness towards her. He lifted his mouth briefly. “You have a very sweet kiss,” he murmured against her lips, and then pressed his mouth to hers again, lingering longer than he had with the first kiss.

  He was being so gentle and considerate, that Vanessa was taken a little off guard, discovering that she actually liked the way he was kissing her. She hadn’t intended to kiss him back, but she felt her mouth parting, somehow welcoming his kiss, deciding to forgive him for his earlier treatment of her, since he was trying to show her kindness now.

  When Jason felt her respond to his kiss, h
e found his arms surrounding her, holding her against him as his kiss progressed with more feeling, liking the way her lips felt beneath his own.

  Vanessa could feel her heart starting to beat faster, as the kiss overtook her in a way she hadn’t expected. She should push him away, she thought, wanting to force him to keep his word about touching her, yet at the same time, she told herself, he was her husband, and he had done more than just this with her. She couldn’t play the chaste wife. He wanted to make amends, and maybe this was the way he chose to do it, she decided. She should at least give him a chance to show her the gentleness he had promised her, she relented.

  Vanessa wasn’t sure when her own arms reached up and entangled them around his neck during the kiss. She just knew that her breath was coming faster as the kiss progressed, and he was being so kind and gentle, it was bringing out a softer side of her. She felt him lowering her to the bed, without breaking the kiss, and she didn’t resist.

  “Please forgive me for last night,” Jason breathed into her neck, and then his lips were caressing the side of her neck, which caused Vanessa to take a sudden breath at the feel of his day old whiskers tickling her neck and sending chills over her skin.

  “Like you said, you knew little about how to handle a new wife,” she responded. “I think you are beginning to learn, though.”

  “Am I pleasing you?” he asked softly.

  “I can tell you are trying to,” she replied.

  “Then allow me to continue to try and mend my ways,” he begged, as his lips started to wander down her neck to the opening of the top of her nightgown that he started to unbutton.

  Vanessa did not answer because she was trying to control the emotions that were starting to surge through her at the feel of his lips on her skin, and the way his hands were gently touching her, his fingers brushing against her skin, as he pushed the top of her nightgown open, allowing his mouth access to her.

  Once he found that access, Vanessa gasped with the feel of his mouth on her, and she found herself relenting completely, actually wanting to feel his hands and mouth on her, when before she had detested it.