She thought of how she had hated Broken Feather in the beginning and then grew to know him better. It seemed, now the same thing was happening with Jason, and it was making her all the more confused. She knew she loved Broken Feather, but this was her husband, and if she was to furnish him an heir, she might as well enjoy the process, she told herself. The sooner the better, maybe, and then she could insist he no longer touch her. She may not love him, but she was starting to like him, just a little, she realized, as she let out her breath, and responded to his caresses, with a small murmur. The thought of him no longer touching her, started to weaken.
Jason discovered a greater reward in seducing Vanessa than just taking her because he could. It not only heightened his own desires, but he found that Vanessa was responding to him in the way he had dreamed she would respond. Now he was starting to understand the finer side of a woman, and was determined to make her want him as much as he now wanted her. If it took all night to remove all her defenses and get her to confess her need of him, he was willing to take that time.
Jason had already had his fill of her the night before, so now he wanted her to have her fill of him, instead, for as long as she desired. He would make sure she continued to crave for more.
Vanessa felt her body responding to the touch of Jason in a way it had never tried to the night before. His caresses grew more passionate and she realized she was no longer wearing her nightgown. Her hands traced over his chest, as he hovered over her, and she discovered he too was no longer wearing his clothes. She pushed the thought aside, as a new wave of pleasure started to wash over her, having allowed Jason to bring her desires to the surface, little by little. And then it seemed that those desires were running away with her, craving his very nearness. She wanted to feel his skin against her own, crushing her softness beneath his hard, muscular body that was toned from the hard work he did daily.
She found her fingers tracing those muscles, enjoying the feel of them beneath her fingers and palms. It caused him to catch his breath, and she liked it that her touch had that kind of effect on him, which made her explore the feel of him even more. Now it seemed she was seducing him in a way she hadn’t expected to do, wanting to learn more of what made him start to shiver at her touch. He turned onto his back to give her whatever access she desired.
Vanessa had never blown out the lamps and the light from them still wavered in the room, casting a soft glow over both of them. She thought of how Jason had paraded in front of her the night before and how it had embarrassed her, yet now, she felt her eyes drawn to him, intrigued by the way his muscles were shaped, and how the touch of her fingers against him, caused him to draw in his breath, and then give a soft groan as she let her hand smooth over him, daring to be braver than she had even been with Broken Feather.
She had allowed Broken Feather to please her in whichever way he wished, yet now, she was discovering another side of pleasure she hadn’t thought about before. Actually touching a man in such a way, that it was like a power she had over him. She liked that feeling of power. She liked the fact that Jason wanted her to touch him as much as he liked touching her. She had never thought about it before. Now she was eager to take advantage of it, and he seemed to be just as eager as she was.
Discovering another side of Jason caused Vanessa to question her own need and desires. How could she enjoy this interaction with Jason, when she knew her heart had been captured by Broken Feather? She had been looking forward to sharing times like this with Broken Feather whenever they managed to be alone with each other. Yet here was a man who wanted to be with her as often as she desired, which in the beginning, would have been as little as possible. Now she had to admit, even though she did not feel that she loved Jason, she did enjoy what they were sharing. It made her future look a little more promising. At least, she did not hate Jason, the way she felt she had. She realized he was starting to win her over.
Before she had any more time to try and untangle her confused thoughts, she felt Jason pulling her down on top of him, knowing that his need for her had grown to a peak, yet he was letting her make the decision, and she made it, without thinking, or even arguing with herself. She let him have his wish, while she remained in control of how the dance would progress, leading in a way she didn’t know she could do. Liking it that she could slow down, right when Jason craved to move faster, prolonging the ending until she was desirous of it. Hearing the disappointed sigh, as Jason waited for her to pick up the pace again, and then hearing him laugh as she gave him his way, until they were both completely satisfied with the outcome.
As Vanessa relax in Jason’s arms, she realized she had submitted to him in such a way that she could never back out of, while still clinging to the love she felt for Broken Feather. In a way, she felt she was betraying Broken Feather, even though he knew that she had to submit to her husband, and that Jason had told Broken Feather he would start to treat her more gently. She had already betrayed Jason by making love to Broken Feather, and she knew she planned to betray him in the future as well. How could she want two men in this way, she wondered? One she knew she loved, and the other she was using for her own pleasure. Perhaps she was wicked and in the end, she would be punished.
For now, she decided to try and deal with her own confusion, allowing Jason to continue to prove himself to her, while hoping for the next chance she would have to be with Broken Feather.
CHAPTER SIX
Vanessa woke, feeling warm and contented with someone’s arms around her. At first, she thought she was in Broken Feather’s arms, and turned to kiss him, stopping short when she realized it was Jason who was holding her so tenderly. He had anticipated the kiss, and she felt his mouth close over hers, and then the memories started flooding back from the night before. It had been filled with an exchange that kept expanding with each new encounter, and now she had no recourse to refuse him in her bed. He knew she had enjoyed the exchange, and there was no way to lie to him.
Vanessa looked seriously at Jason as the kiss ended. She asked herself if she truly had any deep feeling for him, searching her heart for some sort of sign. She didn’t hate him, she knew that. However, there was still something missing. He was being kind, but being with him did not fulfill her in the same way being with Broken Feather did.
She and Broken Feather had a kind of bond that overshadowed any connection that she and Jason may have gained. To her, Broken Feather was exciting. Jason was just a cowboy, going about the business of running a ranch. Broken Feather risked his life to save others. Perhaps the very danger of being discovered was another element that drew her closer to Broken Feather. Maybe her rebellious nature was taking over more than it should.
She just wondered if her sharing this with Jason would cause a bond to grow between them. She didn’t know if she wanted it to or not. And yet, she was married to him, and there was no way she could change that, no matter how much she believed she loved Broken Feather.
“You seem a little confused,” Jason murmured, as she pulled away, when he tried to kiss her again. “I thought you enjoyed what we were doing last night, much more than your first experience, I am sure.”
“You were very gentle and did try to erase those earlier memories I had of you,” she admitted. “I know you are doing it to make sure I welcome you in my bed, though. If it is an heir you are worried about…”
Jason put his hand over Vanessa’s mouth. “I know you think this is all about you having my heir, but it is more than that, Vanessa. You are an intriguing woman. Your boldness pleases me. Even your fiery temper amuses me. I know I got off on the wrong foot with you, but I am trying to change that.”
“It is going to take time,” Vanessa mumbled. “You took me unawares last night. My body responded to everything you attempted, but it was just my body, Jason. I don’t even know you as a man.”
“However, I am your husband. Eventually you will get to know me as a man. Until then, don’t ruin what we shared last night.”
“Just give
me time. I need to straighten out my own thoughts. So much has happened since I left Louisiana, I have barely been able to take a slow breath. Until I feel more sure about this, my earlier wishes must be honored, if you truly want to gain my entire trust.”
Jason’s face fell, but she was probably right. How could he expect her to fall in love with him, when they had merely known each other for barely two days? They had the rest of their lives to try and work things out, he decided. He was just being impatient, the same way he was on their wedding night. She had shown him a side of herself he wanted to explore more, but he would have to bide his time until she was ready to give herself to him without any reservations.
“Very well, I am not upset. You are right. We just met, and I should accept the fact that things will have to move slowly before we can gain each other’s complete trust.”
Vanessa looked away. How could he ever learn to trust her, when she knew full well that she would be going to Broken Feather every opportunity she got? Only she was stuck in this marriage and so was he. It was all her father’s fault, she blamed.
Jason got out of bed and started getting dressed. “Take your time, Vanessa. I will give you a little reprieve, while you try to straighten out your thoughts and get used to the idea of being my wife. I put too much store on believing just because your father offered you to be my wife that you wished for the same thing. I can see he did it out of concern for your welfare, rather than satisfying your heart.
“The boys and I are going to pick up some cattle we bought from a neighboring ranch. I had intended to put it off some, since I was expecting you, and wanted us to get acquainted. Only now, I believe you need a little space to settle in. I will be gone for about three days. By the time I return, I hope you will be feeling better about the situation.”
Vanessa shrugged, while he heart leapt. It meant she would have three days to spend with Broken Feather, before she had to return to being a dutiful wife again, she thought. Jason didn’t even know what a favor he was doing for her. She just had to be careful that MacGregor and Mags did not suspect their relationship.
Vanessa rose from the bed, and kissed Jason softly on the cheek. “Thank you for trying so hard to be kind to me,” she said.
“Does it look like I am trying hard?” he asked. “I thought I was doing it naturally.”
“I suppose that came out wrong,” she shrugged, “but you have been kind, so thank you.”
“I’ll be looking forward to seeing you again,” he mumbled, and then left the room.
Vanessa watched from her window, as Jason and three of his ranch hands rode away. Two had been left behind to take care of the ranch chores, along with Broken Feather, who was getting ready to get acquainted with the horses at the ranch to see which ones needed working more, and which ones needed training.
Vanessa got dressed, and then finished putting her clothes away. When she went downstairs, Mags told her they had kept her breakfast warm for her, so she went into the dining room and ate what had been fixed for her. Then she wandered out to watch Broken Feather working with the horses.
It was a warm day, and Broken Feather was shirtless, wearing some denims that had been given to him, she supposed. She had always seen him dressed in his buckskins and breechcloth.
“You look hot,” Vanessa said when he turned to see her leaning against the fence, watching him.
“You look beautiful,” he called over his shoulder at her. “How have you been getting along with Jason?”
“He and the boys have left to get some cattle they bought,” she told him.
“I know. He said for me to keep an eye on you while he was gone. He seemed to be in a pretty good mood, though.”
“Yes, I think we were able to mend our differences. He is treating me more kindly now.”
“Good.” He gave her a long look. “I feel jealous that he has you there with him, and will be able to foist an heir upon you, while I have to keep my distance.”
“We have three days, Broken Feather. Wouldn’t you like to take a break and go to the river to cool off?” she asked.
Broken Feather walked over to the fence to face her. “What are you saying?” he asked.
“Jason told you too keep an eye on me, and I want to go to the river to cool off. The least you can do is accompany me,” she smiled.
Broken Feather looked around as though he feared someone was watching them. “You sure that is acceptable?”
“Why not, I’ll let Mags know you are taking me, so no one will think we are doing it behind anyone’s back.”
“I’ll get us a couple of horses ready,” he said, as she turned to go to the house.
When she came back, Broken Feather was standing with two horses saddled and waiting. He helped Vanessa up, and admired how her long skirt billowed around her and over the horse’s rump. Then he swung up on his own horse and they rode off in the direction of the river.
“What are we going to do, Vanessa? I don’t like that we have to sneak around to be with each other,” Broken Feather complained.
“No more than I do, Broken Feather. Only there is no other way to do it. I am a married woman, and you are a black Indian, what else do you suggest? Don’t tell me to come to Mexico with you, either. Jason is being kinder to me, but my feelings for you overshadow that. If this is the only way we can be together, then we will just have to make do,” she insisted.
They had reached the river, and Broken Feather helped Vanessa down from her horse. As soon as she was on the ground, she started removing her dress.
“What are you doing?” Broken Feather asked with a smile.
“I intend to go swimming,” she laughed. “I don’t know about you, but if you expect to keep a close eye on me, you should probably join me so I don’t drown.”
“Is that so?” Broken Feather chuckled as she started removing his boots.
By the time he had them off, Vanessa ran towards him, barreling into him and pushing him into the water, wearing only her pantaloons and chemise. The moment they hit the water, her clothes turned transparent and clung to her body in an enticing way that made Broken Feather’s heart skip.
“Goodness, you didn’t bother to take your denims off,” she laughed. “Maybe I should help you with them,” she said, starting to work the top buttons open.
“You have become rather brazen,” Broken Feather laughed, helping her with his buttons.
“We only have three days,” she smiled, as he pushed the wet slacks from his body and tossed them up on the bank.
“You know part of that time I have to be working, or someone will suspect that…”
“Then stop wasting time,” she encouraged, as she flung her arms around his neck.
“You have a might too many clothes on yourself,” he told her, as he pulled her pantaloons from her body, and then lifted her up, warping her legs around his waist as he walked out into deeper water, with her clinging to him.
She felt him meet her as she slid lower and once they made contact, the rest became natural. Her body welcomed him, as he held her snugly to him, moving with a rhythm that created a ripple of waved to circle around them. As they were overcome with the need to fly away into oblivion, they found their reward, and Vanessa clung more tightly to Broken Feather, hugging him with her legs and arms, letting her breath out in delight, and then purring in his ear, as she licked the water from his neck.
Then they were stumbling to shore, and Broken Feather laid her in the soft, green grass, admiring the look of her and eager to continue enjoying their time together. Slowly he began to worship her body, with every caress his lips and hands could bestow, bringing Vanessa into his own world of pleasure and surprise. He continued showing her the focused attention she deserved, delighting in her response and the sound of her whimpers when he managed to please her, and her panting begging for him to never stop.
When he did stop, Vanessa surprised him by pushing him back onto the grass, giving him the same focused attention he had given her, causing h
im to beg her never to stop.
“You know I love you, Broken Feather,” she murmured against his skin. “However, I am expected to submit to Jason to give him an heir. Once that is accomplished, my commitment to submit to him can come to an end. Just don’t be upset at the amount of time I must spend with him. Know I am thinking of you always.”
“And then what, Vanessa, then you and he will have a child you must raise. You don’t expect to leave your child do you? What will ever happen to the two of us and the love we feel for each other? It will never end. You will be stuck here raising your child together while I watch on. And what if he wants more than one child? Coming here to work was a terrible plan. I should go back to Mexico, and get out of both of your hair. Jason is a decent man, and he doesn’t deserve this. I don’t deserve this!”
“No…no, don’t do that, Broken Feather.” She clutched him around the neck and started kissing his lips. “What Jason and I do together is only physical. It is something that is necessary, but when I am with you, I feel complete.”
“I can’t be your lackey boy forever, Vanessa. What if you end up having my child instead of Jason’s?”
Vanessa stilled. He was right. What would Jason do if she ended up having Broken Feather’s child? She started to shiver.
“I should never have married him. I wish I had stayed in Louisiana,” she cried.
“But you did marry him, and maybe it would be better if we did not share each other’s bodies again, until after you fulfill your obligation of bringing forth an heir. We’ve only shared one another a couple of times, maybe it didn’t take. Pray that when the time comes to birth your child, it belongs to you and Jason. If not, I believe all hell will break loose!”
“Alright, alright, but you have to promise not to leave. I need you here, Broken Feather.”
“I suppose we can still kiss if you wish,” he murmured, with a smile, and pushed her down and began kissing her, eventually straying from her face and traveling over her body.
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