by Unknown
“In my day, we could down fifteen tankards of ale and still catch the chickens the next morning,” she said as she wiped her hands on her apron. I didn’t ask.
Selina came in to the kitchen, her hair standing on end, and her eye liner streaked across her face. I popped two painkillers out of their blisters then threw the pack at her. She missed it and it landed on the floor.
As I pulled cups out of the cupboards, the doorbell went and Selina sloped out to answer it. Natalia came bouncing in, fresh as a daisy, carrying a shopping bag.
“Breakfast is here!” she sang, cheerfully. I hated her a little more as I pulled another mug from the cupboard, and then a little less as she pulled out bacon, along with three large stottie cakes from Greggs the Bakers.
Agnes snatched up the bacon. “Took your bloody time,” she grumbled as she turned to the stove. I handed out the coffees then sank backwards into my chair… only to realise that Daniel was sitting beneath me. I jumped up in fright, spilling the coffee over my hand.
“For Christ’s sake!” I snapped, putting the cup on the table then going to the sink to rinse my fingers under the cold tap. “Can’t you use the bloody door like everyone else?”
Daniel laughed and proceeded to drink my coffee. He was in a surprisingly good mood today; probably enjoying the fact that we were suffering with hangovers, I thought bitterly.
“Looks like you ladies had a rough night,” he said, as he wrapped both hands around the mug and smiled at me. I turned my back and went to make another coffee, grumbling as I went.
“Blame Agnes the lush,” said Selina, popping the pills and washing them down with coffee.
“Less of your cheek young ‘un. As I recall, it was Natalia’s idea.” Agnes poured what I now realised was the makings of omelette into a frying pan and put it on the stove.
Natalia grinned as she buttered the stotties. “Yeah, well, we had to help Lauren drown her sorrows.”
Daniel averted his eyes. “The date not go so well?” he asked. I eyed him incredulously.
“You wouldn’t have anything you want to tell me, now would you Daniel?”
“Absolutely nothing to do with me!” he said, passionately. I slumped in my chair.
So it was all down to my shitty luck, then. I looked up to see him glancing at Natalia who averted her eyes. On second thought, maybe not.
The smell of sizzling bacon filled the air and my stomach rumbled.
“I thought we could all go back to mine and practice, after breakfast of course,” said Daniel, tipping his chair back on two legs but quickly righting it when he caught Agnes’ eye.
“I don’t feel up to training today,” Selina moaned, clutching her head.
Agnes busied herself at the bench then plopped down two liqueur glasses, one in front of Selina and one in front of me.
“Drink that.”
“What’s in it?” I inspected the glass doubtfully.
“Eye of newt and toad’s balls. Drink it and don’t bloody argue.” She turned back to the stove.
“I am not drinking eye of newt!” Selina screeched, turning a funny shade of green.
Daniel laughed. “It’s just milk thistle to cure your hangover, she’s pulling your leg,” he said, pushing it towards her.
I picked up the glass and downed it like a shot of tequila, slamming it back down onto the table while Selina sipped demurely at hers.
“It tastes like shit!” I scrunched up my nose.
Agnes plopped a half stottie filled with bacon and omelette in front of me. “Here, eat this, it will take the taste away.”
I happily picked it up and took a big bite, chewing slowly and savouring the taste while Agnes set plates down for the rest of them at the table. I jumped up to offer her my seat and she gratefully sat down. The next thing I knew, Daniel had grabbed me by the waist and plonked me down on his knee, his arm wrapped around me, holding me in place.
“I’m fine, I can stand!” I said as I struggled to get up. His arm was unrelenting, however, so eventually I gave up and pulled my plate toward me.
We finished our breakfast in silence and I couldn’t help but enjoy the warmth of Daniel’s body behind me, his arm still firmly around my waist. Selina gave me the eye and grinned. I rolled my eyes at her and continued eating.
As I swallowed the last bite of my sandwich, I realised my hangover seemed to be completely gone. I jumped up from Daniel’s knee and took a final drink of my coffee.
Agnes, that was delicious, thank you!” I said, kissing her atop the head. She beamed at me and I ran from the room to take a shower and change my clothes.
Selina drove us across town and Daniel followed behind on his motorbike. As we pulled up to the house, we couldn’t get onto the drive because a land-rover was parked there. I climbed out of the car as Daniel pulled in behind us, almost breaking his neck to get off the bike.
“Wait here,” he commanded. Agnes climbed out of the passenger seat, giving him a furious look, and I looked at her, puzzled.
“It seems you have visitors!” she snapped at him as he inserted his key into the lock and opened the door, disappearing inside. Curious, I decided to disobey him and followed him into the house, despite Agnes pulling at my sleeve.
Voices were coming from the living room, and I made my way in to see a beautiful, dark-haired woman lying across his sofa wearing a fur coat and nothing else. Daniel standing over her with his hands on his hips. She pulled up the coat to cover her nakedness as I ran out of the room, shocked, and waited with the others. Minutes later, the woman emerged, shamefaced, and climbed back into her car, reversing at speed and almost clipping Selina’s Peugeot on the way out. Daniel stood at the doorway, watching her leave with an angry glint in his eyes.
“Is it safe to come in now, or do you have another one hiding in the closet?” Agnes snapped as she marched up to the door, pushing him out of the way. I couldn’t even look him in the eye as I tried to sneak past him. Obviously, this was one of the ‘string of affairs’ that Agnes had accused him of. I felt curiously sick at the thought of him with another woman, and quickly admonished myself. It was no business of mine what he got up to.
He grabbed me by the arm as I passed him. “This isn’t what it looks like, Lauren.”
“It’s none of my business, Daniel. You’re a free agent, you can do what you like,” I replied, congratulating myself on my calmness. What I really wanted to do was kick him in the goolies again. He released my arm and I made my way into the living room, Selina following closely behind me. Natalia came in moments later with a grim expression on her face and I wondered what had taken her so long.
“Let’s make a coffee before we start,” she said, grabbing me by the arm and taking me to the kitchen. As we passed the open door, I saw Daniel bent over and holding onto the wall.
I looked at Natalia with dawning comprehension. She had kicked him in the nuts! The question running through my mind now, was why? For me? Or was there another reason?
“Don’t even think it!” she snapped as she dragged me into the kitchen. Oh joy, another mind-reader. I made my mind up in that moment that whatever it took, I was going to find a way to stop them all from getting in to my head.
We just finished making the coffee when Daniel decided to make his appearance. Agnes slammed a cup down in front of him and he grimaced, picking it up and taking a slug.
“So what are we doing today?” asked Selina in an attempt to break the ice.
“You should both practice the exercises we did yesterday.” said Daniel. “I’ve set up the targets so we’re ready when you are.”
I could tell he was trying to catch my eye but I was determined not to give him the satisfaction. Jolene was wearing war paint; even she was pissed off.
We finished our coffees and made our way through the living room and out through the patio doors. Daniel walked us through the energy control exercise again and we started our practice. Selina managed to strike the target first time and squealed with excitement. I
didn’t fare so well this time round, though. I guess my heart wasn’t in it.
“Concentrate Lauren, pull in to your core!” Daniel snapped at me.
I gave him a look that would have withered lesser men, then turned to the target, pulling the energy and my anger to me as the arc flew from my palms strong and true. A smoking hole burned through the centre of the target. It seemed to work better when I was angry, so I filed that away for later use. I so wanted to smite that sleazy bastard, but I controlled my temper and shot another arc at his target, scoring another direct hit.
I looked at him smugly, blew on my fingers then put my hands on my hips.
We went on to practice cloaking, which was almost as easy as breathing this time, however Selina just couldn’t quite make it.
“It’s probably never going to be one of your talents,” Daniel told her. “Don’t worry about it.” She huffed and went back in to the house as she couldn’t take part in the next exercise if she couldn’t cloak.
After cloaking, we practiced transporting from one end of the garden to the other. This time, I managed it on the first try. Daniel materialised beside me and I quickly transported to the other end. He obviously wanted to talk, but there was really nothing I wanted to hear from him. Each time he appeared beside me, I transported myself away, until eventually, I transported to find him there before me. He grabbed me by the arms.
“Desino!” he said. And once again, I found myself frozen in place.
“Whether you like it or not, you are going to listen to what I have to say. That woman and I were intimate a long, long time ago, Lauren. We broke up when I found out she was married, a fact she didn’t avail me of at the time. I haven’t seen her in over a year, and she came back now because she and her husband have split up. She thought we could take up where we left off. We can’t,” he said, his face inches from mine.
I willed myself free of his spell with surprising ease. The power transfer had certainly helped.
“As I said Daniel,” I spat at him, “it is none of my business, and quite frankly, I couldn’t care less,” I lied.
Just then, my phone started ringing in my pocket and I snatched it out, still glaring and Daniel.
“Samuel, how nice of you to call,” I said, a fake smile plastered across my face as I walked away from him. “Yes, of course, I’d love to meet you for a drink!”
“Who the fuck is Samuel?” asked Stephen, bemused. I turned to see Daniel marching furiously into the house.
“I’ll explain when I see you, what’s up?” I asked.
“Andrew and I are throwing a party next Friday; are you and Selina up for it?” he asked.
“You’re together? I thought you two had fallen out!” I exclaimed, pleased to see they had survived the problem, but feeling shitty myself. As a friend, I should have called him the next day, but in my defence, I’d had a lot on my mind lately.
“Oh that was just me being a drama queen! I’ll tell you all about it when I see you. Now, bring Selina and be here at eight. We’re inviting all of your colleagues, since Andrew is going to be the new Department Head! It’s smart-casual, honey lips! Kisses and see you soon!” he hung up as I was saying goodbye. I looked at the screen, laughing, and then returned my phone to my pocket.
I spent most of that night tossing and turning, alternating between despair at my fate and anger at Daniel. It had hurt me more than I’d cared to admit, seeing that woman offering herself to him. The situation was becoming more and more confusing. I should be with a witch, but he didn’t want me. He flirted with me. He was a man-whore. And I still wasn’t sure who or what had jinxed my date. Why couldn’t I just have a normal life?
Realising I wasn’t solving anything by worrying about it, I finally relaxed my body and dropped off to sleep.
I seemed to have just closed my eyes when the alarm woke me up. With a grand yawn, I dragged myself out of bed, preparing for the day.
I picked up my car up from the garage on my way in to work, almost crying at the amount of money it took to fix the old pile of junk. Apparently, not only had they had to replace the windscreen and the bumper, the break discs had been shot and a million other routine repairs needed to be done, despite the fact that it had been serviced only three months prior. I eyeballed the middle-aged, portly mechanic as he scratched his stomach, leering at me.
“Look, are you sure all of these repairs have been carried out… or were even necessary?” I asked. I didn’t trust the greasy sod as far as I could throw him.
“Absolutely, Miss Rutherford. In fact, you were very lucky you didn’t have a serious accident. The car was completely un-roadworthy.” He peered at me through beady eyes and picked something out of his teeth.
I handed over the money and waited for a receipt before climbing dejectedly into my car. I could still see him in the rear-view mirror, standing with his hands in his pockets and a big smile on his face. But as I turned the key in the ignition and looked back through the mirror, he’d disappeared entirely. He’d probably gone to spend all of my money.
I arrived at the office a little before eight thirty to find the place deserted. I picked up my cup and was making coffee just as Jack came running through the door, still clad in his biking gear and glowing from his exercise.
“Mornin’, petal,” he yelled at me as he ped into the office. I walked back in to find him stripped down to his shorts, sporting a very manly chest.
“Jesus, Jack, do you need to do that here? Use the facilities!”
“Oh? I didn’t know you had an objection to seeing people’s underwear. I heard you were flashing yours about a bit on Saturday,” he laughed as he climbed into his trousers.
I groaned and took my seat. “I suppose Samuel told you it was a complete disaster?” I asked.
Vaijayanti came in on the tail end of our conversation. “What was a disaster?” she asked as she took off her coat.
Jack regaled her with the whole sorry tale as I sat cringing at my desk, tapping my fingers impatiently and waiting for my computer to boot up.
“Ah, the dreaded curse,” said Vaijayanti, looking at me with compassion.
“Mind you,” Jack continued. “…he wasn’t expecting the boils on his arse! That wasn’t you as well was it?”
“What boils?” I asked.
“He can’t sit down, poor fella. Covered, he is, so.” Jack burst out laughing.
“I tried to call him yesterday, but he won’t take my call,” I said miserably. “I just wanted to see that he was ok and tell him no hard feelings.”
“I think he’s more embarrassed than anything else, petal. He keeps going on about how he dropped you in the mud.”
“None of it was his fault, Jack. It’s all me.”
“Ah now don’t fret, petal. I told him about the curse. He took some convincing mind you.”
I groaned and flopped my head down on my desk. Simon would think I was a complete nut job at this rate. Who needed enemies when you had friends like these?
“Look, he’s coming to Andrew’s party wit me on Friday. You can talk to him then.” Jack pulled on his shirt, fastening his buttons and caught Vaijayanti eyeballing him as he did so. Grinning like a Cheshire cat, he picked up his cup and waltzed out, wiggling his arse as he went.
Vaijayanti tutted and rolled her eyes like she hadn’t enjoyed the show, then picked up her cup to join him.
When I arrived home, Agnes was in the living room with the laptop on her knee, cackling to herself.
“You’d better not be buying anything!” I yelled at her as I hung up my coat.
“Just getting to grips with this modern technology malarkey!” she yelled. “I have a Facebook profile and a twitter account. It’s bloody great!”
“Social media is only useful if you have friends to share your profiles with, Agnes,” I called back as I made my way upstairs to change.
“I’ve got friends, you cheeky mare,” she yelled back. Yeah, and I’d be a monkey’s uncle if any of them had Facebook accounts.
Did they even have computers in heaven?
I stripped down to my underwear just as Daniel appeared, leaning against the bedroom wall.
I grabbed my dressing gown to cover myself and glared at him. “Can you please, please, not invade my privacy?” I snapped.
“I’m rather enjoying the view!” he said, smiling lazily.
“Yes, I’ve noticed your penchant for ogling semi-naked women,” I snapped back, pulling my arms into the dressing gown while still trying to stay covered.
“So when’s your date with Samuel?” he smirked.
“I’m seeing him on Friday, as it happens,” I threw back. That wiped the smile off his face.
He walked slowly towards me as I backed up against the bed, then crab-walked sideways to keep distance between us. He kept coming.
“Whatever you have in mind to do, don’t!” said Natalia, leaning against the door post and watching Daniel intently.
Daniel spun around and glared at her. “You don’t need to protect her from me,” he snapped, angrier than I had ever seen him.
Not backing down, Natalia moved into the room and put herself between us. “I protect her from all threats Daniel, you should know that.”
The next second he disappeared, and I dropped onto the bed.
“Was he going to hurt me?” I asked her, confused.
“Hasn’t he already?” she asked, arching her eyebrow and turning abruptly to leave the room.
I sat there, thinking about what she’d said. He hadn’t physically hurt me, but emotionally, I suppose he had. But that meant I had to accept that I had feelings for him that went beyond lust, and that, I wasn’t prepared to admit. Even to myself.
I finished dressing and returned downstairs to find the laptop sitting alone on the chair, with Agnes and Natalia deep in conversation in the kitchen.
I lifted the computer up and sat down, deciding to see for myself what Agnes had been up to. Her Facebook profile stared me in the face and I laughed out loud. Sure enough, she had set up a fairly decent profile and had even taken a selfie using the laptop’s camera. Her eyes looked like they were bugging out behind her glasses and she had a big smile on her face. I smiled as I checked out her details. I was shocked to see she had already added seven friends. I scrolled through them to see who they were. Selina was on there, as was Daniel, but I didn’t recognise the others.