by Unknown
Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on Daniel’s profile. There didn’t appear to be much activity on his timeline so I clicked on his friends list. Mostly women, quell surprise! As I looked down the list, however, I saw that three of them were sisters and two of them nieces. Hmm, still didn’t mean he wasn’t a man-whore!
I clicked off the profile just as the doorbell went and I rushed to open it, knowing before I did so, it was Selina. It was spells night, tonight, and she was bringing the makings for stroganoff, my favourite!
“All hail, the conquering hero,” I said, as I pulled the door wide to allow her entry and did an elaborate bow in front of her. She struggled across the threshold with three carrier bags filled with groceries and I jumped to take them from her.
“It is bloody freezing out there,” she complained. “You wouldn’t think it was almost May.”
As she took off her coat, I carried the bags into the kitchen where Agnes and Natalia stood, Agnes looking guilty, and Natalia looking mad as hell. What was going on?
“What are you two up to now?” I asked, dumping the bags onto the kitchen table.
“Agnes has something she needs to tell you,” Natalia declared, her grim eyes never leaving Agnes’ face. Agnes looked at Selina apologetically and I stood there getting more confused.
“You’d better sit down,” Agnes said, now looking at me.
“What have you done, Agnes?” I sank into the chair that Selina pulled out for me, all sorts of things going through my mind. Had she been ordering more junk and emptied my bank account? Was she responsible for the debacle that was referred to as ‘the first date’ with Samuel?
“I did it for your own good, remember that,” said Agnes, taking the seat opposite me as Selina sat down to my left.
“You know that night you came in to find Selina and I playing with the cauldron? Well, we sort of made a potion,” she said, playing with her fingers in her lap. Selina gasped audibly and her face went white.
“What kind of potion?” I asked her, feeling slightly relieved it wasn’t my bank account.
“We just wanted to help you out a bit,” said Selina, now looking as guilty as Agnes. Natalia snorted and leaned against the bench, flicking her long, red hair behind her in agitation.
“WHAT KIND OF POTION?” I shouted, growing increasingly vexed.
“It was a love potion,” Agnes mumbled.
“A what?”
“A love potion,” she repeated, glaring at me.
“We just wanted to give Mother Nature a little nudge!” Selina beseeched me with her eyes.
I sat back in the chair, dumbfounded. Then it hit me, full force in the face.
“So that’s why I’ve been having filthy dreams about Daniel and can’t get him out of my head,” I exploded, standing up so quick the chair shot out behind me and toppled over.
“We didn’t give it to you,” Selina cried, as she stood too.
“We gave it to Daniel,” Agnes finished, looking highly amused. “And judging by what you just said, we probably did you a favour!”
I lay on the sofa with a bag of ice on my head, trying to come to terms with what Agnes had told me. Agnes perched on the arm chair while sat Natalia on the floor, legs crossed beside her, almost but not quite hiding the glee from her face. She had almost pissed herself laughing in the kitchen, something I wouldn’t be forgetting anytime soon.
“You have got to undo the spell,” I said, for the fiftieth time.
No wonder I couldn’t understand his behaviour, one minute declaring he didn’t find me attractive, and the next he was all over me. I felt physically sick. He hadn’t been interested in me all along. Only the meddling of my so called friends had caused anything to happen after all.
“And you have to tell him the truth about the whole situation,” I shot up into a sitting position. “I hope he doesn’t think I had anything to do with it,” I said in despair, looking across at Agnes.
Selina came into the room carrying a tray containing four glasses of dark brown liquid and plonked it on the table.
“I am not eating or drinking anything any of you have had the opportunity to mess with!” I said, glaring at her.
“Calm down, it’s only Brandy.”
“Yeah, drink enough of them and they can magic your knickers right off,” laughed Natalia, slapping her thigh.
“Talking from experience, there Nat?” I demanded, unamused.
She poked her tongue out at me and took a glass, polishing it off in one go and standing up in one graceful movement. She picked her way out of the room and returned moments later with the bottle in hand, topping her glass up.
I snatched up a glass and downed the contents. Maybe getting blind drunk would make this all go away?
Agnes huffed, putting her hands on her knees to stand. “I’ll do the honourable thing and go and see Daniel now. But tell me now, are you sure you want me to reverse it?” she asked, looking at me.
“Absofuckinglutely!” I snapped, taking the fourth glass and downing it, not caring it had been meant for Agnes. She looked at me, astonished, then promptly disappeared. I snatched the brandy bottle from Natalia and, lifting it to my lips, emptied it down my throat.
I didn’t go to work the next day, primarily because I was too busy puking my insides out. I vaguely remembered Natalia carrying me to bed over her shoulder as I belted out “No More The Fool” for all I was worth. What I didn’t remember, Natalia took great pleasure in reminding me. In minute detail. Several times.
Daniel didn’t come to see me that day, or the next. When he hadn’t shown up by Friday, I was convinced he blamed me for the whole sorry affair. I’d spent a day tied in knots, scared that he would come to see me about it, then another praying he would. Today, I refused to dwell on it, putting it and him out of my mind. Instead, I decided to pop out at lunch time and treat myself to a new dress for the party tonight. In deference to Daniel, I bought the sexiest, sluttiest dress I could get my hands on. I might as well give him something to bloody complain about. I found a beautiful, long-sleeved, tight fitting black mini dress and a lovely pair of black leather, thigh length boots. Natalia had promised to do my makeup and hair and I was looking forward to going out and getting into trouble with anyone who wasn’t a witch, couldn’t read my mind, knew nothing about me and didn’t make my heart jump each time the phone rang. In short, I was going to have myself a one night stand with an absolute stranger. Preferably a straight one, but at this point I wasn’t picky.
By seven-thirty, Natalia, Selina and I were waiting in the living room for Agnes to finally make an appearance. We’d decided she deserved a night out too and bullied her into getting dressed up. For once, I didn’t feel over-shadowed by the beauty of either Selina or Natalia, who both looked stunning. Selina was wearing a shift dress, and Natalia, a black trouser suit and copper coloured shirt. The dress I’d bought was a knockout and I was looking forward to seeing its impact at the party.
“For the love of God Agnes, will you hurry up,” Selina shouted up the stairs.
A bang came from upstairs and Natalia and I exchanged worried glances.
“Hold your goddam horses, woman! I’m not as young as I used to be and these feckin shoes are more like stilts!” Agnes complained as she made her way down the stairs, bouncing of the walls and almost going over on her ankle halfway down.
She wore a demure lilac suit with a floating skirt and white blouse. Her hair and make-up, courtesy of Natalia, were immaculate. In fact, she looked rather fetching for a woman of her years, until you looked below the skirt and the five inch heels she was trying to balance on that made her legs go bandy. I smothered a smile and pulled her out the door into the waiting taxi.
We arrived at ten past the hour precisely. The house, an amazing two story, seven bedroom, detached in the well to do area of Darras Hall, was lit up like a Christmas tree. As we exited the car and looked up, Agnes seemed quite intimidated and kept pulling her skirt down at the back.
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��Stop fidgeting,” I said, slapping her hands. Selina linked her arm and I took the other as Natalia linked onto my left. Together, we made our way up the drive like the girls on Sex in the City. Or the Witches of Eastwick, one of the two.
The door was open as we approached, and we made our way into the opulent hall to be greeted by Andrew.
“Ladies, ladies, stunning as always,” he said, hugging Selina and then me. I introduced Natalia as my cousin and Agnes as my grandmother and he hugged them both too, much to the surprise of Agnes and the disgust of Natalia. She wasn’t a touchy-feely kind of girl, obviously.
“You sly old dog, you didn’t even tell me you were coming to work with us!” I said, poking him in the chest.
“I promised John I would let him break the news, darling, and you know me; a man of honour!” he laughed.
“Lauren Rutherford, where did you get those darling boots!” a voice came from behind me and I turned to see Stephen approaching me with his arms in the air, ready for a hug. After more introductions, he escorted us to the main dining room.
They’d removed the eight foot long table that normally lived there to make space for people to mill around, and the delicate strains of Richard Clayderman’s Ballade pour Adeline melted from hidden speakers, a well-known favourite of Andrew’s.
Smaller tables filled with canapés and nibbles stood along one wall at the back, and people were already helping themselves. Immediately, a young girl in a waitress outfit approached us with a tray of crystal glasses filled with champagne and we helped ourselves. The girls had really outdone themselves tonight.
“You have got to tell me what went down the other night,” I whispered to Stephen.
“Let’s just say I misjudged John’s intentions, darling, but the make-up sex was out of this world,” he sniggered.
“I didn’t get it wrong, did I? John is gay?” I whispered back.
“No, John is as straight as an arrow,” said a voice behind me and I groaned, turning to see my boss standing there with a big smile on his face. “Lovely to see you, Lauren…” he said, linking arms with a delicate and petite brunette. “…have you met my wife?” He arched his eyebrow and laughed openly at me. She patted my hand, soothingly.
“Don’t tease her, John. Lovely to meet you, Lauren. I’m Stella, since my husband seems to have forgotten his manners this evening.” Her eyes twinkled as she pulled him off in another direction.
Stephen started to laugh but had the decency to try and hide it behind his hand.
“You bastard, you could have warned me!” I said, pink in the face. I sipped the champagne, not wanting to get smashed and embarrass myself any more than I already had.
“Sweetheart, you are priceless! Now, I must dash and play host, but I’ll catch up with you later,” he said, making his way back through the door. I looked around to see Selina and Natalia loading plates, and Agnes chatting amiably with David, one of the window lickers/graphics designers. I walked across to join her in time to see her down a full glass of champagne in one go.
“Sweet cheeks, do you know this young man? Charming fellow,” she said, doing her best Mrs. Bucket impression. David took one look at me and turned on his heel, bad-mannered lout.
“Oh dear, did I say something out of turn?” Agnes asked as she filched another glass of champagne from a tray floating past her.
“Take it easy on that stuff,” I warned her. “Let me get you some food to soak it up!”
I rushed to the table and ladled a bit of everything onto a plate. Selina looked over at me and winked. She was standing with Jack and I groaned, wondering when I would have to face Samuel. Perhaps I could manage to avoid him. After all, it was a large enough house and many of the guests were either on the veranda or in the living room.
I dashed back to Agnes, thrusting the plate in her hands as she chatted with another guest, one I hadn’t met before. “Oh, please allow me to introduce my granddaughter,” said Agnes, still sounding like she had marbles in her mouth. “Darling this is, erm… sorry, what did you say your name was again?” she asked, pushing the second empty glass of champagne into my hand.
I looked up at the amazingly tall, dark haired gentleman as he pushed his hand toward me for a very weak handshake. “The name’s Adrian, darling, Andrew has told me so much about you. And I have to say, I simply adore those boots! You must tell me where you got them from!”
I imagined this was Adrian the hair stylist that had been the cause of Stephen and Andrew’s first big bust up.
“Pleased to meet you at last, Adrian. And I’ll tell you, if you tell me!” I dipped my head at his skin-tight, purple trousers. “Want to swap?” I grinned.
“Ooh you are naughty!” he winked.
Just then, I spotted Vaijayanti. “Excuse me just a moment,” I said, making my way over to give her a hug. She looked absolutely stunning tonight in a jade green Sari, her hair swept to one side and held in place with golden clips.
I grabbed a glass of champagne and asked for an orange juice for her. As the waiter hurried away to get her drink, she took the champagne out of my hand and knocked it back.
“What? I thought you didn’t drink,” I said, shocked.
She looked around nervously. “Tonight, I do.”
“What’s up?” I said, eyeing her suspiciously.
Before she could answer, I was muscled out of the way by Jack and the penny dropped. I made my excuses and hurried back to Agnes, who was tearing her way through the plate of food as if she’d never been fed. She licked her fingers and snaffled another passing glass of champagne and I groaned. So much for making a big impression, I thought. I’m going to be babysitting her all bloody night.
At that point, a hand grabbed my arse. I turned around, and then looked down at a four foot three, slightly balding man with a glint in his eye. Bad Luck was back with a sodding vengeance.
“Lauren, dearest, long time no see! John told me you would be coming tonight so I thought I would save you the bother of looking for me,” he said, trying to pull me down for a kiss.
I resisted and took his hand and shook it instead. “Geoffrey! How nice to, er, see you again.” I pulled Agnes in front of me. “Geoffrey, meet Agnes, my grandmother.”
Agnes shook his hand and he angled around her to get close to me again. Geoffrey was one of our biggest contracts, owning a chain of restaurants up and down the country. I couldn’t afford to piss him off, but neither could I bear to spend the entire night dodging his advances. He’d taken a fancy to me one day last year when he’d been visiting John, and I’d spent the last twelve months avoiding him like the plague.
“Would you be a dear and get me a glass of water?” Agnes asked me. “I fear I have something stuck in my throat.” She coughed and smacked her chest. She was such a fake. She nodded her head sideways in the age old sign of ‘Get the fuck out of here’. I smiled at her gratefully and hurried into the throng.
I turned in time to see Geoffrey making a beeline for me and I dodged up the stairs. When he kept coming, I made my way quickly to one of the guest bedrooms, ping through the door and into the nearest cupboard, hiding like the coward I was.
I don’t know how long I stayed in there, but my feet had swelled in my boots and I was starting to feel a little claustrophobic. Thinking he must surely have gone by now, I’d just made the decision to come out and face the music when I heard the door open and quickly pulled the cupboard door closed. There was a distinct sound of moaning, then the door slammed shut.
I froze. It couldn’t be? No one really made out at parties these days, unless they were sixteen years old! There was a muffled giggle, followed by the sound of a spring going on the bed.
Oh. My. God.
“I’ve brought protection,” Vaijayanti said, and I stood there, rooted to the spot.
Jack sniggered. “Vaj, that’s a sauce sachet, darling.”
“One second, ah, here it is!”
“Stop! Stop!” I shouted and pushed the door open. “Sorry to intrude,
” I said as Jack and Vaijayanti’s faces both turned to me in shock. Her sari was gathered up around her waist and Jack was frozen between her thighs.
I ran from the room, yanking the door open and slamming it behind me. On the plus side, things should get easier at work now, I thought, as my cheeks cooled and I made my way back down the stairs, keeping an eye out for the lecherous Geoffrey.
Natalia was busy chatting up a dishy looking man in Armani, and I mentally wished her luck as I looked about for the others. Selina had paired up with someone I recognised as working with Andrew and Stephen but couldn’t remember his name. I hope he’s straight, I thought as I continued scanning for Agnes. As I hit the last stair, I caught a glimpse of her, standing just inside the veranda doors, champagne in hand and her dress tucked into the back of the knickers.
Her g-string knickers.
God, let me die now!
I rushed across, grabbing a drink from a passing tray as I went, and came up behind her to protect her modesty. She was five sheets to the wind and talking animatedly to Stephen. I discretely pulled her dress down.
“Wow!” she screamed as she dipped backwards and turned in one fluid motion. “Are you trying to get in my knickers!”
At that moment, there was a lull in the music and every head in the room turned to examine me, speculatively. My eye fell to the floor. Luckily, I’d managed to unhook her dress, but the damage to my reputation was irreparable. I downed the contents of the glass.
“Ahh Lauren, darling, there you are,” she slurred, grabbing me by the arm. “You’re just in time, Stephen is about to make an announcement,” she said. I looked desperately at Stephen and he laughed.