by Linda Ford
“I’ll pray.” He sat beside her and reach for her hand.
“Lord God, healer and defender, we thank You for Anna’s well-being and for rescue from the raiders and for the safe return of the animals.” His voice deepened. “I thank You for the food You have provided but even more, I thank You for a wife and child. Amen.”
He had never before spoken of gratitude for a wife. Why now? It wasn’t as if she’d fallen in with his plans for the future. In fact, she continued to resist his wish that she forget about her past. Judith hurriedly turned her attention to serving the food. She tried to avoid Gil’s gaze, but when Anna said, “Umm, umm,” and leaned forward begging for food, she laughed and could not resist sharing the enjoyment of this child with Gil.
They were too busy the next little while for her to concern herself with how things might look in the future. They ate a hurried breakfast, cleaned up their campsite and prepared for the day’s journey.
Gil helped her to the wagon seat and handed Anna up. The baby found her collection of rocks and greeted them like long lost friends.
Judith laughed.
“Good to see you so happy,” Gil said.
Judith looked toward the other wagons, pulling into a long line. “By noon we’ll be with the others.”
She expected they would be on their way but she’d forgotten they had to cross Cow Creek. They pulled up to the side of the other wagons. The stream looked lower than the Little Arkansas. She mentioned it to Gil.
“Don’t let it fool you. The bottom is muddy and the wheels sink to their axles. It’s a difficult crossing. It will take time.”
The lighter wagons went first then one by one, the heavier ones, each struggling through the deceptively placid creek. She wondered aloud at their hurry this morning. “I could have washed every item of bedding and clothing while we waited.”
Gil alternately stood by the wagon and paced back and forth. He heard her comment. “I wish I could be helping.”
There was nothing she could say to make it so for him. By noon, they’d be able to join the others. But until then they must wait.
The crossing was soon complete and they continued on their way. Despite the jostling and bouncing and hard seat of the wagon it was good to be back on the trail but it made it far too easy to do nothing but think. Judith tried to keep her mind on her reason for her journey. But the future beckoned. A future shared with Gil and Anna. In an attempt to divert herself from the confusion of her thoughts, she turned to Gil.
“You’ve told me little about Lillian. What was she like?”
“I would think what I’ve told you is enough for you to draw your own conclusions.” His voice had grown hard. Such a contrast to how he spoke to Judith and Anna.
“How did you meet her?”
“Why do you ask? That’s in the past and I don’t care to go back.”
“Maybe—” She spoke slowly, forming her thoughts as she continued, “if I can understand how you are able to forget the past I might learn how to do it.” She felt his study of her, but kept her attention on the mules. She wasn’t sure she wanted to forget—not until she’d dealt with it the only way she knew how. Then perhaps, it could be set aside. But until then it simply wasn’t acceptable to not do what she could to make things right. For Frank’s sake as well as her own.
Gil accepted her answer. “Perhaps it will. I met her in my father’s store. She was—or rather, seemed—so sweet and innocent. She wanted to know if we had a certain color thread. She kept her eyes lowered, stealing only a quick glance at me as if too shy to actually meet my look. I thought she was the perfect woman. I learned she had recently come to live with her aunt and I arranged for a proper introduction.”
Judith tried in vain to make this picture of a sweet young lady fit the one she had from Gil’s few comments. “So you courted her?”
“I did. We went to church together and church socials and literary evenings. We visited in each other’s home, always with my father or her aunt to chaperone.”
Judith tried not to grin at the difference in how she and Gil had met and married.
“Did you never suspect she wasn’t all you thought?”
He didn’t answer immediately and she turned just enough to be able to see his face and take in the hard set of his jaw. He lifted one shoulder. “I had noticed her flirting with men a time or two but put it down to her innocence. I told myself she didn’t know how it appeared to the man and I spoke to her about it. She was immediately contrite. Turns out she was neither shy nor contrite. I had been duped from the beginning.”
She wrapped her fingers around his hand. “I’m sorry. I know how much it must have hurt.”
“It’s in the past. I only care about the present and the future.”
A small sigh escaped. “So you’ve said.” She didn’t understand how it was possible.
“There is no value in letting the past weigh one down.”
“Sometimes the past needs justice.”
They fell silent, each clinging to their opinion. Judith did not like being at odds with Gil, but he was so stubborn. “Doesn’t the Bible say, ‘No man, having put his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the Kingdom of God.’?”
“I don’t think it means something like what you have in mind.”
She would not acknowledge that he was right and felt childish for not doing so. “I must do what I must do.”
He reached for her hand and held it gently. “Judith, I am tired of having this same argument over and over. Nothing ever changes. I’d much rather enjoy your company and little Anna’s without this constant disagreement. I’m satisfied that we’ll reach some sort of compromise when the time comes. Can we agree to let it rest until we reach our destination?”
She knew he hoped she’d change her mind before they reached Santa Fe. A great portion of her wished she could. But he was right. There was nothing to be gained by going over the same ground again and again. She wouldn’t mind forgetting it for the time being. “Agreed.” She turned her palm to his and they intertwined their fingers.
“That’s better.” He grinned at her in a way that almost made her forget everything else.
They rode on in companionable quiet for a time.
Suddenly she thought of something. “Where did your stepbrother go?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t personally heard from him or seen him since he left. I know he contacted my pa and his ma from time to time for more money and always had a different address but when I tried to find him at the various places he wasn’t there and no one seemed to recall him. I can only assume he used a temporary address purposely so he couldn’t be found.”
“You think he was misusing the funds?”
“He always borrowed. Never returned.” He shook her hand gently. “I have a feeling this discussion is leading back to the same one we have decided to leave behind.”
She nodded. “I suppose I was hoping to make you understand my feelings seeing as you have a similar stepbrother.”
“I thought you were going to make me an apple pie.”
It took a moment for her to realize what he meant. “I must have forgotten.”
“I haven’t.”
She knew he teased and she laughed. “I’ll have to see what I can do tonight.”
“If we rejoin the others I suppose that means I’ll have to share the pie with them.”
She loved the way his voice filled with sorrow even if he only pretended it mattered that much. “Seems only right.” Her gaze went to the wagons traveling to their right.
A short time later, Buck called for a nooning halt. He rode toward them. “How’s the little one?”
Gil pulled Anna to his knee. “Wave at the man.”
She did so.
“She’s fine. We’re all fine.”
“Welcome back.” He waved them toward the others and Gil drove the wagon over to fall in behind Luke’s wagon.
Judith jumped down as soon as it was safe and was engulfed in
hugs from Donna Grace and Mary Mae. Then her brothers shook Gil’s hand and patted her shoulders, welcoming them back.
Reverend and Mrs. Shepton also extended their welcome. Polly and her father joined in the greetings and the teamsters waved and cheered.
Buck sat astride his horse, smiling. “We ain’t got all day,” he said after he’d let them say their hellos.
Judith joined the others in serving a cold meal that they ate hurriedly. It felt so good to be with others that she met Gil’s eyes and smiled, letting him know how happy she was.
To her surprise, he didn’t smile back and her pleasure waned. She knew he was glad that none of them had come down with that dreadful disease so why didn’t he share her pleasure? Had he been serious when he said he would miss having her and Anna as his sole companions? She couldn’t pull from his gaze and felt something warm and sweet pool in her stomach.
“While the men rest we have time to rearrange a few things,” Donna Grace said.
Judith hurried to the back of the wagon Donna Grace and Luke shared with baby Elena Rose. “Wow. It’s really crowded in here.” Much of the stuff belonged to Judith. “Thank you for not throwing it out.”
Donna Grace chuckled. “Luke threatened to when we almost mired down crossing Cow Creek but I persuaded him not to.”
Judith laughed at the idea of her brother acquiescing to Donna Grace’s wishes.
They moved Judith’s trunk and other belongings to the other wagon before it was time to move on.
They were ready to leave when she realized how very different things were going to be.
Gil had left a few minutes ago with Buck and returned on horseback. He paused at her side. “I’ll be scouting again. Warren will drive the wagon.” He touched the brim of his hat that shaded his eyes. She couldn’t be sure that she saw regret they would no longer travel together or if the feeling came from her own thoughts.
* * *
“Of course,” she murmured. This was what they’d expected to happen but as he rode away, she couldn’t believe how much she missed him already.
Gil loved the solitude of guiding. He could ride for hours and never speak to anyone except maybe his faithful old horse, Slack, who had heard most of his concerns and doubts over the years.
“You’ve been a faithful friend,” he told the horse. “But I gotta say you aren’t much of a conversationalist. ’Course you don’t ask any questions either. Guess I should be grateful for that.”
Judith’s questions about Ollie had renewed thoughts of the past. “I thought I had them over and done with. Seems I’m forever letting myself care about those who don’t necessarily return the feeling.” There was Pa who put Ollie first. There was Ollie whom Gil had wanted more than anything to be special friends with. Instead, Ollie had left their parents destitute and never contacted Gil again. There was Lillian who had shown him in the worst way just how little she cared about his feelings.
“And now there’s Judith.”
Slack twitched his ears.
“You don’t know what I’m talking about but here’s the thing. She’s promised to be faithful, but she’s put me in an awkward position. Seems if I don’t go along with her in looking for this Jones person, she will go on her own. I can’t allow that.” He sighed. “Yup. That’s the way it is. I’ll have to tag along after her on some wild goose chase that might last until we’re both old and gray.” He didn’t know when he’d made the decision to go with her, but perhaps he’d known all along it was what he must do.
“Unless she changes her mind before then and decides to leave the past and ride into the future with me.” It was his greatest hope.
“Maybe I can do things to make her see that’s what she wants.” He came full circle back to the courting idea. Although he kept his ears and eyes opened and made sure no more raiders nor other dangers lurked about to put the wagon train in danger, he also planned how he could court Judith under their circumstances.
A movement in the distance caught his attention and he reined toward a dip in the land and watched the speck. It didn’t move. He couldn’t make out if it was a man on horseback or an animal. One way to find out. Keeping Slack to a slow pace he made his way around the curve of the dip, pausing often to see if the object remained. He thought he saw it move once but it might have been only the wavy lines rising from the warm earth.
In a few more minutes he rose from the hollow and stood in plain view, waiting for the thing to move. He leaned over Slack’s neck.
“Guess we’ll have to take our chances, old boy.” He rode forward and suddenly reined in. What he saw was not a man but something made to look like one, stuffed pants and shirt tied to the back of a horse.
He’d almost ridden straight into a trap. He glanced about. A rider approached from his left, another from his right. The pretend man was replaced by a real one who rode toward him.
Gil reined about and galloped back into the hollow and made for a line of trees along a little draw that would lead back to Cow Creek.
His direction took him away from the wagon train though the dust from it could be seen by anyone who cared to have a look. It caused him to wonder why these men were after him. Apart from the fact he was alone.
In the past, he had thought only of saving his own hide. Now he thought only of Judith and Anna and his desire to share a home with them. His mind raced as he sought for a plan.
Slack galloped into the bushes of the draw.
A shot rang out and dirt puffed up to his right. A sharpshooter with a good rifle who could end Gil’s life here and now.
Gil lay over Slack’s neck. “Think you can outrun them?” he asked the horse who already panted.
He didn’t take time to offer a formal prayer, but he threw his wordless prayer to heaven. He had been in danger hundreds of times but now it mattered that he live. Others mattered to him more than his own life.
A dark spot ahead caught his attention. A hollow in the dirt bank. He reined in without further consideration and guided Slack into the spot that was barely big enough for his horse and himself. “Good boy,” he told his cooperative mount.
The sound of galloping horses reached him. They would soon catch up. He readied himself, his rifle aimed at the place where they would appear.
The leader thundered into sight. Gil fired and the man’s gun flew into the air. The horse reared. The man lost his seat and landed on the ground. He scurried into bushes that did little to hide him and nothing to protect him.
The second man pulled back but not before he was in Gil’s sights. He shot at Gil and Gil returned fire. The man rolled from his saddle to the ground, injured or worse.
The third man rode away and Gil fired after him more as a warning than anything. He emerged from his little cave, his gun trained on the man cowering in the bushes. “Come out.”
The man emerged, his hands above his head. Gil nudged the other man with his boot. He’d be a danger to no one ever again.
But what was he to do with the man before him? He studied him. Didn’t recognize him. Why did he wonder if it was Ollie? Judith had gotten him to thinking of his stepbrother. What if he was the stepbrother Judith sought. “What’s your name?”
“Who wants to know?”
Gil had no intention of shooting the man but he didn’t need to know that. “Might be nice to put something on the cross that marks your grave.”
“Just put Captain on the cross.”
Gil had to give the man credit for not showing any fear. “Why were you after me?”
The man laughed. “I thought you were someone else. Me and some others were supposed to meet and share our goods, if you know what I mean.”
Gil did. Good stolen from others. He wondered if they were associates of those who meant to rob the wagon train. “Might be those others met an untimely end.”
The man gave him a hard stare. “Let’s get this over with.”
Gil considered his options. He had two horses, a man with a bad attitude, a dead man who—
no matter what he’d done—deserved a decent burial and a third man who might even now be drawing a bead on him. Sweat broke out on Gil’s brow but he would not give an inch.
“You got a shovel?”
“What business is that of yours?”
Gil signaled the man toward his horse, saw shovel hanging from the saddle bags. “Start digging.”
“Says who?”
“Dig or I’ll leave two bodies out here for the wolves to enjoy.”
The man cursed him soundly then set to digging. Gil backed into the protection of the cave and kept his rifle trained on the man and tried to think what to do.
At the sound of an approaching horse, he stood to attention. “If this is your friend, you better hope he doesn’t come in shooting because you’ll be the first to die.”
“Curses to you.” The man raised the shovel as if he planned to attack Gil with it.
Gil hoped he wouldn’t be forced to shoot another man.
A voice called from the ridge above them. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
Gil knew that voice and grinned. “You been following me around, Buck?”
“Nope, but when I heard gunshots I decided to investigate.” He rode down, leading the third man bound and tied to his horse.
“What do you plan to do with this pair?” Gil asked.
“Haven’t decided. Sure don’t want to babysit them. But I thought I might turn them over to Frenchie. He enjoys having men like this to play with.”
Buck referred to one of the teamsters.
“Yeah, Frenchie loves picking up grown men, holding them over his head then slamming them into the ground. He’ll like having some new playthings.” Gil grinned at Buck as the color drained from the faces of their prisoners. Gil knew, as did Buck, that although Frenchie was big, he didn’t have a violent nature. But for the safety of those in the wagon train, it might be best not to inform their prisoners of that fact. A little fear would keep them on their best behavior.
They allowed Captain to finish digging the grave.
“What name shall I put on the marker?” Gil asked. He’d found a thick branch that would have to do.