Projected Pleasure

by Projected Pleasure (lit)

  Her bedroom door burst open, and Kylie ran in, shutting it quickly behind her. The look of pure terror masked her features while she rushed toward the bed. Marley opened her mouth to warn her, but she wasn’t quick enough.

  “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t tell my brother about what’s going on with you? Do you know how worried I was? Jesus, Marley! You can’t continue to hide your condition from him.”

  Marley waved her hands around frantically, trying to cut her sister-in-law off, but it was no use. Cole stood at the bathroom door looking at both of them. With a groan, Marley pulled the covers over her head and said every curse word she knew.

  “One of you better tell me what’s going on right this minute.”

  Marley pulled back the blanket just in time to see him stalking toward them. She threw an aggravated look at Kylie. The shock registering on her face said she clearly wasn’t aware they weren’t alone.

  “I just meant…well, I mean, shit.” Kylie collapsed on the side of the bed.

  “Kylie, I outrank you and I order you to tell me. If something is wrong with Marley, I want to know. Don’t even try to hide anything, either.”

  “She’s sick,” she said, letting the words burst out.

  “What do you mean, sick? Describe.” Cole turned to stare at Marley.

  “I’m right here, and I’m not sick, so don’t start this conversation without me in it. The doctor says its postpartum depression, that’s all.”

  “Marley, we both know it has to be something more than what that quack says. I don’t even know why you continue to go to him.”

  “Cole.” Kylie turned toward him.

  “Don’t, Kylie,” Marley warned. The mix of panic and anger began rushing through her. If Cole knew, there was a chance he would tell Zachary, and she didn’t want that.

  “I have to. You heard him. He ordered me to tell him what’s wrong with you.”

  “I said don’t!” Marley yelled, rising to her knees on the bed. The insect feeling began crawling over her skin as anger took a prominent role. Her whole body started shaking from the rage that began to consume her. Every second that went by made her emotions flare.

  “Calm down, Marley. Just lay down and you can tell me yourself. How about that? Will that be all right?” Cole’s calm voice made her anger recede.

  Nodding, Marley lay down on the bed and looked up at him. How much could she tell him and get away with? The less he knew the better. If he worried anymore than he needed to then he might not leave to look for a mate. She wasn’t about to be the cause of his unhappiness.

  “It’s only an emotional thing, really. I’ve been getting upset rather easily.”

  “And the cravings,” Kylie led on.

  Marley narrowed her eyes, snapping them in Kylie’s direction. Her friend’s eyes grew big as she must have realized Marley had some sort of plan.

  “What cravings?” Cole asked, looking back between the two women.

  “The doctor said my cravings for meat were just an effect left over from pregnancy, nothing more. I told you, Kylie just overreacted. Everything is fine, Cole. I promise.”

  He remained quiet for so long Marley wasn’t sure what to think. Did he believe her? Shit, he better, for all of their sakes.

  “You promise if anything happens, you’ll call me. I don’t care if it is just a craving. I want to know everything.”

  “I promise on one condition.” Marley grabbed his hand, letting it engulf hers.

  His eyes narrowed, skeptically. “What condition?”

  “You can’t tell Zachary. He has so much to worry about. I don’t want him to be distracted because his wife has a bad case of the baby blues, all right?”

  Cole turned toward Kylie and then back to her. “I promise, but the moment you break yours, I’ll break mine. Deal? ”

  “Deal,” Marley sighed in relief.

  Although she knew it was best for Zachary not to worry it still didn’t stop her from feeling guilty. She hated that not only was she having to hide things from him, but now so were the people closest to him.

  Chapter 5

  Marley stood watching out of the window in the darkness of her bedroom. The white silk nightgown brushed against her legs while she shifted against the aching in her chest. She wouldn’t go down, she couldn’t. It was best if everyone remained thinking she was fast asleep.

  Zachary stood in the front of the house with Cole outside of one of the SUVs. The two pack members who planned on accompanying him sat inside waiting for the man they swore to protect. At the laughing that came from the two men who were closest to her heart, Marley’s hand pressed against the window.

  “Don’t go, Cole. Just turn around and come back upstairs.”

  The breath caught in her throat as Cole stopped what he was saying and looked toward the window. It was as though the world stopped spinning. Time stood frozen as their gazes locked. Startled, she ran and jumped in bed praying that he hadn’t truly seen her through the dark glass. It wasn’t minutes later her door opened.

  “Marley, honey, I know you’re awake. Cole saw you standing at the window. How are you feeling? He was worried.”

  Great. So much for hoping. “Fine. I just woke up and wondered what happened to everyone.”

  Sitting up in bed, Marley watched her husband remove all of his clothing but his boxers. Seeing the muscles flex as he moved, her whole body ignited with a raging heat. An intense need took over her thoughts and body, increasing her temperature with every second. Throwing back the covers, she ran to him, jumping into his arms.

  “Whoa, explain to me what I did to deserve this?” Zachary laughed.

  Marley fixed the long nightgown to bunch around her hips while she tightened her legs around his waist. “I love you. So, tell me you love me back and make passionate love to me all night long.”

  He pulled back, looking at her, concerned. “I’m not sure that’s a good idea after what happened earlier. Don’t you think maybe we should wait until tomorrow, after Dr. Jacoby visits?”

  A groan poured out of her mouth. “Please tell me you didn’t call him. Zachary, I’m fine. I promise you, nothing’s wrong with me. Kylie’s right. He’s a quack.”

  Her husband walked to the bed, gently laying her down. “Until I hear it from a licensed professional, I think we should take it slow. Quack or not.”

  “So, let’s take it slow,” Marley said, pulling at him.

  His rich laughter filled the bedroom. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it. You need to relax tonight. We already made love twice this morning. Maybe you just overdid it with Cole. Rest tonight and if you’re better tomorrow, we’ll proceed.”

  Letting out another groan, Marley watched him walk toward the restroom. When the sound of the water started, she gave the bed a kick. Her body needed release now, dammit! She wasn’t sure why this was happening lately, but she couldn’t get enough. Nothing about what transpired between her and Cole caused the fainting spell. It was the power from the blood that had done it.

  Once blood entered her mind, her body acted automatically. She glided gently out of bed and took off at a full sprint toward the kitchen. The pace was so fast she practically flew down the stairs. Every muscle in her body flexed while she pushed herself harder, and still it wasn’t enough. It took her only a matter of seconds to cover over ten thousand square feet.

  Marley didn’t even feel winded as she gracefully stopped in front of one of the many refrigerators. Running actually made her feel better. She felt jumpy, happy. Her mind processed all the new changes, but what it pointed to she didn’t want to even consider.

  The steaks were packaged individually, and she grabbed one, opening the paper expertly. This was starting to become an every night routine with her, so she had plenty of experience lately. Her teeth tore into the raw meat as she savored the flavor of the blood. While her brain screamed for more, she tried her hardest not to get any on the white gown, but soon she became lost.

  With her finger
s gripping into the meat, she ravaged the steak. Without thinking, she grabbed another one, repeating the act. It wasn’t until she was on her third one that she noticed the light on. She turned, covered from her mouth to her stomach in blood. The white nightgown stuck to her breasts while she panted for breath.

  The look on Zachary’s face nearly made her cry. Fear and shock poured over every single one of his features.

  “I can explain,” she said, dropping the remaining steak at her feet.

  “Explain?” She watched the tension ease from his body. “Marley, you told me about this weeks ago, but I didn’t know you still had the cravings. The doctor said it was normal to want things afterward. Why didn’t you wait for me? I would have joined you.”

  Taken aback, she watched him walk over and hand her another package. Narrowing his eyes, he looked at her curiously. She followed his lead and unwrapped the paper.

  “Zachary, this isn’t a normal thing for people crave.”

  The curiosity left his features and he laughed. “Sure it is. Most humans love their steak rare. You can’t get anymore rare than this.”

  She let his comment go. The last thing he needed to know was it was more the combination of the way the blood tasted while she felt the meat tear between her teeth. As long as he thought it was normal then she would agree.

  “You know, I think we should take Demetri down to Texas in the next few months to meet his grandparents. What do you think?”

  Marley nearly choked from alarm. Was he serious? Leave the grounds and face the chance of running into danger with their son? He might believe everything was fine, but she wasn’t so sure.

  “Can’t they just come to us? I really don’t feel like driving that far with Demetri. I’d feel safer if we stayed here with the pack. At least until he’s older.”

  After a few moments, he nodded. “You’re right. I’ll buy the tickets first thing in the morning. Now, let’s get you in the shower before someone sees you and thinks you’ve had some sort of accident.”

  She followed him up the stairs and into their restroom. Letting the bloody nightgown drop to the floor, Marley shivered at the tingling that prickled her skin. It proved impossible to fight the lust raging through her. Watching Zachary’s back flex as he turned the nozzles stirred something uncontainable deep within her. She was directly behind him before she realized how she got there. The action scared her enough to give her pause. It also gave Zachary time to turn around.

  “Marley, I didn’t hear you. How did you get over here so fast?”

  “Touch me, Zachary. Make love to me. We’ll go slowly, I promise.” She grabbed his hand, bringing it to cup her breast. The pressure of him trying to pull back didn’t budge her hold on him. She smiled, raising her eyebrow as he tested her strength.

  “You know you want to make love, Zachary. Touch me.”

  The look of amazement crossed his face. Suddenly, she realized what she was doing. Shocked, she quickly let go, causing him to fall back into the shower from the amount of strength he had been pulling against her.

  “Shit, are you okay?” She quickly ran to him.

  Water beat over his head while he lay at the bottom of the marble shower staring up at her in awe. The fear she felt left her scrambling for something to say. What had she done? There was no way she could hide the truth from him now. Why was she acting like this? She didn’t even seem like herself anymore.

  For what seemed like eternity, she watched her husband’s expressions change. She could see him holding some internal battle deep within. Marley wished, more than anything, that she could read Zachary’s mind. Slowly, his eyes lifted to hers.

  “I knew it all along. From the moment I caught your scent, I knew you smelled of wolf. But you don’t shift. You’re human. How is that possible?” The water continued to run down his face while he stared at her confused. When his eyes grew big, her heart rate soared. “It has to be in your blood. One of your ancestors had to have carried the disease. It’s the only thing that explains what’s happening.” Slowly, he stood as if in a daze.

  Jordan’s words pushed back into her head. Should she tell him? It couldn’t hurt anything now, but how would it affect pack business? She was completely torn. For so long she kept her secret hidden and with one stupid uncontrollable stunt, her husband knew.

  “Zachary, Jordan said I held lycanthropy in my veins. I didn’t believe him, but now I’m not so sure. Something is happening, I can feel it.” She paused, trying to think of the best way to describe what was occurring. Lying hadn’t gotten her anywhere. If anything, she was getting worse, and he’d eventually find out if what she suspected proved to be true.

  “When we saw that figure in the forest, I thought you were going to stop. You have no idea what came over me when I thought Demetri might be in danger. It was like bugs crawled on my skin. It felt like things were happening inside of me.”

  Zachary’s head shook back and forth. “No, that doesn’t sound right.” He remained quiet for a few minutes and then his eyes grew round, again. “Oh, God, Marley, what have I done? Your pregnancy! You and Demetri shared blood, and he carries mine. I did this.”

  His palm rested against the top of his forehead as he went on. She could tell his mind was racing, trying to process everything. “We won’t be able to have any more children. I refuse to lose you like my father lost my mother. Yes, he got remarried and found another mate to bring Kylie and Henry into our family, but I won’t lose you. I can’t!”

  Marley reached over pulling Zachary’s arm until he was close enough to where she could bury her fingers in his hair. She hadn’t expected him to blame himself. The fact the he was getting so upset was only making it harder for her to cope with what was happening. Not only was she going to literally change form, but no more children. It was true female wolves had a hard time carrying full term. The toll it took on their body and the baby usually ended up with one or the other not making it, but to never have any more kids? She wasn’t sure she liked that. Zachary’s head snapping up brought her attention back to him.

  “The full moon is days away. Do you feel it?”

  Did she feel it? Of course she did! It was probably the reason she was acting so strangely. “Yes,” she whispered.

  “Fuck! Marley, I’m so sorry.” His wet arms engulfed her as he pulled her nude body into his chest. Never would she want to see him react this strongly to anything she told him. It was the main reason why she kept it from him to begin with.

  “I’m not sorry. We have Demetri. I don’t regret that, Zachary. If he’s the reason my lycanthropy was triggered, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

  “I don’t regret Demetri. That’s not what I meant. You’re just going to go through so much pain soon, and I wish you didn’t have to experience it. Marley, you will eventually shift. With everything you’ve been going through, I can’t believe I didn’t notice the signs before. I feel completely stupid. But we still should have time. The effects are pretty slow now, aren’t they?”

  Marley kept quiet and grabbed the shampoo, pouring it into her hair and lathering. The heaviness of their silence could have caused her to drown.

  “I’m waiting, Marley. You will answer the question. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am your alpha and you’re a werewolf. Don’t make me order you.”

  Her jaw dropped while she spun to face him. “Order me! Have you lost your mind? I should kick your ass for that comment. If you must know, this has been going on for a while. You’ve just had so many things on your mind. I didn’t want to worry you.”

  “Explain what’s been going on and for how long.”

  Damn this was going to be a long night. She kept silent while she rinsed the shampoo out and washed off her body. Only then did she turn her focus back to him.

  “I’m getting out, and if you want to listen, we can do it in bed. This is going to take a while.”

  He didn’t argue. Silently, he followed her out and they both got dressed. When she got in bed, h
e finally opened his mouth.

  Chapter 6

  “Proceed, my dear. I’m dying to find out how long I have until I watch the hardest thing I will ever have to witness you go through.”

  The tone of his voice sent chills down her spine. Surely, it couldn’t be worse than child birth with no medication. That had been the most pain she thought anyone could experience. One she didn’t think she wanted to go through so soon, not without an epidural, anyway.

  “You know I’ve had the cravings since I was pregnant with Demetri, but they stopped after I had him, until two months ago.”

  “Yes, that’s when we took you to the doctor. How often have you been eating the meat since then? Once a week, less than that?”

  Heaviness settled into her stomach. Well, this was it. There was no turning back after she opened her mouth. God, she really hoped she wouldn’t come to regret this.

  “Every night, sometimes twice a night.”

  “No…impossible.” Zachary shook his head, stunned.

  “And the mood swings. I don’t think they’re postpartum depression, Zachary. I have so much anger that I feel like I’m going to go crazy with it. It’s not normal. Maybe some of it might have something to do with hormones, but not all of what’s happening. And the twisting I can feel in my body when the anger becomes unbearable feels like it’s going to break me to pieces. I’m constantly aching.”

  “Stop, Marley.” Zachary stared down at the comforter. Slowly, he looked back up at her. “I’m not even sure you’ll make it past this full moon. Jesus,” he whispered. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have helped you, been there, something.”

  “You have been there for me.”

  Zachary glared at her. “That’s not what I mean, Marley. I’m your husband. You have to let me be one. If you continue to keep things from me, then how am I supposed to take care of you? That’s what husbands do.”

  Seeing him upset, Marley eased her arms around his neck. “I won’t keep anything from you anymore. I promise. But can you tell me one thing?”