by Kelly Utt
Cate finished feeding Niko his breakfast, then helped him wash his face, brush his teeth, and comb his hair. The pair climbed into Cate’s SUV and backed out of the driveway, leaving Mick’s vehicle parked inside. It felt to Cate very strange to be going back to work when Mick was no longer in the world. It felt like a betrayal to get dressed up and head to the office when Mick’s clothes sat unused on hangers in the closet and his vehicle sat unused in the family’s garage. But Cate knew she had to move forward. If not for herself, she needed to do it for the kids. She took a deep breath, closed the garage door, and backed out onto the street. She dropped Niko off at preschool without incident and headed into work.
Her workday began just like any other. The building that housed Vine Country Magazine headquarters was in a historic part of downtown that looked like something you’d see in a TV-movie. There were rows of brick buildings with cobblestone paths out front and ivy meandering up the sides. Business owners had revitalized much of the town, and this particular area had become a hotspot for young professionals and hip foodies. Cate liked working in this environment. It felt fun and a little swanky. Tourists often stopped on trips to visit the wineries. Out of towners especially loved to eat at the little downtown restaurants and even took cooking classes offered by local chefs. Being back in the area after her time spent mourning her husband felt good to Cate. It was a needed distraction from the shambles her life threatened to become.
Cate parked her SUV and got out, appreciating the warm sun on her face and the smell of freshly baked bread coming from an establishment nearby. She began the day with a stop at Brick House Cafe to pick up a breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee. Just like usual, she purchased one for herself and one for Pal, a homeless man who hung around downtown. She’d been buying Pal breakfast sandwiches for months now. In fact, he had probably wondered where she was this past week. Cate hoped he hadn’t gone hungry. Like Mick, Pal was a veteran of the U.S. Navy. He was suffering from PTSD and had gotten down on his luck in his old age. Cate felt a soft spot for him and wanted to do her part to help him out.
As Cate exited the café and turned north to head towards her building, to her relief, there was Pal, sitting on a bench and smiling at her. He was a sight for sore eyes.
“Pal!” Cate said, happy to see him. “I have you your sandwich and your coffee. I hope you haven’t missed me too much. I had a personal matter come up unexpectedly.”
Pal nodded and took the food from Cate’s hands. He held up his coffee cup and tipped it towards her as a gesture of thanks.
“I heard what happened to you,” he said. “I’m sorry.” He mumbled the words as he hastily chewed the sandwich. Cate could tell he was starving.
“Oh?” Cate asked. “What did you hear?”
“Your husband… I heard he was killed. That’s terrible. He was a nice man.”
Pal had met Mick a few times when he had come by Cate’s office to meet her for lunch.
“Yes, thank you,” Cate replied, choking back tears. The tears had caught her off guard. She hadn’t realized the mention of her husband’s name would still cause such an emotional response, here, a full week later.
“I heard he had a proper military funeral, though. Good on him,” Pal said as he sloshed the coffee around in his cup, too thirsty to wait for it to cool.
“He did.” Cate wondered how Pal knew about the funeral. She couldn’t imagine who would have told him. The funeral home and the cemetery are far enough from downtown that he wouldn’t have been able to walk there and see for himself. Someone had to have told him. But who?
“It’s just a shame how it happened,” Pal said. “A real shame.”
Cate wasn’t clear on the particulars of how it had happened. She was beginning to feel uncomfortable. She had always tried to be friendly to Pal, but she didn’t like him knowing intimate details about her husband’s death. Particularly not details that she wasn’t aware of.
“How do you know about this?” Cate asked pointedly.
Pal was finishing his breakfast sandwich now. He wiped crumbs off the corners of his mouth with one glove, still holding the coffee cup in the other. His hand was shaking and Cate wondered if he might be drunk or drugged. It wouldn’t surprise her if Pal had a substance-abuse problem. She had never spoken to him long enough to know if he did. Her skin was beginning to crawl, and she had an uneasy feeling she couldn’t explain. It wasn’t just Pal. Cate suddenly felt like all eyes were on her. She wondered if she was being watched.
“Word gets around when something like this happens,” Pal said.
“Something like what?” Cate asked, beginning to get agitated.
“Like, you know… “
It felt like he was taunting her. Cate began to get frustrated. She wanted to know what Pal knew and where he had heard it. Her body tensed. She began to lean forward as she thought about grabbing the collar of Pal’s wrinkled shirt. She thought about giving him a good shake and forcing him to tell her what he knew. He was old and frail. Cate knew she was stronger than he was. If she grabbed him, he wouldn’t be able to overpower her or gain the upper hand.
Before she could make a move, Cate felt a soft hand on her shoulder. She jumped, startled by the unexpected touch. Her pulse quickened as she slowly turned to see who was there. It was Sasha Lansing, her friend and colleague. Cate was relieved to see Sasha’s friendly face and she let out a burst of air she had been holding.
“Sasha,” Cate said.
“Hey, Cate,” Sasha said cautiously. “What’s happening here?” Sasha looked back-and-forth between Pal, who had started mumbling incoherently, and Cate. “Who is this gentleman?”
Cate couldn’t quite remember whether she had ever told Sasha about her daily habit of buying a breakfast sandwich for Pal.
“This is Pal,” Cate said. “He’s a Navy veteran like Mick was. He got down on his luck and ended up here. For the past few months, I buy myself a breakfast sandwich and a coffee and I buy a second set to give to Pal. It’s no big deal.”
Sasha raised her perfectly manicured eyebrows. She was a pretty woman in her mid-thirties. She had thick black hair that danced around her shoulders. She was a natural beauty. She didn’t have to try very hard, but everything she did to enhance her appearance made a big impact. On this day, she was dressed in a pair of fitted black pants and leather boots that came to her knees. She wore a billowy, long-sleeve blouse with a decorative loose tie around the neck. Cate thought she looked like she could be a real model. She wondered why Sasha hadn’t graced the pages of Vine Country Magazine yet. She had the right look which would represent the town of Rosemary Run well. She would probably entice more tourists to visit. Cate thought perhaps she could use an image of her friend paired with an upcoming article.
It surprised Cate that her thoughts could turn so quickly from grabbing a homeless man and shaking him to which image of her friend might pair well with an upcoming article.
Sasha hesitated before she spoke.
“That sounds lovely,” Cate’s colleague said. “But when I walked up, it looked like something else was going on. Were the two of you having a disagreement?”
“Gosh, no,” Cate said, doing her best to sound calm and collected. “Pal was just telling me he was sorry about what happened. You know, about Mick. Somehow, he heard.”
Sasha looked skeptically at her friend, then back at Pal, who rocked back-and-forth and nodded while continuing to mumble. He appeared to be out of it. Cate wondered if it was an act.
“Are you sure?” Sasha asked. “Because it looked like more heated than what you describe.”
Sasha bit her lower lip and tilted her head to one side. She was thinking.
“I’m sure,” Cate said, taking one of her friend’s arms and ushering her away from Pal and the park bench. “It’s no big deal, really. Let’s head into the office. I’m eager to get back to work.”
At first, Sasha stood stiff and remained in place, resisting Cate’s attempts to move her. She quickly acqui
esced though, giving a final glance at Pal and then walking alongside her friend. Though Cate thought something felt different between them. Sasha was suspicious of her. In all the years they’d been friends, that had never happened before. Cate didn’t like it. She wasn’t sure what had changed.
The two friends walked arm in arm down the block to the building which housed the magazine headquarters. The hand-carved wooden sign hanging out front was a welcome sight for Cate, who was beginning to realize that she craved familiarity. The pair turned, each placing a hand on the knob of one of the glass doors in the entryway. They stepped inside together, in sync, saying hello to Anna Isley, the young receptionist. The lobby was full, brimming with people. Some, Cate knew. Others, she didn’t. Cate still felt uncomfortable as if she were being watched, but she chalked that up to the fact that she was seeing people for the first time since her husband had died. They were probably curious to know how she was doing. Or maybe they didn’t know what to say and we’re afraid they’d choose the wrong thing and upset her.
Cate couldn’t wait to get upstairs and into her private office, away from prying eyes. She wanted to see everyone and to catch up on what she had missed, but she wanted to do it on her own terms without being overwhelmed. In fact, she had already planned the day out in her mind. She would begin by reading the emails she had missed during her week away. She’d turn the monitor on her computer towards the window so she’d have a view of the hills behind the buildings across the street. She loved the fall foliage and thought the display of color would help lift her spirits. Not to mention, she hoped the beautiful scenery might help her forget about the growing list of things she was trying to avoid.
As she walked past the reception desk on her way to the elevators, Anna stopped her.
Oh, no, Cate thought.
She expected the girl to say something awkward about how she was sorry for Cate’s loss. Cate appreciated the sentiment, but wasn’t in the mood. She figured someone so young couldn’t possibly understand what it was like to lose a husband who you’ve built a life with. She looked at Anna, politely awaiting whatever she needed to tell her.
“Cate, welcome back,” Anna said with a smile. She sounded hesitant.
“Thank you,” Cate said with as much sincerity as she could muster. She turned back towards the elevators where Sasha had gone ahead of her and began to walk on.
“Wait,” Anna said. “There’s something else.”
Cate winced, then turned around to face the reception desk once more. She was as ready as she could be for more awkward condolences.
“There is an investigator from the local police department here to see you. Detective Fredericks. He’s sitting right over there,” Anna said, motioning to a front corner of the room.
5
Cate’s heart sank. Her first thought was that something must have happened to one of the kids. Maybe Jilly or Aaron on the bus.
“Is everything okay?” she asked Anna, desperately. She knew she had gone from zero to high alarm too quickly. She couldn’t help it. Not after what she had been through. “Are my kids okay? Did the bus get into an accident?”
“I think they’re fine,” Anna said reassuringly, taking Cate’s hand in her own. It was a kind gesture, one that surprised Cate. She wouldn’t have expected it from someone so young. The thought crossed her mind that maybe she had misjudged Anna. “If he were here to inform you about an accident, I’m pretty sure he’d be wearing a uniform,” she said. “This man is dressed in a suit.”
Anna was in her early twenties. She’d started at the magazine as an unpaid intern last summer right after she graduated from a design college in San Francisco, but when a full-time receptionist job came open, she took it. Anna had met and fell in love with a young man from the area and she wanted to stay in Rosemary Run to see how things turned out between them. Even though she was over-qualified to be a receptionist and was better suited to creating content for the fashion pages, she figured it was a good start and that she’d be able to move up in the company when there was an opportunity. Anna had come from a posh upbringing on Long Island, but she wasn’t conceited. She seemed to have a good head on her shoulders, which was, no doubt, a credit to solid parenting.
Cate took a deep breath and pushed her hair behind one ear. She often played with her hair when she was nervous. It was a self-soothing move. And it worked. She collected herself, at least enough to speak to the detective and to find out what he wanted with her.
“Anna, dear,” Cate began. “You’re very kind. My nerves are frazzled these days. But your steady presence helped me snap back into my right mind. Thank you for that.”
“It’s my pleasure,” Anna replied. “Anything I can do to help.”
“Would you mind letting Sasha know I’ll be delayed coming upstairs?” Cate said as she motioned her head towards her friend, who was waiting down the hall in front of the elevators.
“Of course. I’m on it,” Anna said. She really did seem to want to help. She stepped around the receptionist desk and headed towards Sasha.
Cate turned the other way and steeled herself as she approached Detective Fredericks. She didn’t know him well, but she had met Neil Fredericks before. In a town as small as Rosemary Run, you knew everyone on the force. Especially when your brother was a police officer. Besides, Neil was tall and handsome. He wasn’t the kind of man Cate could easily forget. He was a few years older than her. About James’ age. Neil didn’t grow up in Rosemary Run, but he had moved to town not long after Cate had left. From what she understood, he was a good cop and a good guy. He treated people well. He was reasonable. And fair.
Neil stood when he saw Cate coming and he straightened his belt. Cate noticed the handgun fastened securely in its holster at his side. She was used to seeing her brother in his uniform, but James usually left his gun in the car when he came to see her and the kids. The weapon felt dangerous on Neil now. Beads of perspiration collected around her temples. The weather outside was cool, and the lobby was a comfortable temperature. She was sweating because she was nervous.
“Hello, Cate,” Neil said as he reached his hand out to shake hers.
“Hello to you, too,” she replied. “Neil, right?” She was being coy. She knew his name.
“You remembered!” he said.
“I did.”
She didn’t mention that his good looks would have been impossible to forget. Come to think of it, he looked quite a lot like her Mick. If she had a type, Neil would be it. Cate felt a pang of guilt thinking about another man this way. She was nowhere near ready to think about dating. She didn’t know if she ever would be. But then again, she found herself wondering if Neil was single.
“Is there someplace private we can talk?” Neil asked.
“Sure,” Cate said. “I’ve been out of work for the past week. This is my first day back. I need to check with my boss and let her know where I am. Can you wait for me a few minutes?”
“No worries,” Neil said. “I’m sorry for the inconvenience on your first day back to work. I would have come to your house, but I didn’t want to scare your kids.”
“I appreciate that,” Cate said. “They’ve been through enough. Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”
“I’ll be here,” Neil replied.
Cate left the lobby and went directly to the women’s restroom on the other side of the reception desk. She texted her boss, Laura Keller, to let her know that she’d be late getting to her desk. Then Cate stood in front of the mirror and contemplated whether or not she should freshen up her makeup. It was silly. Her emotions were all over the place. But something made her decide that looking her best was important. She applied a fresh coat of red lipstick and powdered her nose. When she received a text back from Laura confirming receipt of her message, she returned to the lobby to face Neil again. She was ready to find out what he was there to tell her. By this time, she figured it was nothing serious. If the matter had been urgent, Neil would have told her right away. His tone wa
s casual and friendly.
When she reached the area where Neil was waiting, Cate found that a second officer was there, too. This one, she definitely knew. It was James. He had his hands on his hips and he was talking to Neil with a look of concern. He stopped and tried to act casual once he saw his sister approaching.
“What are you doing here, big brother?” Cate asked as she hugged James from the side.
“I was just passing by and saw Neil’s patrol car, so thought I’d stop in and see what he was up to.” James narrowed his eyes at Neil, as if there was more to the story.
“And you found me,” Neil said, sounding somewhat irritated. Cate got the idea that James and Neil were at odds about something.
“We can use the conference room right over there,” Cate said, pointing. “Will you be joining us, James?”
James rumpled his lips and stared off to one side for a moment.
“You know what? That’s alright,” he said, looking at Neil. “I’ll leave Detective Fredericks to it.”
James hugged his sister again and walked out the front of the building. Once he was gone, Neil followed Cate into a conference room and shut the door. They sat down beside each other at a large round table. Cate felt small in the big room with its big table. Having Neil sitting beside her helped. When they were situated she turned towards him, waiting to hear what he had to say.
“What do I owe the pleasure of this visit?” Cate asked. Anna had successfully eased her fears about something being wrong with the kids. Cate didn’t know what she was about to hear, but she didn’t think it would be anything serious.
“I have a few questions for you, that’s all,” Neil said. His voice was low and smooth.