by Kelly Utt
“Yes, Aaron, I would,” Nancy replied. Her voice was scratchy. Too many years of chain-smoking cigarettes had given her a husky voice Cate thought could never quite return to normal.
Aaron cleared off the coffee table and went to get the playing cards from his room. Nancy scooted an armchair up close and leaned over, ready to play. It looked like a normal interaction between a grandparent and her grandson, but Cate was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Having Nancy here made her tense. Cate absentmindedly twirled and pulled at small sections of her hair as she sat on the sofa nearby. She thought to herself that if she could just get through this evening, life would move on. She’d go back to work and the kids would go back to school. It would be difficult and horrible to move forward without Mick, however, right now the thought of a daily routine made Cate feel hopeful.
“It’s very kind of you to ask your grandmother to play cards,” Al said to Aaron with a smile as the boy returned to the living room, cards in hand. “She seems rough, but inside that harsh exterior is a woman who has feelings just like the rest of us. She cares about you kids. This means a lot to her.”
Cate tried not to roll her eyes.
Nancy sat up straight and bristled at Al’s words. She appeared to be doing her best to hold her frustrations in.
Aaron smiled, innocently, and nodded his head. He said nothing because he didn’t know exactly what to say. He was still an awkward teenage boy.
“Maybe when we’re done playing cards, we can watch a movie in the den, too,” Aaron said eagerly. He was trying to extend a welcome to his grandmother and to extend what he thought would be fun. Cate wasn’t so sure she wanted the old woman to be around that late into the evening. Cate glanced at her brother, who could tell what she was thinking.
“I’m not sure there will be enough time for that this evening, buddy,” James said to his nephew so his sister didn’t have to. “Maybe another time.”
“That’s right,” Cate echoed. “We need to get to bed. We’ve all had a long day. Besides, I thought you wanted to go back to school in the morning.”
“I did,” Aaron confirmed. “But if Grandma and Al can stay, maybe I’ll skip one more day. They could come back to our house tomorrow.”
Cate’s stomach tightened at the thought of it. She wanted to get rid of them and fast, before Aaron got too attached. Nancy was best kept at a distance. The Brady family’s lives were complicated enough right now. Cate knew they didn’t need anything further.
Al saw the look on Cate’s face and, mercifully, stepped in.
“Aaron, that sounds like a great idea, but unfortunately, I have to get back to work in Oklahoma right away. Our flight leaves tomorrow. Like your Uncle James said, maybe some other time.”
Nancy was stewing. Cate recognized the look on her face. She was like a pressure cooker with intensity increasing by the second. She was about to blow. And in record time, too. It usually took her a few more hours before she reached peak pressure levels.
“Enough!” Nancy exclaimed, slinging her hand down hard on the coffee table and making everyone jump. “You need not talk about me like I’m not here.”
“Come on,” Al said, leaning forward and placing one hand on his wife’s back. “That’s not what’s happening. Take it easy.”
“Yeah?” Nancy replied. “How would you describe it then? It’s obvious Cate doesn’t like me. She never has. And now she’s turned my grandchildren against me. It’s a damn shame.”
“Nancy, stop it…” Al pleaded.
“Don’t try and stop me,” Nancy continued, her face narrowing up into a twisted ball of anger and pain.
“Hey, hey,” James interjected, raising an arm and reaching out for his sister from across the room. He was protective of her and it showed. Cate appreciated the gesture. “Let’s not get carried away. This isn’t the time or the place to rehash old wounds. The kids are listening.”
“Good,” Nancy said, rearing up in her chair. Cate thought she looked a lot like a snake coiled up and ready to pounce. “Let them listen. They should know the truth. I’ve been banished from their lives because their mother doesn’t like me. That’s not right, and it’s not fair. I did nothing to her. I’ve been treated horribly.”
Cate stood up and, without saying a word, scooped Niko into her arms. Her mind raced as she thought about how to handle the situation. First, she had to get her kids out of the room. They really didn’t need this. She walked over to where Jilly was sitting and placed one hand on her shoulder.
“Come with me, sweet pea,” Cate said to her daughter. “Let’s go into the kitchen and get plates and cups ready for when the pizza arrives. Aaron, will you help us, please?”
Jilly wanted to get away from the uncomfortable situation, so she hopped up immediately and went to the kitchen as her mother asked. Aaron, however, was feeling protective of his grandmother and didn’t want to be sent out of the room like a kid. He felt more grown-up now that his dad was gone. Cate hadn’t said it to him, but he had heard somewhere that he should be the man of the house. He was taking his new role seriously.
“I’ll stay here,” Aaron said to his mom.
“What’s wrong, Cate?” Nancy asked with a smirk on her face. “Is he finally too old for you to micromanage and control?”
Cate didn’t respond to Nancy’s insult. Instead, she gave her son a look that let him know he had better move right away. He responded appropriately, begrudgingly walking into the kitchen to join his sister. Cate followed with Niko and provided instructions for what each of her kids could do to help.
When she returned to the living room, Cate was ready to throw Nancy and Al out of the house. She didn’t care how sad or exhausted she was. She would find the strength to rally. She would not let her kids get mixed up in Nancy’s dysfunctional drama.
Al looked apologetic, like he wished he could somehow compel Nancy to act right.
“I’m sorry, Cate,” Al said. “We don’t want to cause any trouble. Especially not today.”
Cate nodded and smiled kindly at him. She knew he wasn’t to blame. Al truly was a good man.
The camaraderie between Cate and Al only angered Nancy further. She stood up, both arms hanging stiff at her sides. She furrowed her brow and narrowed her eyes so much that Cate thought the old woman could hardly see while wearing the expression. Nancy’s wrinkled skin turned red as the blood pumped along with the anger.
“I will tell them, Al,” she said to her husband, fuming.
Al stood up and stepped close near Nancy’s side. He placed his hand on her back again. He was trying to anchor her. Trying to give her a reason to slow down and think things through before she spoke.
“I’m serious, Al,” Nancy confirmed. “Don’t stop me. This woman needs to know the truth about her sham of a picture-perfect life. She’s so smug and self-righteous. It’s time I put an end to that.”
Al shook his head. It seemed he felt powerless to do anything. Perhaps he was.
Cate didn’t appreciate being talked about in this way. She thought everything Nancy was saying was nonsense. She was ready to open her mouth and tell Nancy to leave when her mother-in-law spoke words that would change her life.
Nancy turned, facing Cate. She put her hands on her hips and leaned back, a cool smile covering her face.
“Didn’t Mick tell you?” Nancy began.
“Tell me what?” Cate said, responding to Nancy’s baiting for the first time.
Nancy chuckled. “Where do you think he got the money to start his business and to pay for this house?”
Cate couldn’t hide the look of shock on her face.
“What?” Nancy continued. “You thought a naval officer earned enough to pay for all of this? If you did, you were sorely mistaken.“
“Nancy, please…” Al implored.
“That money came from me,” Nancy said, satisfied with herself. “I have the promissory notes to prove it. I did my son a favor. And I think I just might call it in and request immediate rep
ayment. My son isn’t here to benefit from the money I loaned him anymore. Why should you keep it?”
“What are you talking about?” Cate asked. “Mick told me an investor gave him the money to start his business. Are you saying…?”
“That’s right,” Nancy said, looking pleased with herself. “It was yours truly.”
Cate reached out a hand and grabbed the back of the sofa to steady herself. Dozens of thoughts began swimming through her mind, most of all, she began to fear that she and her children might be placed in a predicament in which they were either beholden to Nancy and subject to her whims or they would have to move out of their home and give up the lifestyle they had become accustomed to. She wondered how Mick could do this to her. She wondered why he hadn’t told her the truth.
“I was not aware of this,” Cate managed.
“Oh, I know you weren’t,” Nancy continued.
“But,” Cate continued. “We bought this house with our savings. The down payment was made out of our joint checking account. I was there. I saw it for myself.”
“Nancy,” Al tried again. “You’ve done enough. Let it rest, I beg you.”
“You really are clueless, aren’t you?” Nancy asked. “I don’t know exactly how, but Mick got involved in something and lost your money. He came to me with his tail between his legs and asked me to replace it. The debt is to me.”
James began to get angry. He stood up and walked near his sister, then put one arm around her. “Look,” he said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I know this isn’t the time. Truly, Nancy, it isn’t the time. We had better call it a night. Where are you two staying? Can I see you back to your hotel?”
Cate was glad James said it so she didn’t have to. This day needed to end. She needed time to absorb this new unexpected shock on the heels of the unexpected shock of her husband’s death. She didn’t know where to begin, but she knew that Nancy needed to leave immediately.
“Yes, goodnight, Al and Nancy,” Cate said. She could hear in her own voice that she sounded cold and unemotional. It was all she could manage. She smiled her best phony smile, then turned and walked into the kitchen to join her kids as James ushered her in-laws out the front door. She didn’t care if they thought her impolite.
As Cate sat down at the kitchen table, the sun had set and the last glimmer of daylight was lingering low in the sky. She was relieved to be in a room alone with just her kids. And she was relieved that her brother was stepping in to take care of her. She could finally breathe easy for a minute. After all, minute to minute was as much as she could focus on making it through.
Suddenly, there was a loud banging from the back porch as two metal trash cans fell and rolled around. It sounded like too much noise to have been an animal. It sounded like a person was out there. Meesha heard it, too. She ran to the back door, placing her front paws up so she could stand and look out the window. The dog began to bark furiously.
“Mommy, I’m scared,” Jilly said as she raced to her mother's side and wrapped her arms tightly around her waist.
“Me, too,” Niko echoed, running to Cate’s other side.
Cate looked at Aaron and made eye contact. They both knew that the sound they heard was too big to have been an animal, but they silently agreed to not let the littler kids in on that reality.
“Don’t worry,” Cate said, wrapping her arms around her youngest children. “We have raccoons sometimes. And there are stray cats in the neighborhood. It was probably one or the other climbing on top of the trash cans and trying to get an evening meal. It’s nothing to be concerned about.”
“Yeah,” Aaron said, trying to help out. “No big deal. I agree with Mom.”
Again, suddenly, Cate thought she heard footsteps outside. It sounded like someone was running down from the porch and out of the backyard. From the look on Aaron’s face, he had heard it, too. He was mature for his age, but he was still just a kid. Cate didn’t want to force him into adult responsibilities before he was ready. She didn’t want him to have to worry about Nancy or the sounds in the backyard. Getting over his father’s death would be quite enough of a task for the boy.
Cate glanced at the lock on the back door. The knob was turned, indicating that the door was, in fact, locked securely. The motion sensor light had turned on, so she decided they were probably safe for now. She decided that her children’s peace of mind was more important than alarming them with a dramatic search scene, so she moved on, alerting no one to what might be happening in the backyard. She would tell her brother later, once Nancy was long gone and the kids were in bed.
If Cate was being honest with herself, she was scared, too. But she knew she’d have to get over that. She was the only adult left in the family and she had to be strong for her kids. She’d had plenty of practice during all those months that Mick was away at sea. She thought to herself how much she had become spoiled with him being home every night. The past year had been so much easier than the ones prior. If Mick had still been alive, he would have gone out back and checked on the noise so Cate didn’t have to. He’d had a calm, easy-going demeanor that made everyone around him feel secure. It’s why he’d made a good officer in the Navy and it’s why he’d made a good husband and a good dad.
“Our pizza should be here any minute,” Cate said to her kids. “Sit down at the big table in the dining room.”
“Are Grandma and Al staying to eat with us?” Aaron asked.
“No, not tonight,” Cate said. “Grandma Nancy and Al had to go. Your uncle James is seeing them out.”
Aaron sighed with disappointment. Cate felt bad for her son, but she had limited energy to spend on any one thing. There was a lot for her to juggle. She had to sort things out in her own mind before she let her children get entangled.
Nancy and Al left the house. The kids ate their pizza and went to bed. Then Cate, James, and Rebecca had a good conversation before the Tatums headed home for the night.
Cate decided not to share all of her concerns with Rebecca, so she told her brother only the basics that night. They discussed Nancy and the possibility that what she was saying about Mick having borrowed money was true. But Cate didn’t mention the figure in the distance at the cemetery or the banging noise and the footsteps in the backyard. That would have to wait for another day. She figured she’d give her brother a call when he was at work. Maybe the two of them could meet privately and she could tell him everything. Or maybe, she wouldn’t tell James anything at all. Maybe she would just forget that these upsetting things had ever happened. Cate liked that idea. She could forget about the figure in the tree line at the cemetery. She could forget about the noise in the footsteps in the backyard. And she could forget about Nancy and her outrageous claims. Wouldn’t that be nice?
Finally, Cate climbed into her big bed. She was tired and wanted nothing more than to get a good night’s sleep. Meesha climbed onto Mick’s side where she usually slept, down by his feet. Even though Cate had a million things to think about, she told herself that she needed rest to handle them properly. Although she awoke frequently and tossed and turned, she got some much-needed sleep.
4
It turned out to be an entire week before Cate returned to work and the kids returned to school. They had underestimated how hard it would be to get back to a new normal. There had been days where they had all gotten dressed and planned to head out the door, but then something would remind them of Mick and their old life and they’d decide they just weren’t ready.
Their opinions were divided regarding what to do with Mick’s things. Cate had thought about giving his clothes to charity just to get them out of the house and out of sight. It was too painful each time she opened her closet and saw her husband’s clothes hanging there, unworn, on the hangers. She had thought she might keep a few special things for herself, like his blue flannel shirt she liked to wear in the winter when it got too cold in the house. Or his soft U.S. Navy sweatshirt she sometimes threw on to run errands around town on a
Saturday morning. She had figured she would keep some things for the kids, too. But she could pack those away or move them to their rooms. She felt like she had to do something to keep from becoming overwhelmed with sadness every time she walked into her dressing room and closet.
Aaron didn’t want to give anything up. He wanted to keep his father’s closet exactly as it was. Maybe he was in denial about his dad being gone. Maybe, by keeping Mick’s closet exactly as it was the morning he left it, Aaron could feel like his father would return someday. Cate understood, but she wasn’t sure it was healthy.
Niko was too young to have a strong opinion, but he tended to agree with Aaron. He wanted everything left alone. He just wanted his daddy to come back home.
Jilly, ever the creative child, had other ideas. She’d heard a story at school about a lady in town who made quilts out of special fabric. Jilly desperately wanted some of Mick’s clothes to be used that way. Cate thought it was a good idea. At least it would get the items moved and transitioned into a form from which they could be better appreciated and utilized.
But all of those concerns and plans could wait, because, on this day, Cate and her kids were finally going back to work and school. They had discussed it and come up with a new routine. Although Jilly and Aaron used to ride to school with their dad, they agreed that the best thing to do now would be to take the bus. The bus stop was only a few houses down from theirs and some of their friends rode every day, so the plan made sense. Niko’s preschool was on the way to Cate’s office, so she decided to continue dropping him off and picking him up like before. Ellen and Ron had offered to help with the kids’ logistics, but Cate thought it best if she handled things on her own. She didn’t want to become overly dependent on her extended family. She was a capable adult. She figured she had better act like one. She knew that her kids were watching her every move.
The leaves had begun to change and their golden hues sparkled in the sun on this cool autumn morning. Jilly and Aaron seemed a little nervous about their new bus ride, but they wanted to do their part to help their mom. They put on their best game faces as they walked out the front door. Cate kissed her children’s cheeks and hugged their necks, then they walked purposefully down the front steps, over the driveway, and along the sidewalk up the hill to wait at the bus stop.