by Kelly Utt
“It’s okay,” Sabine said, stroking Amelie’s soft hair as she talked. “We will figure this out.”
Ryan and Sabine watched Marcheline as she continued to peer out the window.
“Mom, what are you looking for?”
“I have to stand guard,” Marcheline he said. “To make sure Ryan wasn’t followed. And… I’m waiting on a truck. We will switch vehicles before we head further south.”
Ryan and Sabine looked at each other skeptically.
“Where are we going?” Sabine asked. “I’m somewhat familiar with this area since I went to college at UNLV. There isn’t much south of us. Phoenix, maybe? That’s southeast.”
“Good question,” Ryan added.
Marcheline closed the shades and sat down on the side of her bed. “I’ll tell you. But first, Ryan, I need to know where you stand. Sabine and Amelie can’t go back to Rosemary Run. At least not right now. And now that you’ve disappeared, it’s not wise for you to go back either. Are you willing to journey with us?”
Ryan looked thoughtful. “I’ll do anything for my family. For Sabine and Amelie, and also for you, Marcheline, if you’re really in trouble. But I want to know what’s going on.”
“And I’ll tell you, in good time. Today, even!” Marcheline explained. “First, we need to get the truck and we need to leave both of our vehicles here. Rande connected me with a friend of his who is helping us make the exchange without being detected. The truck should be delivered shortly. When it gets here, we have to get in and go.”
“How long will we be away?” Ryan asked. “Am I going to lose my job over this?”
Marcheline took a breath. “Ryan, my darling, you’re not understanding the gravity of what’s happening here. When we go, it will be with new identities. It’s too dangerous otherwise. When we go, we’re leaving our old lives behind.”
“That’s crazy,” Ryan said, too fast to stop himself. “And it seems completely unnecessary.”
“It is necessary,” Marcheline said emphatically. “I promise you it is.”
Ryan was quiet and seemed like he was holding something back.
“Say what you have to say,” Marcheline assured. “I don’t blame you for being mad. Or skeptical.”
“I wouldn’t say I’m mad,” Ryan clarified. “I was mad when I first heard, but I’ve been driving all night and have had time to think more. Also, hearing you tell me that there’s something more going on and having Sabine confirm it… I guess the mad is wearing off. But respectfully, Marcheline, I’m not sure you grasp the significance of taking my wife and child. You haven’t been married. Have you? Because I don’t think you get what that bond is and what it means.”
This brought a tear to Marcheline’s eye. Ryan was right, but he was wrong at the same time.
“I come from a loving home with two parents who have been married for most of their lives,” Marcheline explained.
“Wait. You have parents?” Ryan asked. “Why haven’t we met them? Amelie should know her great-grandparents.”
“I didn’t know either,” Sabine inserted. “I should know my grandparents.”
“Yes, I have parents,” Marcheline said. “And I promise I’ll fill you in as we drive.”
Ryan sighed again. “I feel like we’re talking in circles here,” he said. He was a practical guy. He liked to get right down to business. It was part of what Sabine loved about him. He took action when others hesitated. He was a doer. “Marcheline, can you give me a straight answer, please? Where are we going when we leave here today?”
Marcheline leaned forward on her bed, matching Ryan’s intensity. “I’ll tell you as soon as you give me a straight answer. Are you with us? Are you ready to walk away from life as you know it and start a new life and a new identity, with us?”
Ryan leaned back and put one hand on top of his head, exasperated. “Marcheline, do you hear yourself? You sound insane. I mean it. This is insane.”
Without skipping a beat, Marcheline realized it was time to be blunt. “I accused him of rape. He didn’t do it. But now he’s serving time in prison. If he finds out I have a daughter, he might think she’s his and people will come after us.”
“Holy shit!” Ryan replied.
Sabine sat up in the bed, eager to know more. “Is it Chester?” she asked. “So you’re saying Chester is my father?”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Marcheline replied. “But people will come after us. They’ll come after you, Sabine! And the baby.”
“People meaning Chester? And what’s so bad if he does?” Ryan asked. “We can deal with that. There’s no reason to run. There’s definitely no reason to change our identities over it. Families deal with questions of paternity all the time. No big deal.”
“There’s more to it,” Marcheline continued. “I was forced to say it was him. I was boxed in and had no choice. You’ve got to remember, Ryan, I was nineteen years old. I got into a bad way and a lot of things happened to me I’ve never spoken of. This is just one part of that puzzle.”
Marcheline heard an engine outside, so she stepped to the window and peeked out.
“Our truck is here. We have to go.”
“Is there really such a hurry?” Ryan said. “We’re finally getting somewhere. Let’s stay and talk a little more, and we will sort this out.”
Marcheline looked at Ryan and mustered all the determination she had. “I’ve said enough. I’m leaving, and my daughter and my granddaughter go with me. I will keep them safe and will protect them with my life. I promise you that. If you want to come with us, then get in the car. But this is the last chance, Ryan. Once we go, we’re gone.”
Ryan looked at Sabine in disbelief. “Are you hearing this?” he asked her. “You’re my wife, Sabine. Amelie is my child.”
“Then get in the truck,” Sabine said. Then she quickly washed herself and the baby, gathered her belongings, and followed Marcheline out the door.
18
Bill had managed to remain undetected, and he was pleased with himself. But he was getting tired. He quickly urinated in a grassy area while keeping his eyes on the hotel room and on Ryan’s vehicle.
Bill was a planner. He was always prepared, and he kept granola bars and peanuts in every car he drove in case of a scenario exactly like this one. Luckily, he had picked some snacks up at the airport to stock his rental car with. He didn’t have time to go into the truck stop now, because he would risk losing Ryan and family if he did.
He watched as Marcheline, Sabine, and Ryan loaded their things into the red and white Bronco and abandoned their other vehicles. When they pulled out of the motel and onto the interstate, he followed closely behind. Like Ryan, he, too, had survived the night by downing energy drinks. He popped another one open, telling himself it would all be worth it once he solved this mystery and, hopefully, restored his client’s good name.
19
The day was growing bright and warm as Marcheline drove the Bronco southeast, deeper into Arizona. In some places, the topography looked similar to their home in California. In others, it was different enough to feel completely foreign. Much of the landscape they passed was desert. It was barren, but with a beauty all its own.
Marcheline thought the desert had a spiritual quality to it. For some reason she couldn’t identify, it felt like she was on a quest to find herself. Even though it seemed counterintuitive given the reality of her circumstances, she began to think that perhaps the desert would somehow bring her peace.
Sabine rode in the passenger seat and Ryan rode in the backseat next to Amelie. They planned to trade back-and-forth when Sabine needed to breast-feed the baby. Ryan remained mostly quiet, and his silence caused Marcheline concern. She knew he was a smart guy and figured he was formulating a plan. It wouldn’t have been like Ryan to go along with things blindly. He was the type who needed to see and know for himself before he could get on board.
They stopped for a late breakfast in the outskirts of Phoenix. It was fast food again, me
at and biscuits this time. They went in and out quickly, careful not to spend too much time at any one place. They did their bathrooming, got their food, and got back on the road. Marcheline was eager to get to Tucson so they could get situated somewhere and get the baby out of the truck. It had been a lot of hours on the road, which was especially taxing for a baby. Amelie had impressed them all with how cooperative she’d been, but it wasn’t fair to her. She needed room to stretch and crawl. She also needed a change of scenery.
As they passed through Phoenix and their surroundings became more and more desolate, Ryan broached the topic of Marcheline’s past once more. They all knew they were nearing their destination and there were more questions that needed answers. Ryan was tactful in his approach, which Marcheline appreciated. She knew this was all her fault and she didn’t take that lightly. Sabine tried to remain neutral, not taking one side over another.
“Mom?” Sabine began. She knew her husband was ready to talk. She wanted to be in on the conversation. “We’re getting close to Tucson. Please tell us what’s there. Why Tucson, of all places?”
“Yes, my darling,” Marcheline replied. “I have more to explain. I know that. Thank you for being patient with me.”
“We love you, Mom,” Sabine said. “We really will get through this... Together.”
Marcheline nodded. “Good. Tucson is where an old college friend of mine lives. His name is Guillermo Martinez. He promised me many years ago that if I ever needed to get away, he would provide me a safe place to regroup and start over.”
“Does he know we’re coming?” Ryan asked.
“No,” Marcheline replied. “He doesn’t. But he’s the kind of friend… Well, we had the kind of arrangement... It’s good anytime I show up.”
“And does he know… Your story?” Sabine asked.
“He knows enough. The same as Rande. They don’t know all the details, but they’re privy to the most important ones. Guillermo knows the stakes. He has family across the border in Nogales, Mexico. If we can’t stay in Tucson, he can get us across with a place to stay.”
“My God,” Ryan said. “Now we’re talking about Mexico? That’s even more intense.” He was choosing his words carefully and trying to hold himself back. He didn’t want to insult Marcheline.
“That might be what we need,” Marcheline explained.
“Okay, so let me get this straight,” Ryan continued. “We will show up at Guillermo’s door. And you haven’t seen him since college. But we will tell him we need safe passage to Mexico and new identities?”
“Pretty much, yes,” Marcheline replied. “But hopefully, we can stay in Tucson or another U.S. city with our new identities. I don’t intend to go to Mexico unless absolutely necessary.”
“Mom,” Sabine said. “Tell him your real name.”
“Your real name?” Ryan asked. “What are you, in the witness protection program or something?”
Marcheline gripped the steering wheel again as she drove. The tension was rising. “Not exactly,” she answered. “Or, I guess I should say, not officially.”
“And what exactly does that mean?” Ryan asked. “Maybe you could just tell us instead of making us guess?”
“It means that I’m not officially in a witness protection program. But essentially, I created one for myself.”
“And what made you do such a thing? Other than having falsely accused a man of rape. I can see how that would make you a few enemies.”
“Stop it,” Sabine said as she reached into the backseat and shoved her husband, her hand landing on his knee. “Easy.”
“And like I told you,” Marcheline said. “There’s more to that story. I don’t mean to sound melodramatic, but it’s very difficult for me to talk about. So difficult, in fact, that I’ve never told another soul that part.”
Sabine looked at her mom. “Do you want to pull over?” she asked. “Maybe you shouldn’t be driving when you tell it.”
Marcheline looked back at her daughter. Sabine was good to her mom. “That’s very kind of you, and it’s a great idea. There is a wide edge on the side of the road leading to open desert. I can pull over there.”
At the next opportunity, Marcheline slowed the truck down and pulled off to the side. She left the engine running, but turned around in her seat to face both Ryan and Sabine. The heat from the sun felt warm coming through the windows, but not too warm to be uncomfortable.
“Go ahead, Mom,” Sabine said. “You can tell us anything.”
“Yeah, you can,” Ryan said, although somewhat reluctantly.
Marcheline could tell Ryan was still strategizing. She thought he had probably gotten into the Bronco because he intended to solve this problem for her. He didn’t seem to realize it was a problem that couldn’t be solved.
Taking it slow, Marcheline filled Ryan in on what she had told Sabine the day before. She explained how she had come over from France with her parents when she was a toddler, and how her mom and dad were gone much of the time working hard at their bakery. She told him about getting involved with Chester and how she had always felt like an oddball in her school and neighborhood, how she didn’t quite fit in.
“I never would have guessed,” Ryan said when his mother-in-law was done. “Sabine, you didn’t know any of that, did you?”
“No!” Sabine replied. “I didn’t know Mom had lived in Illinois or that she had living parents. It was always a big mystery she didn’t want to talk about.”
“So, I suppose you’ll want to hear why I would accuse Chester of... Raping me... When he didn’t do it.”
“Well, yes,” Ryan said. “It’s a pretty bad thing to do to a man. And you think he’s serving prison time for the rape?”
“That, I’m not sure about,” Marcheline said. “I’ve tried to keep up on the Internet, but I can’t just search from my own computers. I have to drive to another county and go into a library to use theirs. I try not to do it often. I’ve been careful to avoid anything that could be traced back to me.”
“Yeah,” Ryan agreed.
“And you have to realize,” Marceline continued. “Back when all this happened, the Internet wasn’t really a thing. There was some Internet, but it wasn’t all over like it is now. It was twenty-six years ago. Most people didn’t have computers or if they did, it was just a word processor. When my rape accusation would have been investigated, tried, and possibly convicted, the case might not have been searchable on the Internet. Chester was from a bad part of town and people in his neighborhood were convicted of crimes all the time. My accusation wouldn’t have made the news. It wouldn’t have even been considered newsworthy because it was such a common occurrence in that part of Chicago.”
“That’s terrible, Mom,” Sabine said. “I’m sorry you were involved in a situation like that. In a place like that.”
“Thank you, my darling. But Chester was a good guy. That’s why I wrote the letter to him. When you were a baby, Sabine, and I was in college, I was overwhelmed with guilt for what I’d done. It was all I could do to keep myself from confessing and going back to Chicago to turn myself in and take my punishment. But you were a baby and staying away… Staying hidden... Was the only way I could protect you.”
“What about your parents?” Ryan asked. “Could they have helped with Sabine? I don’t mean to sound like I’m complaining, because if they had, she and I probably wouldn’t have met. So in a way, I’m grateful for that twist of fate and for your decision way back then.”
Sabine gave her husband a knowing smile.
“And that leads me to the part that is so hard to say,” Marcheline replied. “It makes me short of breath just thinking about it.”
“It’s okay,” Sabine reassured, first placing her hand on her mother’s shoulder, then leaning over for a hug. “You can tell us.”
Marcheline stared out at the desert landscape around them. It almost felt like they were in a different world entirely. She didn’t consider herself a religious person, but the spirituality of th
e desert was palpable and she wanted to tap into whatever strength she could as she spoke her truth. She closed her eyes and tilted her head back. Then she said a silent prayer to the powers that be for strength and clarity as she formed the words she had been holding in for more than half of her life.
“When I was a kid, we had a family friend who lived next-door. His name was Huey Moreau. He was so close to my parents that they deemed him an honorary uncle to me. So, I grew up knowing him as Uncle Huey.”
“Okay,” Sabine said, listening carefully.
“Uncle Huey,” Marcheline continued. “He was French, too, having moved from Paris just a few years after we did. I guess my parents were eager to feel a sense of home in America. Perhaps they were too trusting for that reason alone. I don’t know. But Uncle Huey… He…” Marcheline got choked up and had a hard time going on. “When I was just six years old, Huey began… Climbing into bed with me.”
“Oh, Mom,” Sabine said, tears forming in her eyes.
“My parents used to let him babysit me in the evenings. We’d all eat dinner together, but then my mom and dad would have to go back to the bakery to prep for the next morning. Huey owned a jewelry store, so there wasn’t any night work involved. He was free in the evenings. My parents didn’t know what was happening. They thought I was safe and that Uncle Huey was a good guy. But he was touching me and forcing me to touch him.”
“That’s terrible,” Ryan said, his tone gentler than before.
“It’s awful,” Sabine echoed.
Marcheline glanced out the windows at the desert landscape again. It was anchoring her. “By the time I was thirteen,” she continued. “He was giving me alcohol and marijuana. And having sex with me. He had a fishing cabin north of Evanston near the lake, and that’s where the worst of the abuse took place. It was isolated up there. There was no one around to hear me cry. Or scream.”
“My God…” Ryan mumbled. The car was silent as the weight settled over everyone. Amelie sensed the mood of the adults.