by Kelly Utt
“I thought it was my fault,” Marcheline said. “At age thirteen, you’re not equipped to understand that you’ve been taken advantage of. Uncle Huey would have his way with me, then he would tell me I had asked for it and that I wanted it. He told me I was a slut and that my parents would disown me if they knew how I had seduced him.”
Sabine bit her lip as she tried to hold back tears. “Did you ever tell your parents?”
“Never. I didn’t want to disappoint them. But even more importantly, I didn’t want them harmed.”
“What do you mean?” Sabine asked.
“Uncle Huey’s jewelry store was a front. He was affiliated with organized crime.”
“The mob?” Sabine asked.
“Yes,” Marcheline confirmed. “Huey told me that if I ever breathed a word about our… Encounters… He’d put a hit out on my parents and have them killed. And I believed he could really do it. I saw the businessmen who would come and go from his store. They were up to no good. They looked mean and scary. Worse than what mob characters look like on TV.”
“Mom, that’s so, so bad. It’s heartbreaking.”
“When I got involved with Chester, I did it because I thought he might protect me from Huey. I’m not sure I was thinking rationally back then. I was a kid. And I was an abused kid. But looking back, I know that was part of my motivation. Chester was a thug, basically. But as I said, he had a good heart. He was a good person who was wrapped up in thug culture because of where he lived. When we met and I started hanging out with him, he gave me an excuse to go somewhere that Huey wouldn’t follow. It gave me a reprieve from Huey’s abuse and unwanted advances, even if only for a few hours a day.”
“Wow,” Ryan said.
“When I became pregnant, I was dating Chester and having intimate relations with him, and also being raped by Huey. All unprotected, sadly. The honest truth of it, Sabine, is that I don’t know which of the two men is your father. Neither one is the kind of father you deserve. And I’m so sorry for that. It’s the biggest regret of my life. I’ve spent every day since doing my best to make it up to you. I hope you can see that.”
Sabine sat stunned, unable to find words.
“Marcheline, we appreciate your honesty,” Ryan said softly. “That must have been really hard for you.”
Ryan put one hand on Marcheline shoulder and the other hand on his wife’s.
“It was excruciating,” Marcheline continued. “When I began to show towards the end of my first trimester, Huey noticed. He saw… When he would... Rape me. I had no way to hide my growing belly from him. I was completely vulnerable.”
“No,” Ryan said. “Marcheline, this keeps getting worse. I’m so sorry.”
Marcheline’s body heaved as tears made their way out. She tried to hold them in, but there was no stopping the flood. Ryan’s kindness was more than she expected. His simple acknowledgment of her pain filled a void that had been waiting for many years.
“When you’re ready, go ahead,” he added. “We’re here for you, Marcheline.”
Marcheline took a moment to collect herself, then continued. “One night, when we were at Huey’s fishing cabin and he noticed that I was pregnant, he… He beat me. Worse than ever before. He flew into a rage. He began by taking the belt out of his pants and lashing me with it as he chased me around the cabin.”
“Oh God,” Ryan mumbled.
“I ran from him,” Marcheline continued. It was cold and I didn’t have shoes on, but I ran outside. I ran towards the lake, dodging trees and cutting my feet on branches and rocks as I fumbled around in the darkness. I was in such pain, and I feared for my life. I ran down towards the lake, and in a flash, I suddenly considered drowning myself.”
“Mom!” Sabine said, her first words in a while. “You were pregnant with me. You would have drowned me, too.”
“My darling, Sabine,” Marcheline he said. “That’s exactly why I didn’t do it. Somehow, I gathered the strength to get us out of there. I began to formulate a plan. It wouldn’t be fast or easy. But I hoped it would work.”
“Chester…” Sabine said.
“Yes. With the mob on Huey’s side, I knew I’d never escape them. I needed a cover story to throw them off my trail and get Huey off the hook at the same time.”
“Mom, I can’t believe you had to deal with something like that when you were still a teenager.”
“I had to grow up quickly.”
“So, how did you do it?” Ryan asked.
“First, I made nice with Huey. That was the worst part of it all. I had to grovel and beg his forgiveness. It took time for him to believe me. I had to… Provide sexual favors. It was disgusting and horrible.”
“You did what you had to do, Marcheline,” Ryan said. “Don’t feel badly about that. You’re a survivor.”
Marcheline continued. “Once Huey thought everything was back to normal, I explained to him that the baby was Chester’s and couldn’t possibly be his. I lied and said I’d been wearing a diaphragm when he and I had been intimate.”
“And he believed you?” Sabine asked.
“He did. I had never so much as resisted him, so I guess he didn’t think I had it in me to fight back.”
Marcheline looked outside again. She needed more anchoring. The desert plants remained a comfort.
“Huey made it a point to remind me he could have anyone he wanted killed. He moved from threatening my parents’ lives to threatening my own life and my baby’s. I told him I had come up with a way to proceed so it would never come back on him. He pushed me to explain. I told him I would make it look like Chester had raped me and then I’d disappear. I promised I’d never return to Illinois and never ask him for anything. Chester would take the fall if someone had to. Satisfied, Huey let me go. When I got home, I packed my bags. The next morning, I said goodbye to my parents before I left for school. Little did they know, it was the last time I would see them.”
“Oh, Mom,” Sabine said sympathetically. “What were you? A senior in high school?”
“That’s right. I was technically an adult, but nowhere near ready to leave my parents and be on my own. Except that I had no choice. When school was finished that day, I left with Chester. He picked me up in his Cadillac. I told him I was pregnant and that he and I needed to start a life together so we could take care of the baby properly.”
“What did he say?” Sabine asked, animated now, apparently getting over the shock about her uncertain paternity.
“He agreed,” Marcheline explained. “We went to my house to get my car and a few items of clothing, then I moved into his building where he lived with an aunt. For two weeks, I lived there with them. I had to make sure that any physical evidence from Huey’s rape was cleared from my system.”
“Oh, wow,” Ryan mumbled. “Poor Chester. Poor you. Horrible any way you look at it.”
“I know,” Marcheline said. “Finally, it was time to seal the deal. I hate that I did it, but I was trapped. I truly felt like I had no other option. I hope you know that. Both of you. I hope you can forgive me.”
“Mom, it sounds like Chester is the one who needs to forgive you.”
“You’re right. I know.”
“So, how did it… Go?” Ryan asked.
“I did what I had to do,” Marcheline continued. “I initiated sex with Chester, and then I made it rough. So rough, it caused bruising and eventually bleeding. I’ll never forget his face as he looked at me in disbelief. He had never been rough with me. He couldn’t fathom why I was doing it to him. Later that night, I took some of his drug money. Then I drove to the emergency room. I went inside and I told them that my boyfriend had raped me. They took my statement and did a rape kit. I’ll never forget the tears streaming down my cheeks as I went through those motions. It was one of the worst nights of my life, second only to the last night at Huey’s fishing cabin.”
“And I guess it was your word against his, right?” Ryan asked. “I mean, do you know what happened?”
&
nbsp; “I don’t,” Marcheline replied. “When the medical professionals were done and they let me leave the hospital, I took the cash and the few bags of belongings I had, then I got in my beaten up old car and started driving west. I never looked back. I couldn’t.”
Marcheline sat silently for a while, wiping tears from her eyes. Ryan, Sabine, and Amelie didn’t make a sound, as if they were giving Marcheline space to recover from her confession. When she was ready, Marcheline suggested that they drive on, saying she was all talked out for a while. Ryan offered to take over driving duties and promised to continue on to Tucson without deviating from the path. Marcheline agreed and climbed into the passenger seat while Sabine moved to the back.
As Ryan put the truck in gear, then gradually increased his speed to get back up on the road, he noticed a small red sedan pulled over on the side, not far in front of them.
“Hey, that car looks familiar,” he said. “There was one just like it traveling behind me last night.”
Panic filled Marcheline’s eyes in an instant. “Are you sure? I thought you said you weren’t followed.”
“Yeah, pretty sure,” Ryan replied. “It was dark and desolate. There wasn’t much to focus my attention on. So, I noticed the car. But I didn’t think I was actually being followed. Although seeing the same car now makes me wonder.”
Sabine looked at her mother, her eyes also wide with fear. “Mom!”
20
“Quick,” Marcheline said to Ryan. “Drive! We need to lose him.”
“Let’s not get carried away,” Ryan replied. “It’s just a car on the side of the road. We don’t know if the guy is following us.”
“Was it a guy?” Marcheline asked.
“Yeah, definitely a guy,” Ryan replied. “Short haircut. Looks like military or police. Probably former military or police.”
“You saw his face?”
“At a gas station last night, yeah,” Ryan answered. “If it’s the same guy… It looks like it from the glance I just got.”
Ryan accelerated to get up to Interstate speed, but wasn’t driving as fast as Marcheline wanted him to.
“Ryan! You’ve got to go. Drive faster.”
Marcheline was coming undone. Ryan and Sabine had never seen her like this.
“Mom, I agree with Ryan. Take it easy,” she implored. “We don’t know anything yet.”
“You two are telling me to take it easy, but you don’t understand. You don’t know what the mob does to people. It isn’t pretty. They’re very creative about eliminating their enemies. They torture people before they kill them, and they rarely miss their marks.”
“Okay,” Ryan replied, trying not to sound condescending. “But are you sure that isn’t dramatized for TV?”
Marcheline took a breath and tried to center herself. She knew she was spiraling out of control, and that Sabine and Ryan thought she was losing it.
“It’s not just on TV,” Marcheline said calmly. “You may not realize it since we don’t really have organized crime in Rosemary Run. But back in Chicago, it’s a huge problem. Maybe it isn’t as bad now. I don’t know. But when I lived there, it was rampant. And Huey… He held tremendous power within the organization. He could have anyone he wanted killed. I mean it. You’ve got to believe me.”
“Okay,” Ryan said. “We hear you.”
“But do you believe me?” Marcheline asked. “You’ve to believe me.”
Ryan and Sabine looked at each other.
“Tell us this,” Ryan began. “Let’s say the guy in the red car is following us and he is somehow connected to Huey and the mob. What do you think he will do to us? He’s just one guy in a little car.”
Marcheline leaned her head back on the seat, exasperated. She wiped her brow, which was beginning to perspire thanks to her nervousness. “It’s not just one guy in a little car,” she said. “It’s about who he knows and who he tells. It’s about them finding us. If that one guy knows it’s us and knows where we are, he’ll send for others. They’ll come in the night. They blow people up in their cars. I’m telling you. This is so incredibly serious.”
“So what do you think we should do?” Sabine asked. “You mentioned a private detective calling you at work yesterday, right?”
“Yes, that’s right,” Marcheline replied. “But it’s not him or the authorities I’m worried about. If it were just the authorities, I would turn myself in. No questions asked. I would tell them what happened about the rape and clear Chester’s name. Then I’d do my time or whatever punishment I needed to. I’m not afraid of punishment from the law. I’m afraid of punishment from the mob.”
“You’re afraid of Huey,” Sabine confirmed.
Marcheline began to cry. She wasn’t much of a crier. In fact, she rarely cried in her everyday life. She thought crying was a show of weakness, and she didn’t like to do it.
“Mom, it’s okay,” Sabine reassured again. “We know this is emotional for you. We’re driving to Tucson, just like you want. It’s all going to be okay.”
“Just drive, Ryan, please. Drive as fast as you can,” Marcheline begged. Her hands were quivering. “Is the red car behind us? Do either of you see it?”
“No, not really,” Ryan replied. “There’s a car behind us in the distance, but with the glare from the sun, I can’t make out any details.”
They entered a stretch of road with a few other cars on it. Marcheline knew from having spoken to Rande about the route that some of the way between Kingman and Tucson was a two-lane road rather than interstate. It made Marcheline nervous to be in such a desolate area. If the man was following them, he might try to trap them somewhere while he waited on others who would act as reinforcements. Marcheline knew she’d have to be extra vigilant. They couldn’t leave the truck unattended, and they’d have to be very careful not to drive into any place they didn’t have a clear exit. They’d have to sleep in shifts so that someone could keep watch at all times. Marcheline wondered how she would impress upon Ryan and Sabine the urgency of the situation and the need to remain on high alert. They just weren’t getting it.
“We need to throw him off course,” Marcheline said.
“What?” Ryan asked.
“Wait!” Marcheline exclaimed. “How is he tracking us?” She furrowed her brow as she thought. “Ryan! Your phone. You still have your phone, don’t you? Give it to me, right now.”
“No, Marcheline,” Ryan replied. He was getting irritated. “We need a phone for safety. No one from the Chicago mob is tracking my phone.”
“I said, right now!” Marcheline yelled. She leaned over from her spot in the passenger seat and got in Ryan’s face as he drove. “Don’t make me scare the baby, Ryan. Give it to me. The phone.”
Ryan looked at his wife.
“It’s just a phone,” Sabine replied. “Mom has burners. We can use them if we need to make a call for reasons of safety.”
Ryan glanced ahead at the road, then in the rearview mirror at the car in the distance. “Okay, you win,” he said, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out a smartphone. “Here you go, Marcheline. I hope you’re happy. Because this is getting more and more ridiculous all the time.”
Marcheline took the phone, crunched it with the heel of her boot, then rolled down her window and tossed it out.
“How could you be so stupid?” she asked her son-in-law. She had never talked to him in such a disrespectful way, but she was angry. And she thought he deserved it. “You’re jeopardizing our safety. You’re jeopardizing the safety of Sabine and Amelie. I don’t even care about myself, Ryan. I promise you, I don’t. I care about my daughter and my granddaughter. I thought you would do the same.”
“Don’t turn this around on me,” Ryan said, raising his voice. “I am playing along with your little charade here. But it’s getting out of hand. You need to stop and think about the effects of all this unnecessary drama. I’m just glad Amelie is a baby and won’t remember this.”
“Are you questioning my devotion to my
daughter and granddaughter?” Marcheline asked. “Because that’s what it sounds like.”
“Come on, Marcheline. Cool it,” Ryan said.
“Both of you, stop it!” Sabine said. “Fighting won’t help anything. No matter what’s happening, we need to stick together. We’re on the same side here.”
“Yeah, that’s what I thought until yesterday,” Ryan said under his breath. “Then she went off the rails.”
“Stop it,” Sabine said, more forcefully this time. “You heard what Mom’s been through. You had tears in your eyes just a little while ago as you listened to her story. Don’t turn on her now.”
“I know,” Ryan answered. “I did. And I genuinely feel for her. But I’m not sure she’s thinking clearly. I’m no expert, but it seems like her past trauma is causing her to be paranoid. Sabine, do you really think somebody from the mob in Chicago is following us? Do you hear how absurd that sounds? And in a little car, no less. One guy. Wouldn’t they send several guys in a bigger vehicle? I don’t know. But this seems like an awful weak response for the mob.”
Marcheline’s whole body began to shake, she was so angry. Her words failed her. She didn’t know what else she could say to explain to Ryan how dangerous the situation was. His inability to see the truth would put them at risk. She began to think they might need to get rid of him.
“I trust my mom,” Sabine said. “She kept me safe and gave me a good life. It sounds like I would have been in danger if she’d stayed in Illinois. Who knows what would have happened to me? If she says we have to do this, then we do. Please, Ryan. Stick with us. Stick with me.”
As the three of them contemplated their disagreement, the red sedan they’d seen pulled over was getting closer. The road was becoming twistier now, and it was filled with up-and-down hills. There were large cacti on either side, and it looked like a forest because the cacti were so tall and dense.
“Behind us,” Marcheline said, gesturing backward. “The car is following closer. It has to, so it doesn’t lose us in this terrain.”