Dangerous in Action (Aegis Group Alpha Team, #2)
Page 26
“Is she okay?” Abigail asked.
“Yes, Orlando was many things, but never a bad host.”
“How do you fit into this?” Isaac turned his attention to Agent Brett Jones.
“Because I knew Tanya.” Brett shrugged. “She seemed like a perfect candidate for the company. I coached her through the start of her application, and I was roped in as part of the joint op. About a year ago, I realized we had an internal issue and began working with Robert on figuring out who. Off the books, of course.”
“What happens now? To us? Tanya?” Kyle crossed his arms over his chest.
“Officially, Tanya was miss-identified as the suspected bomber.” Brett grimaced. “That is being laid at the feet of the true culprits. The shots fired in the park were the same would-be bombers fleeing police. Your team, and Tanya, were never there.”
“So we can go?” Kyle asked.
“I’m sure the police will have questions, but last I heard there was no intention of including you in what is already a sticky situation.”
“I want to see Tanya.” They could hash out what was happening to who without Isaac.
“She’s asleep. Let her rest,” Robert said.
“I’ll be there when she wakes up.” Isaac strode toward the door. No one stopped him.
He’d stood in that warehouse and seen how holding onto the loss of a loved one had warped Orlando into a twisted, evil man. It was easy to see parts of himself in Orlando. Isaac had spent the last few years holding on the memory of a brother that was never coming back. He hadn’t allowed himself to care for Tanya until she was pulling away from him, and now he could lose her.
He didn’t want to lose Tanya. Not now. Not ever.
Isaac wandered the halls until he found a nurse. He only felt a slight amount of guilt for bullying her into taking him to the sterile unit where Tanya and the others were being cared for.
“She’s going to go in and out of consciousness,” was the last thing the nurse said before she left him sitting next to her with strict instructions to do not touch.
Bandages covered Tanya’s arms and legs. Her face was blistered and her lips were chapped to the point it hurt looking at them. He wanted to take her hand and hold onto her, let her know he was there, but causing her more harm wasn’t what he wanted to do.
Time ticked by.
The nurses came and went, but no one would tell him anything about her condition.
It stood to reason the others would head home as soon as the alphabet soup of agencies had their shot at questioning them. Isaac was staying. If Tanya pulled through she would need weeks of treatment and rehabilitation. She wasn’t going to do it alone if he had his way. He had PTO to use anyway.
Tanya’s head turned this way and that. It was the first time she’d moved without prompting from a nurse. Isaac sat forward and gripped the railings on her bed.
“Hey, Tanya? Cupcake?” he whispered.
She groaned and frowned, but didn’t open her eyes.
“It’s me, Isaac.” He swallowed. “Robert actually helped out. There was some sort of secondary bomb rigged to go off and he helped the FBI. Anyway, Orlando’s in custody. Robert’s wife has been freed. Looks like as happy an ending as we could hope for, if you weren’t...”
Tanya turned her face toward him.
“I need you to get better, cupcake. Please? I have a lot of making up to do and I’d rather you see me grovel.” He watched for some sign she heard him, maybe understood his words, but it was impossible to read her.
He blew out a breath and placed his hand next to hers. He couldn’t touch her, but he hoped she knew he was there.
“Come on, cupcake. Get better. I need to tell you that I...I think I went and fell in love with you.”
Two weeks later...
Tanya was ready to pee in a toilet, not a cup. She mentally ticked off the minutes until she could shut a door and expect people to respect that it was, indeed, closed.
The door creaked open. She almost threw her cup of water at the person.
“Okay.” Isaac stepped in with a wide smile on his face and two duffle bags in hand.
Maybe she could throw a pillow at him. A cup of water seemed a bit cruel, given all he’d put up with from her.
“I’ve got all your records packed up, the stuff people sent you and some clothes for later. We’re all set.” His grin grated on her nerves, as did everything else.
“I can go?” she asked.
“They’re insisting someone wheel you to the curb.”
“You can’t do it?”
“I don’t have a name tag.”
“When has that stopped you?” She rolled her eyes.
“Guilty.” His grin widened.
For two weeks, Isaac had sweet talked and laughed his way around every hospital rule to stay by her side. He’d held her hand, brushed her hair and found her the exact brand of lip balm she liked. Whatever she wanted, he’d gotten it for her. When she needed something, he made it happen.
Appreciation was not the word she’d chose to label this thing knocking around inside of her. It was more complicated than that. She had to focus on getting better and not sorting out the tangled mess that was this thing with Isaac. Soon enough she’d be able to tell him that whatever debt he thought he owed her was done, the job was over and he could leave. Wasn’t that what he wanted all along?
I went and fell in love with you.
Nope.
She shut the mental door on those words.
He’d said them a few times.
So far they hadn’t discussed it, and if she had her way, they never would.
“Ms. Graham?” An orderly wheeled a large chair into the room. “You ready to go?”
“Yes.”
Isaac offered his arm to her before the orderly could. She considered not taking it. Her legs worked just fine, but she wasn’t quite up to doing it all. Between getting out of here and sorting out her hotel situation, she’d probably use up every bit of energy she had.
Tanya settled into the chair. Isaac handed her a pair of sunglasses big enough to hide half her face, and off they went.
Thanks to her partially-healed skin she looked several decades older than she was. The doctors couldn’t say if she’d have extensive scarring or not, but at least her lungs had recovered for the most part and she could continue resting from the comfort of her own hotel room. Granted, no one had let her see the state of her finances, so she couldn’t yet tell what kind of accommodations she’d be able to afford for the next few weeks.
She’d cross that bridge when they got there.
The orderly helped her into the waiting rental car, a Jeep that let her sit up instead of getting down into a sedan.
Isaac situated the bags before getting behind the wheel.
“Ready to get out of here?” he asked.
“Yes.” She leaned back and closed her eyes.
A ride from her room to the first floor shouldn’t leave her this tired.
It did not bode well for being on her own.
“I’ve booked us into a nice hotel near the airport. Any idea what you want your first meal of freedom to be?” He was so damn chipper, she needed a mute button.
“Don’t care. When do you go home?” And how much longer until she had to figure it all out on her own?
“Well, I thought we could see how tomorrow went and then make a plan.”
“We?” She peered at him from the corner of her eye. “You have a job to get back to.”
“We’ve had this discussion all ready, cupcake. I’m not leaving you.”
“Isaac, you have to go home sometime.”
“Like I said, I’m not leaving without you.”
Tanya swallowed down the bubble of panic. He’d been there for every difficult step, breath and hiccup along the way. His encouraging cheer and comforting presence had gotten her through the worst of her recovery so far, but she couldn’t continue to lean on him.
“Pull over,” she said.
/>
Isaac steered the Jeep into the parking lot of a grocery store, shifted into park and turned to face her.
“Tanya—”
“Stop talking over me and telling me what to do.” She stared down at her hands. The skin was so new it was tender, so he’d gotten her light, kid gloves to wear until they didn’t ache as much. “Look, I can’t begin to tell you how much I appreciate what your team—and you—have done for me, but I have to start figuring this out on my own.”
“Why can’t we do it together?” he asked.
“Because.” She shook her head and laughed. It was a bitter sound. “You never wanted commitment, remember? So leave me at the hotel, and go home Isaac. Your family must be worried about you.”
“I’m not going home without you.” Isaac leaned his elbow on the center console and cupped his hand around hers. He didn’t touch her, but he was close enough she could feel the warmth his body put off.
Tanya stared out of the window. Was it too much to ask for the privilege of slinking off to some deep, dark hole where she could lick her wounds in private?
“I wanted to have this talk later, but let’s go ahead and have it out now.” There was an edge to his voice, one Tanya didn’t think she’d like. “Cupcake, I—”
“Don’t say it.” She clenched her hands into fists and stared straight ahead.
“So you’ve been ignoring me?”
“What do you think? You get upset at me for making an emotional decision, you punish me for it, and now you want to tell me you’re in love with me?” Her heart wanted it, but her head couldn’t accept it. “It’s not real. Go home. I’m not your responsibility anymore.”
Tanya had never wanted to be loved until Isaac, but she wasn’t willing to accept that love out of guilt.
Isaac carefully placed his palm in hers. He didn’t hold onto her, but he needed to touch her.
He’d had a lot of time sitting in that hospital, watching her do nothing but struggle to live, to sort through his own shit. The conclusion he’d arrived at was a pretty big ding to his ego, but he could take it.
“Tanya... I stood there and stared into Orlando’s eyes. I saw what losing his sister did to him—and if I keep holding onto what happened to my brother, I’m going to be just like him. All this time, I’ve been tied down by what I’ve lost. Almost losing you made me realize that what we had was special.”
“Those are just feelings. They’ll go away.”
“No, I don’t think they will.” He turned her hand over so they were palm to palm, the thin layer of cotton separating them. “You are more important to me than I was willing to admit. Looking at you hooked up to those machines, realizing I could lose you, too...”
Isaac swallowed and shook his head.
There’d been dark moments in the first few days when Tanya’s system had struggled.
He’d prayed and bargained and even cried a little.
“I have fallen in love with you, Tanya. Deal with it. I’m not going anywhere.”
“What about what I want?” she whispered.
Isaac clenched his teeth together. He knew she cared about him, that given time and opportunity he was pretty sure he could win her over—if she let him. She had to be willing to walk through that door with him. Otherwise he was no better than her father or Orlando.
Tanya pulled the sunglasses off and stared at him.
“What do you want?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” She blinked a few times. “I don’t want to be in the hospital anymore, but I do want to lie down.”
“Your wish is my command.” He held her hand a moment longer before letting go.
This wasn’t over, but Tanya’s comfort had to come first.
Neither spoke during the trek to the hotel. He focused on handling their small amount of luggage while she navigated them to the first floor room.
Zain had two tickets to Seattle waiting in their names. He needed to know soon whether they’d be using them tomorrow or if Isaac needed more time here. He had a plan, one he’d cooked up for the last two weeks, she just had to believe it could work.
Tanya stretched out on the bed closest to the door, the pillows propping her back up. Isaac crawled up to lie next to her, content to share space and silence with her.
What could he do or say to make her understand he was serious?
“I think too much has happened for either of us to know what we feel,” she said. It was the first thing she’d spoken directly to him since the parking lot.
“Maybe that’s true for you, but I’ve had a lot of time to figure that out. It’s okay if you need more time. I can be patient.”
“What happens in a week or six or ten, when you decide it was guilt or a near-death crisis that made you feel that way?” she asked.
“I love you, Tanya. It’s as simple as that.”
“How do you know?”
“Because... When you asked me to go home, I thought I was angry about one thing, but deep down, I was mad that you didn’t want me to have your back. We were a team within our team and you wanted to cut me out. Then I nearly lost you and I realized how screwed up I’d made things, that you were—are—important to me. No one’s ever understood me like you do, and if that’s not love then maybe I don’t really know what it is. I’d like to think it’s this. It feels right.”
Tanya sniffled, the sound slicing him to the core.
Isaac rolled to his side, the urge to hold her warring with the knowledge that even gentle touches were too much still. She rolled toward him, burying her face against his chest.
“You can’t tell me that.” Her voice was muted by his shirt, but he’d become something of a Tanya-mumble-translator.
“It’s the truth.” He placed his hand on her side and blew out a breath.
“What if you change your mind?”
“I’m pretty sure you can change it back. You might not know this about yourself, but you’re awfully convincing.”
Tanya snorted, which turned into a hiccup and a laugh. He shoved a pillow under his head and slid his hand around to her back, testing how far she’d let him go, how close she would get.
“Isaac...”
“I’m not going to change my mind, if that’s what you’re really worried about. What do you say, cupcake? Give me a chance? You don’t have to say anything, just give me a nod and tomorrow we’ll be headed to Seattle.”
Tanya peered up at him. In the dim light of the room the burns and scabs were harder to make out. She looked just like the woman he’d clutched to his chest in the back of a van all those weeks ago. She’d gone from near panic attacks to kicking ass, and she’d let him come along for the ride. Now, he’d take care of her if she let him, at least until she was back on her feet.
“I’m scared of loving you, Isaac. I’m scared that I’ll fall so in love with you that if you change your mind it’ll break me.”
“Cupcake, when I make up my mind, I’m pretty damn stubborn about changing it. You tell me you love me one time and I’m all yours.”
He stared down at her brown eyes. In all this time, he still couldn’t figure out what she was thinking. Tanya would always keep him on his toes. A life with her would never be boring, and he wouldn’t simply fill his brother’s shoes. With Tanya, he didn’t have to pretend. For the first time in his life, there was a person who understood him in a way that was at times uncomfortable, but not without love.
Didn’t she see that?
They’d both fallen in love, and then he’d gone and fucked it up.
He stroked her hair and said a silent prayer.
“I don’t know what to say,” she whispered.
“You don’t have to say anything. If you want someone around, I’m here for you. If you’d rather never see me again—I might not like it—but I’ll leave. I don’t deserve to ask you for anything, but—”
“I love you, Isaac.”
He blew out a breath.
“Really?” he wanted those word to be real.
r /> “Yes. Really.”
He leaned down, blinking back the prickling sensation stabbing his eyes, and gently kissed her lips. He was a fucked up son of a bitch, but he could be better. For her. For their future. For himself. And together, they could have something wonderful.
Epilogue.
Two months later. Seattle, WA
Tanya scrubbed the potatoes while Ruth and Mrs. Cohen debated the merits of cookware. It was widely acknowledged in all three households that of Tanya’s many talents, cooking was not one of them. She could peel potatoes and boil water just fine though. It didn’t even hurt her hands any longer.
“You never said how your trip was, Tanya.” Ruth dried her hands and leaned against the counter next to her.
“It was business. Nothing fun.” Tanya shrugged and smiled. The less she said about it, the better. The CIA had offered her a nice package if she’d finish the on boarding process, but she’d declined. Six months of undercover training and two years of being a version of herself she didn’t like were enough covert work for her.
“I thought you were between jobs?” Ruth frowned. She was a stickler for the details.
“I am. It’s just official now that I’m no longer working there.”
“What company was it, anyway?”
“Leave her alone.” Isaac snapped a dishtowel at Ruth, sending her scampering out of his aim.
Tanya glanced over her shoulder and chuckled.
She’d been jealous of Ruth and Isaac’s closeness for all of point five seconds. Seeing them together made everything fall into place. There wasn’t a world where a sweet woman like Ruth would hold Isaac’s attention. No, he liked crabby, persnickety women like her.
“What are you going to do now?” Mrs. Cohen edged past her to the sink to rinse the knives.
“It’s not official yet, but...” Tanya swallowed. She hadn’t even told Isaac yet. Taking this step would mean change—and permanence.
“But?” Isaac leaned against the counter next to her and tapped her nose. It was a playful gesture, but she could see the tense set of his jaw and the white-knuckle grip he had on the counter. He’d alternate between these happy episodes and being tense any time she talked about work or what she’d do once she was fully recovered, which wasn’t that far away now.