Lancelot and the Wolf

by Sarah Luddington

  “That doesn’t mean a great deal because I don’t know who she is,” I said. Ash looked as though he were asleep, some guard he turned out to be.

  The woman laughed, a light sound, it made my belly feel warm, which made me nervous. “Else is strong, Lancelot, but she is dying in your arms.”

  That shook me. I glanced down to my companion. Her lips were blue.

  I rolled her onto her back and she felt cold and still. The woman was right, Else was dying. “This shouldn’t be happening,” I whispered. “She can’t have lost that much blood.” The world began to fall a long distance from this moment.

  “She hasn’t,” the woman said as she knelt on Else’s other side. I glanced up at her, my sword forgotten. She looked sad. I found myself overwhelmed by sorrow. If Else died, I would be heartbroken. I knew it like I knew my name. Like I knew my crimes. Like I knew the number of lashes on my back.

  “What can I do?” I asked those perfect blue eyes.

  “Love her, Lancelot. She has given you her heart and you don’t know what it is worth. You wish to reject her to protect yourself.” The gentle chiding in her words were blades being buried in my gut.

  “I cannot love her,” I said. “I love no one.” Those words made sense. Yesterday I reminded myself, I wanted to leave this creature in the woods and ride on alone. I did not want romantic entanglements. A squire I needed and would act as a balance to my morose loneliness, but a woman? No, I did not need a woman. I shook my head trying to clear a leaking, sneaking fog.

  “Yes, you do,” the woman said and it seemed as though I’d been shoved into the centre of a hurricane.

  My need to escape this madness left me dizzy but locked in place. The world took on the soft hue of dawn, the colours of pink and orange staining the forest floor through the green leaves. Mist rose as the world warmed to the day. The deep green wood held me in its spell.

  I stared at Else, her small elfin face at peace. Whispered voices overrode my struggling instincts. My thoughts turned and dived, shifting away from my control like river eels on a hook. Did I love her? Even when I’d thought her a boy I had wanted to bed her. She made me ache with desire and have some fevered dreams I didn’t want to consider now. I enjoyed her company and admired her spirit. The determination she’d displayed when under pressure of capture had given me great pride, but she’d lied to me from the moment we had met. And now this mysterious woman claimed to be her sister.

  “She lied to me,” I said.

  “She wanted to protect you. She knows you have a deep wound in your soul. She did not want to add to your burdens, but now she needs you. If you do not love her, she will fade and die. It is the way of our kind.”

  “I need time,” I said.

  “There is no time, Lancelot. A few more moments and her heart will stop. Just one kiss. The kiss of life. That is all she needs.”

  I glanced up, “Just a kiss? I don’t understand.”

  “You don’t need to. Just one kiss will be enough to begin her healing. Just one kiss, Lancelot, Knight of Camelot.”

  “I am no longer a knight,” I said bitterly.

  “You will always be a knight of Arthur’s Court.”

  I didn’t even question how she knew. As the dawn light hit us through the deep green of the leaves over our heads, I took Else in my arms.

  “Just one kiss?” I asked.

  She nodded.

  “What harm can a kiss do?” I asked myself. I thought about it often enough after all. I lifted her and lowered myself. Her breath whispered over my lips, her eyelids fluttered.

  “Lance,” she hardly made a sound but I heard my name. She suddenly felt so warm and safe against my chest. I wanted to hold her forever. I had to hold her forever.

  I kissed her. I had never been so tender, so gentle. A small shock zapped my lips and I found my mouth pressed hard against Else’s, my tongue seeking entrance to her body. Her mouth opened. Her hands moved around my back and neck. She responded. The kiss deepened. Something profound slid out of me and into the small body in my arms. The exploration grew more desperate. I felt as though I had dived into my companion and I’d begun to drown.

  Else drew back, “Stop, love. I need more time,” she smiled, lay her head on my chest and seemed to sleep.

  I looked at the woman, “What’s happened to her?”

  “She is healing. You need to come with me. I have a safe place for you and the horses where you will not be hunted.” The woman stood and walked to Ash. He stirred and bowed his head to her hand, just as the white hart had, just as the wolf had done.

  I rose. I didn’t even consider packing my things or tacking the horses. They simply fell into step behind me while I meekly followed the woman.

  “Where are we going?” I asked as we wove between vast oak and ash trees along a path I’d never have found alone.

  “Somewhere safe,” answered the woman.

  “What’s your name,” I realised my world had grown softer, less well defined. It didn’t seem to matter.

  “My name is irrelevant,” came the reply. “Else is all that is important.”

  I frowned, knowing this was not a good reply but unable to argue my opinion. I tried another question, “What is this place?”

  She glanced back at me and smiled. I realised her teeth were slightly pointed at the ends. “A safe place for you to rest, Sir Knight.”

  Before Else grew heavy in my arms we arrived at the edge of a stream. I thought it must be the one I’d camped near. All our things lay in a pile beside the entrance to a cave. The stream came from the cave and formed a pool before babbling on its way.

  “How did that get here?” I asked.

  “My friends brought your things. We want to keep you comfortable.”

  “What friends?” I asked.

  “These,” she waved her hands and suddenly the air stirred over the pool of water and hundreds of small bright lights appeared in the dimness of the woodland light. The world sparkled and shone. They danced and wove, a small chittering, like tiny church bells filled the air with harmonies. I smiled in honest joy, tears rose in my eyes for their beautiful dance.

  “Come, Lancelot, bring my sister,” the woman beckoned. She stepped with confidence onto moss covered stones, which made the stream race in tight formation to escape the coolness of the cave.

  I followed her, careful of my footing but I didn’t slip once. Else remained safe in my embrace. The cave widened swiftly inside the entrance and I suddenly found myself in a home. An area to my right contained a hearth, a low table and pelts to sit on, with rough rock walls on one side and the stream on the other. Natural light filtered into this part of the cave from the entrance. I looked back and all I could see were the trees, almost as though they conspired to hide the cave from the whole world.

  Further inside sat a large bed. It had a low wooden base, I smelt the fresh hay and camphor in the mattress, with clean linens and thick fur covers. The air felt cool this far inside. The woman stood by the bed and pointed.

  “Place her down there. We will see to her comforts soon.”

  I didn’t want to lose Else from my arms, but compelled to follow the order, I knelt by the bed and gently placed her onto the mattress. She didn’t stir.

  “Come, rise, Lancelot, let us now help you to heal,” the woman said. Her blue eyes really did shine in the dimness of the cave.

  “There is nothing you can do for me,” I said. “I will sleep at the entrance to the cave to ensure our safety,” which I knew to be my duty. Somewhere in the dimness of my mind, a small voice screamed warning. I didn’t understand so I stayed waiting for orders or approval of my suggestion.

  “No, Lancelot, now it is time for you.” The woman approached and took my hand. Her skin soft and cool to the touch. She stood only a little shorter than myself. As she led me further into the cave, I began to see light once more and what appeared to be mist.

  The cave narrowed, the rocks changed quality, becoming smoother and veined with de
ep seams of crystal. These reflected the light from some unknown source. The stream created the mist, I realised it came from the ground, hot. The deep pool of warm water appeared bottomless and reflected the cave’s ceiling perfectly. Long stalactites of limestone reached for the water but never came close.

  Gentle hands were untying the laces at my wrists and chest. I reached up to stop them, “What are you doing?”

  “You need to bathe,” came the calm response. “You cannot lay with my sister in your current state, it would be unbecoming. Besides, the water wishes to see what perfect gifts our Else has given us. You must heal and we will help. Just relax, Lancelot.”

  There were so many strange words, I found myself lost inside them and her gentle hands, as she took my shirt from my back. Then she bade me sit on a rock and she took my boots. Her hands were gifts in themselves making my skin tingle wherever she touched my naked flesh. I stood and her hands touched my belly to undo my laces, my cock stiffened instantly.

  She giggled. “It seems you are feeling happy.”

  I pulled her hands from my hose. “I’ll deal with this,” I said, my brain finally asserting some kind of control.

  “As you wish, but we will all enjoy your company, mortal man,” she whispered, moving away slightly.

  I stripped, my mind once more becoming complacent in the warm fog covering the pool of water. The woman slipped off the white gown in one simple shrug and walked calmly into the pool, naked as a babe. I grew thick and hard just watching her elegant form gradually descend into the water and now she wanted me to join her, the long slim arm out in welcome.

  I glanced back at Else. I could just see her lain softly on the blankets.

  “Come, my sister won’t mind,” the allure and promise inside that voice broke the last of my resistance to this strange dream. That’s it, I decided, I’d been dreaming all this time. We still slept in the wood and I was not walking into this warm water to lie in the arms of a woman who seemed less and less human.

  I waded into the steaming liquid and found the rocks sloped down sharply. Within a few paces, I found myself waist deep. The water caressed my tired aching body more gently than any woman. I sank into its stillness and breathed deeply. My companion approached, her long dark hair trailing behind her like ribbons on the wind from a horse’s caparison.

  Her arms found their way around my neck and her legs were around my hips without me moving. She smiled into my eyes and my arms and hands were suddenly holding her close.

  “Become one with us, Lancelot,” she said. “Let the water heal you, let my body ease your pain. Let us become your world so you can join with my sister.”

  “I don’t understand,” I told her. I frowned, the screaming in my head suddenly growing frantic. I had to run. My hands slipped from the woman’s waist and I turned to obey a warrior’s instinct.

  Her arms tightened, she bowed her head and kissed my neck. A thrill of erotic energy raced through my body straight to my cock. My balls tightened evilly.

  “Stay, beloved. Stay and be safe for a while in our arms,” she whispered. “Forget the world and its ways for a time. Stay with us and be with Else.”

  I turned back, the scream died. Desire swept away all thought of shame, guilt, pain and anguish. In this place, there could be only love, passion and warmth.

  “Yes,” I said as the woman’s mouth descended on mine. She kissed me, lifted her hips and simply impaled herself on my cock. I threw my head back and groaned. The water around us stirred, holding me as she rocked on my body. She felt endless and tight all at once. She rose up and down crying out in a language I didn’t know, using my manhood to please her body, irreverently. I wanted my own satisfaction and began to force her harder onto me. I wanted to hear her scream my name. Her strong subtle body bent back and her small firm breasts were there for the taking. I lowered my head and sucked hard, she did cry out my name then. Her fingers in my hair forced me harder onto her breast. She fucked me until she came, and when she convulsed over my straining cock I too came deep inside her body. My seed filled her belly and spilled onto the warm water all at once. Eventually, her movements relaxed and she sat still as I softened with her. She stroked back my wet hair.

  “Now, you will heal and you will sleep. The next body you fill will be my sister’s,” she told me.

  I merely nodded as she led me from the water, meek as a lamb, dried me off before laying me naked under the blankets of the bed. Else too lay naked in the bed. I pulled her into my arms. Sleep stole my muddled thoughts from my head.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  At some point, I roused from that strange unconsciousness. The small warm body next to me woke at the same moment. I stared into soft brown eyes, which smiled up at me dreamily. I kissed the perfect full mouth. Else opened herself to me and we shared the most intimate of kisses for long moments.

  I drew back and asked the silent question with my eyes. She nodded very slightly. I rolled onto her body and found I engulfed her with my height and weight, but her legs were already open and her knees were raised either side of my hips. Somehow, we had already blended so perfectly the head of my stiffened cock sat at her entrance. She smiled. I kissed her mouth once more, flexed my hips and slowly pushed into her body. Else gasped into my mouth. I hit a barrier. She felt wet enough, but so tight.

  “You have never been with a man?” I asked, slightly more aware of my surroundings suddenly.

  Her eyes were deeply apprehensive, “Never,” she said shyly.

  I withdrew slowly, “I should have checked, love. I am sorry.”

  “Please, Lancelot, don’t stop, I need you,” she begged.

  “I can make this easier for you, love. It doesn’t mean I have to stop,” I assured her.

  “No, please, I need you now,” she coaxed.

  “But there are so many games to be had first, Else. Don’t be impatient to lose what cannot be regained. I am not a good man to marry and I have no wish to hurt you.” I felt more myself with every passing moment, the dreamlike quality of the last few hours slipping from my mind. Did I really want this? Did I want Else or did I want something completely different? A memory, Camelot, sunlight on golden hair, Arthur. I missed him so much that for a moment I couldn’t breathe.

  “I don’t want to wait any more, my love,” she said and she kissed me. The memory faded, the halo of golden curls vanished. The kiss encompassed my whole being, my world turned around her small firm body pressed tight against mine and her hands pushed my hips over her own. “Just be slow,” she said.

  I wanted to taste her juice. I wanted to feel her small breasts in my mouth, roll her nipples with my tongue and lick her belly. I wanted my fingers to prepare her body so I didn’t hurt her, but that mind numbing fog washed through my mind once more and my body reacted instinctually to her presence.

  I pushed into her, my arms taking most of my weight. She felt so perfectly tight. I forced myself into her body and she groaned begging me for more. It became a battlefield. I would retreat and then advance a little further each time, gradually gaining ground deeper inside. She rose up to match each stroke and to take more than she could bear, crying out when I vanished from inside her as though I’d abandoned her to the enemy. The hidden entrance, displaying her virgin state made me pause. Once broken, I’d ruined her for certain. I did not bed virgins.

  “Please, dear God, Lancelot, have mercy,” she cried out.

  One small movement and I found I’d shredded the barrier forever. She bit back a scream before smiling.

  “Thank you,” she said as she kissed me. I moved into her further, the battle ground now mine for good or ill.

  I held back, pacing myself carefully. Thrusting into her gently, riding her as softly as possible. Her inexperience didn’t stop her pushing against me, trying to take all I could give. Our movements became more frantic and soon we were both crying out in pleasure. The fog in my mind once more felled me as soon as I throbbed inside her body and she pulsed around me. We fell asleep befo
re we had even pulled away from each other. Locked in an intimate embrace.

  We woke to darkness in the cave. Once more, we came together, instinct rather than real awareness driving our actions. The next time I woke light shone through the mouth of the cave and we rose. We ate food and drank water. I took Else to the pool and we bathed, once more making love. She glowed and laughed and cried. I loved her.

  I didn’t think of, or even remember my past. I merely existed in my cave, held in the arms of a beautiful woman. Sometimes we left the cave and walked through the trees. Their leaves whispered to us of our desire and it seemed as though they stroked our skin as we moved. I thought I saw women, young and beautiful with bark coloured skin and green hair dancing in the shadows. We found our horses, both of whom were quiet, peaceful, Ash even asking for cuddles. We spoke of gentle things, of stories, passions, hope.

  Every time we made love, I fell more deeply into the world of our small glen. I began to forget everything, Arthur, England, Camelot, my terrible grief. The peace of Else’s existence held me in deep thrall.

  I woke one night to hear terrible words.

  “I can’t do this to him, he’s like a drug addled child,” there were tears in Else’s words.

  “You must do it, everything depends on his loyalty to you,” came that woman’s voice. I hadn’t seen her for days. I wanted to wake fully and take both women to my bed.

  “His loyalty has never been in question,” Else cried out.

  “He was going to leave you,” came the calm reply.

  “That’s because I lied to him, I am still lying to him,” misery in my lover’s voice made my heart hurt.

  “Once this process is over he will not leave you and he won’t mind. Please, sister, understand our way, this is all we can to do to defeat our enemies.”

  “By using Lancelot and forcing him back to Arthur under my control? It’s so unfair. He deserves to be able to make his own choices. Just as I do,” Else said.

  “You will do your duty,” the reply sounded like a slap to the face. “He would not have loved you without our intervention, you were failing, he has to be ours to control. Arthur needs him too badly to let him lose.”