Harvest of Hearts

by Laura Hilton

  In her defense, he did seem interested in her, and she was used to the Englisch way of going after what she wanted, even toying with men’s affections.

  That was wrong. She was wrong. She needed to show more respect to Matthew and his standards.

  He loaded the box of kittens onto the backseat of her car. “What are you going to do with them?”

  “Take them home.” Her daed had drowned more than his share of kittens in the past, despite her tears, but maybe he wouldn’t notice them for a day or two. At least until she had some time off work. Then, she’d take the animals into the city, where they’d have a chance at survival.

  He nodded and dangled her car keys between them as a horse and buggy came to a stop behind them. A gray-haired man climbed out. Shanna recognized him as the bishop. He hadn’t changed at all. She cringed as he eyed her, but instead of berating her, he shifted his attention. “Matthew Yoder. I thought that was you. I must have imagined you behind the wheel of that car.”

  Chapter 4

  Matthew wanted to deny driving the car. But even as the temptation to lie washed over him, he straightened his spine. Lying wouldn’t do any good. The bishop had seen him. Amos Kropf had seen him. And, of course, there were the keys, still clutched in his fingers.

  He was the one who’d asked to drive, even when he knew that it was wrong for him, a member of the Amish church. And he’d been caught. There was nothing to do but own up to his violation of the Ordnung and accept the consequences.

  “Jah—”

  “I had an accident with a buggy in town,” Shanna said, interrupting him.

  Matthew looked at her, noticing the stiffness in her stance. Why had she spoken to the bishop? He hadn’t addressed her.

  “I shouldn’t be behind the wheel of a car after the day I’ve had. I’m a danger to all the other people on the road. And Matthew knew this. You know how when you take cold medicine, the instructions tell you not to operate heavy machinery? Well, stress can do the same thing.”

  “Then, maybe you shouldn’t be driving. Ain’t so?” The bishop’s sharp gaze landed on her.

  Shanna’s grin appeared forced. “I knew you’d see it my way.”

  The bishop’s brow furrowed in a frown. After a long hesitation, he shook his head and turned back to his buggy. Matthew watched him climb in, check for oncoming traffic, and drive away.

  The issue was far from over, but it would be pursued away from confusing Englischers. Away from Shanna. Matthew sighed and jingled the keys. He’d always been the good Amish kid, the one who mostly obeyed the rules during his rumschpringe. Getting a driver’s license had been his one major act of disobedience, and that was because his best friend had talked him into it.

  He shoved the memory away and rattled the keys again, drawing her attention.

  She didn’t make any move to reach for them.

  “Take them.”

  Shanna did so without argument, sliding them into her pocket. She peered into the backseat, then turned to scan the road, maybe looking for more stray kittens.

  “I don’t need you trying to cover my transgressions,” he told her. “I can talk for myself.”

  Her mouth parted for a moment, and then she shut it with a curt nod. Glancing up the road, she walked around him to the driver’s side, opened the door, and slid inside. Without saying a word to him.

  The engine roared to life. Did she plan to leave him there? Stranded? Matthew sucked in a breath of air and hustled around to the front passenger’s side. It would be the last straw if she left him standing on the highway.

  He was only halfway inside when the tires started to roll. He pulled his other leg in, reached for the door handle, and slammed the door shut as she merged onto the highway.

  “You’re dangerous!” He shifted his weight to sit correctly, pulled the seatbelt across his chest, and then glared at her. As if she could feel his eyes.

  Her jaw tightened.

  “Is that why you wanted to be a nurse? Job security from fixing up all the people you injure in traffic accidents?”

  A lone tear made a trail down her cheek.

  He instantly regretted the words. They’d been more than a bit harsh. But instead of apologizing, he turned away and looked out the window. He’d apologize later. If he made it home in one piece.

  How could this woman have even one drop of Amish blood in her? He certainly couldn’t see it.

  She didn’t attempt to avoid the washout on the dirt road when they came to it. She hit the gas and flew over it, seeming to ignore the racket when the car bottomed out.

  Jah, Shanna was trouble with a capital T.

  So, why did he feel so attracted to her?

  ***

  Shanna dropped Matthew off in front of the shop door, then drove the car behind the barn, where it would be hidden from sight. Daed had always asked Onkel Micah to park his RV back there, as if he was ashamed to have an Englisch vehicle on the grounds. Few, if any, of the neighbors even knew that part of the barn had electricity, and Onkel Micah always kept the windows covered with cardboard at night, probably so the lights wouldn’t be seen.

  She would do the same.

  But that was as far as it would go. She didn’t claim to be Amish anymore, and while Daed may be permitting her to stay on his property, he treated her as an outsider. At least, he had so far today. So, she would respond in kind. She didn’t belong here, and she wouldn’t make any effort to seek out her family—make that her ex-family—or the handsome Matthew Yoder from Pennsylvania.

  She’d done enough damage today, to much more than just the buggy. Her reputation, for one—she couldn’t imagine what Matthew must think of her. Dangerous, a bad driver, a flirt, too talkative…. The list probably went on and on.

  Pretending she was about to drive off without him? She wouldn’t have, really. But the joke had belly flopped. She still felt the pain deep inside. College students pulled that trick on each other all the time. Matthew didn’t know that.

  Frowning, she climbed out of the car, opened the back door, and lifted the box of mewing kittens. After using her hip to bump both doors closed, she carried the box around to the front of the barn. She hoped Daed wouldn’t peek out of the shop and see her. And that Matthew wouldn’t tell Daed about them.

  Surely, Daed wouldn’t notice five extra kittens if no one mentioned them. After all, she’d spied kittens tumbling around in the grass when she’d arrived this morning. She didn’t see them now.

  A rock settled in the pit of her stomach. Had Daed drowned the kittens while they’d been gone? If so, he would notice the new ones.

  Entering the barn, Shanna scanned the shadows. There, in a corner, a kitten wrestled with a mouse. It looked like the mouse was winning. With a grin, Shanna set the box down and scooped up one of the kittens.

  “What do you have there?” Daed’s voice came from behind her.

  Shanna felt her heart rate skitter out of control, and she gripped the kitten tightly, squeezing enough that it squeaked and dug its claws into her hand.

  She swallowed and turned to face her father, with the kitten still squealing and squirming for freedom. “They were dumped out on the highway. I couldn’t leave them. They were going to get run over. I thought I’d take them to the Humane Society in Springfield.”

  “You think this looks like the Humane Society?” Daed folded his arms across his chest.

  “Nein. But I have to work tonight until close, so I didn’t have time. I’ll take them there as soon as I can.”

  “Work?” A shadow flickered through Daed’s eyes.

  “Jah. I got my old job back for the summer.”

  “For the summer.” Daed’s chest rose and fell. “So, I take in stray cats and stray Englisch girls for the summer.”

  Pain shot through Shanna’s heart as she watched Daed frown and move past her. A stray Englisch girl? Was that all she was to him?

  Probably so. She didn’t belong in this world. She didn’t have a family. Not really.

&
nbsp; She was just a stray.

  ***

  Matthew couldn’t shake the sense of guilt that haunted him. He stared down at the table he’d been staining, the harsh words he’d spoken to Shanna repeating over and over in his head. He needed to apologize.

  He didn’t know how.

  In all honesty, “safe driver” was the last term he’d choose to describe Shanna. But maybe he should let it go.

  Or maybe he should apologize for hurting her feelings.

  Well, he’d wait until he’d finished working on the table.

  He couldn’t concentrate. Instead, the flash of pain across her face and the tear trickling down her cheek—both results of his unkind words—replayed in his mind.

  With a sigh, Matthew put the brush down and, leaving the can of varnish open, walked out of the shop. He wouldn’t be gone long. Just long enough to apologize and beat a hasty retreat.

  After that, he’d stay as far away from that beguiling Englischer as he could.

  He didn’t see her outside anywhere. Levi’s wife, Deborah, stood out by the laundry line, folding dry clothes. The two littlest girls were by her side, one taking the clothes down and handing them to her, the other setting them in the basket. Strange that Shanna wasn’t out there with them, visiting.

  If one of his older sisters had returned home after a long time away, she’d be with the family, talking up a storm.

  With another glance around, Matthew turned to the barn and headed in that direction. A few moments later, he approached the apartment door. Loud music pulsed from behind it. She would never hear him knock over all that noise.

  What more could he do except make an effort?

  He raised his fist and banged with all the force he could muster.

  A few seconds later, he heard the sound of feet pounding down the stairs. The door flew open. Shanna wore different clothes, which looked neither plain nor fashionable Englisch. He realized it must be her McDonald’s uniform. Her hair was wrapped in a blue towel, and she held a tiny brush in her right hand. “Hey. You don’t need to beat the door down. Kum on in.” She turned and dashed back up the stairs, disappearing around the corner.

  He couldn’t. Shouldn’t.

  The music radio clicked off, and she stuck her head into the stairwell. “Aren’t you coming?”

  “Uh, nein. I came to apologize. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

  She blinked at him. “Ach. I’m so over that. Right now, I’m trying to kum to terms with being called a stray.”

  A stray? He didn’t remember calling her that. Matthew scratched his neck.

  “Tell you what. If I had anyplace else to go….” She shook her head. “Daed doesn’t love me. He doesn’t want me here. I guess that’s why I’m out in the barn. Out of sight, out of mind, ain’t so? I don’t know why he agreed to let me stay. Maybe because Mamm wanted it.”

  Matthew frowned, remembering the expressions that had crossed Levi’s face when he’d found out Shanna had come home. Expressions of joy and hope. And love. “Your daed loves you.”

  She glanced down at her feet. “Right. And that’s why he called me a stray.” She heaved a breath, then waved the little brush in his direction. “I need to finish putting my makeup on so I can go to work. Are you coming up?”

  He thought she’d been wearing makeup when she’d come home. Why would she wash it off, only to reapply it? Matthew shrugged. “Nein. I need to get back to work.”

  “Okay. Don’t worry about it, Matthew. I’m tough. I can handle criticism.”

  His brow furrowed. Why did he have trouble believing that? It didn’t matter. He’d done what he’d come to do.

  “So, what are you called? Matt? Or just Matthew?”

  He backed up a step. “My friends call me Matthew.” Instantly, he regretted his words. But then again, everyone called him Matthew, except for some of the Englisch. Shanna would probably go with Matt.

  Her gaze settled on him. “Gut. I prefer Matthew. It’s sexier.”

  Matthew’s face heated, and he reached out to grip the doorknob. He needed the support to deal with this forward Englisch girl. She seemed to thrive on shock.

  She grinned. “Shut the door on your way out.”

  Chapter 5

  Shanna closed the door of her car and headed for her apartment, swinging the yellow Dollar General bag beside her as she trudged through the weeds behind the barn. Before she rounded the corner, she paused to stretch her aching leg muscles. Still, she was glad for the work. She’d been back in Seymour three days and had worked every one of them. She hadn’t been on the schedule to work today, but she’d had to fill in for somebody who hadn’t shown up this morning. And she was scheduled to work every day next week. Good, because she needed the money.

  Except she had yet to take the five kittens to the Humane Society. She needed a day off to take care of that before Daed decided to eliminate them. So far, he had ignored their presence, much as he’d appeared to ignore Shanna’s. She hadn’t seen any members of her family since the day she’d arrived.

  Of course, that was partly her fault. When she wasn’t working or spending time in town, she was hiding out in the apartment.

  As she came around the corner of the barn, the house came into view, and the aroma of roast beef met her nostrils. Her stomach rumbled in response. Shanna pictured the meal—the gravy Mamm always made to go with it, the warm, flaky crescent rolls—and she made a decision. She was tired of living off of burgers and fries consumed during her breaks or granola bars eaten at home. The apartment didn’t have a kitchen. There wasn’t even a microwave or a mini fridge. But then, Onkel Micah and Aenti Billie usually ate meals with the family when they were in town. She longed for a home-cooked meal. Especially now, with the scent of roast beef along with something sweet, maybe shoofly pie, tantalizing her senses.

  How unwelcome would she be made to feel if she ventured up the porch steps and entered through the front door, interrupting the family as they sat down for their evening meal?

  Thunder rumbled overhead, drowning out the sound of her growling stomach, though it did nothing to mitigate the ache. She hadn’t eaten fruits or vegetables in ages, filling up instead on hamburgers, fries, and cappuccinos at work. Hardly what one would call a balanced diet. She cringed at her outright disregard of everything she’d learned about nutrition in her nursing classes.

  Another rumble of thunder. She looked up at the sky, where ominous-looking storm clouds loomed. A raindrop plopped on her nose. She clutched the yellow plastic bag more tightly in her palm. It held two more boxes of granola bars.

  She changed her course in the direction of the house, dreaming of a home-cooked meal instead of the same old granola bars, which didn’t taste remotely similar to the ones Mamm used to make from scratch with marshmallows, oatmeal, chocolate, and other ingredients Shanna couldn’t recall.

  Hearing something beside her, she stopped and turned to see who was there. Her gaze met Matthew’s steady gray eyes. She’d forgotten how incredibly gorgeous they were. Her stomach quivered. She couldn’t tell if it felt better or worse than her hunger pangs.

  He studied her silently for a moment, then turned and nodded toward the house. “They set a place for you at every meal.”

  They did? If that were true, then it would seem her exile had been self-imposed. Shanna’s heart stuttered for a second, and then she remembered Daed’s hard look when he’d caught her with the kittens. He’d called her a stray. If they fed her, it would be a cold meal on the porch, at best; at worst, a warm plate on a card table in another room, to keep up the guise of shunning. She’d rather eat hard boxed granola. “Nein, they don’t.”

  One corner of Matthew’s mouth quirked. “You’ll never know unless you swallow your pride and go in there.”

  “I can’t.”

  He shrugged and started moving toward the house. “You can’t? Or you won’t?”

  Thunder rumbled again, and the spotty drizzle turned into a downpour. Matthew’s steps quickened as he hur
ried toward the porch. Shanna stood in the yard, the rain stinging her cheeks and soaking her clothes, which began to cling to her body. Her hair was probably wet enough to form a lather with shampoo.

  When Matthew reached the front door, he paused and looked back at her. Instantly, she felt like a fool for standing in the rain, watching him go. Still, she didn’t move. The empty apartment held no appeal, but she didn’t have the courage to follow him inside.