Ditched: A Love Story

by Robin Mellom

  thought. But she did. “Ian deserves someone who wil accept what he has to give.”

  I considered tel ing her how I found the ring and bought it, and how my mom was going to kil me for spending so much money. . . .

  But then I realized it wasn’t important.

  Here I was wasting al this time wondering how he would kiss me, wondering if he’d loop pinkies with me when we walked down the hal . . . wondering if he was truly boyfriend material.

  When the truth was, I wasn’t girlfriend material.

  I couldn’t face Ian. I had ruined this night. I had ruined everything with him. He’d tried to make me his girlfriend and I’d rejected him. I went to prom with him and ended up kissing one guy and leaving with two others. There was no apology for that. No note scribbled out on a napkin would make up for not being the girl he hoped for. He deserved better . . . and Al yson should be the one to tel him.

  Eva’s note to Ian was exactly the truth.

  I rubbed my bare finger. “You’re right, Al yson. He deserves someone special. He deserves better. Tel him I’m sorry.” I spun around to go back to the car.

  But as much as I knew deep down that I wasn’t what Ian deserved . . . stil . . . I had to know. I whipped back around.

  “Al yson?”

  She turned to face me. “Yeah?”

  “Did you ever see the crease?”

  245

  “The what?”

  “The face he gives when you go back and forth with him and it almost goes too far—he pul s his mouth up to the right. There’s a crease there. Did you ever see it?” She crossed her arms and let out a deep sigh. She looked defeated. “No. I never noticed it.”

  I clutched at my stomach. I had hoped it was true. That lovely, tiny thing was just for me. “Thanks,” I said, my voice weak and quivering. “I . . . I just needed to know.” I don’t know what difference it made to me, I just knew it did. But Ian and I didn’t seem to be able to land in the same spot at the right precise moment. This night symbolized everything between us—we kept slipping by each other.

  So I turned and went back to the car, back to Brian, back to my past.

  I could hear Al yson’s beautiful shoes behind me, retreating up Brianna’s driveway. When I reached the car, Brian held the back door open for me. “We’re done swapping.

  Let’s go for a drive.”

  “But you guys need a designated driver,” I said.

  “Boner doesn’t drink.

  “But what about al that fal ing down? He’s wasted.”

  “He’s clumsy.”

  Boner pointed to his unusual y large feet.

  And so Boner drove as we cruised the back streets blaring AC/DC with the windows down. My hair was flying as Brian and I screamed the lyrics at the top of our lungs.

  246

  “Hey,” Brian said as he reached over and put his hand on top of mine. He kept bouncing his head along to the song, then leaned in and yel ed so I could hear him. “Prom sucked.” I nodded.

  He put his arm around me. Warm. Strong.

  Oh, God. What was happening?

  I took a deep breath because I knew I needed to slap him for hitting on me when he was supposed to be with Al yson.

  But the air fil ed with the smel of raspberries and cayenne. And boy smel s made me do things I regret.

  Ian deserved a better girl—and it wasn’t me.

  Brian pushed over and got closer.

  247

  17

  Double-Stuff Oreos

  GILDA AND DONNA have blank looks.

  They aren’t speaking.

  No squinting. No head tilting. Nothing.

  I can’t tel if they are shocked or if they’ve been frozen.

  “Should I keep going?” I ask.

  Gilda final y clears her throat. But stil , nothing.

  Donna final y opens her mouth. Then she takes a deep breath. “Let me get this straight—you got together with Brian?”

  “There’s more to it. I got swept up—”

  “But you knew what that would do to Ian,” Gilda says, as if she’s defending him, as if she knows him.

  248

  “But Ian—”

  “Okay, look, dol .” Donna interrupts. “You don’t have to deprive yourself. A woman has a right to enjoy a man’s mouth. It’s constitutional.”

  I nod.

  “But al we’re saying is maybe you didn’t think through the consequences of your actions.”

  I throw my arms in the air, frustrated that they seem to be suddenly taking his side. “But you are the one who keeps cal ing him Captain Scumbag.”

  “Wel , sure. I guess. He is a guy, but—” Donna shakes her head.

  “But what? I’m not the girl for him? He deserves better?” Gilda clasps her hands together as if she’s praying.

  “Couldn’t you have waited until you had some questions answered?”

  “Like?”

  Donna paces the floor. “Like why was he driving away from the hotel when you got there?”

  “And why did he turn his phone off?” Gilda adds.

  Then the Questioning Firing Squad unloads on me.

  “And what did his text mean?”

  “Why did he cal you his girlfriend if he didn’t mean it?”

  “Did he mean it?”

  “Why did Serenity leave you sitting there? Is she real y a friend to you?”

  “And why did he leave you at prom in the first place?” 249

  “Justina?”

  I feel dizzy. Not in a low-blood-sugar way, but in a I-thought-I-was-right-but-maybe-I-was-wrong kind of way.

  I cover my face and blabber through my fingers. “I don’t know. You’re right. I should’ve waited. I should’ve given him one more chance to explain.” My shoulders slump as I clutch my stomach. “But I guess I just went back to being The Girl At That Party. It felt comfortable. It was easy.” I swal ow hard and cut my eyes back up at them. “But you don’t understand . . . there’s more.”

  Before they can fire more questions at me, the bel rings.

  “Dude! They have Double Stuff Oreos!”

  It’s the Mikes.

  The Mikes have walked into the store.

  THE MIKES HAVE WALKED INTO THE

  STORE! !

  I leap off my stool and sprint over to the candy aisle, charging them like a gal oping antelope.

  “Mike! MIKE!”

  They startle and stare at me a moment before my face slowly registers in their sloshed brains.

  “Sweetness!” Mike grabs me by the shoulders. “Where the hel have you been? We’ve been driving al over town looking for you!”

  “I . . . I . . .” This story is too long. It’s too complicated.

  I have no idea where to begin, so I don’t. “Where’s Serenity?

  And Bliss?”

  250

  “Bliss is passed out in the car, and Serenity is . . . wel , let’s just say you have seriously messed with her essence. She’s not serene anymore.”

  “Oh my god! You’re here?!” Serenity bursts through the door and wraps me up in her arms. But they aren’t loving arms—they’re tight, smothering arms, like she won’t let go.

  Mike leans into our tangle of a hug. “Serenity’s been on a freaking rampage trying to find you.”

  Despite the smothering, her embrace is warm and strong.

  It feels so nice to be protected. I have known Serenity for only ten hours, but I have a sense she would defend me forever. I can’t help but cry. “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” she whispers in my ear. “Ian is okay, too. I’m just glad you’re safe.”

  I push back and grab her hands. “Ian? What do you mean? You saw him?!”

  The mere mention of Ian immediately draws Gilda and Donna over to us. Donna puts her hand on my shoulder, as if to claim me as her own, and glares at Serenity. “So you’re the one they cal Serenity?”

  She narrows her eyes. “Who are you?”

  “I’m the one who di
spenses good advice. Like a friend would do.”

  “I’ve been tel ing them what happened,” I explain.

  Donna draws her eyebrows together. “You know where Captain Scumbag is, huh?”

  “Captain Scumbag?” Serenity looks confused.

  251

  “Ian,” I explain. “I told them al about it. What he did to me. Do you know where he is?”

  “He came back to the hotel right after you left. You should’ve waited, Justina. He’s not a scumbag.” She crosses her arms over her chest and looks directly at Donna. “Not even close.”

  I step back from her, trying to read her face. “What do you mean?”

  “He told me everything . . . why he left . . . what those phone cal s to Al yson were about. He was getting her to help him surprise you. That party at the Hampton Inn was supposed to be for you—and he knew you’d be hungry so he got Al yson to order those pizzas.”

  “Dude, those pizzas were disgusting,” Other Mike offers.

  “Al veggie.”

  Oh no. No, no, no. The pizza slice Al yson offered me—

  that pizza . . . was for me? Of course it was: only he would know to order me veggie pizza.

  I look over at Donna, and she mouths the words “Parasite Pal.” And she was right. Allyson would do anything for me—even if it meant being the one to organize a pizza party at the Hampton Inn—as long as she could be closer to him.

  Or at least someone like him. And could I really blame her?

  Maybe I’d do the same.

  “But there’s more. The reason he left the prom—he was doing a favor”—Serenity takes a deep breath and winces—

  “for your mother.”

  252

  “He . . . wait. What? Did you say my mother?” Oh, this can’t be happening. Mom and I were getting somewhere.

  She was trying to stop being so involved in my life. But this? This was the opposite of uninvolved. This was extreme involvement. This was child abuse! “She asked him for a favor . . . on my prom night?!” I yel , my voice screeching so high Gilda covers her ears.

  “Calm down.” Serenity turns to Mike. “I knew this wouldn’t go wel .”

  He shakes his head and motions to Other Mike to hand over an Oreo for comfort. Other Mike is sitting down in the cookie aisle, legs crossed, snacking.

  Serenity snatches a cookie from him and places it in my hand. “Look, it was your dog.”

  “Sol?”

  “Something about your mom coming home and finding a Great Dane in your backyard and your dog was missing.” Oh my god. Brian and Boner. They said they had hit up a bunch of houses before prom. They swapped Sol for a Great Dane!

  “She knew you’d lose it if anything happened to your dog, and apparently she tried to cal the dog pound and the police and the FBI, but she couldn’t get any help. So she cal ed Ian. Did you tel her she could cal him with emergencies or something? Tel me you didn’t actual y say those words to her, did you?”

  I drop my head.

  253

  “Aw, Sweetness.” She puts her arm around me. “There’s no way you could’ve known she thought you meant it.” Serenity shuffles and takes a step back. “But it doesn’t make sense. I mean, who the hel would swap a dog?”

  “I know who,” I say under my breath as I drop my head again. But before I can explain, she goes on.

  “He told me he only thought he’d be gone for half an hour, but when the other neighbors started realizing their dogs were gone too, they asked him to help. The poor guy had to find like eight dogs.” She pops a cookie in her mouth.

  “Then later there were a whole bunch of other dogs that got swapped, and his phone kept ringing to help find them, so that’s why he turned his phone off.”

  I feel sick. This is al too much. I thought I had pul ed all the facts together. It seemed to be the only conclusion. But the truth was he was out taking dogs to their homes—and I was helping Brian swap them.

  Only you could never say no to my mom. Only you would spend prom night doing favors for my entire neighborhood.

  “He’s been looking for you.” Serenity lowers her voice.

  “But I had to tel him you left the party. With Brian.”

  “What? Why’d you tel him that?”

  “I had to! We didn’t know what happened to you. I told you to sit there and wait for me, but you didn’t! If you would’ve waited just five minutes, al the questions would’ve been answered. But you left with two other guys? What the hel , Justina?”

  254

  I kneel by the Oreo display and cry quietly to myself, for the mil ionth time of the night, hoping al these people around me, as wel -meaning as they are, wil disappear.

  Serenity kneels down next to me. “What were you doing?”

  “We were dog swapping.”

  “What?!”

  “I tried to stop them at first, but they convinced me they were doing it for the good of mankind, and then it turned out to be so much fun, and I was hungry and I made bad decisions. . . .” I babble and cry like a lunatic. “I was trying to find Ian—I was. But the truth is, I did leave with two other guys. And no matter what my intentions were”—I shake my head at the thought of what I’ve done—“intentions don’t matter. Ian deserves so much better—”

  “Stop crying, Sweetness.” Mike kneels down next to us.

  “I’m sorry. We were just so worried.” Serenity brushes her hand across my forehead, not knowing there’s a growing knot there. I wince in pain. “What’s wrong?” she asks.

  I lift my head and look up at Gilda and Donna as I push back my hair to reveal the knot. “I haven’t explained everything yet.”

  255

  18

  Brian Sontag

  HIS COLOGNE WAS strong—raspberries and cayenne. It was mixed with the smell of beer.

  But I ignored the beer part.

  I felt so relaxed. And out of my mind. What was happening?

  The radio was stil blaring and I had to nuzzle near his ear so he could hear me. “What about Al yson?” He shrugged. “Don’t care.”

  I sat up. “Why?”

  Boner must have noticed we were trying to have a conversation, because he turned the music down to a bearable level.

  257

  “She drives me crazy,” Brian said. “Al she does is talk.” I remembered her cornering Ian at Dan’s house. “She definitely uses her hands a lot when she talks,” I said. “High drama.”

  “Tel me about it. It’s nonstop. Al she wants to talk about is flag corps and yearbook meetings and prom planning committees.”

  The poor guy. I couldn’t imagine having to listen to her meaningless stories.

  Brian looked at me, his eyes happy and gleaming. Or maybe it was the alcohol-induced haze. “What about Ian?”

  I shrugged. “Don’t care.” Which was a lie and I couldn’t believe the words had come out of my mouth so easily.

  Brian laughed and pul ed me in close to him.

  He certainly didn’t seem concerned about Al yson, but he was also total y drunk. Which was why I had an urge to resist him—drunk guys are not my favorite kind. But my resistance was quickly overpowered by my need to smell more of that cologne.

  I inhaled deeply and felt a little woozy. Kind of intoxicated—like I couldn’t think quite straight. He squeezed tighter and I exhaled, caving into his body.

  I wanted to kiss Brian. Or maybe I just wanted to kiss someone, but Brian was the one with his strong arms around me, giving off an irresistible smel .

  But this would be it. If I kissed Brian, I would lose Ian.

  258

  I told him I would never choose to kiss someone if we were together.

  It was my choice. Kiss Brian and end it with Ian. Lose our friendship. Everything.

  And I knew this wouldn’t turn into anything with Brian.

  We’d kiss, then he’d become a number on my very long list.

  But this was how it worked for me, this was the routine.

  Brianna was righ
t—reputations can’t be erased. And Ian deserved someone far better than me.

  Some girls are The Girl. Not me. I am The Girl At That Party. Always have been. And for tonight, I would be again.

  I looked up at Brian. “Kiss me.”

  His eyes grew wide. “Yeah?”

  I liked that he wanted to make sure. “Yeah.” Just as he leaned into me, I put my hands on his cheeks and pul ed back slightly. “I’m kind of nervous, but I want you to know—”

  He put his finger up to my lips. “Shhh.” He wiped my hair from my face and put his lips near my neck. I could feel his breath. It sent a tingle through my body.

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I said. “You probably don’t know that I haven’t kissed a guy in eight months, twelve days.”

  He breathed harder. “Shhh.”

  More tingling, but I wanted him to know this. He needed to know what he was getting into and why this kiss 259

  was ridiculously huge for me. I took a deep breath. “No, seriously. This is important.”

  He moved his mouth up closer to my ear and whispered,

  “Stop talking. Don’t ruin this.”

  I pushed back, wriggling out of his grasp. “Ruin it?”

  “Dude, come on. This doesn’t have to be so complicated.

  We don’t have to talk. That’s al Al yson ever wants to do.” He threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. “Just kiss me.” Oh crap. It made sense to me now why Al yson wanted to talk to Ian so badly. Maybe it wasn’t right for her to get my potential future boyfriend to listen to her, but maybe she just wanted someone to listen to her. I doubted Brianna was offering much in the way of meaningful conversation. And Brian seemed to have only one thing on his mind.

  Then the biology of the situation hit me—our human needs. Food. Shelter. Great kissing. And a need to feel special—different from al the other humans running around.

  And that’s what Ian did for me. The fact that Ian and I had been existing and orbiting each other in this world without meeting, and then found each other on the curb that night in our darkest moments . . . it was not an accident. Our relationship was the stuff of stars—big, incomprehensible.