All of You (A Rebel Desire Novel Book 3)

by Fabiola Francisco

  Jason cradles my face, his fingers lacing into my hair. “I promise to find the answers for you. Don’t let this bring you down. You’re so strong.” He kisses my dry lips. “After we have the facts, if you want to find him and tell him, we will. I want your mind clear when you go to your interview tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” I had forgotten about the interview. I need this job.

  “I don’t think you realize how much I care about you.” His blue eyes burn into mine. I swallow hard and hug him as much as I can in the confinements of his car.

  “I do. No man that didn’t care would stay. You’re still here, comforting me and solving my problems because I can’t even think clearly. I don’t know why or how you got to the diner that day. I don’t care to understand it. All I care about is that we’re here, together.”

  Jason’s lips skim over my jaw in route to my lips. He gives me a closed-mouth kiss first, taking his time. When his tongue sweeps across my lips, I open my mouth. Our lips mold and tongues move together. Jason’s hand wanders up and down the side of my body as his mouth continues its exploration, like a desperate man in search of gold.

  I match his need, gripping onto him. I’ve been independent for a long time, but feeling the comfort and security in this man’s arms has sparked a desire to have someone tackle life with me.

  “Damn,” Jason leans his forehead against mine and murmurs.

  I tilt my chin up and brush my lips against his. “Thank you. Lately, you’re doing a lot more than you need to for my family and me.”

  “You’re mine. We work through things together.”

  “I feel like I know nothing about your family and you’re spending all this time with mine.”

  “Your family needs us more right now.” I swallow back my tears and nod. If I start crying now, I’m not sure I’ll stop.

  When I saw Ben at Drink A Latte, the coffee shop, he asked if I was seeing anyone and I told him about Jason. It was nice to speak to someone openly, who is an adult. It’s not appropriate to talk to Rae about him, and my dad has enough things to think about other than my love life. I confessed that I was falling in love with Jason but didn’t understand how when we’ve only known each other for a couple of months.

  Ben told me that the older we get, the more serious we become in relationships. We remove the games and teasing. When he pointed out that Rae was probably a big factor in that, I had to agree. Being a mother doesn’t allow me to date liberally or waste my time. I let in a man I was serious about getting to know.

  After witnessing Jason with my family yesterday, I knew that the feelings are real.

  “I want you to get rest. Call me tomorrow. I’m going to talk to my lawyer, but I want your main focus to be on the interview.”

  “Thank you.” I withhold my confession.

  As soon as I climb into bed, I pull Rae into my arms and hold her tight throughout the night.

  Leaving Cassidy Rae last night was fucking hard. I’ve never seen her so weak. I wanted to kiss away her fear until the sun rose, but that’s not an option. Instead, I woke up early and called my lawyer. I gave him the information I had and hung up with a promise he’d contact me as soon as he had some information.

  “Hey, babe,” I answer my phone when it rings.

  The guys raise their eyebrows as they overhear my greeting. I flip them off and walk out of the studio to talk to Cassidy Rae.

  “Hi.”

  “How are you? How did the interview go?”

  “I got the job,” her voice is flat.

  “That’s great! Congrats. We’ll celebrate this week.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Now tell me how you’re feeling.”

  “Like crap. I pretended everything was normal this morning, but I’m losing my grip on my emotions. I need to stay strong, so I can take care of my mom, but I can’t stop thinking about the worse case scenario.”

  “Focus on your mom for now, and let’s wait to hear from my lawyer. I’m almost positive the mother’s custody weighs more, especially since you’ve been caring for her all these years.”

  “You’re right.”

  “Are you driving home?” I ask. I lean my head against the wall, one of my legs crossed over the other.

  “Yeah. I wanted to share the news with you. It may not be the greatest job, but I’ll be happy to have an income. Since it’s part-time, my schedule is flexible as well. I’ll be working mostly the morning shifts, and a couple afternoons. I start tomorrow with the afternoon shift. My evenings will be free, which will be nice.”

  “So date nights are still a possibility?”

  “Even if I worked nights, we’d make this work.” Her response makes me smile. Cash comes out and signals for me to return. “I gotta go back to work, Caz. I’m proud of you. Everything will be okay. I promise.”

  “Thank you.”

  “I’ll call you later. Go share the news with your family.” I hang up when she says bye and exhale, glad she got the job. If Rae’s biological father wanted to fight for custody, having a stable job is a plus for Cassidy Rae.

  Being at work today has been pointless. I’m not here with the guys. It’s not fair to them, but my mind is preoccupied with Cassidy Rae. This has to be eating her up, clawing its way through her system.

  “All good?” Cash asks when I return.

  “Yep. She got a job.” I haven’t told them about last night. It’s not a story for me to tell.

  “That’s great,” he responds.

  We get back to work, discussing numbers, sales, and projections. All stuff I should enjoy. We work with our team to perfect the lyrics for the movie. This is a different process than creating our album. The movie producer has certain requirements and expectations. It’s not the easiest feat, staying within those parameters. The four of us strive on breaking away from limits, so we work a little harder at this one.

  By the time we’re done, I want to race to Cassidy Rae’s house. Instead, I grab a quick bite to eat alone because all my friends have wives or girlfriends to go home to. As much as I want to call Cassidy Rae, I know she’s currently having dinner with her family.

  I’m annoyed I can’t come home to her. I’m frustrated my lawyer didn’t call me back today. I’m worried this fucker will try to steal my girl away. I saw the way he looked at her. I heard his words when he said he went back searching for her. She doesn’t know him, so we can’t trust him. What if he hurts her or Rae?

  I grab my phone and send Cassidy Rae a text message to call me once Rae’s in bed. Then, I turn on the television and watch the sports channel.

  “Jason.” I look in my rearview mirror and raise my eyebrows.

  “Yeah, Rae Rae?” I picked her up after calling Mr. Pressman, so we could surprise Cassidy Rae at the end of her first day at work. Daisies are sitting on the passenger seat, wrapped in paper and plastic. Rae picked them out at the grocery store.

  “Do you think Mommy will be surprised?”

  “Super surprised.”

  Rae cheers and dances in the seat. That girl always finds a way of winning you over. It didn’t take long for me to care about her. It hasn’t taken long for me to fall in love with her mom, either. I just need to find the right time to tell her, and with Rae’s dad popping up, I want to make sure Cassidy Rae is in the right state of mind for that.

  These Pressman girls have me wrapped around their fingers.

  I may not be Rae’s biological father, but I can provide the love of a father, even if her real one wants nothing to do with her.

  “We’ll walk in quietly and wait for her if she’s still working, okay? We can’t make a scene,” I explain to Rae.

  “Okay. Can I carry the flowers?” she asks as I park the car.

  “You sure can.” I get out of the car and open her door. She smiles as she holds the flowers in one hand and my hand with the other.

  It takes me a minute to spot Cassidy Rae when we walk in. Rae runs to her before I can hold her back. I try to reach for her arm, but sh
e’s already crashing into her mom’s hip.

  Cassidy Rae looks at her with wide eyes and up to find me a few feet away, my fists clenched and eyes just as wide as hers. She tries to shield Rae to no avail when she hands her the flowers and says, “Congrats,” louder than necessary. This was not the plan.

  I walk up to them, overhearing the man ask Cassidy Rae how old Rae is. I stand next to Cassidy Rae, my arm around her shoulder and a kiss on her cheek.

  “Ready to go?” I say through clenched teeth.

  “Mmhmm,” Cassidy Rae hums. “I gotta go. Sorry.” She better not be fucking sorry.

  As I try to usher her out, the guy calls out. “Is she?” he pauses. Cassidy Rae turns to him, eyes cast down. There’s no denying Rae’s age and similar features. “We need to talk, then.”

  “Not now,” I shake my head. I don’t bother to look around. I try to be as subtle as possible, considering this is Cassidy Rae’s new place employment.

  “I’ll come back tomorrow,” he states. I turn and walk away.

  As soon as we’re outside, Rae asks, “Who was that?”

  “An old friend, sweetheart,” Cassidy Rae bends and hugs her. “Thank you for the flowers. They’re beautiful.” Her voice cracks.

  “You’re welcome. I picked them out,” she beams with pride.

  “What are you doing here?” Cassidy Rae stands and looks at me.

  “We wanted to surprise you when you finished your first day. I’m sorry. Had I known, I wouldn’t have brought her.” My hair has been receiving a beating over the last twenty-four hours. I tug at the roots before dropping my hand.

  “Don’t be. You had no idea. I was getting ready to leave and I saw him.”

  “We’ll talk later,” I whisper as I hug her.

  “Please tell me your lawyer got back to you.”

  I nod. “That’s the other reason I came. I spoke to him. It’s pretty good news. We’ll talk about all this after.” I nod toward Rae.

  “Thank you.” Cassidy Rae touches her lips to mine and then carries Rae. “How was your day?” She holds her as high as she can. “You’re getting too big for me to carry.”

  “No I’m not,” Rae whines. “Pick me up again.” She holds her arms up. Cassidy Rae picks her up and pretends Rae is flying. She swooshes her through the air quickly as Rae bursts into a fit of laughter. I watch them both, needing this to become permanent.

  “I told your dad I’d grab dinner on the way home. Your mom was having a good afternoon and resting. He looked good, too.”

  “You’re the best.” She smiles, although the worry lines around her eyes are still present. I’m sure the last thing she wants to think about right now is cooking dinner.

  “What should we eat?” I ask.

  “Pizza!” Rae yells.

  I look at Cassidy Rae with a quirked brow. “Works for me.”

  “Great. How about I grab it and you head home?” I offer.

  “Can I go with you?” Rae asks.

  “I think your mom could use the company right now. Spend some time with her.” I wink at Cassidy Rae, who sighs and begins to relax.

  This morning Rich told me Cassidy Rae shouldn’t have a problem keeping her full custody, but the father may have a right to visitation. He said they could settle outside of the courtroom if they find a way to peacefully discuss Rae’s custody. It’s good news that Cassidy Rae won’t lose her, but her biological father has a right to build a relationship with his daughter if he wants one.

  It’s fucked up, but I’m hoping he doesn’t. Yet he said they needed to talk after meeting Rae. He doesn’t seem like the kind of guy that would want to stir things up, but people are deceiving. All I know is that I need to protect my girls.

  I rush to buckle Rae in the car and over to the driver’s seat, locking the doors before I start the car. The need to break down is high, but I have to remain strong. When Scott–he finally told me his name–came up to me, I froze. He said we didn’t have much time to talk on Monday and wanted to get together. Apparently, he did come back asking about me. He was interested in dating me back then. I kindly told him I was seeing someone, and that’s when Rae ran up to me.

  His eyes bugged out when he saw her, and then realization dawned on him as she looked his way. I have enough worry with my mom to add Rae’s biological father coming into the picture. There’s no escaping this now, though. He saw her and he wants to talk. As soon as we eat, I need to hear what Jason’s lawyer said.

  “Did you like your new job?” Rae asks.

  “I did, baby.” I keep my voice even. “The people are nice and it’s fun to make different kinds of coffees. The flowers are beautiful.” The bouquet of daisies lay on the seat next to me as I drive. Rae knows me well to choose these flowers. They’re some of my favorite.

  “I’m glad you liked them. As soon as I saw them I told Jason they were yours. I think he loves you.”

  My breath hitches. “What?” I squeak.

  “Yeah. Boys that love girls give them flowers.”

  I giggle. “You think?”

  “Yup. One day, Bobby gave flowers to Jenny at school and that’s what he said.” I laugh, snorting. Relationship advice from kids.

  “It’s a little different for adults,” I respond.

  “Why?” Her voice raises.

  “Because we have more responsibilities and have to make sure that you want to spend a long time with that person. You take time to get to know them.”

  “But you already know Jason,” she points out.

  Yup, and what I’m feeling is love.

  “I do.” There’s not much more her mind will understand at this point. “Tell me how you helped Grandpa this afternoon?” I needed to go back to work, but I missed spending the entire day with Rae and helping my dad.

  “I helped Grandma eat and I read her a book while Grandpa cleaned the kitchen. She smiled while I read.”

  “Thank you for doing that.”

  “It’s fun,” I watch her shrug through the rearview mirror.

  We soon arrive at my parents’ house and I find my mom and dad in the living room talking. Well, my dad is talking, and my mom sits next to him in her wheelchair.

  “Hi.” My dad looks up at us. “How was your first day?” I feel like I’m a kid again going back to school after a long summer.

  “It was great.”

  My dad eyes the flowers. “Those are pretty.”

  “I picked them out.” Rae sure is proud of that.

  I put the flowers in water and let my dad know Jason is bringing pizza. In the pantry, I find a boxed soup for my mom. As soon as I get my first paycheck, I’m going to make her real chicken soup.

  Jason and I sit on the couch after everyone’s in bed.

  “You seem better,” he states.

  “I am.” I inhale. “Rae helps with that. Her innocence always brightens my day.”

  “She’s a special one.” Jason holds me close.

  “What did your lawyer say?” I hesitate as I ask the question.

  “Good news is that as the mother and sole caretaker, you shouldn’t have a problem keeping that role. He said you would keep custody unless you were mistreating Rae or neglecting her, which isn’t the case. Now, if her biological father–”

  “Scott,” I interrupt him.

  “What?” His eyebrows pull in.

  “His name is Scott.”

  “Oh.” Jason frowns.

  “We might as well call him by his name.”

  “Anyway, if Scott wants to claim his rights as her biological father and have custody, he could petition it. I don’t think you will lose yours. You’d just have joint custody or whatever agreement you decide upon and the court approves.”

  “Okay.” I digest that information. “So I’d have to share her?” I look up at Jason.

  “It’s hard, but it could be much worse. It’s not like he could take her away from you just because. You have everything going for you, and Rae can speak for herself.”

  “I d
on’t want her involved unless absolutely necessary.” I refuse to throw her into some kind of legal battle.

  “I understand.”

  “I don’t even know him.” I chew on the inside of my bottom lip. “I can’t just send her off with him, even if he is her real father.” The ugly truth is that I screwed this guy–drunk one night–without knowing his name or where he came from. I’ve raised Rae. She’s mine, and I’m not sure I can put her in a situation where she goes off with a stranger, even if they share DNA.

  “You won’t have to. I think the best approach would be for Scott to spend time with Rae when you’re present. I’d like to be there, too. We can see the kind of person he is and get to know him. My lawyer doesn’t work directly with family law, but he has a partner that does. You’ll want to have someone to defend you. He could be a nice guy, Cassidy Rae, but I’ll be damned if you don’t do this legally.” Jason stares at me with intensity. His blue eyes gaze into mine, his mouth in a straight line.

  “I agree. I’m not putting my daughter in jeopardy, nor my maternal rights.”

  “Good.”

  I touch Jason’s cheek and scoot closer. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” he shakes his head once.

  “You may be a talented musician, but you’re a terrible liar,” I tell him.

  “Cassidy Rae…” he warns.

  “Jason Stone,” I use my mom voice. He flinches and turns to me. “Don’t you dare try to warn me off. I think we’re past that in our relationship.” I sit taller, crossing my arms.

  “I’m fine.”

  I arch a brow with my head angled away from him. Jason chuckles.

  “Don’t look at me that way.”

  “Why not?” I demand.

  Next thing I know, Jason’s hands are grabbing my hips and pulling me onto him.

  “Because it makes me want to do this.” His lips crash on mine, his tongue is forceful in its entry as it desperately seeks mine. One of Jason’s hands is tight on my hip and the other is tangled in my hair, holding my head in place. I tense at his boldness until I feel his tongue sweep mine.

  A low moan travels up my throat, only to be silenced by Jason’s mouth.