Kellan

by Jayne Blue

  “Where were you tonight?” she asked. Of all the things she could have said, I wasn’t expecting that.

  “When I sang, I mean. I can usually find you. But tonight, you weren’t out there.”

  I smiled and closed the distance between us. I wanted to wrap my arms around her, but she stayed pressed against the wall. She wasn’t ready yet.

  “I was there. I’m always there. There’s an office behind the bar. The mirror is a two-way. And you’re one of only two people outside the club who know that. I wanted to watch the crowd tonight.”

  “Oh. Did you see anything?”

  “I said I wanted to watch the crowd. I couldn’t though. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I can never take my eyes off you, Mallory.”

  She let out a breath and slid her shoulders out of my jacket, setting it on the chair by the door. The red Great Wolves logo sparked on the front of her chest like a brand. My brand. God. I wanted to make her mine now and forever. I really hadn’t meant to let things go this fast with her. But from the second I thought she might be in trouble, I knew everything was going to have to be different.

  “What’s going on, Kellan?” she asked. It was in me to deflect the question, just like I had with Jase. It wasn’t fair though. She was involved now.

  “I don’t know for sure. That’s the truth. You’ve lived around here long enough to know my club wasn’t always just about the bar and the gym.”

  Mallory moved away from the door. She crossed in front of me and headed deeper into the house. There wasn’t much to it. It was a simple ranch with the living room up front, the kitchen in the back, and a long hallway to three bedrooms and a single bathroom. I didn’t even have the basement finished yet.

  She went into the kitchen and ran her hands across the black granite countertops. I installed those myself. My own brand of therapy after I got stateside.

  “You have anything to drink?”

  I smiled. “Whatever you like.”

  “Just a beer. Something ice cold.”

  “Help yourself.”

  Mallory turned and went to the fridge. She opened it and leaned down. My eyes followed the curve of her sweet ass as she reached in and grabbed two bottles. She tossed me one and twisted the top off hers. She brought the amber neck to her lips and took a long sip. I was glad to see her hands were steady now. She set the bottle on the counter and hopped up next to it, perching on the edge with her feet dangling down.

  “My best guess is we’re dealing with the Devil’s Hawks,” I said. I stood in front of her, planting my hands on either side of her thighs. “Word’s gotten out that we’ve gone legit. They’re trying to move in. Easiest way to do that is to mess with our businesses. Make people scared to work there. Scared to go there.”

  “Is it working?” she asked.

  “You tell me. Are you scared to go back?”

  “I suppose I should be. And yeah. I am a little bit. Kellan, there was a minute there tonight that I thought ...”

  I reached up and ran my fingers along the top of her ear, tucking her hair back. She shivered under my touch, her body swaying into mine.

  “Kellan.” Her breath touched my cheek, sending a shiver straight through me. My blood ran hot. My cock twitched inside my jeans. I could stop now. I would stop now if she wanted me to. But there was something different about tonight. We’d been dancing around the truth for a while now. It was time to stop.

  “I’m never going to let anyone hurt you. I swear to God, Mallory. I need you to trust me.”

  “I want to.” She didn’t raise her voice above a whisper, but it seared me, just like when she powered through some song on stage.

  “I want you.”

  She stiffened against me. She didn’t pull away, but I knew she struggled with all the reservations of why getting the hell away from me was probably the smartest thing she could do. I was too far gone for that.

  “I want you,” I said again. “I shouldn’t. I get that. And now you’re dragged into this. But I am going to keep you safe. Can you handle all that?”

  She chewed the corner of her mouth and looked over my shoulder. She stiffened, straightened her back, then shut her eyes tight. When she opened them again, she focused them straight on me and didn’t flinch. It was all the answer I needed.

  “You’re mine,” I said. I pulled her closer. Her breath fell heavy against my cheek. I ran my hands up her thighs, hiking her skirt up. She threw her head back, moaned and parted her legs. She wore lacy black panties and I slid my fingers between her thighs. She gasped when I found the sweet little bud. She was soaked for me already.

  “Say it,” I said. “I want to hear you.”

  I hooked my fingers behind the crotch of her panties and started to drag them down. She was slick with desire. I felt a tiny pulsation in her clit and knew it wouldn’t take long to get her there. It’s what I wanted. We’d have time later to savor each other. To make love if that’s what she wanted. But right here, right now, I meant to claim her and make her mine once and for all.

  I dipped a finger into her wetness. She twitched for me and spread her thighs even wider. Her whole body shuddered and I knew how bad she wanted me to rip those panties away. And I would. But I needed something else from her. “Say it.”

  “Yes,” she gasped. “Kellan, yes! Make me yours.”

  I moved my hands to her ass and pulled her forward so she was tilted against the edge of the counter. She balanced on her palms as I went for my fly. My dick sprang free. Mallory’s eyes widened when she saw how hard I was for her. She cocked her head to the side and licked her lips. Just that little gesture damn near sent me over the edge. She threw her head back and closed her eyes. But I didn’t want that. I wanted her to watch. I wanted her eyes wide open when I took her.

  “Look at me. Say it again.”

  Her lids were heavy but she opened them and looked at me through those thick lashes. Her blue eyes glinted as she spread herself even wider for me.

  “Please.” Her voice was breathy, ragged with lust. Yeah. I wanted that. I wanted to make her beg for it all night long. For now though, I needed to hear just one thing. She knew exactly what that was.

  “I’m yours. Oh, Kellan. Yes. All yours. Please!”

  I reached down, spread her legs wider. Then, with both hands, I grabbed the waistband of her panties and ripped them off her with a quick, fluid motion that made her gasp. I raised myself up and nudged the tip of my rock hard cock against her slick cleft. Testing her with my fingers, she quivered as I slid them inside her. Then I was done teasing.

  I closed my fingers around my shaft, guiding myself into her. With my other hand, I pulled her even closer to the edge of the counter. Then I slid home, sheathing myself into her hot, soft, tight wetness all the way to the root. She grabbed my shoulders to keep from falling off. I had her now though, impaled on me as I thrust in and out of her. I felt the walls of her pussy clench hard. A fresh gush of juices coated us both as she came hard and fast. I’d wanted to draw her out a little more but she couldn’t help herself. Turns out I couldn’t help myself either.

  “Fuck,” I whispered against her chest as I held her tight against me. I tried to stay in control, stay in the moment and make it last. But the second I felt Mallory come, all of it went out of my head. I just wanted to pour myself into her sweet wetness and stay there for the rest of my life.

  She pushed off the counter and wrapped her legs around me. She ran her fingers through my hair and peppered my forehead with soft kisses as she crested down. My own lust built inside me. My cock stiffened and twitched as I tried to hold back, just for a second longer. But Mallory felt too good with her legs spread so wide, her head thrown back, and that sweet, hot wetness inviting me home. I pressed into her hard, rising up to the balls of my feet. Mallory opened her eyes wide and grabbed my shoulders. Her nails cut into my skin even under the fabric of my t-shirt. She held tight, bracing for the release she knew I had coming. Then I let go, pouring into her as she struggled to open
her thighs even wider to take it all in. I spent myself hard and deep, exploding inside her.

  God. This girl. This moment. I made her tell me she was mine but that was only half of it. She fucking owned me, body and soul. I wanted to hold her, protect her, chase away all the things that darkened her eyes. And I would. If she let me, I would.

  I stumbled forward, holding Mallory close. I brought her down gently on top of the kitchen table. She drew her knees up and spread her thighs even wider for me. She cupped my face in her hands as I pumped the last of my seed into her. God. We should have been careful. I didn’t think. Then some tiny corner of my brain told me I didn’t care. Because I wanted her. All the way.

  She must have seen something cross my face because she arched her back a little and smiled. “It’s okay, baby,” she said. “I’m safe.”

  Yes, you are, I thought. Because in that moment, I knew for certain that I’d never let anyone try to hurt this girl again. I’d die for her if it came to it.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Mallory

  Boneless. Weightless. Senseless. That’s how Kellan made me feel. No up, no down. No right, no wrong. And I wasn’t used to it. Blue light fell across my face as he held me against him. Moonlight from the slats in the blinds of his bedroom window.

  It was late. Or early. Three in the morning maybe. I’d slept for maybe an hour. Before that, everything was a blur of pleasure, lust, and every muscle in my body would ache for days. The kitchen counter was just the beginning. From there, we’d moved to the bedroom, the shower, the floor and now finally the bed. I should have slept afterward. Crumpled into a heap of exhausted limbs and sated desires. And I was. But I couldn’t sleep.

  Kellan snored softly beside me, his arm thrown over me, holding me close against him. I turned slowly, so as not to wake him. He snorted, rolled to his back, but didn’t stir again. He slept with his arm thrown above his head, his left leg crooked at an angle. The covers fell away so I could see all of him, his naked magnificence.

  I sat beside him, drawing my knees up to my chest. God. He was so perfect. Every inch of him chiseled perfection from his sculpted biceps, chest, and powerful quad muscles. Taking a chance, I leaned forward and traced the ink swirling across his chest then ran my hand over the howling wolf’s head on his right shoulder. His eyelids fluttered but he stayed asleep. I sat back again, running my hand down his solid abs, lingering at his hips. His cock hung harmlessly between his legs though he twitched a little when I spread my hand across his thigh.

  I let my fingers play along the edges of the deep, jagged scar that marred his leg, but somehow made his form even more perfect. He was wounded but survived. Pieces of him torn away, and yet somehow, he was the most beautiful, complete man I’d ever known.

  He knew just how to touch me, drive me to the edge of desire and bring me back. With just a simple touch or the whisper against my skin and he had me begging for more. I shuddered to think of it. Spent as I was, just the thought of his last kiss against my most sensitive flesh sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through me, opening me, making me pliant and hungry for him all over again. He made me tell him I belonged to him. I wanted to. And that scared me most of all. I wasn’t thinking straight. Being with Kellan seemed to drive all reason from my head.

  I got bolder, letting my fingertips brush against the deep scar that ran all the way down his right leg until just below the knee where they had taken that piece of him away. A strange new thought entered my mind, potent enough that I had to give voice to it, whispering in the dark.

  “I wish I could have been with you. Helped you through it.”

  I leaned down and pressed my lips against his flawed but beautiful skin, praying I could erase the pain it had brought him. I hadn’t known him then, but I knew him now. Kellan would have been brave, stoic. He might have even pushed me away. It’s what I would have done. It’s what I’d watched my father do every day of my life. He came home with all of his limbs intact, but I knew his scars from a different war ran just as deep.

  “You wouldn’t have liked me much back then.” I startled as Kellan placed his hand on the curve of my skull as I rested my head on his thigh.

  I squeezed my eyes shut tight then slowly rose, bringing my knees up to my chest again. His eyes glinted in the darkness as he regarded me. I watched him. For a few moments, neither of us spoke. But I kept my hand against his leg, almost daring him to move it away. An odd game of chicken. Each of us open, exposed as we looked at each other in the dark.

  Finally, he brought himself up on his elbows. “You can ask me if you want.”

  I smiled. “Sure. You know, my father won’t talk about it. Not ever. He has nightmares still. I hear him sometimes. He came back over forty years ago. I think it was better when my mom was alive. And even for a few years after she died. Then it wasn’t. I think he’s just waiting to die.”

  Kellan ran a hand over his face. He focused on some unseen point. I knew that look. He saw something that wasn’t there. Some far-off battlefield. A place I could never go.

  Something slammed into place in my mind and heart as I watched him. I knew that look. My whole life had been framed by what happened to men who got that look. I couldn’t do this. Not again. Whatever passed between us a moment ago was gone now. It had to be. I knew how much scars like Kellan’s and my father could cost the people who loved them. Before I could even think, I edged away from Kellan.

  I stumbled off the bed and searched for my clothes. They weren’t here though. They were scattered throughout the house. I grabbed the first thing I could find, Kellan’s t-shirt. It smelled of him: musky, male, and clean. God help me, I inhaled it as I brought it down over my head.

  But I wasn’t too far gone. It was time to end this now before it hurt too much.

  “Mallory, stop.” Kellan had recognized some look on my own face. The color drained from his as he grabbed a brace from the side of the wall, threaded his arm through it and stood.

  “I need to go,” I said. “I can’t.”

  Kellan took a step toward me and I held up my hand, clawing at the air. I warded him off. It was too much. Too intense. Too fast.

  He took another halting step toward me. “What are you afraid of?”

  Unnatural laughter burst from me. “What? Everything?”

  How could he ask me that? As the blush of desire gave way to reason, I felt like I was waking up. Even though I’d never been to sleep. I’d made a mistake. Though it hurt my heart to admit it. Kellan was a mistake. If he had even a glimmer of what my father was inside of him, I couldn’t be a part of it. And if he didn’t, he was a Great Wolf. What was I thinking letting that club life into mine?

  “I don’t want to be another casualty of your war,” I said, regretting it for a fraction of a second. It seemed a poor choice of words, and then I realized it wasn’t. It was perfect.

  Kellan took another step forward. He towered over me, tall and strong even as he rested his weight on the metal crutch. God. He was whole and virile. Every cell in my body cried out to be touched by him.

  “I told you I’d keep you safe. I can keep it from touching you.”

  No, I thought. Just you, Kellan. As he stood there looking sexy and tortured, I knew I was in danger of letting him hurt me most of all.

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have led you on. Things are just, complicated in my life right now. I have responsibilities. I have my dad. I have Mitch. I need to focus on all of that.”

  Kellan cocked his head and smiled in that infuriating way I was learning he had. “You’re twenty-five, not fifty-five. You’re allowed to have your own life, Mallory.”

  “I can’t get mixed up in this. Jesus. Kellan, somebody came after me last night because of you.” I hated myself for saying it. Hated the flash of pain that went through his eyes. I knew he blamed himself for what almost happened. I wasn’t being fair. But I couldn’t play fair. Not now. Not when I’d almost let him in too close.

  “It’s okay that you’re scared
. You can be scared. Scared will make you smarter. But I can protect you.”

  And who will protect me from you? “It’s not just that. I don’t do well, with this stuff. And it’s easy for you to stand there and tell me I should have a life. You’ve seen my life. You got a front row seat to it the other day out on my lawn.”

  Kellan sighed, his shoulders sagged. “I can help you with that too, Mallory. If you’ll let me. I know a little something about guys like your dad. He needs help. He’s never going to accept it from you. I know why.”

  Anger rose deep within me. God, Kellan was doing the same thing my father did over and over. Telling me I didn’t understand. I couldn’t know. I knew everything that followed probably wasn’t fair. But I’d spent so long in defense mode, it was a hard thing to shut off. And the simple fact remained, I was better off steering clear of whatever mess Kellan’s club was in right now. I had almost gotten hurt by someone connected to him.

  “I’m out of here,” I said. “This was fun. More than fun. But it’s out of our system now. Don’t you think?”

  His eyes grew dark even though the smirk didn’t leave his face. God. It infuriated me even more. It was like he knew me. Like he was reading my fucking mind. All the more reason to back the hell away and fast.

  I turned on my heel and went out in the hallway. I found my bag in the middle of the floor and tore through it until I had my phone. How fast could Justin get here? If he wasn’t shitfaced after last night, he couldn't be that far away. I’d walk to the damn bus stop if I had to. Anything to put some distance between that piercing stare of Kellan’s.

  He’d gotten in too deep too fast. I couldn’t let my heart go there. He’d hurt me. He’d leave me. Or worse, he’d stay but pull away so far I’d never get to him. The way all the men in my life had done except for the one I was trying to raise.