Kellan

by Jayne Blue

  Mitch leaned forward, resting his chin on the palm of his hand. He had a sly smirk on his face that came straight from our mother. But he had mischief in his eyes that came straight from our dad. He was the best of both of them.

  “I don’t want that kind of trash for you.” The voice from the hallway stabbed straight through my spine.

  Dad stood leaning against the wall. His shirt was grass stained. He rested his thumb through his belt loop and held an empty beer bottle with the other. I didn’t know where it came from. I’d done a sweep of the house just two days ago.

  “Hey, Dad.” I turned to Mitch. He’d frozen to stone in his seat. We knew this version of our father well. He was prone to melancholy that usually ended with his worst benders. I thought about calling Justin and telling him he’d have to cover the Den by himself tonight. I didn’t like the sadness in my dad’s eyes. Usually, his were vacant. Dulled senseless by bourbon with a Bud Light chaser.

  “You need to stay away from those Great Wolves,” Dad said. He pushed himself off the wall and walked to the kitchen. His steps were sure and straight. “They ran this town into the ground.”

  “I know,” I said. “In the past, yes. But Kellan, the guys who are in charge now. It’s not like that anymore. You should see for yourself.” The second I said it, my blood ran cold. The last thing I needed was my father showing up where I worked. My eyes caught Mitch’s. He sucked in his breath and bit his bottom lip, fully aware of the pile of shit I’d just stepped in.

  “She’s right, Dad. You know that new gym down by the docks? They run it. It’s sweet. A bunch of the guys on my team work out there. You know they’re starting to bring in some badass MMA fighters to train there? There’s another one up in Grand City. They’ve got league titles and everything. I was actually thinking about asking you guys if I could maybe hang out there. One of my friends can get me in on a guest pass.”

  “I don’t want either one of you associating with those thugs. You know the kind of shit they do to friends of mine? You talk to Rick over at The Shires if you don’t believe me. Had his teeth knocked in more times than I care to mention. Shakedown shit. They’re bad news.”

  I reached over and smoothed my hand across my father’s shirt sleeve where it folded up. In his own way, he was trying to protect me. I missed that. I hadn’t seen it for a long time. But it also scared the hell out of me. He’d usually swing so far in the other direction afterward and leave chaos in his wake.

  And it was Mitch who ended up defending the club’s cause harder than I did.

  “No way, Dad. That’s over with. The Lincolnshire Tribune did a six-part article on it just the other month. Complete change of leadership in the club. They’re bringing in tons of new jobs to the city. We should go down to the docks. Maybe even tonight. Have you seen all the new construction? They’re trying to turn downtown into something like The Flats in Cleveland.”

  Thank God for Mitch. That was smooth deflection.

  My father waved a dismissive hand. “Lipstick on a pig. That’s just to take the heat off them. I’ve seen it a thousand times. I’ve been around longer than both of you. I’m sixty-five years old. Trust me. Bad news. And I won’t have my son and daughter associating with that. That’s not what I fought for. And your mother would be ashamed if she knew.”

  My heart twisted. He never talked about her. Not ever. A look passed between Mitch and me. Something was wrong.

  “Dad.” I slid off the bar stool and stood behind him. I put my arms around him and rested my chin on his shoulder. “Mitch is right. Let’s go out this weekend. Just the three of us. We can go down to the docks. There’s a string of new restaurants. My treat. What do you say?”

  I caught Mitch’s eyes over Dad’s shoulder. He looked down quickly and blinked back tears. As tough and grown up as Mitch tried to be, he was still a kid who missed the mother he never got to know. It hurt him deeply that our father wasn’t strong enough to talk about her with him. I tried to make up for it but it wasn’t the same. It could never be the same.

  “Sure,” Dad said. “I just need to go for a walk first.”

  “Dad.” Mitch popped off his stool. “Let me change out of my uniform. I’ll go with you.”

  “Nah. I’ll just be a few minutes.”

  My father tore himself out of my arms and walked out the front door. His shoulders sagging, Mitch slid back up on his stool.

  “He won’t come back,” he said quietly. “What the hell was that?”

  I shrugged. “He’s in there, Mitch. You know he is.”

  “Yeah. I don’t even know what that means. You remember him some other way. I don’t. Just like you get to remember Mom.”

  I didn’t care if he wanted to act grown up. I wasn’t having it. I walked around the counter and put my arms around him. It seemed I’d always be trying to hold together one man in my life or another. But Mitch mattered more than all of them.

  Just then, my phone vibrated on the counter, sliding across the tile right in front of Mitch. He saw the caller ID and his cockeyed smile crept back into his face.

  He grabbed my phone and handed it to me. “It’s your boyfriend, Mallory. Don’t fuck it up this time.”

  Chapter Twenty

  The vibe was off at the Den that night. Way off. Kellan wasn’t there when I got there. I’d chickened out when Mitch handed me the phone earlier this afternoon and hadn’t called him back. Not my best moment, I know. But I was making this up as I went along.

  I didn’t see Brax at the door, or Jeannette either. The bar was understaffed yet again and tension ran through every member of the M.C. I did see. E.J. paced near the door. Mac looked twitchy on the other end of the room while he sorted out some drama with the bussers.

  “Thanks for coming in.” It was Joker Smith running the show tonight. He too had a grim set to his mouth when he talked to me. I couldn’t remember ever not seeing him with a smile on his face. I wondered if Kellan was behind the bar in the secret room he’d told me about. I tried like hell not to keep looking over there.

  “Uh, sure,” Justin said, looping his guitar strap over his shoulder. “We, uh, we kinda get paid to be here.”

  Joker finally smiled but he still looked off. I wasn’t sure why they called him that. He had the worst poker face of any guy in leather I’d ever seen. So, maybe it was ironic. Joker’s eyes darted from Justin to me and back toward the door.

  “Where’s Jeannette?” I asked. A little of the color drained from his face and I knew I’d hit on something. My skin prickled with unease. After what nearly happened to me and the rumors I’d heard about the other girls, I didn’t like the vibe Joker or any of the rest of them were throwing off one bit.

  “She’s not feeling well,” he finally said. “She’s taking a few days off.”

  Anger rose up in me. Joker wasn’t telling us everything. I liked Jeannette. She was nice to me. Joker was serving bullshit and I wasn’t interested. I took a step forward and put a hand on his shoulder. I lowered my voice and looked him straight in the eye.

  “Did someone hurt her? Is that’s what’s going on? You better tell me. If the girls who work here are getting messed with, don’t you think I’m the first one who should be in the loop? The one time I walked out of here wearing the company logo, it didn’t end well. What gives?”

  Justin stepped forward so we were standing shoulder to shoulder. I’d told him nothing about what happened the other night. Maybe I should have, but I didn’t want to escalate it more than necessary. It could have meant nothing. But if Jeannette had something happen to her too, of course it meant something.

  “It’s cool,” Joker said. He put a hand up, trying to defuse Justin and me. E.J. and Tate sensed something and headed for us. They recognized Justin’s posture toward Joker as threatening. Well, it was threatening. Justin had his feet wide apart and his right hand curled into a fist.

  “Somebody wanna clue me in as to what the fuck’s going on?” Justin said, his lips pursed tight where he held a pi
ck between his teeth. He wasn’t one to back down, regardless of the fact three badass bikers were about to stand shoulder to shoulder in front of him.

  Bruno and Tim were already on stage. The crowd swelled toward it. We were almost twenty minutes past show time. Justin and I stayed in the shadows in the cramped hallway. I could hear the crowd start to clap in unison as it recognized the beat Bruno threw down.

  “Joker, do you guys have your shit under control? Are there going to be any more surprises when I try to go home tonight?”

  “What the hell are you talking about?” Justin put his body completely between me and Joker’s. Yeah. I should definitely have clued him in on what happened the other night.

  “Calm down,” Joker said. E.J. and Tate stood behind him now. They hung back, but they kept their eyes locked on Justin.

  “You’ve got nothing to worry about,” Joker said to me. “You just go out there and do what we pay you for.”

  My blood raged. I didn’t like his tone one bit. Where the hell was Kellan? Had I drawn club wrath somehow? God, I was such an idiot thinking getting involved with him and trying to work this gig would end well. I no longer felt bad about blowing off his last phone call. Whatever else was going on, if something bad was about to go down here, I deserved a heads up.

  “Justin, let’s go do our set. We can work whatever this is out later.”

  “Something wrong?” Kellan’s smooth, deep voice seemed to trickle down my back. I froze. My breath hitched and I slowly turned around.

  He’d come out of the back room all leather and smolder. With a quick flick of his fingers, E.J., Tate, and even Joker backed off. He raised a brow to me. He’d called off his dogs, my turn to call off mine.

  “Justin,” I said. “Can you go out there and cover the first song? I need five minutes with Kellan.” Though I desperately wanted to just forget the whole thing and go out there with him. Kellan couldn’t very well follow me on stage. But I couldn’t have it both ways. If I wanted to get a clue about the weird vibe in the club, I was going to have to talk to him.

  Justin let out a low sound, practically a growl. He stared at Kellan who just smirked back at him.

  “Yeah,” Justin said. “I can do that. Five minutes though. I may be prettier than you but at least half the crowd out there wants you.”

  I went up on my tiptoes and kissed Justin on the cheek, then shoved him toward the stage. He shot me a wink while I mouthed, “Be good.” His eyes widened, but he did what I asked. A crescendo of feminine screams blasted from the audience as soon as he stepped into the spotlight.

  “Why aren’t you answering my calls?” Kellan said. He hadn’t moved from his spot, leaning against the wall. He kept one hand in his pocket and ran the other one through his hair. A warm glow spread through me and my breath came hard. I exhaled steadily. No matter what else happened in the next couple of minutes, I still had to go out there and sing.

  “It’s just been a busy week.”

  “I need to know you’re okay,” he said, and I knew we were down to business. This wasn’t about hurt feelings or anything else. He was truly worried about me. That made everything much, much worse.

  “What happened with Jeannette?”

  Kellan let out a sigh. “She’s okay. She got followed home.”

  The air seemed to suck right out my lungs. She got followed home. Just like me. And whatever happened after that was bad enough to keep her from coming to the Den tonight. She loved it here. She was falling in love with Brax.

  “How bad?” I swallowed hard.

  “She’s okay. I swear. But I’m not going to lie to you and tell you everything’s under control. It isn’t. What I don’t know is how bad it’s going to get. I can try and keep you safe, if you let me.”

  “Right.”

  “Mallory.”

  I put a hand up. Everything my dad had said before I left tonight played back in my head. The club was bad news. Thugs. Except, I knew they weren’t. But it seemed like maybe the rest of the town hadn’t got the memo just yet. And as Kellan stood there with concern filling his eyes, my heart ached more than a little bit. He was worried about me. He was worried about his club. He’d been in my life for so short a time, but I felt like he’d shown me the man he really was. He was a warrior. He loved his club. He loved this town. And maybe even me.

  And I’d pushed him away. Twice. Dammit, why did I have to be such a sucker for men in need?

  “Kellan, I.” I took a step toward him. He still didn’t move. I don’t know what I meant to say. What could I say?

  Behind me, Justin let out a squealing guitar riff that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

  “I think maybe he’s trying to get your attention,” Kellan said, smirking.

  I turned. Justin kept playing, but his eyes widened at me. Behind him, the crowd started to chant my name.

  I turned back to Kellan. “I’m sorry I didn’t call you back.” I was. It was just so much easier when I didn’t have to look him in the eyes. When Kellan was standing right in front of me, I couldn’t deny how much I wanted him touching me.

  Kellan cupped his hand to his ear. It was impossible to hear over Justin’s wailing guitar and the crowd.

  I sighed and shrugged. I held the wireless mic in my hand and I switched it on. I mouthed the word, “Later,” to Kellan. He shot me that dead sexy wink and jerked his chin toward the stage. They were calling me.

  I turned away from Kellan and stepped out from the wings and into the spotlight.

  The crowd wanted rough and hard. Justin had them revved up and ready for trouble. Normally, it was just the kind of vibe I needed. But Kellan’s look was on my mind and in my sights. He’d moved to the bar and sat there, sipping a beer as he watched me. And I still didn’t like the edge I felt from every member of the M.C. Hell, maybe we should have stuck to a Barry Manilow medley tonight to keep this crowd from getting out of hand.

  Kellan’s eyes fixed on mine from across the room. He kept a casual posture with one arm across the bar, one foot resting on the rungs of a bar stool. He waved off one of the waitresses when she offered him a beer. She was new. I saw her shoulders sag as Kellan waved her off. That’s right, cupcake, just keep moving.

  It was so hard not to sing just for Kellan. I wanted to. I wanted to shut out everything around me and make it be just the two of us. I don’t know what I wanted from him. Wasn’t sure if I was ready for anything more than what we’d already shared. Because I was scared. Men leave me. Or they take so much from me it makes me feel hollow. I wanted to believe Kellan was different. I wanted to be brave enough to give him a chance. Maybe I could.

  Justin stepped into my line of sight. His eyes were hard. He knew my head was somewhere else. No. Not somewhere. He looked from me to Kellan and back again. Then he stepped in front of me and played to the screaming women in the front row. I turned and walked back toward Bruno, signaling him to play something even faster and harder next. Joan Jett, maybe. Lita Ford. Something to fill my head with noise and let me scream. I knew the crowd would be into it as much as I was. They always followed me wherever I took them. Tonight, I just didn’t want to take them too close to me.

  Bruno nodded. As soon as Justin stepped back to the center of the stage, we launched into “Kiss Me Deadly.” It was perfect. Raw. The crowd was on their feet and singing along to the chorus. I stood center stage and gripped the microphone with both hands and held it high. I closed my eyes and let Bruno and Tim’s beat take me someplace else.

  Justin leaned against me back to back and swayed when I did. He was solid, sure, always there when I needed him even though I hated having to. We’d been doing this since we were kids. My mom and his mom were sisters. Aunt Deb used to play piano for me as I worked out melodies and harmonies. Justin picked up the guitar for the first time when he saw how much attention I used to get. And here we were, back to back.

  I didn’t see it start. I don’t know if I could have unless I’d been knocked over the head with the first
beer bottle that flew. But I heard a voice cut through the rousing shouts of the crowd singing along with me.

  “She’s not your fucking whore!”

  I opened my eyes. My father stood at the end of the bar. Dammit! I’d never even seen him come in. His car keys jangled from his left hand so he’d probably staggered in loaded.

  He held a broken beer bottle in his hand, swinging the deadly, jagged edge wildly as E.J. tried to get a hold of him. Within a few seconds, the crowd turned on him and away from me. Fuck. I’d sensed them wanting something hard and raw tonight. The vibe reached critical mass as my father took another swing. They were going to rip this place apart if the bouncers couldn’t defuse it.

  I froze. Kellan moved in a blur. He shouted something to E.J. The whole thing turned into a free-for-all. There was nothing I could do from the stage.

  “Son of a bitch,” Justin said. “What the hell is he thinking?”

  “He’s not,” I said. I clicked off the mic and set it on the stage. “God, I’ve got to get to him. He’s going to get his ass kicked.”

  But my father was swinging wildly. Luckily, his balance was off just enough he didn’t hit anyone with the sharp end of the beer bottle.

  About a dozen brawlers in the crowd started to taunt him. Most of the crowd hung back and I was grateful for that. Some of them were used to just this kind of thing. But most of them weren’t. That’s not what The Wolf Den was supposed to be about. I tried to hop down from the stage but Justin grabbed my arm.

  “No way,” he said. “I’m taking you out the back way. You’re no good to him if you get your own face smashed trying to help him. You let the club handle it.”

  “Shit, Justin!”

  “I know. Just come on.”

  And then it was over. I don’t know what got through to my dad, but he dropped the beer bottle. He caught my eye over the crowd and he just looked sad. He threw his hands up and backed away toward the door. Thank God most of the crowd was mostly interested in the spectacle as opposed to throwing punches just for the spirit of the thing.