Mistrust
Page 38
I love those dreams, and I hold onto them; wishing they were real. But I’ve never had a mom like that, and my dad doesn’t talk much unless it’s with his fists, or to tell me how ugly and useless I am.
I feel him walking around the house. The floorboards creak and the vibrations from his footsteps come through the floor to where my bottom is. I close my eyes tighter and try and breathe as quietly as I can.
Please go away, Daddy. Please go away.
My heart is beating so fast. My hands are shaking and I’m trying really hard not to think about what’s going to happen the minute he opens the closet door.
Shhh, it’s so quiet. The only sound is my heart thrumming in my ears. Nothing else. Not a whisper, not a rattle…nothing.
Maybe Daddy’s left. Maybe he’s gone to the pub to have a few drinks. Maybe, just maybe, he’s left...forever.
I take a deep breath and just relax for a moment. My shoulders drop and I finally stop rocking.
Slowly I take my hands down from my ears, and I’m so happy because I can’t hear him yelling at me. I can’t hear him at all.
Gradually, I begin to unscrunch my eyes from the way I’ve tightly closed them. But something’s not right. There’s light coming into the closet.
I don’t even get a chance to open them fully before a rough hand reaches in, latches onto my ponytail and yanks.
“I told you it’d be worse for you if I had to find you,” Dad says, as he drags me out of the closet by my hair.
I’m desperately trying to hold onto my head so he doesn’t rip my hair out. My feet are trying to find traction on the dirty floorboards.
“Please, Daddy. Please. You’re hurting me,” I begin sobbing as I plead with him.
“Then your ugly ass should’ve come when I called you, you stupid bitch. You’re fucking worthless, you ugly idiot,” he says. But now his voice is calm as he continues to drag me toward the family room.
That’s when he’s most scary. When his voice is low and his eyes are filled with hate.
He throws me against the side of the sofa and takes a step back to look at me.
I look up and can see he’s the angriest I’ve ever seen him. “You dumb, ugly piece of shit,” he says, as he paces back and forth in front of me.
“Sorry, Daddy. Whatever I did, I’m so sorry.” I cower into myself, trying to make myself as small as possible.
“You’re just too fucking stupid, aren’t you?” he spits toward me as he brings his hand up to scratch at his chin.
“I’m sorry,” I say again. Tears are falling hot and fast down my cheeks. My head hurts from where he was pulling my hair, but I don’t dare try to rub the spot.
“You ugly fuck.” He kicks a boot into my leg.
The pain is instant and my leg feels like it’s shattered. “Please, Daddy,” I beg again, burying my face into my hands.
But ‘please’ never seems to work.
Nothing does.
I’ve just got to take the beatings, because that’s what stupid, ugly girls do.
Dakota’s story is something we hear about often. Sometimes, we may even know someone who’s experienced it; or you maybe a survivor yourself.
Please, find your strength and know there’s always help.
I need to say thank you to the most incredible people who’ve been through this journey with me.Debi Orton, for being a terrific editor and fixing all my Aussie slang I tend to use.
Mel Lazar, you’re so much more than my friend. You’re my beautiful friend who did first round edits of Mistrust and gave me the most honest of feedback.
Shaneen Murphy, my first proofreader, I hope you love Dakota and Reece as much as I do.
Cheryl Riddell, my second proofreader and someone who’s invested so much time in me.
Mandy Furneyvall, my third proofreader who’s been terrific in catching the last of the errors.
Book Cover by Design. Kellie always makes the most beautiful of covers for me. Mistrust is of no exception. Perfect.
Give Me Books, Kylie always finds the time to give me to promote my cover reveals and release day blitz.
Integrity Formatting. Tami is so accommodating in everything I need. She goes out of her way to help.
Jodi Perry. My sounding board. Whenever I get stuck or whenever I just need to vent, she’s always there and has my back.
My family. The support you’ve given me on my journey is nothing short of beautiful.
But most importantly, to my readers. Every time I release a book, I’m always nervous on the response I’ll get from you. I wait for aftermath, but all I’m shown is the most beautiful of messages and reviews. Thank you. It’s because of you, I know that I can write any subject and you’ll accept it.
Ugly
*This is a dark YA/NA standalone, full-length novel. Contains violence and some explicit language*
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to see.
If I were dead, I wouldn't be able to feel.
If I were dead, he'd never raise his hand to me again.
If I were dead, his words wouldn't cut as deep as they do.
If I were dead, I'd be beautiful and I wouldn't be so...ugly.
I'm not dead...but I wish I was.
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Chef Pierre
Holly Walker had everything she’d ever dreamed about – a happy marriage and being mum to beautiful brown-eyed Emma - until an accident nineteen months ago tore her world apart. Now she's a widow and single mother to a boisterous little 7-year-old girl, looking for a new start. Ready to take the next step, Holly has found herself a job as a maître d' at Table One, a once-acclaimed restaurant in the heart of Sydney. But one extremely arrogant Frenchman isn't going to be easy to work with...
Twenty years ago, Pierre LeRoux came to Australia, following the stunning Aussie girl he'd fallen in love with and married. He and his wife put their personal lives on hold, determined for Pierre to take Sydney's culinary society by storm. Just as his bright star was on the upswing, tragedy claimed the woman he was hopelessly in love with. He had been known as a Master Chef, but since his wife’s death he has become known as a monster chef.
Can two broken people rebuild their lives and find happiness once more?
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Smoke and Mirrors
Words can trick us.
Smoke obscures objects on the edge of our vision.
A mirror may reflect, but the eye sees what it wants.
A delicate scent can evoke another time and place, a memory from the past.
And a sentence can deceive you, even as you read it.
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Grit
***Recommended for 18 years and over***
Alpha MC Prez Jaeger Dalton wants the land that was promised to him.
Sassy Phoenix Ward isn’t about to let anyone take Freedom Run away from her.
He’ll protect what’s his.
She’ll protect what’s hers.
Jaeger is an arrogant ass, but he wants nothing more than Phoenix.
Phoenix is stubborn and headstrong, and she wants Jaeger out of her life.
Her father lost the family farm to gambling debts, but Jaeger isn’t the only one who has a claim to the property.
Sometimes it’s best to let things go.
But sometimes it’s better to fight until the very end.
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Yes, Master
**** THIS PROLOGUE CONTAINS DISTRESSING CONTENT. IT IS ONLY SUITED FOR READERS OVER 18. ****
ALSO CONTAINS M/M, M/M/F, M/F AND F/F SCENES.
My uncle abused me.
I was 10 years old when it started.
At 13 he told me I was no longer wanted because I had started to develop.
At 16 I was ready to kill him.
Today, I’m broken.
Today, I only breathe to survive.
My name’s Sergeant Major Ryan Jenkins and today,
I’m ready to tell you my story.
A Life Less Broken
***CONTAINS DISTRESSING CONTENT. 18+***
On a day like any other, Allyn Sommers went off to work, not knowing that her life was about to be irrevocably and horrifically altered.
Three years later, Allyn is still a prisoner in her own home, held captive by harrowing fear. Broken and damaged, Allyn seeks help from someone that fate put in her path.
Dr. Dominic Shriver is a psychiatrist who’s drawn to difficult cases. He must push past his own personal battles to help Allyn fight her monsters and nightmares.
Is Dr. Shriver the answer to her healing?
Can Allyn overcome being broken?
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My Life for Yours
He’s lived a life of high society and privilege; he chose to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a Senator.
She’s lived a life surrounded with underworld activity; she had no choice but to follow in her father’s footsteps and take on the role of Mob Boss.
He wants to stamp out organized crime and can’t be bought off.
She's the ruthless and tough Mob Boss where in her world all lines are blurred.
Their lives are completely different, two walks of life on the opposite ends of the law.
Being together doesn’t make sense.
But being apart isn’t an option
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HiT Series Box Set
HiT 149
Anna Brookes is not your typical teenager. Her walls are not adorned with posters of boy bands or movie stars. Instead posters from Glock, Ruger, and Smith & Wesson grace her bedroom. Anna’s mother abandoned her at birth, and her father, St. Cloud Police Chief Henry Brookes, taught her how to shoot and coached her to excellence. On Anna’s fifteenth birthday, unwelcome guests join the celebration, and Anna’s world is never the same. You’ll meet the world’s top assassin, 15, and follow her as she discovers the one hit she’s not sure she can complete – Ben Pearson, the current St. Cloud Police Chief and a man with whom Anna has explosive sexual chemistry. Enter a world of intrigue, power, and treachery as Anna takes on old and new enemies, while falling in love with the one man with whom she can’t have a relationship.
Anna Brookes in Training
Find out what happened to transform the fifteen-year-old Anna Brookes, the Girl with the Golden Aim, into the deadly assassin 15. After her father is killed and her home destroyed, orphan Anna Brookes finds herself homeless in Gulf Breeze, Florida. After she saves Lukas from a deadly attack, he takes her in and begins to train her in the assassin’s craft. Learn how Lukas’s unconventional training hones Anna’s innate skills until she is as deadly as her mentor.
HiT for Freedom
Anna has decided to break off her steamy affair with Ben Pearson and leave St. Cloud, when she suspects a new threat to him. Katsu Vang is rich, powerful, and very interested in Anna. He’s also evil to his core. Join Anna as she plays a dangerous game, getting closer to Katsu to discover his real purpose, while trying to keep Ben safe. Secrets are exposed and the future Anna hoped for is snatched from her grasp. Will Ben be able to save her?
HiT to Live
In the conclusion to the Anna Brookes saga, Ben and his sister Emily, with the help of Agent rescue Anna. For Anna and Ben, it’s time to settle scores…and a time for the truth between them. From Sydney to the Philippines and back to the States, they take care of business. But a helpful stranger enters Anna’s life, revealing more secrets…and a plan that Anna wants no part of. Can Anna and Ben shed their old lives and start a new one together, or will Anna’s new-found family ruin their chances at a happily-ever-after?
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Binary Law (co-authored)
Ellie Andrews has been receiving tutoring from Blake McCarthy for three years to help her improve her grades so she can get into one of the top universities to study law. And she’s had a huge crush on him since she can remember.
Blake McCarthy is the geek at school that’s had a crush on Ellie since the day he met her.
In their final tutoring session, Blake and Ellie finally become brave enough to take the leap of faith.
But, life has other plans and rips them apart. Six years later Blake and his best friends Ben and Billy have built a successful internet platform company 3BCubed, while Ellie is a successful and hardworking lawyer specializing in Corporate Law.
3BCubed is being threatened with a devastatingly large plagiarism case and when it lands on their lawyers desk, it’s handed to the new Corporate Lawyer to handle and win.
Coincidence or perhaps fate will see Blake and Ellie pushed back together.
Binary Law will have Blake and Ellie propelled into a life that’s a whirl wind of catastrophic events and situations where every emotion will be touched. Hurt will be experienced, happiness will be presented and love will be evident. But is that enough for Blake and Ellie be able to live out their own happily ever after?
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Table of Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Preview: Ugly
Also by Margaret McHeyzer