by Dahlia West
They slept like that, all night, she supposed, because when she finally woke in the morning, he was still behind her, still holding her. Cassidy didn’t quite remember her dream, but she had the impression that it had been a good one.
Chapter Nineteen
‡
SAWYER WOKE IN the morning with Cassidy still in his arms and was reluctant to let her go. She turned to face him, still naked, still a sight to behold with mussed hair and no makeup. He kissed her gently.
She sighed. “We could stay in bed all day,” she suggested. “Just this once.”
“I’d like to, but we’ve got to get ready. I’m only going to get to see this five times in my life, and I don’t want to miss a second of any one of them.”
“Five times?” she asked, sitting up and pulling the sheets over herself.
“Gabe,” he reminded her.
Dakota considered this. “What about Dakota?”
Sawyer grinned. “I think we all know who she’s going to marry. I always wanted a little sister.”
She nodded. “You all are so close.”
He shrugged and set his feet on the floor. “That’s family.”
“Five times, huh?” Cassidy replied, getting off the bed and dragging the sheet with her.
He was oh so tempted to yank it away.
“So all of you are going to get married? Every one?”
“Of course,” he told her, lifting the neatly pressed suit from where it hung in the closet.
“And not a single one of you will ever get divorced?”
He gave her a dark look. “That’s an ugly word. And no, it will never, ever happen. There’s no such thing as divorce in our family.”
She frowned. “What about cheating? When you get tired of her?”
Sawyer paused and looked at her askance. Something in her eyes was trouble. Had she been cheated on? Had her heart broken? Was that why she was so closed off, so unwilling to take a chance on something new? He was tempted to set the suit down on the bed and draw her into his arms, but he didn’t want even the smallest thing out of place for Seth and Rowan’s wedding day. He had to settle for casting her a meaningful look. “Cassidy, there’s no getting tired of someone you love.”
She looked doubtful, so doubtful that he immediately crossed the room and lifted her chin with his finger, forcing her look him in the eye. “We don’t cheat, Cassidy. I don’t cheat. Period. And I want to make it clear that while you’re with me, it’s not okay to be in someone else’s bed, too.” He brushed that same finger over her now mostly faded bruise. “Not that I think you’re stupid enough to go back to him.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“Well, it sure as shit wasn’t a car accident,” he replied. “You don’t have to tell me right now, but you’re done lying to me, understood?”
Her eyes widened a bit, and she hesitated.
“I mean it, Cassidy, no more lies. I’d never lie to you.”
He waited. He wanted the truth, the whole truth, but he realized it would do no good to keep pushing. He certainly wasn’t going to beat it out of her or give her any kind of ultimatum. He wanted her here, at Snake River, and he was prepared to let her keep her secrets for a little while longer to make that happen. She couldn’t hold out forever, though, not with him. The sooner he learned the truth, the sooner they could put it behind them and move on.
“Are you going back to the rodeo?” she asked suddenly, surprising him.
Sawyer’s brows knitted. “The rodeo?”
“Now that everything’s settled? With your father. Are you leaving?”
“No,” he said firmly. “I’m staying. For good.”
She craned her neck to look up at him. “You were gone a long time. You liked it, right? The women and—”
“Cassidy the only thing I liked was seeing the country and getting to ride. I’ve seen all I want to see out there at this point and I’m still riding, every single day her at Snake River. I’m home, Cassidy. And I’m not leaving.”
She was silent a moment before she pushed on his chest and climbed out of bed. “Okay,” she told him. “I believe you.”
Sawyer watched her pull on one of his shirts and a pair of Dakota’s shorts and head next door before he disappeared into the bathroom to shower. There wasn’t much time to waste as he toweled off and buttoned down his crisp white shirt. The deep-red tie that Rowan had bought for him didn’t look bad at all, and he checked his cuffs to make certain his lucky horseshoe links were fastened properly. The overall effect wasn’t half-bad, if he did say so himself.
Outside, Seth had already arrived and was standing underneath the large cottonwood tree in the driveway. He looked nervous, fiddling with his tie and plucking at the button on his shirt. Sawyer’s instincts took over, and he strode to Seth to straighten his tie for him.
As he retied the knot, Seth eyed him warily. “You’re not going to do anything stupid today, are you?”
“Like what?”
“Like hide the rings? Or replace Father Michael with a donkey? Or stand up when he asks if there are any objections?”
“The donkey’s not going to ask, Seth.”
“I’m serious!”
Sawyer gripped his brother’s shoulders and looked him squarely in the eye. “Father Michael is fine. The rings are in my pocket. They’re not going anywhere until you’re ready for me to hand them to you. And Rowan is already at the church, waiting on you to make an honest woman out of her and put her back in the town’s good graces. Nothing’s going to go wrong today, Seth. I won’t let it.”
Seth blew out a long breath and nodded. “I can’t believe I’m the first.”
Sawyer laughed. “I have to say I’m jealous you beat me down the aisle. I always thought I’d go first.”
Seth blinked at him. “You?”
Sawyer scoffed. “Oh, thanks, bro. You’re saying I’m not good enough for anyone? That I wouldn’t make a good husband?”
“No! I mean, yes! I mean…I didn’t know you cared.”
Sawyer shrugged as though it was no big deal and brushed off Seth’s lapels. “Doesn’t matter,” he said. “It’s your day now. Enjoy it.”
They turned to see Mac at the fence of the horse paddock, holding Willow’s hand and pleading with her not to get her dress dirty. Seth headed down the steps to catch up with them.
As Sawyer watched him go, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of longing in his gut. His whole life he’d played the clown, making his family laugh even when he didn’t feel like laughing himself because that’s what they needed, that’s what kept them together, made them stronger. Seth took hold of his soon-to-be-official stepdaughter into his arms and twirled her so that the hem of her dress spun out. Watching him with the little girl made Sawyer ache for more than just being Willow’s crazy uncle.
He felt empty, hollow, like he was wearing a mask for everyone else’s benefit. Seth had sacrificed for them, for all of them, had made no time for women or relationships, and yet one still had come into his life. And Rowan was amazing, a nurse and a mother, and a woman who took no shit from Court, either. Sawyer had met few women he respected as much, except Dakota.
He wanted what Seth was getting. He’d wasted too many years on the road, looking after Court when he really only wanted to be home, working his land, finding a woman, building a family. Few people would guess it was so important to him, but after losing his mother, his family had become the most important thing to him, and when he’d lost his father, Sawyer had vowed that not only would he not lose even one more person, but that he would make his family bigger…and hold on to them with everything he had.
As he stood there, the Vasquezes’ front door opened and Cassidy emerged, clad in a blue dress that he knew matched her eyes even though he wasn’t close enough right at the moment to see them. He already had their exact shade memorized. As she walked toward him, the two ideas, family and Cassidy, seemed to merge in his mind. He could do far worse than Cassidy Conroy. Indeed, he m
used, perhaps he could do no better.
She was beautiful, with a shrewd intelligence behind those blue eyes. She devoured books like air or bread, like she needed them as much just to simply exist. She was so guarded though, so closed off from the world and everyone around her. Sawyer decided at that moment that no matter what else he did, he’d solve the mystery of Cassidy Conroy, about what made her so determined to keep him at arm’s length.
She had a fear of intimacy that grated on him. Somewhere along the way she’d learned not to trust other people, and she held on to that fear with a fierce sort of determination. She was protecting herself, but from what, he wasn’t sure. He vowed to keep chipping away at her though, to figure out what was real and what was just a façade. And when he finally discovered the real Cassidy Conroy, saw her true face, if he liked what he saw, well, then he was going to keep her. Forever.
“You’re beautiful,” he told her when she got close enough. And he believed it was true.
She smiled. “Thanks. You look good, too.”
“Ready?” Sawyer asked, offering her his arm.
She linked her arm through his and nodded.
She better be, he thought.
Chapter Twenty
‡
CASSIDY HAD ALWAYS known Sawyer Barlow was as hot as they came in Star Valley—anywhere, really—but the way he wore that suit was giving her hot flashes and heart palpitations. She liked him dirty, but Lord did he clean up well, too. The sun glinted off his dark, wavy hair and his golden-brown skin. All that half-Latin swagger when he walked in his polished Tony Lamas was enough to make her want to go jump in the Snake to cool down.
Or take him back to the bunkhouse to heat up.
Several yards away, Walker emerged from the Big House, clad in his very own freshly pressed suit. He smiled at Willow and gave her a wave, but he froze when he caught sight of Dakota standing by Cassidy’s Mercedes. The look on the man’s face went from friendly to white-hot fury instantly. He stormed down the steps and crossed the driveway in just a few strides, bearing down on Dakota so hard and fast that it made Cassidy cringe, worried for the girl.
Dakota saw him but didn’t seem to be intimidated in the very least. How she could keep herself from fleeing in terror, Cassidy would never understand, because if Walker Barlow was coming at her wearing that look on his face, she might pee her pants.
Dakota merely raised one sarcastic eyebrow.
“What are you wearing?” Walker demanded.
Dakota grinned. “A dress. I know you’ve seen them before. On other women.”
“Take it off!”
The woman laughed, and Cassidy couldn’t contain her own shocked giggle, which she hid with her hand because Walker was so clearly angry.
“Right here?” Dakota teased.
Something flickered in Walker’s eyes, a look that Cassidy recognized because she’d seen it so often in Sawyer. If Dakota wasn’t careful, she was going to end up on the ground, dress over her head, with Walker on top of her.
“Take it off, Dakota. Go inside and change.”
“I will not,” Dakota shot back.
“You can’t wear that,” Walker declared.
Dakota snorted. “Well, there’s no time to change, Walker. And if we don’t leave now, we’re all going to be late to the church!”
“But the reception is at The Spur,” he argued.
Dakota shrugged. “Then I’m sure I won’t have any problem finding someone to dance with.” She turned, opened the door to Cassidy’s car, and slid effortlessly into the backseat.
“Dakota!” Walker bellowed. “I’m not fini—”
Walker may not have been, but Dakota certainly was, apparently. She slammed the door right in his face and locked it. The click echoed in the air around them, and Cassidy was certain the eldest Barlow’s rage was about to boil over. She had no illusions that a man like Walker wouldn’t just rip the door off the car, if he had a mind to.
His huge biceps flexed, visible even underneath the expensive suit he was wearing. For a breathless moment, Cassidy thought he might do just that, but after a few seconds, Walker finally turned and stalked toward his own truck, eyes hard, fists curled.
Beside Cassidy, Sawyer made a clucking noise and shook his head. “That girl’s looking for trouble,” he mused as he watched Walker’s tires spit gravel while driving out toward the highway. “She better be careful. Sampson’s got nothing on Walker when he’s pissed.”
“Sampson?”
Sawyer turned and grinned at her. “The Angus bull out in the east paddock. Dakota’s waving a red flag right in Walker’s face, and he’s on his way to getting rip-snorting mad about it.”
Cassidy bristled, indignant for Dakota. “She’s an adult, Sawyer. She’s a grown woman. Walker can’t keep thinking of her as a little girl anymore. She’s not his kid sister.”
Sawyer snorted. “Trust me, Walker knows she’s a woman, and he really knows she’s not his sister.”
“Then why is he pitching a fit about the dress?”
He gave her a pointed look. “Because it’s one thing to see the woman you want every day, out here at the Snake, where no one else can get a look at her. It’s another thing entirely to have other people eyeballing what’s yours.”
Cassidy looked down at her own dress, which was a bit longer than Dakota’s but still strapless and still hugged her body in the same way. “But you’re not worried about me,” she said, peeking up at him underneath her eyelashes to gauge his reaction.
He smirked down at her. “Princess, I don’t care who looks at you. Any time I want to lift that skirt and stake my claim, I can and I will.”
She shivered at the thought, and though she didn’t want to think too hard about whether said claim was temporary, the idea that she was his right now set her heart knocking and her thighs tingling. “So why doesn’t Walker do the same?” she asked, trying to keep the breathiness out of her voice. Staying on topic was probably a good thing, because the bunkhouse—and Sawyer’s bed—were tantalizingly close.
At that Sawyer frowned deeply. “Walker’s got his own way of doing things, in his own time and on his own dime. He can’t be rushed or pushed or goaded into making moves he’s not ready for.”
“Well, if he doesn’t get ready, fast, he’s going to lose her. She’s too young and too beautiful to be alone in a town like this. Someone’s going to snatch her up.”
He smiled. “And take her to a cabin in the woods?”
Cassidy couldn’t help but wonder what her life would’ve been like if Sawyer had taken her there, how much pain and humiliation and unpleasantness she could’ve avoided if Sawyer Barlow had thrown a rope—his reata—around her and made her his wife the minute he came back from the rodeo.
“Walker’s not a stupid man,” Sawyer told her, interrupting her daydream. “I don’t know what’s going on in that head of his, but I’m sure he’s calculated the risks of losing Dakota but still decided it’s not the right time. I don’t know why, and it would do no good to ask him. Dakota’s going to have to be a little more patient, if she wants him, and he’s going to have to get a little impatient, if he doesn’t want to lose his chance.”
He opened the passenger door of her Mercedes for her, and Cassidy slid into the seat. Behind her, Dakota scoffed.
“Can you believe him?” she asked Cassidy after Sawyer had closed the door to walk around to the driver’s side. “He didn’t say I looked pretty. He didn’t say he liked the dress. He just told me to change! Unbelievable!”
Cassidy turned in the seat and watched Dakota pluck anxiously at the hem of her dress.
“What a waste,” Dakota said quietly. “An absolute waste of time.” She looked up Cassidy. “And your money. I’m sorry. I’ll pay you back.”
Remembering Sawyer’s words, Cassidy cast a sympathetic look toward Dakota. “The dress was a gift. There’s no paying it back. And just wait. Be patient, Dakota. He’s like a boulder, a hard man to move.”
Dakota sn
orted. “The boulder part’s right. That man is as dumb as a rock.”
Cassidy considered it briefly then asked, “Is he worth having, Dakota?”
“Yes,” the younger woman said without hesitation.
“Then give him the time he needs.”
Dakota turned to gaze out the window, presumably at the cloud of dust her would-be lover had left in the wake of his hasty exit. “I don’t understand why he needs time.”
“Me, neither,” Cassidy said as Sawyer opened the driver’s-side door.
The conversation between the two women fell silent as he climbed in.
As Sawyer drove them to Saint Joseph’s, Cassidy wondered at Dakota’s words. Cassidy herself didn’t understand why Walker was waiting. Dakota wanted him; he wanted her. What could be simpler? Cassidy also didn’t understand what Sawyer saw in her that made him want to move forward. Sawyer saw past all the pageant queen titles, to the other parts that Cassidy had long since deemed nothing special, but apparently, when he looked at her, he saw something altogether different. It was curious. And confusing. And terrifying. And Cassidy wondered what the hell it was.
*
THE CHURCH WASN’T full. Far from it, actually. The Barlows and the Archers, it seemed, hadn’t invited much more than just their families. Everyone sat up front, filling the first rows of pews, though, making it seem like an intimate affair.
Cassidy and Dakota sat together, behind Walker and the rest of the Barlows and Vasquezes. Cassidy got the feeling that Dakota was giving Walker the finger by refusing to sit even in the same pew. A metaphorical finger, of course, since they were in a church.
The organ music started, and a little girl Cassidy recognized as Court and Rowan’s daughter traipsed down the aisle carrying a basket of flowers and positively beaming at the crowd. Cassidy was struck by the similarities between herself and this little girl who was the center of attention. And the differences. Willow Archer’s smile seemed warm, genuine. She was happy.