by Dahlia West
Sawyer followed with Emma Archer on his arm, and the two of them started down the aisle themselves. If Cassidy hadn’t known that Emma was married to Troy Hollingsworth, she might have been insanely jealous. They looked good together—of course, Sawyer would look good with anyone. As they passed, he winked at Cassidy, though, and she blushed, not at the gesture but at the fact that people had seen and were now peering at her closely. She ignored them with a practiced air.
The vows were genuine and obviously heartfelt. Cassidy could see what Sawyer meant when he’d said divorce wasn’t a possibility in the Barlow family. Looking at Rowan and Seth now, it was impossible to see how such a thing could happen. She’d never seen any man look at a woman with such love and devotion, and Rowan, for her part, had trouble looking at anywhere but her husband-to-be. Willow stood between them, though, not off to the side like an afterthought or a potential nuisance.
Seth held one of the little girl’s hands while her mother held the other, the adults only letting go to exchange the rings. The kiss was slow, lingering, with Rowan practically clutching at Seth’s lapels, seemingly unwilling to let him go. There was a slight murmur in the crowd, but none of the Barlows seemed to notice or care. Dakota sighed wistfully, and Cassidy patted her arm.
“You have yours,” Dakota said reproachfully.
Cassidy stilled. Did she have hers? She supposed she did. For now. It wouldn’t last, and she was tempted to tell Dakota that, to make her feel better. What Dakota and Walker had—or would when he finally got his head out of his ass—that would last forever. Cassidy and Sawyer were two ships passing, or two shooting stars, burning brightly but destined to fade.
The truth would come between them eventually.
Ceremony over, everyone piled into their cars and headed across town to The Silver Spur, which was technically closed in the afternoons but booked for the reception as one of the few places in Star Valley that could accommodate a large group.
It looked different with all the lights on and the floor swept clean. The tables now had tablecloths draped over them, and a buffet was laid out on the bar rather than the usual beers and shot glasses.
Sawyer wasted no time sweeping her onto the dance floor, and Cassidy slipped easily into the memories of easier, less complicated times. They weren’t the only ones—even Rowan’s father and Dakota’s mother were taking a turn around the polished wooden floor.
Cassidy watched as Paul Renner approached Dakota herself, smiling as he crossed the floor. He was handsome—not Barlow handsome, but certainly a catch in this town, especially since he worked in medicine. She was actually surprised he was still single.
“Do you want to dance?” he asked.
“Yes,” Walker snapped. “She does.” He grabbed Dakota’s hand and pulled her to the dance floor, leaving poor Paul behind entirely.
Dakota looked bewildered—so did Paul, actually—but neither of them argued with the large cowboy.
Cassidy watched as the two began to dance. For some reason she was surprised that Walker actually knew how. Somehow she’d pictured him in a loincloth and a club easier than a suit and a smooth two-step. She felt vindicated, for herself and Dakota. That dress had been a killer choice, and Dakota wore it as though it had been made just for her.
There was no beer in sight, but the champagne flowed freely. Rowan’s hand, though, fluttered absentmindedly to her belly, and she refused the glass her sister Emma was offering.
“Is she pregnant?” Cassidy whispered to Sawyer.
“Probably.”
She gaped at him, but he merely shrugged.
“We take what we want, Cassidy. As long as the woman’s willing to give it. We don’t give a damn about rules or polite society or our reputations. We never have. Family is what’s important. It’s all that matters. The rest of the world can go to hell.”
She gaped at him. “The cabin in the woods?”
“It’s real.”
“I know. Dakota told me.”
Sawyer put a hand on her knee. “Relax,” he told her quietly. “Seth never had to take Rowan there. In fact, no one’s used it in almost a hundred years.”
“Really?”
His grin widened. “We don’t have to. Women just fall at our feet now.”
She slapped his arm and scoffed. “Wow, though,” she said. “Two children by two different Barlows. This town…” She trailed off because she didn’t need to say it out loud.
Sawyer scowled. “We don’t care about this town. Shit happened, life’s messy, and we’ll protect Rowan—and the kids—from any asshole who’s got something to say about it. And Court might be a little raw about it, but he’ll have to learn to get over what he threw away. He fucked things up with Rowan, but he loves that little girl, and he’s doing what he can.”
They both watched as Court twirled Willow around the dance floor. He looked a bit scary with his crazy beard and hair hanging in his eyes, desperately in need of a trim. He was grinning, though, from ear to ear, and so was the girl.
Cassidy turned to Sawyer to see him grinning, too. “You like kids,” she declared.
Sawyer nodded. “Love them, actually. Especially that one.”
“Do you want kids of your own?”
“Definitely. A ton.”
Cassidy raised her eyebrows. “A ton? A metric ton of children?”
He grinned. “If she could handle it, yes. But if not, I’d settle for five or six.”
“Five or six?!”
“I’d settle for five,” he insisted.
She laughed.
He frowned. “You can’t see me as a dad?”
“No, I could. I can also see your poor wife, waddling around like a heifer for her entire life. Five or six kids. Yeesh.”
“Watch how you talk about my beautiful, pregnant wife, Princess.”
“With her huge belly and bare feet?”
He pulled her close and tightened his grip, grinding into her. “Are you trying to turn me on? Right here in public?”
She blushed and cleared her throat, certain people were staring at them. When she looked around, though, no one was paying attention.
“You don’t want kids?” he asked.
Cassidy hesitated.
“Really?” he asked. “None at all?”
“No, it’s just—I mean, yes. Probably. I don’t…I don’t know. No one’s ever asked me that before. I thought I’d have some. I mean, I thought he’d want some.”
“Who?” Sawyer demanded suddenly.
Cassidy was startled by the sharpness of his tone.
“Wayne Horvath?” he pressed.
“No! No, not Wayne Horvath,” she lied. “It was never serious with him. I…I just meant, in general. I thought my…husband…whomever he was…would want kids. But, wow, five kids.”
Sawyer lifted her chin with his finger. “I haven’t asked you to marry me, Cassidy.”
Something about his tone made her belly flutter. She swallowed hard. “Barlows…Barlows take what they want, right?”
“Only if she’s willing.”
For a brief moment Cassidy was unable to stop herself from imagining such a scenario. Sharing Sawyer Barlow’s bed forever, giving him all his five (maybe six) children. A man who loved kids, loved his family, knew how to cook, had a well-stocked library. She could do worse, a whole lot worse. In fact, it seemed to Cassidy Conroy that Sawyer Barlow might actually be the perfect man. He made her laugh, made her scream (in bed), and yeah, sometimes she wanted to smack the cocky grin off his face, but on the other hand Wayne Horvath didn’t seem to be sold on the idea of modern dentistry.
“Careful, Princess,” Sawyer warned quietly.
She shook herself and looked up at him. “About what?”
“I might have to take you to the cabin.”
“You said only women who were willing.”
He grinned. “You look like you’re about halfway there already. And after a few days tied to my bed, I think you’d be convinced.”
&
nbsp; “Don’t you dare drag me off to some rickety, spider-filled cabin in the woods somewhere, Sawyer Barlow!” she snapped. While trying very hard not to imagine being tied to his bed.
He leaned down. “Don’t worry, Princess. We know from experience that you won’t make it past the parking lot.”
Embarrassed, she narrowed her eyes at him. “Don’t call me that. I don’t like it.”
“Hmm,” he merely replied.
“I’m serious. Don’t call me that. I don’t like it.”
“I don’t think you know what you like, Cassidy. Other than me. I could help you find it, though.”
She sighed, irritated. “Is it in your pants?”
“Maybe. You want to look? It’s a place to start, anyway.”
She pushed his chest and started to walk away. He pulled her back.
“You don’t need a man, Cassidy.”
“What do I need?” she snapped. “I suppose you know.”
He smiled down at her, not giving up the goods.
She sighed again. “Tell me. If I don’t need a man, what do I need?”
“Yourself.”
She snorted. “Very profound. Myself? What am I supposed to do with myself?”
He suddenly stopped dancing, and Cassidy stumbled at the abruptness of it. He caught her arms and held her upright. “It’s a good question, isn’t it?” he asked. “What are you supposed to do with yourself, Cassidy Conroy?”
Sawyer let her go and left her entirely, walking away toward the bar across the room.
Cassidy turned and headed into the bathroom for lack of anything better to do but chase after him like a lovesick puppy. She washed her hands and stared at herself in the mirror. What was she supposed to do with herself? Who was she, anyway? And why the hell was Sawyer Barlow the only person in the world who seemed to realize that she didn’t know?
Chapter Twenty-One
‡
SAWYER HAD ALL his friends and family gathered round for only the second time since he’d come home from the rodeo. A funeral and a wedding. Talk about cycles. Watching Seth and Rowan, who was so obviously pregnant, made him keenly aware of how badly Snake River needed to take a turn on the Wheel of Fortune. Their luck had to change, it just had to. Looking now at his brother’s long-awaited happiness finally coming true, Sawyer felt that things were going to get better.
Court looked a little unsettled as he watched his old flame and his brother forging a new fire of their own.
Sawyer couldn’t begin to understand the pain Court must feel. The youngest Barlow was trying hard to turn his life around, but it had been too little too late for him and Rowan to get back what they had. Sawyer had fibbed a bit when he’d told Cassidy that Barlows didn’t cheat. Court had. Often. And broken Rowan’s heart in the bargain. But Sawyer had been there, seen the road Court was on. It had been mostly the booze and the big head Court had gotten from being a star.
Now that they were both back home, Sawyer was starting to see the old Court emerging. He didn’t want to offset the progress by letting the man sit in isolation while his ex and their brother started a new life, though.
Sawyer kissed Cassidy and drew her away from the dance floor toward the bar. He lifted a glass of champagne off the counter, handed it to her, and took one for himself. Dissatisfied with merely drinking the stuff, he cleared his throat loudly and asked for attention.
Seth, several feet away, made a grimace.
Sawyer winked at him. “I always wanted a sister,” he declared when the crowd had quieted down. “And so you can imagine how happy we all were when Court was finally born.”
Everyone laughed, and Court flipped him off, even though Sawyer thought he detected a slight smile underneath the wild-man beard he seemed to be cultivating these days.
“No, but seriously. We’re all so happy to have you in the family, Rowan. You, and Mac, and Willow. You’ve brought a wonderful blessing into our lives with that little girl. She’s an amazing blessing, and we’re looking forward to more.”
Rowan blushed deeply and ducked her head. The small gathered crowd clucked at her teasingly.
Mac’s jaw dropped as he turned to look at his youngest daughter.
“Now, Mac,” Sawyer added quickly. “You can’t fault her. When a Barlow man sees what he wants, there’s no stopping him. Seth, honestly, it could not have happened to a nicer guy. Our brother,” he told the crowd, “had just about given up on love for the sake of the family, for the future of Snake River. He sacrificed for us, more than anyone should ever have been expected to. So please, Mac, don’t begrudge him too much. Seth deserves this, more than anyone else I’ve ever known.”
Mac looked from his daughter to his new son-in-law, hesitated, then extended his hand to Seth.
Everyone gave them a round of applause as the two men shook on the blending of the two families.
Cassidy finished her glass and set it back down on the bar. She eyed him suspiciously.
“What?” he prompted.
“I thought you were just a goofball.”
“I am,” he conceded. “But that’s not all I am. There’s more to me than practical jokes and sarcasm.”
“There is, isn’t there?”
Sawyer smiled at her. “You don’t get to be the only one with hidden depths.”
Cassidy stopped dancing and looked for all the world like she might turn and run.
He drew her in close so she didn’t have the chance. “You’re not going anywhere,” he whispered, wrapping his arms around her. “This is where I want you. Right here. Right now. I don’t need any more than this. Not yet.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
‡
CASSIDY SHIVERED AS she looked up at him. He would want more. Soon. And she was a fool to think it would end with just a tumble in his sheets. Hidden depths. And Sawyer Barlow wanted to get to the very rock bottom of them, she knew, which was problematic at best. It was the very worst kind of catch—he wanted to know more, but if she told him, told him everything, told him the truth, he wouldn’t want to know her at all. He’d banish her from his ranch, from his bed, from his arms entirely, and Cassidy wasn’t sure she could take that.
Selfishly, she wanted him. She had him now, and she didn’t want to let go (or be pushed away.) She wanted Sawyer Barlow for herself. She shook her head. “There’s nothing more,” she insisted. “Just this. Just me.”
“Bullshit.”
“No, really, I—”
“I don’t buy that, Cassidy. I don’t believe it, and I never will.”
“I don’t want to fight,” she whispered.
Sawyer’s brows knitted together tightly. “We’re not fighting.”
But they would. Oh, they would. And Cassidy just wanted this, just this, just Sawyer with his arms wrapped around her, dancing at The Spur.
She leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder, clutching him tightly as though he might disappear like smoke in her grasp. “Just dance with me, Sawyer,” she whispered. “Just dance with me.”
If he wanted to argue, he didn’t. He did as she bade and pulled her in close. He was warm and solid and smelled better than any man ever. He tasted good, too. She knew that from experience, but she didn’t kiss him, precisely because she wanted to. She wanted that slow, gentle kiss that only Sawyer Barlow could deliver, and she wanted to be alone with him when he did it.
She saw Dakota across the room, being pulled out of the door by Walker and into the parking lot. Cassidy gave the girl a huge grin before they passed through the door to the outside. As they danced, Sawyer brushed her cheek where her bruise had long since faded, and Cassidy closed her eyes and smiled at his gentle touch. He had the remarkable ability to make her forget about everything, to make time stop. To Cassidy, they were the only two people left in the world, and that was just fine by her.
*
IN THE MORNING Cassidy found Dakota in the kitchen with Sofia. The smile on Cassidy’s face slowly faded though when she realized her newest and only fri
end looked absolutely miserable. Cassidy waited, vibrating with curiosity, until Sofia carried a basket of biscuits into the dining room for breakfast.
“What happened?!” Cassidy hissed quietly.
Dakota shrugged, but she looked angry and upset. “Nada. He didn’t even kiss me.”
“What?! You went home together!”
“But we argued in the truck on the way back to Snake River.”
“About what?”
“The usual. How to run the place. Now that we’ve got the Folly, we need to make a move to late-season calving, but Walker won’t even discuss it. It’s a risk, yeah, but one we need to take.”
“A risk? Why is it a risk? There are a few ranchers who do it. Not us, but I know the Thayers do. And the Kilchers.”
Dakota bit her lip but didn’t answer.
Cassidy thought she might already know the answer. “Does this have anything to do with why all of you work the ranch by yourselves? Without any farmhands?”
Dakota blinked at her then said, “We’re kind of…broke.”
Cassidy stilled. “What do you mean broke? Like broke broke? What? How? This is Snake River! How can you be broke?!”
“Bad winters, too many lost cattle.”
Cassidy put her fingers to her lips, staring at Dakota in disbelief. Everyone had been stretched thin with the bad weather—even Conroy Cattle was tightening its belt. “The south pasture,” she said quietly.
Dakota looked up at her. “What? How…how do you know?”
The truth was, Snake River’s south pasture was a larger spread than all of Conroy Cattle put together, but it was all open land, without the protection of the mountains farther north. If the weather was good, the grass got so high that the extra-fat cattle brought in top dollar at the meat market. When the weather was good, the south pasture was worth its weight in gold. But in winter, a hard winter, several hard winters…
“Sawyer told me,” she lied smoothly. “He mentioned it when he was walking me around the place.”
Dakota sighed. “So we need to innovate, change the way we do things. And I’ve got a lot of ideas, but he doesn’t want to hear them. I think he just wanted to stick his tongue in my mouth and shut me up. I guess I can be Walker’s girlfriend or I can be his barn manager, but I can’t be both.”