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by Frost Queen Tomiko [MF] (epub)

  They'd left the Dunnies' village early in the morning, eager to get to Frostspire before any inkling of the Oni's defeat reached Queen Tomiko. It had taken half the day to get to the mountains, and the other half to climb to where she was now. It would be night soon, and fortunately Taiko was in a good place to set up camp.

  She turned back to the wide, shallow gorge she'd just reached. There was enough space here for dirt to have collected and trees to grow, with a stream running down the far side. It was the true end of the desert, and a welcome sight.

  Of course, the rest of her friends needed to reach it first. And Akio, she supposed.

  "Hey!" she yelled down the slope, where Haru was helping Yumi over a crevice. "It's really nice up here! Hurry up, and we might even find some fresh berries!"

  "Shut up!" shouted Yumi, "I'm going as fast as I can!"

  "Throw us down some if you see any!" yelled Miyoshi.

  "Shut up all of you!" grumbled Akio. "Do you have any idea how far your voices are traveling?"

  Taiko was sure that everyone would have loved to tell him where he could stick his attitude, but he was right, and they made the rest of the climb in relative silence. Yumi had to be hauled up the ridge with a rope, as they'd done several times earlier, and when she was in range Taiko took her arm and pulled her to the top of the ledge. She had to catch her as she almost fell, but they'd made it. About half-way, at least.

  "Okay," she said when Haru, the last of the party, appeared in the gorge. "Chiyo, get us a fire going. It's going to get chilly once the sun goes down. There's plenty of wood, thankfully. Miyoshi, scavenge for anything edible in the woods. We should have plenty of rations, but there's no reason not to save them if we can."

  "Haru, clear us an area to put our blankets down. Yumi, you keep a watch out. Akio... just try not to bother anyone. I'll scout out as much as I can before it gets dark. Right! Break!"

  Taiko walked off at a brisk pace before anyone- mostly Akio- tried to argue, tightening her cloak around herself. Her old shirt was lost somewhere in the desert, buried under the sand. Miyoshi made due with some cloth and sewing supplies from the Dunnies, turning the cloak she'd gotten from the Punnydins into a kind of traveling dress. It was cut short, with grey pants underneath, and despite Miyoshi's best efforts it was a plain little thing. It was decent for mountain climbing, at least, protecting her from cuts and scrapes that her skirt wouldn't have.

  Taiko headed up the gorge until she was out of earshot, then pulled Minoru's crystal out of her cloak.

  "Hey, are you there?"

  "I can't be much anywhere else," he said, appearing in front of her.

  Taiko continued walking, although not quite as fast.

  "I've been thinking for the past two days," she said. "I need to know more. Not just about Tomiko and her kingdom, but about the worlds, and why they're fusing."

  Minoru sighed.

  "I'm sorry, I still don't know. I've been trying to figure it out myself, but the truth is my sight just doesn't extend very far. I can't just summon an answer; I need to find more information, just like you."

  "Yeah... but there's still plenty you know that you haven't told me. And I think it's time you did."

  "What do you want to know?"

  "That's what you need to tell me. I can't even ask questions until I at least know what's basically going on."

  "Well, that's a tall order. You're basically asking me to explain-"

  "Minoru," she said, stopping and looking him in the eyes. "I don't know if I can do what you said when we first talked. About making this world- Akio's world- or the world they make together- a better place. I had to... I had to kill that woman. I let her fall. I let her fall to her death. That's... that's not me, Minoru. I said I was going to change Akio's world, but it's changing me too."

  "And what else is going to change? What's going to happen to Umai? I want to make things better for the people here, but I'm scared. I can't ever show the others, but I'm scared that it's too much for me to fix by myself. If there's a way to keep my world from being corrupted, from becoming like this, I have to know. And that means you telling me whatever parts of the story you know I'll never think to ask about."

  Minoru looked shamefully to the side. Taiko had nothing to offer him, no way to threaten him, and she certainly wasn't going to trick him into telling her anything. But she sensed that he was a good person, and if he had the empathy to feel what Taiko was feeling right now, he wouldn't be able to refuse her.

  "How old do you think your world is?" he asked.

  Taiko was caught off-guard by the question

  "Uh... I guess, pretty old. Maybe thousands of years. They say that it's been centuries since the last goddess came to-"

  "About ten years."

  Taiko blinked, too stunned to respond right away.

  "What? That's impossible. I'm older than that!"

  "You are. So is Yumi, and Chiyo, and Miyoshi. And so are Akio and Tomiko. But this world is younger than any of you."

  "That doesn't make any sense," she said. "How can we be older than the world?"

  "Think back. Do you actually remember anything before about ten years ago? Do you remember being a child? Do you remember having parents, or growing up, or anything like that?"

  Taiko tried to think about it, but her head was instantly lost in a strange haze. It felt weird, uncomfortable, to try to summon up any memories to answer him with.

  "Yeah, that's why I'm not generally more forthcoming," he said. "You're not supposed to remember. You're supposed to feel like you do, in a vague sense, but you're not supposed to question it."

  "Let's say I believe you," said Taiko, clearing her head and leaving her memories alone. "Where was I before the world existed? And how did I wind up here, with this weird memory thing going on?"

  "You were in another world. A much, much older one. A much different one, too. You take for granted how much your world cares about you. How important you are to it, even when it's making you suffer. In that one, you were one of ten billion souls, the whole lot of which could be wiped from existence on any day and the universe would never even notice."

  "Of course, the scientists of that world eventually grew powerful enough to force the issue with it. They discovered a way to tap in to the fundamental nature of the universe, and they tried to change it. They tried to create destiny and force the universe to have a sense of justice and meaning. They mostly just broke it."

  "The whole thing came apart at the seams. It was too big and too inflexible, and instead of flowing smoothly across it the scientists' tampering tore through it, ripping it to pieces and nearly causing everything to collapse into nothingness."

  "Fortunately, they found a way to save it, or at least save the pieces of it. They couldn't put them back together, but they did manage to stabilize the fragments as they broke off. Those pieces molded themselves to the people who broke off with them, making a world that suited their ideas of justice and meaning."

  "Your world got lucky. You must have been children then. You created a sweet, innocent, childish little world where you and your friends got to be the heroes in-between eating sweets and singing songs. Tomiko and Akio's world, well... they took some issues with them when they came aboard, and the world suffers for it."

  Taiko found herself with her back against a tree. She was done scouting for a while.

  "What kind of issues?" she asked, trying not to be overwhelmed. She had a million questions now, but she could never ask that many. She had to ask some of them, though.

  "You have met Akio, right? Granted, he wasn't like that before. The world- the fantasy it created- changed the person as much as the person changed it. It made you who you wanted to be. Akio was a nobody. An unsure, unassertive little man with a crush on a girl who barely noticed him. Tomiko... I don't know. She was beautiful and people loved her, but I don't think she was ever happy. I don't think she thought she deserved to be happy. The world she helped create didn't know any better, I guess."<
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  "And before you ask again- no, I still don't know why your two pieces of the universe are merging again. All of the pieces should be falling away from each other, growing more and more different, more and more incompatible. You world definitely doesn't mesh with Tomiko's. I don't even know who you are."

  "But you knew who they were," said Taiko.

  Minoru looked surprised to see her figure out some piece of his puzzle that he was hoping she'd be too dumbstruck to notice.

  "Yeah, I did. Taiko- there's something I need to warn you about. When you get to Frostspire, I'll help you get the blood and get out. But I'm not going to let Akio get his hands on Tomiko and do whatever horrible, perverted things he has in mind for her."

  "Of course not," said Taiko, puzzled by his sudden intensity. "I wasn't going to-"

  "I'm serious. Very serious. I won't let it happen."

  "I understand," she said.

  Minoru vanished, fading slowly. Taiko still had questions, more than she could stand, but she also had a lot to think about as it was. She'd touched some nerve with Minoru, not that he couldn't have let her know that, but she recognized when a conversation was over. She could call him again later. Maybe by then he'd have figured out how to tell her whatever was bothering him.

  Taiko walked back to the camp, finding a fire with Yumi and Miyoshi sitting by it. It was in a spot nestled between the trees where it would be hard to notice, probably a smart decision in case anyone was patrolling the mountain.

  When Taiko came close enough she heard Miyoshi's voice, singing gently. It was such a beautiful sound, despite the sadness in her melody. Taiko knew why she was singing. For the first time she let herself remember being tied to the bench while that man had his way with her. She remembered being bound to the cross, sentenced to die, and having two more men decide that they would rather enjoy themselves with her mouth than show mercy on her in her final hours.

  She'd lied to Minoru, hadn't she? Was it really Satsujin's death that she couldn't live with in this world? Taiko needed something to wash it away- to wash it all away, and here was Miyoshi, letting it pour out of her soul. Maybe it could take Taiko's grief with it as it drifted away over the mountains. She leaned up against a tree and listened. Maybe there was something beautiful enough to wipe away the evil after all.

  Chiyo sat by the fire she'd just started, gazing into the flames. A book was at her side, but as much as she tried she couldn't focus on it. The book- taken from Ishi-jo- detailed some basic facts about Queen Tomiko and her lands. Chiyo meant to read it, to prepare herself better so that they wouldn't be relying entirely on him when they got there, but her mind refused to take any interest in the tome.

  Sleeping the night before had been easy. She was exhausted, and the music and energy of the Dunnies' celebration had thrown her into a haze that she could let her head get lost in. But over the long day of traveling her memories of the day before had only grown sharper. Getting immersed in her own thoughts used to be natural to her. Now the quiet of her own mind only invited awareness of a sick feeling that wouldn't go away

  Chiyo stood up and started wandering. Voices behind her asked where she was going. She might have mumbled something about a walk. She needed to clear her head, but nothing was working. She could still feel that man's dick inside of her. She could still taste cum. Every time she closed her eyes she felt hands on her body.

  "Chiyo?"

  The sound startled her, and even when she turned around to see that it was just Haru her heart was still beating fast.

  "Are you looking for something? It could get easy to get lost out here, especially with how dark it's getting. I mean, I know you're used to adventuring, but you just looked a little distracted..."

  She had gone a ways from the camp. She was alone out there with him, without her staff, and she kept expecting him to leap at her. There was still rope hanging off of his belt from the climb, rope that he could tie her up with. She would be as helpless in his hands as she had been in Akio's, and he could satisfy his urges with her while she struggled helplessly to stop him.

  "Are you alright?" he asked. "You look..."

  Chiyo knew that she was hiding nothing. He could see how scared she was, but he didn't want to say it. He looked at her, almost hurt, almost stepping closer but stopping himself.

  What was she thinking? Why was she surprised that he wasn't attacking her? This was Haru. Of course he wasn't there to rape her. But the thoughts wouldn't go away, and instead of being relieved she felt anxious and bothered. She didn't know what it was, but it felt more wrong for him to be worried about her than the image of him forcing himself on her did.

  "Haru," she said. "I... could you do something for me?"

  "Of course," he said, seeming happy that she was asking. "What is it?"

  Chiyo looked around, then started down the gorge, putting more distance between herself and the camp.

  "Over here," she said. "Just a little bit."

  Haru followed her until she'd found a place where another gorge joined the one they were in, going up the other a ways until they were well isolated from the camp.

  "This is good," she said quietly, nervous about what she was going to ask him to do.

  Chiyo put her wrists together and held them out to Haru. They were shaking slightly, but that wouldn't matter soon.

  "That rope... I need you to use it. To tie me up, I mean."

  It was dark now, but there was enough moonlight for her to see that confusion on his face.

  "What? Why?"

  "I don't know. Please, just trust me."

  Chiyo didn't know if she trusted herself. She didn't really understand why she was asking for this, but some part of her thought it was the right thing to do.

  Haru took the rope and unwound it. He held her hands gently while he laid the coils across her skin. He kept it loose enough not to hurt or pinch her, but once he cinched it and tied his knot it felt secure. Chiyo gave it a test, and found it plenty tight enough to keep her from getting free.

  "See that branch?" she asked looking up. "Tie it to that."

  Haru still looked uncertain, but he threw the rope over the thick limb and hauled Chiyo's arms into the air, over her head.

  "A little more," she said, now shaking badly enough that she could barely keep her voice steady.

  Haru gave it another tug, and Chiyo was lifted onto her toes. He tied the rope in place, ensuring she would be at his mercy.

  "Okay," he said. "Can you explain this to me now?"

  "Not yet. You need to..."

  Chiyo had trouble asking him to do it. It was humiliating. But it was how it worked. He needed to do it. She just wished she didn't have to ask him.

  "Take my clothes off," she said, not able to look him in the eye when she did.

  "Chiyo, what are you asking me to do?"

  He sounded as scared as she was.

  "I wouldn't ask you if it wasn't important," she said, her voice cracking. "I just need this. Please?"

  There was a stillness that lasted for too long, then a tugging on her clothes. He pulled her shirt over her head, bundling it at her forearms where it wouldn't go past the ropes. Her pants fell to the ground.

  "Everything," she said, knowing he would stop at her underwear if she didn't.

  His hands brushed against her skin as he stripped her bra and panties from her. She was nude again now, the moonlight no doubt reflecting off of her naked breasts while Haru watched. She forced herself to open her eyes. Haru still looked worried, but he couldn't help but stare a little at her body.

  "Take off your belt," she said, "And hit me with it."

  "What? No!" he said, stepping back.

  It sounded so strange to hear him refuse, even though Chiyo knew it was an unnatural thing to ask him to do. It only made sense to her because of some voice in her head that she couldn't explain, demanding that she suffer.

  "I promise," she said. "I'll explain later. I promise this is right. Just this one time, don't ask why."
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  Haru slipped his belt free, doubling it over. Chiyo closed her eyes and bit her lip, waiting.

  The belt hit her, slapping across her ass. It was nothing compared to the beating she'd taken in Akio's dungeon, but it hurt enough to make her body tense. Haru waited before swinging again, a little harder this time. She resisted the urge to cry out, not wanting anyone to hear. She wound up squealing instead, feeling her arms start to burn.

  "Don't stop," she said when the next strike didn't come.

  Haru beat her with his belt, but after a half dozen more lashes Chiyo no longer felt it was enough.

  "I... I need a gag," she said. "You can use my socks. Stuff one in my mouth, and tie it there. Then I want you to hit me harder. Until I can't stand it anymore."

  "But- how will I know when to stop?" he asked. "I still don't understand."

  "Just do it for a while," she said. "Do it until I'm too weak to struggle much."

  "Chiyo, I could really hurt you. I couldn't stand doing that."

  "You won't. I just need to see..."

  Chiyo squirmed, wondering if Haru thought her body looked as good bound like this as Akio and his minions had.

  "I'll be able to explain in just a little bit. Please hurry, before I get too scared."

  Haru took her sock and held it to her face. It smelled awful, and as soon as she opened her mouth she regretted telling him to do it. The gross, dirty sock went between her teeth and onto her tongue, Haru carefully pushing every part of it into her mouth. Her jaw had to stretch to fit it all, but it would do the job, at least. Haru tied his own bandanna around her head, and when Chiyo moaned she found herself effectively muffled. She wouldn't even be able to tell him to stop now, and the ache already settling in her jaw was a punishment in itself.

  That what this was. It was a punishment. Haru hit her across her back, and her gag was immediately put to a real test. This time it stung, deeply, and if she hadn't been tied she wouldn't have been able to bring herself to stand and bear it. Chiyo panicked when the next blow game, as hard as the last; she had no way out now, and this was going to hurt. A lot.

  She moaned and whined as Haru whipped her, begging him to stop. He didn't, of course. She'd seen to that. She didn't deserve to be able to stop it. Chiyo knew what the feeling was that kept her awake was now. It was guilt. Guilt over what, she didn't understand. What had she done wrong? She'd been the one tortured and raped. All she knew is that she felt ashamed for it. She felt like she deserved to be punished.