Don't Fear the Reaper

by Michelle Muto

Spare me the pep talks, demon.

  Besides, staying angry or upset wasn’t helping. I was wasting time. Instead, I’d make the most of whatever time I had left and find Jordan. She was my first priority. No, wait, survival in this forsaken place was. If I didn’t survive, I couldn’t be sure that my sister was okay and safely in heaven.

  The irony made me laugh. Survival. Here. Of course, survival here didn’t mean the same thing, either.

  Focus, Keely.

  I took another mind-clearing breath. Okay. What did I have to go on? Jordan had been here less than an hour ago. Either I trusted Daniel enough to believe he’d really help me, or I struck out on my own. Going it alone was pointless since I had no idea where to find Pete. I also didn’t have a firm grip on how things were done in purgatory. Daniel, on the other hand, did. I nearly laughed at the idea of trusting him, but the fact was, I needed him.

  Voices echoed from around the corner. I thought of all the earthbounds out front and how they’d all glared at Daniel—and me. I blinked, unable to move. Their voices drew closer, one of them distinctly Metal Girl’s. Three against one didn’t sound like my kind of odds.

  Move! My brain screamed. Move!

  I turned to walk through the wall, but remembered what Daniel said about how electrical wires jolted him. Instead of making a break for the door, I froze.

  I sucked at being dead. Without Daniel, I was going to get my ass kicked.

  Sure enough, Metal Girl and her friends rounded the corner. They saw me and stopped, grins forming on their faces. Sizing up the situation, I opted for the wall and electrical shock. That’s when Metal Girl kidney punched me. Before I could collect myself, she was on me, clawing and hitting. We tumbled to the ground—hard. A sharp bolt of pain shot up my arm as my elbow met the corner of a planter.

  Daniel had mopped the sidewalk with one of her friends and barbecued the other. Clearly, this had pissed her off.

  Her hands thrashed about, striking my face and I tasted blood on my tongue. My attempts to push her away failed. I grabbed at her face and tugged, ripping two silver rings from her lower lip. She cried out, giving me time to shove her off me. We both jumped to our feet. She spat blood on the ground and wiped at her lip. A streak of red smeared across her cheek. I landed a clean shot to her nose and another punch to the side of her head. Snarling and wild-eyed, she ran for me. I sidestepped, grabbed a hold of her hair and swung her around me. As I let go, I reached in and took hold of more facial metal. I tossed the earring that’d been attached through her left eyebrow onto the ground. She kicked, catching me in the thigh. I clocked her in the face once more and she staggered backward.

  No way had I come this far to suffer another level of humiliation.

  Great, Keely! Now your self-preservation steps in? Where was it when you were slicing your wrist?

  “Bring it on,” I coaxed.

  The shuffle of footsteps nearby reminded me Metal Girl had backup. So far, I was clearly kicking butt, which meant Metal Girl’s friends might help her at any minute. Guys thought cat fights were fun, but they wouldn’t let me continue to beat the crap out of her, no matter how much I wanted to. With each punch I let go of some of the anger and frustration that had been building inside me.

  The sky above danced with shadow. A dozen or so ravens flittered above us, cawing and briefly eclipsing the sun. Some of the birds landed along the edge of the building, pecking at each other as they jockeyed for position. Others continued their riotous cries. A tendril of black shadow whirled past me, smoldering wisps spreading out and curling into the form of a reaper—Banning. He lifted his hood and reached behind his duster, grasping a dull gray-brown swirl of smoke that materialized into a scythe.

  Metal Girl screamed. Her friends turned and ran, leaving her to her fate.

  Someone grabbed me from behind, pinning my arms at my sides. Hot breath whispered in my ear, “Easy, Sunshine. It’s just me.”

  The ominous reaper wielding the scythe in front of me seemed different than the Banning I knew. Darker.

  “Come, on, Keely. Chill. This is the other part of what Banning does,” Daniel whispered as he pulled me away. Grateful for once that he was with me, I didn’t resist. But, I couldn’t look away, either.

  Metal Girl’s bloodied and swollen lip quivered. “Don’t,” she pleaded. “Please don’t.”

  Vaguely, I was aware that I hadn’t said a word to Daniel. Other than the occasional shuffle of my feet as he attempted to guide me, I remained frozen in place.

  “Maybe you shouldn’t see this.” Daniel whirled me around, dragging me toward the corner of the building.

  I stumbled, glancing behind as Daniel drew me protectively against him. He tried to cover my ears and I pushed his hands away. Not that it mattered. There wasn’t a chance of blocking out the screams.

  “I’m okay,” I said, pulling away. It felt good to be rescued. I told myself that’s why Banning and Daniel had showed up when they did. They cared about me. Now wasn’t the time to force the issue of being left alone. Who was I kidding anyway?

  Daniel’s expression said he wasn’t altogether convinced about my well-being.

  “I’m good, honest,” I told him. And in a way, I was better. Not about being dead, but at least now, I could move forward again.

  The ravens were raising a racket in the alley behind us. Enjoying the show, I suppose.

  “That’s a lot of freaking birds,” I said, rubbing my arm. Bending it hurt, and a sizable goose egg of a knot had already formed on the elbow. But it was exhilarating—I finally felt a different sort of pain. I reasoned it was almost like being alive.

  “Where were you, anyway?” I asked.

  Daniel’s eyes darted to the rear of the building and back to me. “Got to talking and asking about your sister. Next thing I knew, you were gone. Tim’s sort of chatty for an angel.”

  Tim was an angel? “Why is he at a morgue?”

  He leaned in wiped at the blood trickling from my nose. “To help keep the earthbounds from taking energy from the living. Even things out a bit. Sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, just peachy.” I touched my lip and checked my fingers for residual blood. “Angels and demons. You guys get along? I mean, isn’t that kind of like cats and dogs?”

  Daniel shrugged. “Not always. Hey, about earlier. I’m, well, sorry.”

  My eyes cut to the corner of the building. “Banning is forcing her into hell, isn’t he?”

  Daniel nodded.

  “Thanks,” I said.

  He frowned.

  “For bringing me here. For helping me look for Jordan.”

  “Look, Sunshine. Don’t get me wrong…” He sighed and his shoulders sagged. “You’d do anything for your sister, wouldn’t you?”

  I could have stated the obvious—that I’d killed myself because I couldn’t go on without her. Instead, I asked, “Do you have any family?”

  He eyed me with great suspicion. “My Mom.”

  “Would you do anything in the world for her?”

  Daniel looked away from me. “Been there, but yeah. You could say that.” He cleared his throat. “Listen, would you kill Pete if I you could?”

  Again, I didn’t want to state the obvious, so I nodded instead.

  “You’d do that, you’d take him out if I told you there might be a way?”

  I didn’t have to admit it. We both knew I’d kill Pete without so much as a single thought.

  “Seriously, it’d be what your Dad would refer to as premeditated, cold blood, and you’d become a demon like me.”

  My eyes sought his. Yeah. I guess I would be like him. “But, I did kill someone in cold blood. Me. Remember? I’m already condemned anyway, right?”

  “Yeah, about that.” He scrubbed his chin. “You ever read fables?”

  I had, but it had been awhile. Again, I nodded.

  “Did you ever read one about a scorpion and a frog? The frog offers the scorpion a way across the river and the scorpion stings him anyway?”
r />   I didn’t like where this was going.

  “And the frog asks the scorpion why? Because, now they’ll both drown. The scorpion says, It’s in my nature. I couldn’t help it. Well, that’s me. I tricked you today. I knew you’d want revenge for your sister’s death, so I did some demon voodoo with that kid’s video game as bait. I said I could find Jordan and her killer. The only truth in all that was that I do know where this Fagan guy is. I didn’t expect your sister would actually come here. Not after what happened to her. I guess she feels just as strongly about you as you do about her. I knew being here would make you think about her body, and after what her killer did to her, I was betting you’d want revenge.”

  I didn’t understand the problem. Sure, he’d tricked me, but it all worked out. “I don’t see a downside to this, Daniel. We just missed Jordan, but that doesn’t mean I won’t find her again. And I still would have gone looking for Pete—on my own if I had to. Revenge? Yes! He needs to pay for what he did to Jordan. Without your help, I probably can’t do much except burn his toast. I’m the new kid, remember?”

  Daniel glanced over his shoulder, hoping that Banning would show up, I suppose. “Not true. When it comes to Pete, you could do a few things to him, Sunshine. In fact, you have options. I think you need to understand what’s at stake here, but it’s got to stay between the three of us.”

  I waited patiently for an explanation.

  Daniel seemed uncomfortable. “I can teach you some things. And, you could shadow him. Never leave his side. It would eventually affect him, but it’d take time. Unless you chose to become a demon. That’s when the gloves come off.”

  He exhaled and rubbed at his temples, then mumbled something under his breath that sounded an awful lot like, “This good-guy crap really messes with my head.”

  “Huh?” I said. Good guy? “What does it matter, Daniel? I’m going to be a demon anyway. What’s the big deal?”

  I didn’t want to go to hell, but what other choice did I have? So far, I hadn’t gotten a single thing I’d prayed for, hoped for. Why start now?

  Daniel glanced around. “You’re right. Let’s drop it. What’s keeping Banning?”

  “I want to find Pete,” I said. No way was he getting off this easy.

  “No, you don’t.”

  I looked at him, incredulous. “You said...you just asked me...” Fatigue and frustration scattered my thoughts. “He tortured my sister, Daniel. You don’t know what it’s like. He ruined my entire family’s life. He took the one thing that meant the most to me. I hate him.”

  It was true. The only thing I hated more than what I’d done to myself was Pete.

  Daniel held up a hand, interrupting my rant. “Oh, I understand. I really do. But, trust me. As much as this pains me, just listen to Banning and do as he says. Stay low for a few more days.”

  I clenched my fists. “You don’t understand. You have no idea how I feel. My sister is dead, and he’s not even in jail. He’s under investigation, which means absolutely crap!”

  Daniel went on as though I hadn’t spoken. “I don’t hate you. Although at first, I did.”

  I blinked, fumbling for words that didn’t include Pete or revenge or Daniel’s lack of understanding.

  “Yeah, well, whatever.” I didn’t really hate him, either. He could be a jerk, but he’d helped me. Even if he stood in front of me and denied it until the sun set, I knew the truth. At least part of it. Besides, none of this changed anything. In a few days he would be escorting me to hell. If he even remotely liked me, he could help me find Jordan’s killer before then. But, if not, I’d hunt Fagan down myself if it took eternity.

  “Do you know why I didn’t like you?” he asked.

  “Because I took my own life?”

  “No. Because, like Mr. Manero, you got a second chance.” He closed his eyes and clenched his jaw.

  I waited. This had to be good. Me. A second chance. Right. If I’d gotten another chance I’d have reached the phone the other night or awakened in the hospital or a psych ward. Maybe Daniel didn’t get a good look inside drawer number nine.

  Daniel let out a heavy sigh. “You might not have to go to hell. Banning asked that you get a chance at redemption. If you pass, you go to heaven. If not…”

  He paused, hunting for the right words. “If you fail, he goes to hell with you.”

  I shook my head. “But why would he do that?”

  “There’s more to Banning than you know, but I promised to not say anything.”

  This made me want to laugh. “When do demons ever keep promises?”

  “Whenever it suits us.”

  “Why is it so hard to get a straight answer out of you?” I lightly pounded my fist on his chest. “And don’t you dare answer that with something ridiculous. I want the truth, Daniel!”

  He raised an eyebrow.

  “Answer me! I can’t believe Banning would offer such a thing. He doesn’t even know me. And besides, I thought suicide was a sin against my soul—I even heard you say it.”

  “Do I look like judge and jury? I’m just the hundred and ninety pound demon in the room.”

  “You’re impossible!” I turned to watch for Banning. I felt sick. “How can he make such a deal? It’s bad enough that I’m going to hell, but do I have to take someone else with me?”

  After a moment, Daniel spoke. “He’s basing his case on the one thing everyone involved knows is true—and that’s what really killed you.”

  That was easy. Blood loss coupled with an overdose of sleeping pills. “I already know what killed me, Daniel. Me. No one else.”

  “Yeah, well, Banning’s a reaper. Sometimes, they get these crazy ideas in their heads.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Banning appeared from around the corner, his duster billowing softly behind him. He no longer had his hood raised, and he’d returned the scythe back behind him, where I assumed it would remain unseen until he needed it again. In this world, I imagined he called for it a lot. He gave Daniel a hard glare, but when he turned to me, only concern and kindness shone in his eyes. I felt a small sting of guilt that we’d left him at the hospice center.

  “Are you okay, Keely?”

  “Yeah,” I said, lowering my head. I couldn’t look at him after I’d run off without telling him first. In hindsight, ditching him had been a stupid and selfish thing to do, especially after what I’d learned about the deal he’d made.

  He glanced at my bleeding arm and my torn pant leg.

  “So, I can still bleed. Who knew?” I scoffed weakly. I wiped at my arm. The pain—the physical part of it—made me feel like I belonged more in the world of the living than the dead.

  Banning lifted my chin, getting a better look at my busted lip. “You handled yourself pretty well back there.” He never mentioned how he had handled himself, never mentioned what he’d done when Daniel and I hadn’t been around to witness it. I guess banishing souls was just another day’s work for him.

  “Thanks,” I said. “For coming for me, I mean.”

  “Let’s get you back to the house.” Banning turned and casually walked away.

  Daniel hung back, letting Banning and me walk ahead. I’d gotten off easy, but I suspected Banning wouldn’t be as easy on Daniel later, once I was out of earshot. Neither of them said anything more, and I sensed the need to fill the space. Better to get it into the open now rather than later.

  “How did you know where to find me?” I asked as we waited for the right car to stop. I felt like such a screw-up—again.

  Banning scanned the road. “You’re not the only one who’s ever needed closure, Keely. A lot of people go to the morgue or to funeral homes, either for affirmation, or to wait for a loved one.”

  Banning finally spotted our ride—a white Ford minivan. Daniel made his way around to the other side, while Banning waited for me to get in before sliding through the front passenger door.

  I hadn’t been very cooperative and I wouldn’t blame Banning for being angry with me.
But, he didn’t seem angry. Just disappointed. “Why not send me to hell like you did that girl back there?”

  “Not that easy,” Daniel said, staring out the car window.

  Banning sat and listened. I hated that Daniel had been the one to answer. I didn’t like Banning’s continued silence. I hated being such a huge disappointment to him. That’s what bothered me the most. He understood why I’d done it, which made me all the more miserable for not telling him where we were going when we’d left the hospice center. To top it all off, he’d put up his soul for collateral on a bet he couldn’t win.

  “I’m sorry, we left you at the hospice center, Banning. Guess I’m still sort of freaked out. It’s not like I don’t know I’m dead. I’m not delusional. I know there’s no turning back.” I felt a tightening in my throat. “I mean, dead is forever.”

  “I understand, Keely,” Banning said quietly. “I’ve been where you are. Death can be difficult to accept.”

  I almost wanted him to be mad at me—even a little. This was a far cry from what my parents would have done. I would’ve never heard the end of it. “So that’s it? You’re not going to yell at me?”

  “Why would I do that?” Banning asked.

  “It’s because of the deal, isn’t it?” I blurted out. “Please don’t blame Daniel. Why, Banning? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Despite the hum of the motor and the outside noises, I could’ve heard a pin drop. A discomforting silence stretched between Daniel and Banning and I wondered if I should have said anything. Banning didn’t say a word. Not to me and not to Daniel. He just sat in the front seat, eyes forward. The dusty glint of late afternoon sunlight filtering through the windshield made him appear older than I imagined he really was, yet he was as handsome as ever. As I studied his expression, the lines in his face, I realized that for someone I should trust above anyone else in purgatory, for someone who’d risked everything for me, I knew next to nothing about him. Why had he made such a deal?

  I don’t know what you see in her, Banning...

  I was like you. I had a family...

  He had never explained it any more than that, leaving me to wonder what happened. How he died and how he became a reaper. The mystery that was Banning reminded me of an old book tucked into the farthest crevices of a library shelf; dusty and forgotten, his painful memories cast in ink and meant for no one else to see, but committed to fragile paper nonetheless.