Unbreak Me

by Alicia Cicoria

  I’m coming over.

  A: I have nothing to say to you.

  Being called an asshole wasn’t anything new. It’d spewed from Mac’s mouth often enough that I now found it as a compliment. But, not when it came from Amberly. I didn’t do the silent treatment. It put me on edge. She would have to talk to me at some point, I didn’t want that some point to be tomorrow when we were both at work, trying to focus on our jobs.

  On the drive to her apartment, I tried to figure out what Amberly was talking about. Nothing important came to mind. The accident? Was she talking about the accident that she was in? I hadn’t been there. I hadn’t signed a report. Frustrated, I hit my hands against the steering wheel. I couldn’t get my truck to barrel down the streets as fast as I wanted without getting a ticket. Obeying the speed limit was difficult. If I ever became a cop again, I’d be a little more lenient on those who went five miles over the speed limit.

  “Where is she?” I placed my foot against the door so Cricket couldn’t shut it in my face. My palms pressed against the door frame, I asked again. “Where is she?”

  Cricket’s face scrunched up, her body leaning against the door in an effort to shut it. “She doesn’t want to talk to you, Bryant.” Cricket’s eyes were filled with anger and resentment. If that was how upset she was, I couldn’t imagine what Amberly’s face was going to look like when I got past the door. “Tell me you didn’t do it.”

  “Do what? Listen, my parents never went to bed angry. That’s why they have lasted through decades of their marriage. She needs to talk to me. I can’t fix it if I don’t even know what she’s talking about. I have to at least try to get her to settle down.” It was true. The advice I’d gotten from my dad years ago, weighed heavily on me. I couldn’t be that guy that walked away and left things hanging. The longer Amberly thought I was an asshole, the harder it would be for me to prove her otherwise.

  “What do you want?” Amberly nudged Cricket out of the way. Hatred read across her face like a bad scene in a comic book.

  I removed my foot and pushed myself off of the frame. “I want to know what your text was about.”

  She let the door swing open, backing up into the apartment. Her expression didn’t change, her eyes wandering over my face. She sighed and turned around, walking to her room. I took that as a sign to follow.

  She shut the bedroom door behind me but moved as far away from me as she could. “Don’t act like you don’t know what my text was about. I’ve seen your signature before, Bryant. The one from the report that night matched it.”

  I threw my hands in the air, still not registering what she was talking about. “From what night? What accident are you talking about?”

  She pointed at her heart. “I believed you wouldn’t hurt me but this is the worst betrayal. How could you stoop so low? You knew about Haylie before I told you!” She screamed at me, her face turning a deep red color. I tried to get closer to her but she held her hand up. “Don’t come any closer. I don’t want you to touch me.”

  I used both hands and rubbed them over my short hair, clasping them together on top of my head. “I wasn’t there the night of Haylie’s accident. I don’t know how you got a report that said I was. I promise you I wasn’t there, Amberly. Please believe me.” My voice was breaking.

  She dug in her side table where her text books were sitting. She shoved the paper in my direction. “Then what is this? Are you telling me that someone copied your signature?”

  I studied the paper. Written in a scribbled mess was a recounting of the accident. The signature matched mine, but the handwriting didn’t. “Amberly, this isn’t my handwriting. The signature is mine but the rest of it is in someone else’s writing.”

  She didn’t believe me. I could see it in her face.

  “I swear to you I wasn’t there. Someone had to have traced my signature to this report.” I let the paper fall to her bed spread. I lowered myself and took my eyes off of her. “I am going to have someone look into this tomorrow. I’ll prove to you I wasn’t there. If I’m wrong, you can push me away but please don’t push me away right now.” I had never pleaded to a woman before.

  The hurt in Amberly’s eyes remained. My heart squeezed for her despair. I continued to talk, hoping I could say the right thing to erase the look of betrayal on her face. “Please, Amberly. I didn’t write that. I wasn’t there.” I didn’t know how else to get her to believe me so I started telling her of what I had found out when I was asked to turn in my belongings at my last job. “My old partner, Lucas, found evidence that someone had planted drugs in my squad car. They had run a drug test on me, choosing to let me go anyway because the department didn’t need the negative attention when the media ran the story. I went through my old files one weekend but didn’t find anything. It didn’t matter anymore because I didn’t want to go back. But, Lucas pried until he uncovered something. A lady, by the name of Sadie Wilcox had been arrested that same day. By me. She had outstanding warrants, nothing serious, but she planted the drugs in my car. Lucas thinks she was speeding so I would pull her over. Come to find out, the woman’s name isn’t even Sadie. She stole a deceased attorney’s identity and is now posing as my ex-wife’s lawyer.”

  She seemed receptive to what I was telling her so I continued.

  “Lucas thinks that my ex-wife hired Sadie to plant the drugs.”

  “Why?” She asked before I had a chance to say it.

  I inhaled a sharp breath and blew it out, resting my chin on my knuckles. “Because, Mac was entitled to half of my retirement but she could only cash out on it if I quit or retired. I wasn’t scheduled to retire for another twenty years. Lucas doesn’t know what Sadie’s intentions were when she first stole the attorney’s identity, but he thinks I was framed. Maybe this is another case.” I turned to her. She let herself ease down to the bed. Her hands were clasped in her lap.

  My movements were slow, testing the waters before I went full force against the storm. I covered her hands with one of mine and moved my thumb back and forth over the back of her hand. She didn’t flinch, her gaze fell to her hands, climbing higher until she was looking at me. She pressed her lips together, bringing them in like she wanted to hold her breath.

  “I’m sorry.” A whispered apology hung in the air, creating a cocoon around us.

  I pulled her closer to me, gripping the inside of her thigh. I brushed a few strands of her silky blond hair behind her ear. “I would never keep anything from you. Ever. I hope you know that. I promise you, I will never hurt you on purpose. If I had been there that night, I would have told you. And, I damn sure wouldn’t let someone who had been drinking off the hook. If you noticed the other driver was drinking, I would have too.”

  I couldn’t lie, her believing I would be capable of something like that crushed me. I wanted her to get the justice that she and Haylie deserved, it was sort of my idea in the first place. I glanced at the report again, shaking my head at the chaos my forged signature was causing. I didn’t want to believe that this went deeper than Mac trying to cash out on my retirement early, but it sure looked like it was so much more than that. I racked my brain, trying to come up with a viable reason why anyone would put my signature on that report. Whoever it was, knew damn well I wasn’t on duty that night. It had been so long ago, but I would have remembered assisting in a car crash where Amberly and Haylie were concerned.

  I kissed her forehead and wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. She was so fragile. A fragile woman who took forever to trust another person, yet she had trusted me without thinking. Something told her to trust me, so I had to concentrate on not ever taking that away from her.

  In my arms, her resilience faltered. She was growing weak by the second, believing me and my words. Words I stood behind. I smoothed down her hair, combing my fingers through it. A small sigh broke free from her lips and she curled into me as far as she could. Tilting her head up, she planted a kiss on my neck.

  “I’m sorry.” She said it again.

>   I squeezed her into a hug. “It’s okay. I would have done the same thing. We’re going to figure this out.” I promised.

  I needed her to know she hadn’t acted irrationally. At first, I thought she had. Then, I had seen what I couldn’t deny without proof. I could write the same words that had been written on the report a million times, and she would question if I had purposely written them differently. I needed something solid so she could feel safe again. All I had to do was get a copy of my time sheet. That would be more than enough proof.

  “Why would someone want to put your name on those records?”

  I shrugged. “I’m not sure. Someone who doesn’t want me to have any life left.” Mac’s words flashed through my mind at that moment. The words where she had called Amberly a ‘fuck buddy’. There was no way she wasn’t responsible for it. “Amberly, please believe me when I say that we will find out who is behind all of this. The wreck. The report. Everything. But, I can’t wish all of this to go away because without all of this I would have never found you.” I’d never said more truer words.

  “Who do you think is behind it?” Amberly asked.

  “I have an idea it’s my ex-wife. Seems even divorcing her can’t get rid of her.”

  Amberly pulled away to look up at me. “Thought she divorced you?”

  “Technicalities.” I stated before drawing her back into me.

  “Why would she go through all of this trouble?” Amberly’s words were muffled against my chest but I could still make out what she was saying. “Isn’t divorcing you enough?”

  I sat down on her bed and she sat beside me. “A long time ago I had gotten myself into a predicament. I started talking to this woman at work. It was similar to an emotional affair. I felt like a total jerk for it. I weighed my options, something I should have never done to begin with, but I did because things between Mac and I were becoming more foreign with each passing day. She found out. I ended it. We tried to work it out but, since the problems were there before I even thought to look at another woman, it was beyond repair. Still, I felt I owed it to her to continue to try. I sometimes wondered if she didn’t walk away sooner because she wanted to hurt me. She started bringing other women home. I did everything I could to bring us back to the beginning. Nothing worked. Before I knew it, she started hanging around my best friend more and more. I denied it for the longest time. Everyone else did too. Until they moved in together. I guess she couldn’t stand another second near me and wants to continue to make me pay for my one mistake. She’s doing everything she can. Turns out, before I had even met that woman, Mac had been having an affair on me the entire time. I didn’t find that out until a few months before I started working at Skrillex.”

  Amberly was silent for several moments. I hadn’t wanted to lay all of this on her. Not like this. I wanted Amberly to know every little thing about me. The good. The bad. The in-between. She deserved to know who I was then and who I was now.

  “I think she got her revenge. You’d think she would move on. She got what she wanted right? You really should stop letting her walk all over you. You’re worth more than that. We all make mistakes. We pay the price but that price shouldn’t be to be reminded day in and day out.”

  I lifted my head to look at her. I think I was falling more in love with her. “Are you sure you want to stick with me after all of this?”

  All I needed was that nod she was giving me. I tugged her closer, bringing my palm to rest on her cheek and kissed her with every single amount of passion I had left. “I promise I’ll never hurt you, Amberly. I’ll never look at another woman the way I look at you. If what we have starts to drive off-course, I’ll be the first one to open myself up and find a way to fix it. I’ll do whatever it takes.” I deposited another kiss on her lips.

  “I’ll do whatever it takes.” She whispered, repeating my words. “We’ve got this.”

  Chapter 27

  Yours

  Amberly

  I had been prepared to scream at Bryant when he came over. I wanted him to feel every bit of hurt I was feeling and had been feeling since the accident. I was happy he’d fallen in love with me, because then I could break his heart easier.

  Then, I faltered. The conviction in his voice had me second guessing what I had seen myself. I began asking myself questions. Could his signature have been forged? Why would someone go to great lengths to frame him for something so ridiculous?

  When he told me about his ex-wife it all made sense. His life was a remake of a horrible lifetime movie, one that was almost unbelievable. If his ex-wife was violent, I wouldn’t doubt she’d be holding a knife to his throat at any moment. The way she’d always talked to him made everything he was telling me plausible. Ridiculous but plausible.

  Again, Bryant made me weak. I couldn’t stay angry with him. All of my anger faded the longer he was in front of me. After he was finished talking, I had apologized. The only thing I could do was believe him until he showed me I couldn’t. Looking closer at the report, the handwriting was different from the signature. It was still a slight difference so by first glance, you wouldn’t question it.

  I could see the tears coating his eyes when he had pleaded with me. They were still there, lingering for some reason. With a blink, they could travel out and down his face.

  It was as though he was near his breaking point and that made me forget why I had been angry with him. The only thing worse than dealing with my own pain, was witnessing someone else’s.

  He agreed, “We’ve got this.”

  I nodded my head, words caught in my throat. The silence hung thick in the air like a murky fog. I sat on Bryant’s lap, his fingers tracing small circles onto the outside of my thigh. I kept my arms around his neck and laid my chin on my arm, my breath inches from his hair. From this angle, I could hear his heartbeat.

  He shifted on the bed, reaching toward his back pocket. He pulled out his cell and, without a word, he dialed a number. "Hey, it's Bryant. I need you to look into something for me. Okay. No problem." He hung up and sat his phone down on top of my mattress. "How'd you do on your finals?"

  "No."

  "No?" He asked.

  I slide off his lap and stood up. "What was that about?"

  He glimpsed at his phone and then turned his attention to me. "I'm going to have Lucas look into the report you found. Can you get me a copy of it?"

  "I don't have a copier here."

  In one swift movement, he stood up beside me and grabbed my hand. "Then let's go to the shop to make one."

  I yanked my hand away. "I don't know, Bryant. If someone is willing to forge your signature, how innocent can this whole thing be?"

  He brought his hands up to my face. "Amberly, I need you to trust me. I can still see that you question that report. There's more to this that is affecting all areas of my life and I'm done with it. I lost my job, I'm always in jeopardy of losing my daughter, and I could lose you. Whoever is behind this is targeting me."

  I started pacing my bedroom. "But why? Why you? And why use my car wreck to do it?"

  Bryant caught me in his arms, forcing me to look at him. "If it’s Mac, you shouldn’t worry about it too much. I doubt she wants to wear orange for the rest of her life.”

  “And if it’s not?” I challenged.

  Thoughts, millions of them, raided my mind. The one blaring at me, cautioning me to keep Bryant from digging further, was that we weren't dealing with an amateur and whoever was behind this could be dangerous. I pressed the palms of my hands to his chest. "Look, let's forget about this. It's not that important. I'm sorry I accused you of being there."

  Bryant's jaw tensed. “We can't. This is important to you. I told you I would help you through this and I'm going to. Besides, I want my name cleared with the department.”

  “Does that mean you're going to go back?”

  He kissed the top of my forehead, my eyes shutting on their own accord. “No. I don't belong there. Even if I wouldn't have gotten discharged, I probably woul
d've left in another year or two. It happened sooner because God knew I needed you in my life.”

  A smile expanded across my face. He didn't know how true that was for me, that I needed him in mine. I had fought against it for so long and letting myself fall was not as frightening as I thought it would be.

  “The sooner we can figure this out, the sooner things can go back to normal.” He brushed my hair away from my forehead. “Come on.”

  I could tell this was affecting Bryant more than me. I think that happened the moment I accused him of signing the report. He was right though, I had my doubts. It was his signature. How could I be able to convince myself he hadn't done it unless there was proof?

  By trusting him.

  I trusted him, didn't I? I didn't have a reason not to. If I could persuade him to drop this entire thing we could continue down the road we were headed. We could go about our lives and ignore it all. Isn't that what everyone always said? Leave the past in the past? Then, the thought of that store clerk being the one behind the wheel lurked its way in and the day at the gun range brought back those fleeting moments of wanting revenge. What kind of revenge would I carry out anyway? Yelling in that person's face? Maybe. Shooting them? Yes, and then I could go to prison for the rest of my life. Punching them? I would get assault and battery. My options were limited. Maybe I'd feel better knowing who it was so I could avoid them, so I wouldn't have to wonder if every single person I came into contact with had been there that night. My social anxiety would drop a few levels after the fact.

  Bryant and I made it to Skrillex and made a copy of the report that I had. “Do you mind if we run this by Lucas' house?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Lucas, this is Amberly.”

  I stepped forward and shook Lucas' hand.

  “I have to say, Bryant, definitely an upgrade.”