by Shane Morgan
Looking over at Alex, Emma asks him, “Who are you going with Al?”
He peers up from his tray and wipes his mouth with a napkin. “Heather Raymond.”
My stomach relaxes, hearing his answer. Thank goodness he’s not going to miss out on a memorable event of his final year in high school because of me.
“Cool,” she says. Turning back to me, she enthuses, “So we’ll meet up after school and head over to the mall.”
“Looking forward to it,” I joke.
She bumps my arm lightly. “Be excited. It’s the one night of high school that we’ll remember for the rest of our lives.”
“I bet,” Chris chimes, grinning at April across from us.
Emma and I snort and go back to eating our lunch. Then all of a sudden I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder.
Glancing up, my chest tightens when I see that it’s Milo. “Can we talk for a sec?” he says, nodding towards the exit.
“Sure,” I reply, rising up from the table to walk with him outside.
“So,” he starts when we stop by the water fountain in the garden outside the cafeteria. “I wanted to congratulate you on getting signed. It’s all over school.”
I kick at the concrete. “Thanks.”
“Aurora, I know you’ve been busy with that, but I feel like you’ve also been avoiding me since that night at Foxes.”
I meet his gaze again. “No, not at all,” I lie.
He combs his hand through his hair. “So, um, you still want to go to prom with me? ‘Cause I do.”
“Yeah, I’m even going shopping later for a dress.”
His worried expression relaxes, and a broad grin appears. “I’m glad to hear that. You had me worried. I thought you believed what Alex said and was reconsidering.”
“No, I know you’re not like that,” I say.
He angles his head to the side. “You do?”
I smile. “Of course. I mean, we may have lost some years, but I still remember what you were like as a kid, and I can see those traits now. You’re a good person. You genuinely care about others and you want to make a difference in this world. You’ve always been like that.”
I can’t believe I just said all that out loud, but it doesn’t bother me or make me grow shy. I feel as if I’m talking to a friend. That’s good and bad because I never wanted Milo to be just a friend, only now I’m not so sure.
His eyes spear me hard for a moment before he finally says something. “Thank you. That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said to me in a long time.”
Milo steps closer and brushes my cheek. He leans in for a kiss. I can’t believe that I actually move back.
Are you kidding me?
“Um…” I fumble for words. Peering around our surrounding, I mutter, “Not here. Too many eyes.”
He laughs. That makes me feel less guilty. “I like how you switch from brave to being shy in a matter of seconds. It’s so cute.”
I manage a smile. “Yeah, I’m an odd one. Sorry about that.”
Milo tips my chin to meet his gaze. “Not odd. Just guarded with your feelings, I guess.”
The bell rings, ending lunch period. He motions to leave. “You want to hang out after you finish shopping?” he asks before turning away.
I nod. “Sure.” Even though I told myself it’s pointless and that I shouldn’t put myself in this situation because we’ll be separating soon, I can’t avoid him any longer. This is something I’ve always wanted, and I don’t want to end up having regrets if I don’t pursue it.
As I make my way to my next class, I glimpse Daegan at the end of the hall. My feelings become complicated again.
He slows in his tracks, staring at me like there’s absolutely no one else around. Everything that’s enticing about him comes firing back at once. That intoxicating scent. The warmth of his embrace. That kiss. I want to nuzzle myself in his arms and weave my fingers in his dark hair while he devours my lips again.
Christ! I need to snap out of this.
Daegan begins walking towards me. I consider talking to him, only to punk out and spin around on shaky legs, heading in the opposite direction through the crowd to try and escape him.
I need time. If I can get enough time, I’ll rid myself of these crazy feelings once and for all. Then it’ll go back to normal, where the only guy in the world that I want is Milo.
32.
I never thought I’d be happy, much less comfortable, wearing a dress. Unexpectedly, here I am now in the long black lace gown with the cut out back that I’d gotten last week at the mall with Emma, and I actually enjoy staring at myself in my mirror.
The dress is sexy. Its delicate details compliment my frame and exhume an air of elegance. With my hair loosely curled and pinned over to one shoulder, I can show off my mom’s diamond necklace and matching earrings. I feel beautiful tonight. I wish they were here to see me.
I dab at my eyes and hurry to compose myself when Aunt Leah calls from downstairs. “Your date’s here!”
Slipping into my black heels, I pick up my clutch off the dresser and step outside my room, slowly walking down the stairs.
Milo gasps at my sight. He eyes me up and down until I reach the bottom step. Catching his breath, he says, “You look beautiful.”
I smile at his compliment, returning it. “You look great, too.” He’s quite sharp in his white tuxedo with a black shirt, sleek gray vest, and matching tie inside.
“Oh.” He lifts his hand with a plastic box concealing an exquisite purple corsage. “I remembered you like purple flowers, so I got you this one.”
I lift my hand for him to place it on my wrist. I should shudder at his touch, feel an icy stream in my back at least, but I have no reaction. It’s… strange.
“Time for pictures,” Aunt Leah excites, arranging us by the stairs. “Smile.”
She clicks the flash several times until she’s satisfied. Then we start to head out. While Milo strides down the porch steps toward his car, Aunt Leah stops me at the front door.
“You really look beautiful, honey,” she gushes, looking me over.
“Thank you,” I smile and turn to leave.
“Hey,” she stops me again.
“Aunt Leah, Milo’s waiting.”
She comes out on the porch, touching my arm as she says in a soft tone, “I know that it’s prom and you and your friends want to have fun, but just remember this: it’s not lame to say no or do what you feel is right. No matter what, you can always call me if you’re over it and I’ll come get you ASAP, okay?”
I nod because I know what she’s talking about. “Thanks, Aunt Leah.”
She smiles and gestures for me to go ahead. “Do try to have fun.”
“Okay. See you later.”
Emma and the cousins are waiting outside when Milo and I arrive at our school gymnasium. She’s stunning, in a sage, floor length chiffon sweetheart dress. Even Drew can’t keep his eyes off her. Alex pulls up soon after with his date, Heather. He surveys my appearance and adjusts his tie.
“Rora, you look… great,” he remarks.
I reply, “Thanks, so do you.”
Heather frowns at me and tugs on his arm, pulling him towards the entrance.
The rest of us follow, walking down the red carpet inside the Hollywood themed event. We have our pictures taken celebrity style, as if we were at some movie premiere. Then we do couple shots.
Milo places his hand at my back when it’s our turn. He nuzzles me closer, tilting so his cheek is against mine; almost like he’s making a statement that I’m his girl.
Going through the open curtains, I’m captivated by the glitz and glam transformation of our school gym. There are movie reels decorating the gray walls, stars hanging from the ceiling, and lights coming from movie cameras.
We find our table and sit for a while. The music is banging. Milo and my friends are getting along. Everything seems to be going well. We’re all talking and laughing, and then the guys leave us girls to get punches.
> Emma and I chat with April and Heather, wanting to smooth the air, when all of a sudden, it’s like time stops for me as I glimpse Daegan entering with another girl at his side. She’s gorgeous, dressed in a knee length coral dress, killer pumps, and her blonde hair is pulled up in a stylish bun.
I feel an ache in my chest when they stop to take pictures at the entrance. She hooks her arm around his and cuddles to his side, smiling broadly for the camera. Daegan tries to smile too. I can tell it’s forced.
They finish up and walk across the auditorium, looking for their table. His blonde beauty locates her friends and hauls him over to them. I can’t take my eyes off him. He’s looking even hotter, darker, and more mysterious in his black tuxedo with studded details on the sleeves and along the collar, and there’s a silver chain that hangs off his belt and hooks onto the left pocket of his pants. Gosh, it’s as if he’s stepped straight out of a punk rock band.
So badass!
My chest feels heavy and guilt weighs down on my shoulders. I wish I was here with him. That’s not fair to Milo.
“Ladies,” Drew snaps me out of my misery as he returns to the table, the others right behind him.
Milo hands me my drink. He can’t stop smiling at me.
“What?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Nothing, I just can’t get over how gorgeous you are tonight.”
“Oh, so I’m usually not?” I tease, trying to enjoy myself and not think about Daegan.
He laughs and runs his thumb across his bottom lip before drinking his punch. “Trust me, you always are,” he says after he sets the cup down on top of the table. “But it’s nice seeing you like this tonight, so dressed up, looking girly. I’m used to a tomboy side. I mean, when we were kids—”
“Actually,” I cut him off. “Let’s not talk about when we were kids, at least not tonight,” I tell him.
He arches a brow. “Something wrong?”
“Oh no.” I trace the tip of my cup with a finger. “I want us to go one day without doing that and focus on the us that’s older now.”
He nods. “I see.” Looking across the dance floor, he lingers in his thoughts for a moment before turning back to me. “I didn’t realize how much we did that. I guess I thought we were picking up from where we left off, but it’s different for you, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is.” I lower my head, unsure. I used to want us to start fresh, but now I don’t know if it’s worth it.
“Aurora.” Milo draws back my gaze. “One of the reasons why I didn’t want us to be friends again is because I wanted to get out of this town. I knew that once I had you back in my life it’d be hard for me to leave.”
Okay, maybe he realizes that this will go nowhere and is actually going to make the decision for me.
“But the thing is, I do want us to start. I mean, it’s going to be difficult, now that you’re working on your music and will be traveling during summer, but amidst all that I’d love to spend time getting to know the grownup you, as I’d like for you to get to know the grownup me.”
I stare at him long and hard, considering his words.
“Does that make any sense?” he asks, worry etched on his face.
I smile feebly. “It does.” Stupid me, I can’t bring myself to say that I’m not sure about us anymore. Not only because of music, but because of the other guy who inspired my lyrics… and something else in my heart.
“Who feels like dancing?” Chris pipes in. He takes April’s hand and leads her out on the dance floor, where P!nk’s ‘Who Knew’ is melting hearts. There couldn’t have been another song more fitting for the way I feel right now.
Didn’t Milo and I promise each other, some eight years ago, that it’d be forever?
I thought I’d have this crush for the rest of my life. I once desired for nothing more than for him to remember his relationship with me when we were kids. Now I’m scared of the truth hanging over my head, telling me it’s time to move on.
Humph. Move on from Milo. Who knew?
Everyone makes their way to the dance floor. I’m not even nervous about dancing with him anymore.
As he drapes me in his arms and I rest my head on his shoulder, I catch sight of Daegan’s troubled eyes. He’s sitting at his table, not paying his date any mind, but neither is she as she chats with her friends. I can’t shake the tremor that his gaze sends over me. There’s a tingle in my chest now and a rising heat in my stomach that won’t subside.
I look away from him and peer up at Milo, easing out of his arms. “I have to use the restroom. Be right back.”
“Okay,” he replies.
I turn and make my way off the dance floor and down the hall to the outside garden instead, backing up against the concrete wall as I hug myself in the dark.
His eyes, those intriguing eyes, won’t leave my mind. They’re all I see.
Ugh!
“You okay?”
I swivel at his voice. My heart starts to wallop like crazy.
“Yeah…” I catch my breath. “What are you doing out here?”
“Following you,” he admits.
Daegan inches closer, his dark gaze holding mine. “I wanted to talk about what happened by the pond. Seems like you’re trying to pretend it didn’t happen but I can’t. No matter how many days or weeks go by that you avoid looking at me or ignore my calls. I can’t forget.”
I move away from the wall and step over to the fountain, sitting down on the stone bench that loops around it. He comes over and sits down beside me.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “It kinda took me off guard.”
“So you ran,” he finishes. “That’s understandable. People run away when something so strong and intense scares them.”
The way he stares at me while breathing heavily makes me break out in goosebumps all over my body.
I can hear the music faintly in the background. I begin to wonder if anyone has realized that we’re both missing. I stand up to head back inside.
Daegan reaches for my hand. He shoots to his feet and pulls me into his chest, wrapping his arms around me.
Slowly, I lift my hands and place them at his back, relaxing into his warmth. The drum-like melodies of his beating heart soothes mine. His soapy scent is refreshing, homey. I feel so at peace. I love this feeling. I love…
“I wanted to be your date tonight,” he whispers at the side of my head. “I wanted to be the one to dance with you, laugh with you, and then kiss you again at the end of the night. I’ve never opened my heart like this to anyone, but here it is Aurora, I’m giving it to you.”
I don’t want him to ease me away for a reply because I know I’ll say something foolish. Like deny how I truly feel.
“Aurora.” He utters my name in such a sweet way I think my heart is going to rip out of my chest.
When he manages to wrench his body away from mine, Daegan peers down into my eyes and says hurriedly, “Let’s leave. Right now. Let’s get out of here.”
I get an adrenaline rush. Without any hesitation, I tighten my grip on his hand and we scurry down the concrete path towards the parking lot. The black leather seat feels as if it’s adjusting to my body as I slide inside his car after he opens the passenger door for me. It sets off a stimulating sensation in me.
Daegan hurries around to the driver side, hopping in around the wheel. Before he leaves, he glances over and brushes my cheek. Then he smiles and starts the car, backing out of the school parking lot and taking off down the street.
Shortly after, he slows to a stop outside his house. I look at the driveway. Martin’s car isn’t there. Relief consumes me.
Turning off the engine, Daegan says lowly, “Come on.”
He holds my hand as we walk up the entrance towards the front door, inviting me inside.
My heart slams against my ribcage as I stand in the foyer, gazing at him with expectation, not knowing what happens next, but I’m sure something will.
I’m anticipating it.
“Re
member I said I wanted to show you something when you got past what I told you about David?” he asks, taking off his jacket.
I bob my head.
He reaches for my hand and tows me upstairs. A tsunami of emotions washes over me as he stops at a dark mahogany door and pushes it open, gesturing me inside his bedroom.
The ashen walls are covered with art—dark and alluring sketches that depict various sides to Daegan.
I wince at the thud of the door when he shuts it. Walking over to his art desk, he hangs his jacket over the back of the chair and pulls a drawer open, taking out a large sketchbook.
“Come here,” he says, sitting down on the side of the bed, which is neatly made by the way. He flips the cover over when I sink down beside him.
Reaching the page that he’s looking for, Daegan hands me the sketchbook. I gasp when I glance down and see what it is: my portrait.
His feelings for me are discernable in every detail that he has so carefully captured.
“This is from my birthday,” he whispers. “You looked so happy when you were baking for me. It was such a beautiful sight, I’d captured the moment inside my head. I’ll never forget it.”
I try to steady my hammering heart and shaky breaths so that I can say something. “This is… amazing,” I gush. “I’ve never seen myself in this way… so… beautiful.” I blink back tears of joy, thinking about my mom and how much I look like her in this portrait.
Daegan gently combs his fingers through my hair. “You are beautiful,” he affirms. “Inside and out.”
When I look at him, there’s a gleam in his dazzling eyes that is only there for me. It makes me nervous because I don’t know what the outcome will be for us. And unbeknownst to me, whatever this is had started from the very moment that I looked into his eyes on that Monday morning.
Rubbing his thumb across my lips, he tilts my chin as if he’s absorbing me even more. “Aurora, I’ve never had anything good in my life except for art. And I never thought I’d care for anything else. But now, here you are—truly unexpected, but so amazing.”
I turn away from his gaze and stare at the hardwood floor. “Daegan, I don’t know what I’m feeling. I mean, one minute all I could think of was being with Milo, and then after getting to know you… it’s like you’ve erased him from my heart.”