Healing in the Hills

by Ruth Clemence

  On impulse Ismay went back to the house, and ringing through to Grange Hall spoke to Dick Watson. He was only too happy to come over and keep Anne company. ‘I don’t like to come too often in case I wear out my welcome,’ he said in answer to Ismay’s inquiry, ‘but I’ll get on my bike and be there in a jiffy,’ and he rang off before Ismay could put her own receiver back on the cradle.

  She told Clare what she had done and Clare smiled wickedly. ‘Anne will be thrilled,’ she said. ‘She won’t even notice we’re gone. Come on, Ismay, let’s slip away, and as we don’t need to hurry back I’m going to take some bread to feed the birds. We’ve time to go down to the lake now.’

  Ismay nodded and they begged bread from Mrs. Fletcher and set off. They had done their shopping and had been sitting by the lake for some fifteen minutes, throwing bits of bread to a couple of eager ducks and spreading crumbs for the finches and sparrows who had not taken long to discover that there was a chance of a free meal, when suddenly a small rowing boat appeared and seemed to be making for the bank on which they were sitting.

  When it was about twenty yards away Ismay recognized the oarsman. It was Lewis. As he manoeuvred the boat near the bank she got up and walked to the water’s edge. ‘What on earth are you doing here at this time of the day? Lost all your patients?’

  Lewis grimed at her impudence. ‘I had an operation planned but the patient wasn’t fit enough, so I’ve postponed it until next week. It was too good an opportunity to miss. I skipped off before anyone could find anything else for me to do, and came along for an hour’s quiet fishing. How about you and Clare coming and joining me? I’d be glad of your company as long as you don’t babble too much and scare the fish.’

  Ismay turned to ask the child if she would like to go on the mere, but the question was superfluous, for Clare was already beside the boat and scrambling over the gunwale. As soon as his two passengers were settled, Lewis took his own place again and picked up the oars.

  A few minutes’ easy rowing and they were out into the centre of the lake. It was a beautifully still afternoon, but it was the stillness which heralds a storm to come. Overhead the clouds were gathering, and although the wind had not yet got up Ismay could feel a coolness beginning to steal over the surface of the water and was glad that she had insisted on Clare bringing a thick sweater with her in case the weather suddenly changed, as it so often did in these parts. ‘If you’re feeling cold,’ Lewis said suddenly, ‘there are some oilskins behind you. Wrap them round you and it will stop the wind getting through your cardigans.’

  One, Ismay discovered, was quite large enough to wrap around both her own and Clare’s slim form, and they sat facing Lewis, holding a corner each. Suddenly he stopped rowing, shipped the oars, and getting out his fishing tackle, began to assemble it.

  He was too busy to take any notice of either of the other two occupants of the boat, so Ismay was at liberty to sit and gaze at him unashamedly. He had well-shaped, capable-looking hands and she watched fascinated as Lewis unravelled the nylon fishing line. It did not need much stretching of her imagination to visualize him standing over the operating table, doing intricate operations to eyes, one of the most delicate parts of the human body on which to work.

  He soon had the rod and line fixed to his satisfaction and he spun his fly out over the still waters of the lake, glancing up at the sky as he did so. ‘I’ve not much hope of catching anything in this weather,’ he remarked resignedly, ‘but we’ll see. I may just have picked the right fly for once,’ and he grinned sideways towards Ismay and his young niece.

  But his pessimism was all too correct, for he caught nothing, though he fished steadily for over an hour before glancing once more at the ever more threatening sky. He said abruptly, ‘I think it’s time we went back or we’ll all get a soaking,’ and fixing the oars into the rowlocks, began to row steadily towards a small landing stage on the other side of the lake.

  ‘I’ve left the car over here,’ he said, noticing Ismay’s look of mild inquiry. ‘We may as well all go home together.’

  Lewis helped them out of the boat and the three of them walked down the lane to where he had left his car. For the most part they were silent. Ismay, a pace or two behind the others, gazed enviously at Clare’s hand lost in her uncle’s larger one. It would have been heaven, Ismay thought, to have the right to join them, to take his other hand and feel the firm fingers close on her own. But in any case Lewis was carrying his fishing rods and even if they were on intimate terms it would have been a physical impossibility for him.

  Ismay smiled at her own thoughts as she turned to look about her. The scenery really was magnificent here, she thought to herself, and particularly on a hushed afternoon like this. The small lane was sheltered from any trace of wind and the scent of honeysuckle hung on the air as the trio walked down towards Lewis’s car. The dog-roses were over, but here and there other varieties of wild flowers peeped in the borders to the hedgerows and the birds sang so sweetly that Ismay hesitated for a moment to listen to them.

  As she did so the gap between herself and the others widened and she saw Lewis stop and glance over his shoulder. He smiled as he saw the expression on her face. ‘Communing with nature?’ he called to her. Ismay smiled back at him and began to stroll on. ‘Something like that,’ she replied, as seeing that she had almost reached them Lewis pulled on Clare’s hand and recommenced his own slow pace to the car.

  As soon as he had put his fishing tackle away he unlocked the doors and Clare naturally climbed into the back seat. Standing under the shade of a large tree the inside of the car had not become unpleasantly hot, though Lewis immediately let down his window and leaning across Ismay in the front passenger seat, he pushed open the small triangle, smiling at her as he sat back again. ‘If it’s too cold once we get going, push it to again,’ he advised her, and slipping his key into the ignition he set the car in motion.

  As he turned out of the lane and on to the main road he glanced sideways at Ismay. ‘You know something?’ he said suddenly. ‘You’re looking a good deal fitter than when you first arrived.’

  Ismay shot him a look of surprise. There seemed no answer to his remark and she gazed through the side window in silence. Suddenly Lewis spoke again and this time he really did take her breath away. ‘Were you very much in love with him?’ he asked.

  There was silence for a brief second and Ismay almost felt as if she had stopped breathing. And then she let out her breath on a long sigh and turning her head saw that Lewis had glanced briefly at her. The road in front of them was empty and he held her glance for a few seconds before turning away. ‘Don’t answer if you’d rather not. I know I’ve no right to ask,’ he went on, and as Ismay half glanced over her shoulder he continued, ‘No need to bother about Clare listening. She removed her hearing aid the minute I drove off,’ and he grinned as he added, ‘as usual.’

  Ismay smiled faintly. Did he really expect an answer to his question or not? She held her breath again for a second, during which time Lewis turned and spoke again. ‘Sometimes you’ve got a most expressive face,’ he said, ‘but there are other instances when I just haven’t a clue as to what you’re thinking, and this is one of them. I don’t even know whether you’re going to answer my question or not, and whether you consider it to be an intolerable impertinence.’

  Ismay looked straight before her and then as he said no more she spoke in a soft voice. ‘No, I’m not heartbroken, and that’s the whole crux of the matter. I should have been.’ Lewis glanced swiftly at her and then away again. As if impelled by his silence Ismay went on, ‘I’d discovered some months before that I’d made a hideous mistake.’

  ‘And yet you were going on with your wedding plans.’

  ‘Yes, I lacked the moral courage to break things off. You see, I’d known Peter since I was a little girl. His parents and mine live next door to one another. When I discovered that I didn’t want to marry him after all it was too late to draw back.’

  ‘Nonsense!
’ Lewis’s voice was firm. ‘It’s never too late. Do you mean to say if he hadn’t been killed you would have gone through with it?’ Ismay was silent and Lewis after a second went on, ‘You must have been completely out of your mind!’

  ‘I think I was a bit,’ Ismay admitted. ‘I allowed myself to be bulldozed into a difficult situation and did nothing to save myself. Looking back I can’t understand why I didn’t dig my heels in, but no one seemed to question for a moment that I might have changed my mind. And it would have caused such an enormous family row that I was too big a coward to tell them that while Peter was away in America I’d fallen out of love with him.’

  ‘Either that,’ Lewis said, ‘or you’d never been in love with him at all.’

  ‘Oh, I had been in love with him once,’ Ismay replied swiftly. ‘When I was eighteen I positively idolized him. It really was a case of love is blind!’ Her voice was trembling with emotion. ‘I couldn’t see that he had any bad points at all.’

  ‘And later you did?’

  ‘Not really, it was just that I discovered we weren’t at all suited to one another, at least I wasn’t suited to him. If he hadn’t died and we had got married I’d have made it work somehow, I’d have been a good wife to him. ’

  There was a snort from the driving seat and Ismay looked indignant.

  ‘There’s no need to look daggers at me,’ Lewis said. ‘I can’t imagine anything worse than a reluctant bride. Did it never occur to you that you were not being straight or fair to the poor man?’

  Ismay could feel herself flushing, and the familiar anger which Lewis quite frequently aroused in her beginning to stir. ‘There’s no need to be quite so crushing,’ she began, and Lewis laughed.

  ‘There’s nothing much wrong with you, young lady, if you can rise to the bait as easily as that. Don’t you know that I deliberately provoke you now and again. It’s all part of the therapy.’

  Ismay looked a question and he turned his gaze briefly from the road to glance at her before turning back again. ‘I could see right from the start that something was troubling you,’ he said, ‘but I couldn’t make out what it was.’

  ‘No, not until you went to London and listened to all the chit-chat at St. Ninian’s, I suppose,’ Ismay remarked bitterly. ‘That’s one reason why I was glad to get away from all my friends and relatives for a while. Everyone expected me to be brokenhearted, and all I could feel was guilt, a sense of shame and as if I was living one great big lie. It took me some time to pull myself together.’

  ‘And now you have?’ Lewis asked.

  ‘I’m beginning to,’ Ismay smiled faintly. ‘Being up here with your family has done a great deal to help. I love your mother and Anne and Clare. Being with them and being busy all day has been the best thing that could happen to me.’

  ‘I know it has,’ Lewis said, ‘and it’s been the best thing that’s happened to us—that you were looking for a refuge just when we needed help for Anne, I mean.’

  Ismay blushed faintly at his words. ‘I’ve felt a bit of a fraud at times,’ she admitted, ‘accepting such a large salary, being treated like a daughter of the house.’

  ‘Well, you don’t need to feel under any obligation,’ Lewis reassured her. ‘It’s the Kynochs who are indebted to you for all you’ve done to help Anne. Alec will be taking her over to see the fellow who operated on her knee in a day or two, I expect he’ll be taking you along too. It’s time Anne had some serious physiotherapy to that leg if she’s ever to get it back to normal again, and this is where you may come in. It would be a great deal easier if you could give it to her, instead of her having to be taken all the way to the hospital every day.’

  ‘But I know practically nothing about physiotherapy,’ Ismay protested. ‘I give the knee a little gentle massage and see she exercises for a short while every day, but I’m really playing it all by ear.’

  ‘Well, I daresay Alec could arrange for you to be taught what exercises would be most beneficial. After all, they can’t be difficult, and if Anne’s made to do them two or three times a day it should do the trick. That fall didn’t do her any good, as I’m sure you’ve realized. I know very little about bones, but it set her back at least three or four months, in my opinion.’

  They were silent for a moment or two as he halted at a crossroad to turn right and waited while a flow of traffic coming from the opposite direction held him up. When the car was once more in motion Ismay looked impishly at him and said, ‘Well, now you’ve extracted all my past history from me, how about answering a question or two that’s been puzzling me? For instance, why is it that you haven’t taken the fatal plunge?’

  Lewis looked as if he had been shot. He glanced at her for a second and the amazement in his face made Ismay laugh outright. ‘What’s sauce for the goose...’ she let the sentence hang in the air. ‘How is it that one of the female doctors or a nurse hasn’t snapped you up by now?’

  If Ismay thought Lewis might possibly take exception to her personal remarks she was wrong, because he suddenly started to chuckle. ‘This is taking the war into the enemy’s camp,’ he remarked as he pulled out to pass a tractor which was dragging a heavy piece of agricultural machinery behind it. ‘The fact is, my fair interrogator, I was once heavily involved with a girl at medical school. Unfortunately she died of leukaemia the year after we qualified.’

  Ismay was very effectually silenced by these words and she could hardly get out a whispered, ‘I’m sorry.’

  ‘That’s all right.’ Lewis’s voice was matter-of-fact. ‘Please don’t be upset. I got over it long ago. The thing is I never found anyone who matched up to Marie, that’s the real reason why I’ve remained single.’

  Ismay said no more; there seemed nothing more to be said. She glanced over her shoulder to find Clare, oblivious to the problems of adults, happily looking through the window and humming gently to herself. The hearing aid lay neglected on the seat beside her. She was enjoying a few minutes’ peace in her own silent world, that was obvious, and Ismay turned back again, reassured that the girl was not feeling left out of things.

  That evening Lewis did not depart to the study the minute the meal was over, but stayed in the drawing-room talking. Alec and Felicity had gone out to dinner with some friends, so there was only old Mrs. Kynoch, Lewis, Ismay and the two girls for the evening meal. When Ismay got up to carry the coffee tray back to the kitchen Lewis rose and took it out of her hands, and when he returned from the kitchen he came and settled on the settee beside her, where she was watching the weekly play on television.

  That night as she prepared for bed Ismay told herself what a fool she was making of herself. For the second time too, she thought sadly. It was the height of madness, but she had been unable to resist the warm feeling of contentment of remaining beside Lewis, his shoulder six inches from her own. It seemed she was in danger of making a mistake yet again.

  Despite these troublesome thoughts, however, Ismay found when she finally climbed into bed that she fell asleep instantly, and slept better than she had done since the tragic accident which had made such an enormous change in her way of life.

  Lewis had been correct when he said that at her next check-up Anne might be advised to have regular physiotherapeutic sessions. Two days later Alec asked Ismay to come with him when he took his elder daughter to hospital to see her orthopaedic surgeon, and of course Clare insisted on being allowed to go along too.

  Ismay, Alec and the girls planned to set out about nine-thirty; Felicity, who had made one of her rare appearances at the breakfast table clad in a beautiful soft green woollen skirt teamed with a sugar-pink blouse over which she was wearing a sleeveless pullover in a matching green wool, announced as she ate a slice of wafer thin toast that she would not be going to the hospital since she had already made arrangements to play golf.

  Ismay, silently listening, guessed that no prizes were needed to speculate on the identity of Felicity’s partner; John Ross was an ardent golfer. But if Alec knew with whom his
wife had a date either he was indifferent to her caprices or was unwilling to start an argument in front of others.

  When they reached the hospital and went to sit in the waiting-room, it was only a short time before Anne’s name was called. As she rose looking a little apprehensive, Alec got up too. Twenty minutes later, when they came out of the consulting-room, he walked over to Ismay and said quietly, ‘Anne’s not going to need another operation right away, but she’s to have some treatment, and I want you to see how it’s done. She’ll have heat first, followed by special exercises. Mr. Charlton has rung the firm in London which supply the apparatus and they’re going to put one of their machines on the train this afternoon. You’ll be instructed in how to use it so that Anne can have her treatments at home.’

  Ismay felt some trepidation. Although she had been forewarned by Lewis she still felt somewhat alarmed at the part she was expected to play. ‘But I’m not qualified to give physiotherapy—’ She could hear the dismay in her own voice as Alec quickly interrupted.

  ‘Don’t worry, we’ll see you’re not in any doubt about how to use the machine before we leave here. Come along, Mr. Charlton’s arranged for Anne to be seen right away and we don’t want to waste any time. If she has her session before lunch we can come back later so that you’re absolutely confident of what you’re going to do. I don’t want you to feel worried in any way. I know as a nurse you’ve probably watched physiotherapy being given lots of times and must know a little about it, but it’s a different thing when you have to supervise it yourself, and I don’t want you to feel I’m leaning rather unfairly on you.’