Diary of a Drug Fiend

by Aleister Crowley

  COMMENTARY (ΛΓ)

  33 is the number of the Last Degree of Masonry, which was conferred upon Frater P. in the year 1900 of the vulgar era by Don Jesus de Medina-Sidonia in the City of Mexico.

  Baphomet is the mysterious name of the God of the Templars.

  The Eagle described in paragraph 1 is that of the Templars.

  This Masonic symbol is, however, identified by Frater P. with a bird, which is master of the four elements, and therefore of the name Tetragrammaton.

  Jacobus Burgundus Molensis suffered martyrdom in the City of Paris in the year 1314 of the vulgar era.

  The secrets of his order were, however, not lost, and are still being communicated to the worthy by his successors, as is intimated by the last paragraph, which implies knowledge of a secret worship, of which the Grand Master did not speak.

  The Eagle may be identified, though not too closely, with the Hawk previously spoken of.

  It is perhaps the Sun, the exoteric object of worship of all sensible cults; it is not to be confused with other objects of the mystic aviary, such as the swan, phoenix, pelican, dove and so on.

  NOTE

  (17) His initials I.B.M. are the initials of the Three Pillars of the Temple, and add to 52, 13×4, BN, the Son.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΔ

  THE SMOKING DOG18

  Each act of man is the twist and double of an hare.

  Love and death are the greyhounds that course him.

  God bred the hounds and taketh His pleasure in the sport.

  This is the Comedy of Pan, that man should think he hunteth, while those hounds hunt him.

  This is the Tragedy of Man when facing Love and Death he turns to bay. He is no more hare, but boar.

  There are no other comedies or tragedies.

  Cease then to be the mockery of God; in savagery of love and death live thou and die!

  Thus shall His laughter be thrilled through with Ecstasy.

  COMMENTARY (ΛΔ)

  The title is explained in the note.

  The chapter needs no explanation; it is a definite point of view of life, and recommends a course of action calculated to rob the creator of his cruel sport.

  NOTE

  (18) This chapter was written to clarify Χεψιδ of which it was the origin. FRATER PERDURABO perceived this truth, or rather the first half of it, comedy, at breakfast at “Au Chien qui Fume”.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΕ

  VENUS OF MILO

  Life is as ugly and necessary as the female body.

  Death is as beautiful and necessary as the male body.

  The soul is beyond male and female as it is beyond Life and Death.

  Even as the Lingam and the Yoni are but diverse developments of One Organ, so also are Life and Death but two phases of One State. So also the Absolute and the Conditioned are but forms of THAT.

  What do I love? There is no form, no being, to which I do not give myself wholly up.

  Take me, who will!

  COMMENTARY (ΛΕ)

  This chapter must be read in connection with Chapters 1, 3, 4, 8, 15, 16, 18, 24, 28, 29.

  The last sentence of paragraph 4 also connects with the first paragraph of Chapter 26.

  The title “Venus of Milo” is an argument in support of paragraphs 1 and 2, it being evident from this statement that the female body becomes beautiful in so far as it approximates to the male.

  The female is to be regarded as having been separated from the male, in order to reproduce the male in a superior form, the absolute, and the conditions forming the one absolute.

  In the last two paragraphs there is a justification of a practice which might be called sacred prostitution.

  In the common practice of meditation the idea is to reject all impressions, but here is an opposite practice, very much more difficult, in which all are accepted.

  This cannot be done at all unless one is capable of making Dhyana at least on any conceivable thing, at a second’s notice; otherwise, the practice would only be ordinary mind-wandering.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΣ

  THE STAR SAPPHIRE

  Let the Adept be armed with his Magick Rood [and provided with his Mystic Rose].

  In the centre, let him give the L. V. X. signs; or if he know them, if he will and dare do them, and can keep silent about them, the signs of N. O. X. being the signs of Puer, Vir, Puella, Mulier. Omit the sign I.R.

  Then let him advance to the East, and make the Holy Hexagram, saying: PATER ET MATER UNIS DEUS ARARITA.

  Let him go round to the South, make the Holy Hexagram, and say: MATER ET FILIUS UNUS DEUS ARARITA.

  Let him go round to the West, make the Holy Hexagram, and say: FILIUS ET FILIA UNUS DEUS ARARITA.

  Let him go round to the North, make the Holy Hexagram, and then say: FILIA ET PATER UNUS DEUS ARARITA.

  Let him then return to the Centre, and so to The Centre of All [making the ROSY CROSS as he may know how] saying: ARARITA ARARITA ARARITA.

  [In this the Signs shall be those of Set Triumphant and of Baphomet. Also shall Set appear in the Circle. Let him drink of the Sacrament and let him communicate the same.]

  Then let him say: OMNIA IN DUOS: DUO IN UNUM: UNUS IN NIHIL: HAE NEC QUATUOR NEC OMNIA NEC DUO NEC UNUS NEC NIHIL SUNT.

  GLORIA PATRI ET MATRI ET FILIO ET FILIAE ET SPIRITUI SANCTO EXTERNO ET SPIRITUI SANCTO INTERNO UT ERAT EST ERIT IN SAECULA SAECULORUM SEX IN UNO PER NOMEN SEPTEM IN UNO ARARITA.

  Let him then repeat the signs of L. V. X. but not the signs of N. O. X.; for it is not he that shall arise in the Sign of Isis Rejoicing.

  COMMENTARY (ΛΣ)

  The Star Sapphire corresponds with the Star-Ruby of Chapter 25; 36 being the square of 6, as 25 is of 5.

  This chapter gives the real and perfect Ritual of the Hexagram.

  It would be improper to comment further upon an official ritual of the A∴A∴

  37

  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΖ

  DRAGONS

  Thought is the shadow of the eclipse of Luna.

  Samadhi is the shadow of the eclipse of Sol.

  The moon and the earth are the non-ego and the ego: the Sun is THAT.

  Both eclipses are darkness; both are exceeding rare; the Universe itself is Light.

  COMMENTARY (ΛΖ)

  Dragons are in the East supposed to cause eclipses by devouring the luminaries.

  There may be some significance in the chapter number, which is that of Jechidah the highest unity of the soul.

  In this chapter, the idea is given that all limitation and evil is an exceedingly rare accident; there can be no night in the whole of the Solar System, except in rare spots, where the shadow of a planet is cast by itself. It is a serious misfortune that we happen to live in a tiny corner of the system, where the darkness reaches such a high figure as 50 per cent.

  The same is true of moral and spiritual conditions.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΗ

  LAMBSKIN

  Cowan, skidoo!

  Tyle!

  Swear to hele all.

  This is the mystery.

  Life!

  Mind is the traitor.

  Slay mind.

  Let the corpse of mind lie unburied on the edge of the Great Sea!

  Death!

  This is the mystery.

  Tyle!

  Cowan, skidoo!

  COMMENTARY (ΛΗ)

  This chapter will be readily intelligible to E.A. Freemasons, and it cannot be explained to others.

  39

  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΛΘ

  THE LOOBY

  Only loobies find excellence in these words.

  It is thinkable that A is not-A; to reverse this is but to revert to the normal.

  Yet by forcing the brain to
accept propositions of which one set is absurdity, the other truism, a new function of brain is established.

  Vague and mysterious and all indefinite are the contents of this new consciousness; yet they are somehow vital. By use they become luminous.

  Unreason becomes Experience.

  This lifts the leaden-footed soul to the Experience of THAT of which Reason is the blasphemy.

  But without the Experience these words are the Lies of a Looby.

  Yet a Looby to thee, and a Booby to me, a Balassius Ruby to GOD, may be!

  COMMENTARY (ΛΘ)

  The word Looby occurs in folklore, and was supposed to be the author, at the time of writing this book, which he did when he was far from any standard works of reference, to connote partly “booby”, partly “lout”. It would thus be a similar word to Parsifal.

  Paragraphs 2–6 explain the method that was given in Chapters 11 and 31. This method, however, occurs throughout the book on numerous occasions, and even in the chapter itself it is employed in the last paragraphs.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ Μ

  THE HIMOG19

  A red rose absorbs all colours but red; red is therefore the one colour that it is not.

  This Law, Reason, Time, Space, all Limitation blinds us to the Truth.

  All that we know of Man, Nature, God, is just that which they are not; it is that which they throw off as repugnant.

  The HIMOG is only visible in so far as He is imperfect.

  Then are they all glorious who seem not to be glorious, as the HIMOG is All-glorious Within?

  It may be so.

  How then distinguish the inglorious and perfect HIMOG from the inglorious man of earth?

  Distinguish not!

  But thyself Extinguish: HIMOG art thou, and HIMOG shalt thou be.

  COMMENTARY (Μ)

  Paragraph 1 is, of course, a well-known scientific fact.

  In paragraph 2 it is suggested analogically that all thinkable things are similarly blinds for the Unthinkable Reality.

  Classing in this manner all things as illusions, the question arises as to the distinguishing between illusions; how are we to tell whether a Holy Illuminated Man of God is really so, since we can see nothing of him but his imperfections. “It may be yonder beggar is a King.”

  But these considerations are not to trouble such mind as the Chela may possess; let him occupy himself, rather, with the task of getting rid of his personality; this, and not criticism of his holy Guru, should be the occupation of his days and nights.

  NOTE

  (19) HIMOG is a Notariqon of the words Holy Illuminated Man of God.

  41

  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΜΑ

  CORN BEEF HASH20

  In V.V.V.V.V. is the Great Work perfect.

  Therefore none is that pertaineth not to V.V.V.V.V.

  In any may he manifest; yet in one hath he chosen to manifest; and this one hath given His ring as a Seal of Authority to the Work of the A∴A∴ through the colleagues of FRATER PERDURABO.

  But this concerns themselves and their administration; it concerneth none below the grade of Exempt Adept, and such an one only by command.

  Also, since below the Abyss Reason is Lord, let men seek by experiment, and not by Questionings.

  COMMENTARY (ΜΑ)

  The title is only partially explained in the note; it means that the statements in this chapter are to be understood in the most ordinary and commonplace way, without any mystical sense.

  V.V.V.V.V. is the motto of a Master of the Temple (or so much He disclosed to the Exempt Adepts), referred to in Liber LXI. It is he who is responsible for the whole of the development of the A∴A∴ movement which has been associated with the publication of THE EQUINOX; and His utterance is enshrined in the sacred writings.

  It is useless to enquire into His nature; to do so leads to certain disaster. Authority from him is exhibited, when necessary, to the proper persons, though in no case to anyone below the grade of Exempt Adept. The person enquiring into such matters is politely requested to work, and not to ask questions about matters which in no way concern him.

  The number 41 is that of the Barren Mother.

  NOTE

  (20) I.e. food suitable for Americans.

  42

  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΜΒ

  DUST-DEVILS

  In the wind of the mind arises the turbulence called I.

  It breaks; down shower the barren thoughts.

  All life is choked.

  This desert is the Abyss wherein is the Universe. The Stars are but thistles in that waste.

  Yet this desert is but one spot accursèd in a world of bliss.

  Now and again Travellers cross the desert; they come from the Great Sea, and to the Great Sea they go.

  As they go they spill water; one day they will irrigate the desert, till it flower.

  See! five footprints of a Camel! V.V.V.V.V.

  COMMENTARY (ΜΒ)

  This number 42 is the Great Number of the Curse. See Liber 418, Liber 500, and the essay on the Qabalah in the Temple of Solomon the King. This number is said to be all hotch-potch and accursed.

  The chapter should be read most carefully in connection with the 10th Aethyr. It is to that dramatic experience that it refers.

  The mind is called “wind”, because of its nature; as has been frequently explained, the ideas and words are identical.

  In this free-flowing, centreless material arises an eddy; a spiral close-coiled upon itself.

  The theory of the formation of the Ego is that of the Hindus, whose Ahamkara is itself a function of the mind, whose ego it creates. This Ego is entirely divine.

  Zoroaster describes God as having the head of the Hawk, and a spiral force. It will be difficult to understand this chapter without some experience in the transvaluation of values, which occurs throughout the whole of this book, in nearly every other sentence. Transvaluation of values is only the moral aspect of the method of contradiction.

  The word “turbulence” is applied to the Ego to suggest the French “tourbillion”, whirlwind, the false Ego or dust-devil.

  True life, the life, which has no consciousness of “I”, is said to be choked by this false ego, or rather by the thoughts which its explosions produce. In paragraph 4 this is expanded to a macrocosmic plane.

  The Masters of the Temple are now introduced; they are inhabitants, not of this desert; their abode is not this universe.

  They come from the Great Sea, Binah, the City of the Pyramids. V.V.V.V.V. is indicated as one of these travellers; He is described as a camel, not because of the connotation of the French form of this word, but because “camel” is in hebrew Gimel, and Gimel is the path leading from Tiphareth to Kether, uniting Microprosopus and Macroprosopus, i.e. performing the Great Work.

  The card Gimel in the Tarot is the High Priestess, the Lady of Initiation; one might even say, the Holy Guardian Angel.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΜΓ

  MULBERRY TOPS

  Black blood upon the altar! and the rustle of angel wings above!

  Black blood of the sweet fruit, the bruised, the violated bloom – that setteth The Wheel a-spinning in the spire. Death is the veil of Life, and Life of Death; for both are Gods.

  This is that which is written: “A feast for Life, and a greater feast for Death!” in THE BOOK OF THE LAW.

  The blood is the life of the individual: offer then blood!

  COMMENTARY (ΜΓ)

  The title of this chapter refers to a Hebrew legend, that of the prophet who heard “a going in the mulberry tops”; and to Browning’s phrase, “a bruised, black-blooded mulberry”.

  In the World’s Tragedy, Household Gods, The Scorpion, and also The God-Eater, the reader may study the efficacy of rape, and the sacrifice of blood, as magical formulae. Blood and virginity have always b
een the most acceptable offerings to all the gods, but especially the Christian God.

  In the last paragraph, the reason of this is explained; it is because such sacrifices come under the Great Law of the Rosy Cross, the giving-up of the individuality, as has been explained as nauseam in previous chapters. We shall frequently recur to this subject.

  By “the wheel spinning in the spire” is meant the manifestation of magical force, the spermatozoon in the conical phallus. For wheels, see Chapter 78.

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  ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΜΔ

  THE MASS OF THE PHŒNIX

  The Magician, his breast bare, stands before an altar on which are his Burin, Bell, Thurible, and two of the Cakes of Light. In the Sign of the Enterer he reaches West across the Altar, and cries:

  Hail Ra, that goest in Thy bark

  Into the Caverns of the Dark!

  He gives the sign of Silence, and takes the Bell, and Fire, in his hands.

  East of the Altar see me stand

  With Light and Musick in mine hand!

  He strikes Eleven times upon the Bell 3 3 3 – 5 5 5 5 5 – 3 3 3 and places the Fire in the Thurible.

  I strike the Bell: I light the flame:

  I utter the mysterious Name. ABRAHADABRA

  He strikes Eleven times upon the Bell.

  Now I begin to pray: Thou Child,

  Holy Thy name and undefiled!

  Thy reign is come: Thy will is done.

  Here is the Bread; here is the Blood.

  Bring me through midnight to the Sun!

  Save me from Evil and from Good!

  That Thy one crown of all the Ten.