Diary of a Drug Fiend
Page 74
(N.B. Frater P. wrote this chapter – 61-while dining with friends, in about a minute and a half. That is how you must know the Qabalah.)
Note
(28) Oe = Island, a common symbol of Nibbana.
(29) ויא Ain. ויע Ayin.
(30) Scil. of Shiva.
(31) Cf. Bagh-i-Muattar for all this symbolism.
(32) Death = Nun, the letter before O, means a fish, a symbol of Christ, and also by its shape the Female principle
62
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΒ
Twig?33
The Phoenix hat a Bell for Sound; Fire for Sight; a Knife for Touch; two cakes, one for taste, the other for smell.
He standeth before the Altar of the Universe at Sunset, when Earth-life fades.
He summons the Universe, and crowns it with MAGICK Light to replace the sun of natural light.
He prays unto, and give homage to, Ro-Hoor-Khuit; to Him he then sacrifices.
The first cake, burnt, illustrates the profit drawn from the scheme of incarnation.
The second, mixt with his life’s blood and eaten, illustrates the use of the lower life to feed the higher life.
He then takes the Oath and becomes free –unconditioned – the Absolute.
Burning up in the Flame of his Prayer, and born again – the Phoenix!
Commentary (ΞΒ)
This chapter is itself a comment on Chapter 44.
NOTE
(33) Twig? = dost thou understand? Also the Phoenix takes twigs to kindle the fire in which it burns itself.
63
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΓ
Margery Daw
I love LAYLAH.
I lack LAYLAH.
“Where is the Mystic Grace?” sayest thou?
Who told thee, man, that LAYLAH is not Nuit, and I Hadit?
I destroyed all things; they are reborn in other shapes.
I gave up all for One; this One hath given up its Unity for all?
I wrenched DOG backwards to find GOD; now GOD barks.
Think me not fallen because I love LAYLAH, and lack LAYLAH.
I am the Master of the Universe; then give me a heap of straw in a hut, and LAYLAH naked! Amen.
Commentary (ΞΓ)
This chapter returns to the subject of Laylah, and to the subject already discussed in Chapters 3 and others, particularly Chapter 56.
The title of the chapter refers to the old rime:
“See-saw, Margery Daw,
Sold her bed to lie upon straw.
Was not she a silly slut
To sell her bed to lie upon dirt?”
The word “see-saw” is significant, almost a comment upon this chapter. To the Master of the Temple opposite rules apply. His unity seeks the many, and the many is again transmuted to the one. Solve et Coagula.
64
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΔ
Constancy
I was discussing oysters with a crony:
GOD sent to me the angels DIN and DONI.
“A man of spunk,” they urged, “would hardly choose
To breakfast every day chez Laperouse.”
“No!” I replied, “he would not do so, BUT
Think of his woe if Laperouse were shut!
“I eat these oysters and I drink this wine
Solely to drown this misery of mine.
“Yet the last height of consolation’s cold:
Its pinnacle is – not to be consoled!
“And though I sleep with Janefore and Eleanor
I feel no better than I did before,
“And Julian only fixes in my mind
Even before feels better than behind.
“You are Mercurial spirits – be so kind
As to enable me to raise the wind.
“Put me in LAYLAH’S arms again: the Accurst,
Leaving me that. Elsehow may do his worst.”
DONI and DIN, perceiving me inspired,
Conceived their task was finished: they retired.
I turned upon my friend, and, breaking bounds,
Borrowed a trifle of two hundred pounds.
Commentary (ΞΔ)
64 is the number of Mercury, and of the intelligence of that planet, Din and Doni.
The moral of the chapter is that one wants liberty, although one may not wish to exercise it: the author would readily die in defence of the right of Englishmen to play football, or of his own right not to play it. (As a great poet has expressed it: “We don’t want to fight, but, by Jingo, if we do –”) This is his meaning towards his attitude to complete freedom of speech and action. He refuses to listen to the ostensible criticism of the spirits, and explains his own position. Their real mission was to rouse him to confidence and action.
65
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΕ
Sic Transeat –
“At last I lifted up mine eyes, and beheld; and lo! the flames of violet were become as tendrils of smoke, as mist at sunset upon the marsh-lands.
“And in the midst of the moon-pool of silver was the Lily of white and gold. In this Lily is all honey, in this Lily that flowereth at the midnight. In this Lily is all perfume; in this Lily is all music. And it enfolded me.”
Thus the disciples that watched found a dead body kneeling at the altar. Amen!
Commentary (ΞΕ)
65 is the number of Adonai, the Holy Guardian Angel; see Liber 65, Liber Konx Om Pax, and other works of reference.
The chapter title means, “So may he pass away”, the blank obviously referring to N E M O.
The “moon-pool of silver” is the Path of Gimel, leading from Tiphareth to Kether; the “flames of violet” are the Ajna-Chakkra; the lily itself is Kether, the lotus of the Sahasrara. “Lily” is spelt with a capital to connect with Laylah.
66
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ Ξϝ
The Praying Mantis
“Say: God is One.” This I obeyed: for a thousand and one times a night for one thousand nights and one did I affirm the Unity.
But “night” only means LAYLAH34; and Unity and GOD are not worth even her blemishes.
Al-lah is only sixty-six; but LAYLAH counteth up to Seven and Seventy.35
“Yea! the night shall cover all; the night shall cover all.”
Commentary (Ξϝ)
66 is the number of Allah; the praying mantis is a blasphemous grasshopper which caricatures the pious.
The chapter recurs to the subject of Laylah, whom the author exalts above God, in continuation of the reasonings given in Chapter 56 and 63. She is identified with N. O. X. by the quotation from Liber 65.
NOTE
(34) Laylah is the Arabic for night.
(35) A L L H = 1 + 30 + 30 + 5 = 66. L + A + I + L + A + H = 77, which also gives MSL, the Influence of the Highest, OZ, a goat, and so on.
67
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΖ
Sodom-Apples
I have bought pleasant trifles, and thus soothed my lack of LAYLAH.
Light is my wallet, and my heart is also light; and yet I know that the clouds will gather closer for the false clearing.
The mirage will fade; then will the desert be thirstier than before.
O ye who dwell in the Dark Night of the Soul, beware most of all of every herald of the Dawn!
O ye who dwell in the City of the Pyramids beneath the Night of PAN, remember that ye shall see no more light but That of the great fire that shall consume your dust to ashes!
Commentary (ΞΖ)
This chapter means that it is useless to try to abandon the Great Work. You may occupy yourself for a time with other things, but you will only increase your bitterness, rivet the chains still on your feet.
Paragraph 4 is a practical counsel to mystics not to break up their dryness by relaxing their austerities.
The last paragraph will only be understood by Masters of the Temple.
68
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΗ
Manna
At four o’clock there is hardly anybody in Rumpelmayer’s.
I have my choice of place and service; the babble of the apes will begin soon enough.
“Pioneers, O Pioneers!”
Sat no Elijah under the Juniper-tree, and wept?
Was not Mohammed forsaken in Mecca, and Jesus in Gethsemane?
These prophets were sad at heart; but the chocolate at Rumpelmayer’s is great, and the Mousse Noix is like Nepthys for perfection.
Also there are little meringues with cream and chestnut-pulp, very velvety seductions.
Sail I not toward LAYLAH within seven days?
Be not sad at heart, O prophet; the babble of the apes will presently begin.
Nay, rejoice exceedingly; for after all the babble of the apes the Silence of the Night.
Commentary (ΞΗ)
Manna was a heavenly cake which, in the legend, fed the Children of Israel in the Wilderness.
The author laments the failure of his mission to mankind, but comforts himself with the following reflections:
(1) He enjoys the advantages of solitude.
(2) Previous prophets encountered similar difficulties in convincing their hearers.
(3) Their food was not equal to that obtainable at Rumpelmayer’s.
(4) In a few days I am going to rejoin Laylah.
(5) My mission will succeed soon enough.
(6) Death will remove the nuisance of success.
69
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΞΘ
The Way to Succeed – And the Way to Suck Eggs
This is the Holy Hexagram.
Plunge from the height, O God, and interlock with Man!
Plunge from the height, O Man, and interlock with Beast!
The Red Triangle is the descending tongue of grace; the Blue Triangle is the ascending tongue of prayer.
This Interchange, the Double Gift of Tongues, the Word of Double Power – ABRAHADABRA! – is the sign of the GREAT WORK, for the GREAT WORK is accomplished in Silence. And behold is not that Word equal to Cheth, that is Cancer, whose Sigil is
?
This Work also eats up itself, accomplishes its own end, nourishes the worker, leaves no seed, is perfect in itself.
Little children, love one another!
Commentary (ΞΘ)
The key to the understanding of this chapter is given in the number and the title, the former being intelligible to all nations who employ Arabic figures, the latter only to experts in deciphering English puns.
The chapter alludes to Levi’s drawing of the Hexagram, and is a criticism of, or improvement upon, it. In the ordinary Hexagram, the Hexagram of nature, the red triangle is upwards, like fire, and the blue triangle downwards, like water. In the magical hexagram this is reversed; the descending red triangle is that of Horus, a sign specially revealed by him personally, at the Equinox of the Gods. (It is the flame desending upon the altar, and licking up the burnt offering.) The blue triangle represents the aspiration, since blue is the colour of devotion, and the triangle, kinetically considered, is the symbol of directed force.
In the first three paragraphs this formation of the hexagram is explained; it is a symbol of the mutual separation of the Holy Guardian Angel and his client. In the interlocking is indicated the completion of the work.
Paragraph 4 explains in slightly different language what we have said above, and the scriptural image of tongues is introduced.
In paragraph 5 the symbolism of tongues is further developed. Abrahadabra is our primal example of an interlocked word. We assume that the reader has thoroughly studied that word in Liber D., etc. The sigil of Cancer links up this symbolism with the number of the chapter.
The remaining paragraphs continue the Gallic symbolism.
70
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ Ο
broomstick-babblings
FRATER PERDURABO is of the Sanhedrim of the Sabbath, say men; He is the Old Goat himself, say women.
Therefore do all adore him; the more they detest him the more do they adore him.
Ay! let us offer the Obscene Kiss!
Let us seek the Mystery of the Gnarled Oak, and of the Glacier Torrent!
To Him let us offer our babes! Around Him let us dance in the mad moonlight!
But FRATER PERDURABO is nothing but AN EYE; what eye none knoweth.
Skip, witches! Hop, toads! Take your pleasure! – for the play of the Universe is the pleasure of FRATER PERDURABO.
Commentary (O)
70 is the number of the letter Ain, the Devil in the Tarot.
The chapter refers to the Witches’ Sabbath, the description of which in Payne Knight should be carefully read before studying this chapter. All the allusions will then be obvious, save those which we proceed to note.
Sanhedrim, a body of 70 men. An Eye. Eye in Hebrew is Oin, 70.
The “gnarled oak” and the “glacier torrent” refer to the confessions made by many witches.
In paragraph 7 is seen the meaning of the chapter; the obscene and distorted character of much of the universe is a whim of the Creator.
71
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΟΑ
King’s College Chapel
For mind and body alike there is no purgative like Pranayama, no purgative like Pranayama.
For mind, for body, for mind and body alike – alike! – there is, there is, there is no purgative, no purgative like Pranayama – Pranayama! – Prana – yama! yea, for mind and body alike there is no purgative, no purgative, no purgative (for mind and body alike!) no purgative, purgative, purgative like Pranayama, no purgative for mind and body alike, like Pranayama, like Pranayama, like Prana – Prana – Prana – Prana – pranayama!
Pranayama!
AMEN.
Commentary (OA)
This chapter is a plain statement of fact, put in anthem form for emphasis.
The title is due to the circumstances of the early piety of Frater Perdurabo, who was frequently refreshed by hearing the anthems in this chief of the architectural glories of his Alma Mater.
72
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΟΒ
Hashed Pheasant
Shemhamphorash! all hail, divided Name!
Utter it once, O mortal over-rash! –
The Universe were swallowed up in flame –
Shemhamphorash!
Nor deem that thou amid the cosmic crash
May find one thing of all those things the same!
The world has gone to everlasting smash.
No! if creation did possess an aim,
(It does not) it were only to make hash
Of that most “high” and that most holy game,
Shemhamphorash!
COMMENTARY (ΟΒ)
There are three consecutive verses in the Pentateuch, each containing 72 letters. If these be written beneath each other, the middle verse bring reversed, i.e. as in English, and divisions are then made vertically, 72 tri-lateral names are formed, the sum of which is Tetragrammaton; this is the great and mysterious Divided Name; by adding the terminations Yod He, or Aleph Lamed, the names of 72 Angels are formed. The Hebrews say that by uttering this Name the universe is destroyed. This statement means the same as that of the Hindus, that the effective utterance of the name of Shiva would cause him to awake, and so destroy the universe.
In Egyptian and Gnostic magick we meet with pylons and Aeons, which only open on the utterance of the proper word.
In Mohammedan magick we find a similar doctrine and practice; and the whole of Mantra-Yoga has been built on this foundation.
Thoth, the god of Magick, is the inventor of speech; Christ is the Logos.
Lines 1–4 are now clear.
In lines 5
07 we see the results of Shivadarshana. Do not imagine that any single ides, however high, however holy (or even however insignificant!!), can escape the destruction.
The logician my say, “But white exists, and if white is destroyed, it leaves black; yet black exists. So that in that case at least one known phenomenon of this universe is identical with one of that.” Vain word!
The logician and his logic are alike involved in the universal ruin.
Lines 8–11 indicate that this fact is the essential one about Shivadarshana.
The title is explained by the intentionally blasphemous puns and colloquialisms of lines 9 and 10.
73
ΚΕΦΑΛΗ ΟΓ
THE DEVIL, THE OSTRICH, AND THE ORPHAN CHILD
Death rides the Camel of Initiation.36
Thou humped and stiff-necked one that groanest in Thine Asana, death will relieve thee!
Bite not, Zelator dear, but bide! Ten days didst thou go with water in thy belly? Thou shalt go twenty more with a firebrand at thy rump!
Ay! all thine aspiration is to death: death is the crown of all thine aspiration. Triple is the cord of silver moonlight; it shall hang thee, O Holy One, O Hanged Man, O Camel-Termination-of-the-third-person-plural for thy multiplicity, thou Ghost of a Non-Ego!
Could but Thy mother behold thee, O thou UNT!37
The Infinite Snake Ananta that surroundeth the Universe is but the Coffin-Worm!