The Way Back

by Stephanie Doyle

  Naked and underneath me.

  The words had naturally stunned her. And frightened her. And turned her on. Jamison Hunter wanted her. What the hell was up with that?

  A flash of white surrounded the car and two seconds later a crack of thunder sounded in the night sky. If it was possible, the rain fell harder.

  Images of the rain turning into a river and the car floating off the island out to sea started to flicker through her mind. Those thoughts were slightly less terrifying than trying to imagine what being naked with Jamison would be like.

  It would be awful. Not him. She was sure he’d be incredible. A man like him exuded sexual confidence and fierce physicality. No doubt his body was hard and rippled with muscles if the way he looked in his jogging clothes was any indication.

  She could see it now, them together in his bedroom, stripping off each other’s clothes, really into each other. Then it would take only a flash of her bare skin to remind her of everything she hated about her body. Her breasts were too big, her hips too wide, her butt…

  Well, let’s face it. A big reason she was huddled in a car on an island off Maine waiting to be swept out to sea by a deluge of rain was the size of her butt. She wondered what her replacement for Wake Up, Philadelphia was doing right now. Probably curled in some nice warm soft bed dreaming about how secure and happy her life was. Not even conscious of the day when it would all be ripped away.

  Another flash of lightning flickered and Gabby huddled tight waiting for the thunder. It rattled. Then it stopped and she heard a pounding on the car window. Startled, she screamed and watched as the lightning flashed again and illuminated a large figure outside the car.

  “Gabby, it’s me. Open the door.”

  It took a moment for the words to penetrate through the adrenaline haze. Jamison was trying to open the driver’s door and so she leaned between the seats and lifted the lock.

  The door opened and a spray of rain followed him inside. He was wearing a rain coat but even from here she could see the walk down the driveway had soaked him. She’d moved the car away from the house so as not to be tempted to knock on his door late at night. But she hadn’t gone any farther than the bottom of the lane in case there did happen to be a murderer lurking about the island looking for defenseless women sleeping in their cars…during a thunderstorm.

  “You scared the crap out of me.”

  “Sorry. Give me the key. I’ll pull up to the house. I didn’t realize there was going to be thunder when—”

  “You kicked me out?”

  “Key, Gabby.”

  She reached into her pocket and handed him the key, but pulled it back at the last second. “Does this mean I’m going to have to have sex with you?”

  Jamison was quiet for a moment. “Do you want to have sex with me?”

  She snorted. “That’s not a fair question. I’ve been fantasizing about Jamison Hunter for the past ten years of my life.”

  “Why? Why me?”

  Because he was everything to her. Everything she wanted to believe a man could be and he made her feel safe. Hell, she even felt safe right now.

  “You were heroic. Smart and handsome, brave and daring. You were larger than life. But I also thought you still might be someone who a person could sit beside and have a beer with. You made me feel safe in a dangerous world.” She stared out at the night, a little too embarrassed by her honesty to make eye contact. “Must seem silly to you.”

  “It does. What you saw was a fake image of me. A caricature the news created. If they could have, they would have had me walking around like a damn superhero. But I’m not talking about that guy and back then. I’m asking, do you want to have sex with me? The man you’ve known the past few days?”

  That question was way more difficult. The answer that leaped to her mind was something she really didn’t want to think about. So she went with her third thought.

  “It would compromise my professional integrity.”

  For whatever reason he found that hysterical. She waited until he’d stopped laughing so hard then handed him the key. He drove up the winding hill to his home. When they were parked next to his truck, he turned the engine off and for a time they simply sat listening to the thunder and the rain.

  “You can have the guest room.”

  “Thanks.”

  Jamison didn’t say anything more but she felt he wanted to. He wanted a real answer from her and not only because it might result in him getting laid. There was something else there, a vulnerability she sensed in him. And if that didn’t make him a little more attractive, she didn’t know what did.

  He opened the door and made a break for the porch. She wasn’t going to worry about her luggage and instead grabbed her purse and followed, squealing as the rain pelted her. Once inside, they walked through the house quietly.

  “Do you want anything?”

  “Just a bed.” It wasn’t hard to admit she was exhausted. The emotional roller coaster of the day had taken its toll and it wasn’t like she had gotten any sleep in the backseat.

  She followed him up the stairs which overlooked the spacious living area. From above she could see everything in one glance and noted it was definitely a man’s home. All stark lines and manly colors. It seemed a bit formidable. There were no decorative pillows. A room where people lived needed the softness of pillows. Only the skylights, which were black tonight, suggested any whimsy.

  The stairs opened to a hallway off of which were two doors.

  “That’s the guest room.” He pointed. “Should be clean. I have someone who comes in every other week and, even though I tell her not to bother, she’s a stickler for cleaning every room.”

  “Thanks.” Gabby started toward the door and stopped. This wasn’t going to be a good idea. In her mind she could already see how bad of an idea it actually was. But having your life ripped out from underneath you made a person a little more daring. When there was nothing to lose, there was also no fear.

  “Jamie?” She turned and saw him standing there. His face was hard, but also a little sad. A little lonely. “If I were a different person, I would want to…you know…with you. The person you’ve been these past few days. I like this person. But I’ve been burned. Badly. And you, you’re a—”

  “I’m a cheater. I cheat,” he said softly, sounding like a man who had spent his life whipping his skin out of guilt.

  “Yeah, you cheat,” she said. As much as he attracted her and fascinated her she could never let herself be involved with a man who, at heart, she couldn’t trust.

  “Goodnight, Gabby.”

  “Okay.” She turned her back on him then and entered the guest room finding a light switch on the wall. When she closed her door he was already inside his bedroom. She hated herself a little bit for hurting the man even more. Because what she said had hurt him. She knew that. And no man deserved that on the day he had to put his dog to sleep.

  * * *

  BLINKING HER EYES OPEN, Gabby registered the sunlit room around her. For seconds she had no idea where she was, but really didn’t care because she was completely comfortable. The bed was soft, the sheets were crisp, the pillow under her cheek was plump. She wasn’t wearing her usual pajama bottoms and tank, instead a sports bra and her panties.

  Had she gotten lucky last night?

  Instantly the fog cleared from her morning brain and she remembered it all. Carrying Shep up the hill. Seeing tears in Jamie’s eyes. Getting drunk with him, getting propositioned by him and then stabbing him through the heart with the truth she would never get involved with a man who she knew had been unfaithful to his wife.

  Fun day.

  And it wasn’t really over. He’d been good enough to allow her to stay in his house rather than try to sleep in the car during a thunderstorm, but according to the sun filtering through her window, the storm had passed and he was probably downstairs waiting to boot her out again.

  He wasn’t going to let her write a book about him. She wasn’t going to l
et herself have sex with him. Now all that was left to do was say her awkward goodbyes, slink back to New York with her tail between her legs and hope she could beg her boss not to fire her.

  Today was looking even better than yesterday.

  Groaning she rolled on to her back and wondered what would happen if she stayed in here all day. He wouldn’t be so rude to throw her out wearing nothing but her sports bra and panties, would he?

  Naked and underneath me.

  Those words came alive in her brain and reminded her of his raw side. She figured she shouldn’t take the chance. Climbing out of bed, she dressed in her running outfit. Given the long drive back to New York ahead of her, she was going to have to ask one last favor—use of a shower. She would grab her suitcase from the car, shower and change with a promise never to bother him again.

  So why was she standing immobile in the middle of the room?

  Because none of the options she’d outlined for today were appealing to her. Except maybe the shower.

  Her cell buzzed from inside her purse and, as if it were some kind of magic fairy ready to provide some new answer to all her problems, Gabby pounced on it. When she saw Melissa’s name hope turned into dread.

  This was it. Probably best to give her boss a heads-up as to what was happening. Maybe ask if she would actually consider accepting the advance from Jamie, because Gabby was convinced nobody was ever going to get this story.

  “Hey, Melissa.”

  “So, tell me. How are you doing? Still making progress?”

  A hundred responses ran through Gabby’s mind and ridiculously, foolishly, none of them were remotely truthful. Well, one was. “You are never going to believe where I am. I’m speaking to you right now from Jamison Hunter’s guest room. He’s asked me to stay with him.”

  “What? Seriously? As in stay with him while he tells you his story?”

  “I can’t think of any other reason he would invite me to stay, can you?”

  “No.” Melissa laughed. “I mean, why put up with a complete stranger if you aren’t at least interested in the idea of having her do your story? Great job, Gabby. Way to get him to open up.”

  Gabby bit her lip and wondered if there were any lingering bolts of lightning from last night’s storm that might be getting ready to strike her down. “Thanks. It hasn’t been easy, but I think he’s coming around.”

  Liar! Are you really so pathetic you would put off getting fired again for a few more days? A week at most?

  The answer was obviously yes.

  “Okay, well, look. We’re going to need a commitment at some point. But I don’t want to spook him. If he’s opening up and working with you, let’s go with that for now. Like I said before, I can’t guarantee you the job of ghost writer, but any notes and prep work you do on this will be compensated. Does that sound fair?”

  “Really fair.” Especially since there wasn’t going to be any notes or prep work. “Maybe a couple more weeks and I should have something concrete for you.” Like my resignation when I turn up in New York with nothing.

  “Two. I need to justify the expense of having you in Maine. Although I guess if you’re his guest, it should considerably cut down on your expenses.”

  Melissa was laughing and Gabby tried to chuckle along with her, but all she could imagine was spending another two weeks in her car. Was it worth it? Two more weeks of dodging being a failure?

  Again, yes. Two weeks would buy her time to think about her next step. Two weeks would give her time to plan. Two more weeks with Jamison Hunter. Gabby shook her head. What the hell was she doing?

  “And if you could send me a picture or something, that would be great.”

  “You want a picture? Of Jamison?”

  “Just something that shows you are where you say you are. I’m not doubting you. I’m not. I want to be able to show something to my boss so he can see we are finally making progress.”

  “I guess.” How hard would it be to text Melissa a picture of the man? “Okay. Well, I think I smell breakfast.”

  “Listen to you. Jamison Hunter—at one point named the sexiest man alive—is about to make you breakfast. Are you freaking?”

  Not half so much as when he told her he wanted to see her naked. That was full on freaking. “I’m cool. He’s just a man, Melissa. He puts his pants on one leg at a time. Not that I’ve seen him put his pants on or anything—”

  “Don’t worry. I know you wouldn’t let anything sexual happen between you two. Very unprofessional. Besides, I can’t imagine you’re his type.”

  Ouch.

  “I’m sorry, Gabby. I really didn’t intend to sound as bitchy as I just did. I just meant— I mean— He’s Jamison Hunter. He’s probably dating supermodels in between having actresses imported onto the island.”

  “No worries. You’re so right. What would a man like him ever see in someone like me? Well, I should go. I’ll check in, okay?”

  “Okay.”

  Gabby ended the call and tossed her phone into her purse. It was done. She’d lied and bought herself two additional weeks. She felt as though she was in some weird limbo place. She didn’t want to go back. She couldn’t see her way forward. She wondered if this was how being a ghost felt.

  She knew she couldn’t hide out in the guest room forever. She had to have some courage. Opening the door she was hit by the smell of bacon.

  Bacon was so good. A man who ran five miles a day could probably eat all the bacon he liked. Bastard.

  “Jamie!” The front door opened and closed and from the second floor landing Gabby could see Zhanna glide—there really was no other word for it—across the living room. Jamie met her halfway out of the kitchen. He had an apron tied around his waist. It was yellow and for some reason made Gabby’s heart stop.

  Zhanna wrapped herself around him and he patted her back. “I’m so sorry about Shep.”

  “It’s all right.”

  “But we all loved him. Even Adel, although she wouldn’t let him inside the diner.”

  “I know. He was a good dog.”

  Gabby watched the scene and thought about what Melissa had said. She doubted Zhanna was a supermodel who worked part-time as a waitress, but with her long, lean body and fascinating face it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Yes, those two hooking up made way more sense than Gabby hooking up with the guy. Walking into the guest room, she grabbed her phone and tapped on the camera.

  As she descended the stairs, she called to the two of them. “Hey, guys, say cheese.”

  They both turned in the direction of her voice and she snapped the picture. She looked at it as she got to the bottom of the steps, and felt her heart skip a beat. A horrible thud that reminded her she wasn’t worthy. They looked really good together. As though they fit somehow.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jamie barked. He moved out of Zhanna’s arms and walked toward Gabby with purpose. She didn’t even consider backing away because she couldn’t imagine what would have pissed him off so much. He took the phone from her hand and started messing around with her pictures.

  “Hey, it’s just a photo. My editor wanted proof I actually met you.”

  His face tight, he handed her the phone. “It’s deleted. Next time ask before you take a picture.”

  “What is she doing here?” Zhanna asked.

  “I had to let her stay since Susan kicked her out of the B and B.”

  “Yes, Susan kicked her out. I told her who she really was. She lied to Susan and told her she was a fiction writer. What bull.”

  Gabby winced. She hadn’t meant to lie to Susan, she’d simply wanted to spare herself the woman’s disapproval. Really, it was the same with Melissa. Lying to seek approval and esteem from others wasn’t the best habit to develop, Gabby knew. But apparently her self-preservation streak was alive and well.

  “Look, I’m sorry,” Gabby offered. “Can you appreciate my life is on the line here?”

  Jamie barked a laugh. “No, sweetcakes, I
cannot.”

  Fair enough. The man had been to war. Had risked his life in a space walk to save others. Lying to save her job wasn’t exactly on the same level. “Okay maybe not my actual life, but my professional one and it’s almost as important to me.”

  “You leave him alone.” Zhanna growled the words in her heavily accented voice.

  For whatever reason it was enough to piss Gabby off. She took an aggressive step forward. “Yeah, and what if I don’t? What are you going to do about it?”

  “Are you two serious?” Jamie stepped between them. “Enough. Zhanna there is bacon in the kitchen. Go make yourself some eggs and eat.”

  She left with a sulky pout and Gabby thought about what it would be like to slap her, even though she’d never hit anyone in her life before. Not even her half-sister when she was explaining why she and Brad were meant for each other.

  “What are you doing?”

  Gabby shrugged. “I don’t know. I really don’t know. I just— I can’t go back. Not yet. Please don’t make me go back.”

  He sighed. “Go upstairs and get your purse. I’ll follow you to Susan’s and I’ll talk to her about letting you stay.”

  Gabby smiled. “You will?”

  “Don’t get all mushy about it. I don’t know what it buys you other than more time away from your boss. I’m not going to do the book, Gabby. I’m never going to do it.”

  Gabby considered what he was saying. “Can I still meet you on the beach and run with you?”

  “You mean for the whole five minutes you can keep up?”

  “I was planning on going for six today.”

  Jamie shook his head. “What is it about you? Do what you want. It’s a free country. But stay out of Zhanna’s way, okay? I don’t need the drama of you two fighting.”

  “I’m not really a fighter anyway.”

  “Could have fooled me.”

  Gabby ran upstairs to get her purse and Jamie called out to Zhanna that he would be back in a few. Gabby considered asking to stay for bacon, but decided she shouldn’t push her luck. Then she pulled out her camera again. “About the proof I need—”