by West, T J
I pushed Harmony away, grabbed her hand and led her toward a secluded area that was less noisy. Her hand in mine felt so good, but I needed to tell her the dancing routine we just put on was a mistake. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of her like that. I felt I owed her an apology. I have this deep feeling she’s pure, wholesome and down right too good for me, and she deserved better than a messed up guy in a band who was never around.
We were near the restrooms in a dark space. I turned her back toward the wall and studied her. She was the most gorgeous woman I had ever laid my eyes on. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She couldn’t stop staring at me. Our lips were so close, on the brink of touching, I could feel her breath again. It was hot on my cheek, and coming out in rapid movements. I couldn’t stand it! Without warning I grabbed both of her wrists with one hand, put them above her head against the wall, clutched my hand onto her left hip and slammed our lips together. Goddamn she was heaven inside and outside my mouth, it was mind-blowing. If I somehow had only one wish left granted, I would want to taste her all fucking night and never let her leave my sight. I seriously wanted to drag her upstairs to an empty room and feast on her all night long. I could hear her whimpering, wanting to grasp onto me, but I wouldn’t let her. I loved hearing the sounds coming from within her as I bit into her lip, seizing onto her amazing ass. Holy shit my dick just twitched with envy from that squeeze, it wanted to take her so bad. Bliss was right here in my hands, against my body and on my lips. I honestly don’t believe I’ll ever be the same person after this.
Rationally I told myself I had to end this, but I wasn’t sure how to do it without hurting her. I don’t even know this woman, yet I already feel a connection with her. Two strangers making out in a dark hallway, bonded without words. I don’t want to believe in love at first sight, but how can I not? This unbelievable creature has taken the breath out of me.
Fuck, this needs to stop, now!
I release her body and take a step back. I swipe a hand through my fohawk, close my eyes, afraid to see what I’ve done. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t.....I’m sorry,” my breathing is uneven. I am almost panting. I slowly look up and Harmony is touching her bottom lip; it’s plump, swollen and still slightly open. As for her eyes….she almost looks surprised and hurt at the same time. That’s exactly what I did not want to happen.
“Why are you sorry?” She asks breathless and confused.
I’m so agitated I want nothing more than to grab onto her body again. I bounce my way back to her and cup her face. She leans into my hand, demanding more of me with her eyes. No...I can’t do it….no way will I become involved with her. The idea of being with her, just as I am leaving, is insane and she will get hurt. “I’m going away on tour, and the last thing I need is to be tied down to some chick.” Not the best thing to say to her while I’m mere inches from kissing her again. Yet she needs to know right off the bat how things need to be.
She flinches my hand away from her face and takes a step to the side so we’re not touching chest to chest anymore. “Wow, you really know how to make a woman feel special.” I wince from her statement. “So I guess I’ll go on that date with Wayne after all,” she mumbles so low I wasn’t sure I heard her correctly.
She tries to get passed me, but I grasp onto her upper bicep and stop her in her tracks. “Whoa, what? Did I just hear you say you’re going on a date with Wayne?” Why does this piss me off? What do I care if Wayne asked Harmony out, I don’t even know her. Yet I just sucked face with her and wanted her more than any woman before.
She scowls, which I find incredibly sexy; I love the little lines between her brows. She yanks her arm from my hold and grunts, “Yes. You got a problem with that?”
I throw my hands in the air and shout in her face. “Yes, I have a problem with that! He’s a fucking player! He’ll cheat on you the second he lays eyes on someone else. Trust me on this.”
She crosses her arms and retorts back, “And you don’t think you would do the same thing?” I wince again because she may be right. Why do I feel the need to protect this girl! What the hell is wrong with me! She doesn’t give me a chance to respond because she continues lecturing me. “For heaven's sake, Danny, we don’t even know one another. Plus it’s a date, not a marriage!”
My fists are clenched. I feel like I could punch a wall, or better yet I could go punch Wayne for asking her out. “Harmony, I don’t want you to get hurt,” my voice lowers.
She shakes her head and scoffs, “Thanks for the warning, but I’m a bit tougher than I look, so no reason to get yourself all worried for nothing. Have a good tour,” and she walks away, leaving me alone with my enraged feelings that confuse the hell out of me.
Although, she’s right once again….she’s fucking tough. She may look innocent and angelic on the outside, but what I just discovered is….she’s made of steel.
Almost five months of touring the United States and it was coming to an end. It was definitely the most amazing five months of my life. Not a single regret in getting signed with BT2090. June, our music label owner, has helped us live our dream by taking us on tour with one of the most well known rock bands in the country. King's Fate has been humble beyond belief in guiding us in and out of each concert, and the craziness that goes along with it. It’s been an incredible ride.
A couple months back Faith made herself known, surprising Lucky at one of our meet and greets with the fans. She decided to remain on tour with us until the very end. I wasn’t quite happy with it, though she made Lucky happy. I guess that’s all that matters, even if seeing her every fucking day drove me up the wall. I promised myself I would stay as far away as possible from her, but she’s been everywhere. Kind of hard when we’re all on a tight and narrow bus together. She’s tried talking to me, wanting me to discuss our Daddy issues. I am never going to be in the mood to talk about our dad or how Faith and I are siblings. Just thinking about it makes my blood boil. I just want to pretend she’s not here and enjoy the rest of the tour.
What I really want is the one person who I can’t stop thinking about. Not once did I go off on a sex binge with any of the groupie’s. Harmony has gotten under my skin whether I want her to be there or not. I want to relive that one spontaneous night we had and taste her again. This time I wouldn’t push her away, I would push myself inside her. I want her so bad my dick is protruding right now. It’s been too long since I’ve seen those amazing dark eyes of hers, I’m almost ready to fly home. Yet I’m just thinking crazy; I can’t be with anyone, not when my career has just begun. However, every time she sends me a text I grin a stupid ass grin and my heart starts to race. She affects me like no other woman has. How she got my phone number in the first place, I have no clue. I’ll admit I like receiving them; a simple, how’s the tour, or just saying hi has made my day. Her texts make me feel like I’m close to home, although I don’t deserve her kindness. I treated her like crap the night I kissed her, danced with her, pressed my body against her….why can’t I stop thinking about her?
We’re traveling to Phoenix, Arizona for our final concert streak. I wanted to visit my mom, but I knew due to our tight schedule it was impossible, so I arranged a VIP pass for her to have after the show so she could come see me. I was exhausted and ready for it to be over even though I’ve had the time of my life, but I couldn’t wait to be in my own bed again.
The bus must have stopped; I had fallen asleep on the couch while everyone was resting in their bunks. Wayne wakes me up by putting his big ass hand on my face. “Wake the fuck up dude, we’re here,” he says, annoyingly.
I jerk his hand away from my face, feeling pissed off all of sudden. “Get your hand out of my face, you douche.”
Wayne chuckles, “Shit, what blew your torch?”
I wipe my face down with my hand, trying to wake up and bring myself up from lying down. “Not now, Wayne,” I grumpily reply.
“You’re a real SOB, bro.” He walks away and out the bus door.
Sometimes I just wa
nt to kick his ass, he’s been driving me crazy lately. Though I’m sure we all have been driving each other crazy; we’ve been crammed together for months now so it’s time for a break. Or maybe it has to do with Harmony? He’s been talking about her non-stop all week, saying how he can’t wait to take her out again, to show her a good time. His way of showing anyone a good time is by taking them to his bed. The thought makes me want to hurl. I don’t know how many women he’s slept with over the past few months. Harmony doesn’t deserve someone who’s been screwing other women behind her back. She never mentions Wayne in her texts, so who knows how she really feels about him? They only went out on one date, yet I never heard a thing about it from her. Although Wayne had plenty of things to say about her: she was hot, no….fucking hot, tits that he could never forget, an ass he wanted to spank while he was taking her from behind. I hated hearing him talk about her as if she was his blow up toy. What she saw in him, I’ll never know. He has no respect for women.
I sit up from the couch, stretch and head toward my bunk to get my sunglasses when I get stuck with Faith in the narrow hallway. I do my best to be a gentleman and let her pass first. I laugh at myself whenever I think of it - I am no gentleman. “You go,” I offer.
“No, it’s okay, you go first.”
Goddamn, this woman frustrates me! “Will you just fucking go already!” I shout.
Lucky suddenly comes out of their “suite” and gets up behind Faith. “Hey!” He shouts back.
Faith turns around and places her palm on his chest. “It’s okay,” she says, calmly.
“It’s not okay,” he explains, gritting his teeth and staring at me with anger in his eyes. “I’ll catch up with you.” He gives Faith a kiss. I move out of her way as she walks past me. Lucky gets up in my face and utters, “Danny-boy, I swear to God you need to cool it with Faith. Get a grip before I throw you under this bus.” I look away. I really don’t like being such a disappointment in Lucky’s eyes. We used to be tight, had each other’s back, but now….now we’re just in a band together. Once Lucky storms off, Jason and Slim climb out of their bunks. They ignore the whole situation and head out as well. I’m left alone with my own guilty conscious, feeling like shit. Faith brings out the worst in me and I hate it. I hate how she can cause me so much anger just by looking at me. I don’t know how to control it. Shit, Wayne is now doing the same thing. Maybe I do need to get my shit together?
We spent an hour or so doing the press thing and the fan line up. When it was finally over we all had some time to rest before we started rehearsal. There was catered food in the green room so I took a plate of it back to the bus and inhaled it. I was starving and needed my energy for tonight.
I had just thrown away my plate when Faith enters the bus. Here we go again, miss little perfect wants to discuss our so called sibling rivalry. She just won’t quit bugging me.
She stands near the door, crossing her arms. “Hey, we need to talk.”
I know how much of an asshole I am and I know I need to calm down, but I lose it….I really lose it with her. “Fuck!” I shout, almost on the verge of laughing because I can’t seem to get away from her. I hold out my arms and state, “You’re everywhere! I need a little space, dammit!” Then sit back onto the couch.
She tries to walk closer to me, but stops herself, pleading, “Please, Danny - “
I cut her off, “Did you come on this tour just to torture the hell out of me?”
She shakes her head and scoffs, “No, of course not! I came because I love Lucas, and I want to be with him...always.” Her voice cracks when she asks, “Why on earth do you hate me so much?”
I swipe a hand through my hair, frustrated that she keeps asking me the same question. “You know the reason,” I retort back.
“I never did a goddamn thing to you!” I Look up at her, not wanting to see the tears that have formed in her eyes. “I was just a baby when he left you, Danny, and I know that hurts more than anything, I don’t blame you for that.” She wipes away a tear and calms herself down by taking a deep breath. Wish I had her stamina, but I don’t have it in me right now. “I never thought, for one second, he would ever leave his child behind. I was shocked when I found that out and I hurt for you.”
“Do not pity me,” I snap.
“I don’t. I just…..I want us to become…..”
I immediately stand up and jerk my finger toward her face. “Not going to go there. We are so not going to become brother and sister, no way in hell. I’ll accept you as Lucky’s girlfriend, for him, but not as my sister. I can’t do that.”
“Then you’re just as horrible as our father was; a good for nothing asshole.”
Her accusation threw me in for a loop. I hated being compared to him, even though I don’t remember a whole lot about him. “You have a lot of nerve comparing me to him.”
“How can I not compare?” She slaps her hands against her thighs. “You never listen to me, just like him! He never let me have a say, always assumed the worse, never trusted my judgement, my decisions, and you have a temper. You carry that same temper which destroyed my relationship with him.” Shit, her statement really hurt, I don’t even know how to respond. The truth is I did not even know him. Could I be just like him? I look away from her and walk over to our mini fridge for a beer. Faith lowers her voice and continues, “Look, I didn’t come in here to argue with you. I came to let you know that my mom got Gordon’s will….and you’re in it.”
I whip around, stunned. “What? Why?”
“I don’t know why Danny, you just are,” she shrugs. “When we get home we need to sit down and look at it.”
She then exits the bus, leaving me with a beer in hand and a confused surprised look on my face. I’m in his will? Why? He didn’t love me, so how could he possibly put me in there? I take one look at my beer, tilt my head back, and guzzle it down.
WHAT I WOULDN’T GIVE TO have my parents back. When I was ten years old I lost them both due to a car accident. It was only an hour after they had dropped me off at my friend’s house for a sleepover, when my friend’s mother got the deadly phone call. In a blink of an eye, I was an orphan.
My parents, my sister and I lived life on the road. We traveled all over the United States, hopping from one house to another, never staying more than a year. My dad never had to be in an office. He worked in sales with a major computer company. He would go to different companies and try to sell his company’s products. He was a very good salesman. We lived comfortably on what he made. My mother didn’t work. She homeschooled me and my sister Melody. It never mattered where we lived, education went with us. However, the year before our parents were killed, Melody moved to Los Angeles from San Diego to pursue her singing career as an indie artist. Unfortunately she had to move back home to take care of me. We didn’t have any extended family who could take me in. If it weren’t for her, I would have been put into foster care. Melody is ten years older than me, so at the age of twenty she became an instant parent.