Destructive

by Jessica Prince

“Used to what exactly?”

  His cheeks stain red just briefly, telling me that whatever he’s about to say makes him uncomfortable.

  “Used to trying to get to know a woman and letting her know me in exchange. You fascinate me, Marley. And while I’d love nothing more than to get you naked and keep you in my bed for days, I want more than that.”

  Tingles rush over my skin and arousal floods between my legs at the thought of us naked together. Damn betraying body! I give my head a small shake, trying to clear away the lustful thoughts. “So, what is it that you want? You know, other than to have sex with me, of course.”

  His response is simple. “A date.”

  Just those two little words cause my back to go straight and my spine to stiffen.

  “A date?”

  “Yes.” He nods his head and smiles, so sure of himself.

  I’m completely flabbergasted. I hold up my hands and shake my head, trying to understand. “Let me get this straight. You break into my house, scare the ever-loving shit out of me, and almost get yourself shot just so you can ask me on a date?”

  He tilts his head, appearing to give my question some thought. “That sounds about right, yeah. Although, we need to discuss why you feel the need to own a gun in the first place.”

  The man is completely certifiable. “Are you insane?”

  He chuckles and tucks his hands back in his pockets, looking way more casual than this weird conversation warrants.

  “No, seriously. Are you actually crazy, like diagnosed and medicated and all that? Because that’s the only thing that would explain your actions.”

  His confidence is back in full effect. “I can assure you that I’m not, bella. I’m just a very determined man.”

  I turn to the bar separating my kitchen from the living area and place my hands on it for support. This man is driving me out of my mind. I can’t get a read on him. First, he simply wants to fuck me, and now, he’s going out of his way to get me to go on a date?

  I can’t figure out what he’s playing at, and when I say as much, he just laughs it off as if it’s nothing.

  “Marley, all I’m asking for is one date. If, at the end of the evening, you never want to see me again, you have my word that I’ll back off. But you can’t deny that there’s something between us. Some…pull that attracts you to me. I can see it in your eyes even when you’re fighting me.”

  I have no rebuttal for that. He’s right.

  “I know you feel it because I feel it, too. Just one date.”

  When I look back at him, the vulnerability has returned, making it impossible to fight whatever it is that’s between us. I know I’m digging my own grave by agreeing to this madness, but I can’t fight him on it anymore. “Fine, one date. And you’ll leave me alone after, if I ask you to?”

  Part of me wants his reassurance that he’s a man of his word while the other part is screaming not to let him walk away. I’ve never desired anything other than my freedom…until I met Gabriel.

  “If that’s what you want, you have my word, bella. But fair warning—I’m going to do everything in my power to make sure you want to see me again.”

  I don’t doubt that for a second.

  “Are you working tomorrow night?” he asks.

  I give my head a shake. “No, I’m off tomorrow.”

  He shoots another breathtaking smile at me, and I can practically feel my panties melting away. He’s just too beautiful for words.

  “Good. I’ll pick you up at seven. Wear a dress.” He walks over to me and places a lingering kiss on my cheek before walking out the door.

  I put my hand on my cheek once the door is firmly shut behind him, knowing I’ll feel the heat his lips left behind for the rest of the night.

  I’m fucked.

  ***

  “A date?”

  Why is this so hard for everyone to believe?

  “Yes, Aldo, a date. Christ, you sound just like Marley.”

  “You mean stunned? Aghast? A-fucking-mazed—”

  “You can quit with the vocabulary lesson. I get it, dickhead.”

  A loud rumbling laugh escapes from Aldo’s barrel chest. I’m contemplating where I can hit him to cause the most pain when he finally collects himself enough to talk.

  “Sorry, boss. But do you even know how to date a chick? I mean, you realize you’ll have to wine and dine the bitch before she lets you anywhere near her snatch, right?”

  Anger courses through my veins. Red is all I can see. “Talk about her that way again, and I’ll personally put you in the ground.”

  All the humor washes away from his expression. I’ve left him momentarily stunned.

  “Jesus, Gabe. You actually like this girl.”

  I can’t fault him for being confused at the thought of me caring about a woman. I made it my mission for almost five years to keep women at a distance. I never let anyone close. But there is just something about Marley that I can’t put my finger on. The woman has penetrated every barrier I had in place with a simple look. She doesn’t even have to try, and she already has me craving her.

  “You sure that’s smart, man? Now is not really the time for you to get involved with some random woman, not with Gianni breathing down our necks.”

  I lean back in my chair, grabbing the back of my neck with both hands and squeezing. He’s right. I know that. I just can’t help myself.

  “Gianni’s nothing more than an annoyance, one that I plan on taking care of soon enough.”

  “You never should have hired him, Gabe. The man’s always been a loose canon. And now, with you trying to pass the drug business off to Reyes, he’s become even more unstable.”

  Gianni has been a long-time friend of mine. We grew up together, and he’s someone I thought I could trust. When I was forced into the drug trade, I brought him in to keep the business running for me, so I could keep my hands as clean as possible. But he got money hungry. When we started taking measures to pass the drugs off to an associate, the thought of losing out on all that cash drove him mad. He broke away from the business, went rogue, and started taking out what he viewed as the competition, causing what was supposed to be an easy transition to become an unbelievably huge pain in my ass.

  “The drugs were always supposed to be temporary, Aldo. You know this. It was decided from the beginning that Reyes would take over when we accomplished what we needed.”

  Disappointment shines in Aldo’s eyes, making my gut clench. “And have we accomplished that, boss?”

  There’s no escaping the guilt clawing at my conscience. I understand Aldo’s resentment toward my decision, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s time.

  “It’s been almost five years, Aldo. There hasn’t been so much as a single sighting of Almaraz this whole time.”

  Faster than I’ve ever seen him move, Aldo is up from the couch by my office door and standing over my desk. His massive frame would intimidate anyone else, but I understand where his anger comes from. I feel it, too, every day I’m still breathing.

  “So, what? You’re just going to give up? You set your sights on some pussy, and you’re gonna act like they never existed?”

  Now, I’m on my feet, my nose inches from his. We’re so close that I can feel his breath on my face. “I think about them every day! Every. Fucking. Day, Aldo. Never doubt that!”

  He throws his large arms up in exasperation before turning away from me and pacing the length of my desk. “Then, why have you stopped looking for him, Gabriel? Why have you given up?”

  My indignation deflates with his words. I’ve constantly told myself that it isn’t giving up but moving on. I’m just not sure if I believe that.

  “I can’t keep living for vengeance every day, my friend. And neither can you. It’s turning us into people we don’t want to be, people they would never have been proud of.”

  He visibly flinches, and I know he knows I’m right.

  “Just because we’re getting out of the drug trade doesn’t me
an I’ve given up on finding Almaraz. We just have to find another way to do it.”

  “We have to find him, Gabe. We have to find him and make him pay.”

  “We will. I promise.”

  He moves to the door of my office and opens it, but then he looks back over his shoulder before he crosses the threshold. “Good luck on your date tonight, boss. I mean that. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time. I almost forgot what it looks like.”

  I tilt my head in confusion and meet his dark gaze. “What, what looks like?”

  “You being happy. You deserve it. Don’t think I don’t know that.”

  And with that, he’s gone.

  ***

  The rest of the day moves quickly, but the tension from my conversation with Aldo still lingers in the air, weighing down on me like a ton of bricks. I try to push the thoughts away, but they remain in the back of my mind, refusing to leave. It’s a constant reminder of how life used to be, how I used to be. Looking down at the Cartier watch on my wrist, I see it’s already a quarter past five. If I don’t leave soon, I’ll be late picking up Marley.

  Just the thought of seeing her again causes my skin to tingle in anticipation. I feel like a fucking teenager about to get lucky for the first time. Christ, I’ve turned into some pathetic asshole, nervous about taking a woman out to dinner. But this is what she does to me. And fuck if I don’t secretly enjoy it.

  I press the intercom button on my phone. “Yvonne, can you come here, please?”

  Seconds after being summoned, she saunters through the door like a sex kitten. The sight of her in those tight-as-hell pencil skirts and five-inch heels used to be enough to get me hard. Hell, I’ve even taken advantage of her eager need to please me a time or two. Now, it does nothing for me.

  “Yes, sir?” Her voice is low and breathy. “Is there something I can help you with?”

  She seductively drags a red-tipped nail down the front of her low-cut blouse, practically spelling out what she’s willing to help me with. Unfortunately for her, after meeting Marley, the sight of my current secretary and former fuck buddy does nothing for me.

  “I need you to reschedule the rest of my calls. I’ll be leaving shortly, and I won’t be available for the remainder of the night.”

  I watch as bewilderment crosses her face. I have to stifle the laugh building up at her reaction when she realizes that she won’t be getting fucked three ways from Sunday.

  “I’m sorry, sir. You’re leaving early?”

  A caustic smirk spreads across my lips. “I believe that’s what I just said, is it not?”

  My inner asshole is coming out to play. Just because I’ve given this woman what she’s wanted in the past doesn’t mean I’m available to service her needs whenever she has an itch she wants scratched. Sex is always on my terms, not the other way around.

  “I have plans for the evening that require me to leave a little early. Is that a problem?”

  Her eyes grow wide as she shakes her head. “N-no, sir. I just didn’t see anything on your calendar for this evening is all. I was confused.”

  “Well, that’s because this is personal. I don’t normally make a habit of putting dates on my business schedule.”

  “A date?”

  I don’t know which expression on her face annoys me the most—the bewilderment or the unadulterated jealousy that she’s doing a lousy job of hiding.

  “That’s correct. I have a date tonight. That will be all.” I glance down at my computer screen, effectively dismissing her.

  I know I’m going to hell for it, but I just can’t help myself. I’ve never been anything but brutally honest with the women I’ve been sexually involved with. Yvonne knew upfront that our relationship—if it could even be referred to as that—was nothing more than a matter of convenience. If she’s chosen to build it up in her head as something it’s not, it’s my job to clear up her confusion, no matter how callous I come across. The minute I give an inch, she’ll try her best to take a mile.

  Her voice is unsteady when she speaks again, “Y-yes, sir.”

  Since meeting Marley though, something inside of me has changed. I know I have to make things crystal clear with Yvonne, but now, I actually feel a little guilty about it.

  “Yes. Please be sure to lock up before you leave. And have a good evening,” I add as a sorry attempt to maybe lessen the blow I just gave to her ego.

  She doesn’t bother speaking. She simply nods and heads back to her desk, her head hanging in defeat the entire time.

  Women.

  I don’t think I’ve been so nervous in my entire life. I’ve experienced fear too many times to count, but this is different. My stomach has been in knots all day, feeling as though hummingbirds are fluttering around at full speed. I haven’t been able to put anything more than coffee in me all day. My nerves are shot, and I’m so anxious. I feel like the only thing holding me together is my skin.

  I wanted to keep this date private. I knew if I let on to Carmen, she’d completely freak out, effectively making me even more nervous. But after my third attempt at creating a smoky eye with my makeup and failing epically, I bit the bullet and called her. I tell her what I need and exactly why I need it.

  “Ah!” she screams into the phone, nearly causing me to go deaf.

  “Do you think you could refrain from going ballistic long enough to help me get ready? Please?” I plead into the phone.

  “Don’t sweat it, girl. I got you. Where did he say he is taking you?”

  I restlessly chew on my thumbnail, unconsciously biting it down to the quick. “He didn’t,” I reply. “He just said to wear a dress.”

  “Okay, do you have a dress?”

  I do a mental run-through of the limited selection in my closet. The only thing I can recall is the boring boatneck black dress I bought on the off chance I’d ever need to wear something other than jeans and t-shirts. I got it on sale at a consignment store about two years ago. To say it is outdated is an understatement.

  “Uh…”

  Sensing my unease, Carmen jumps in to save the day. “No worries. I’ve got a million. I’ll bring a few that I think will work. Give me twenty minutes.”

  She disconnects the call, and I release a relieved breath. Words cannot express how much I love that woman.

  Like clockwork, twenty minutes later, Carmen comes strutting through my front door, carrying a large garment bag and a weird suitcase-looking thingy.

  “What the hell is that?”

  She lifts up the strange case in question. “This, my dear clueless friend, is a makeup case. And it’s about to save your cute little ass.”

  She tosses the garment bag across the back of the couch and then ushers me into my tiny bathroom.

  She plants me on the toilet, and with one swoop, she brushes everything on my bathroom counter into the sink.

  “Hey!”

  She gives me that shut-the-hell-up-I’m-in-charge look and goes about setting up everything she’s going to need to get me ready for tonight, which is a lot apparently. I’m starting to question my sanity in calling her over for help.

  “What’s that?” I’m more afraid than curious of the metal contraption she just plugged into my wall.

  She holds up a little pen-looking thingy with some sort of spout on top of it. “This is for airbrushing. It’ll make your skin look flawless. Now, close your eyes, and hold your breath. And whatever you do, don’t move.”

  Nope. Not happening. “Uh, Car, I love ya and all, but seriously, this is way overboard. I hardly ever wear makeup as it is. I don’t want you to actually paint my face. I just need a little help with my eye shadow.”

  She rolls her eyes and lets out an exaggerated sigh. “Fine, whatever.” She puts the scary little machine away and begins pulling out what can only be described as pallets of eye shadow. How can one woman need so much damn makeup?

  Several minutes later, my face is made up to perfection. And I have to hand it to her. Even with all my blinking and s
quinting during the process, she didn’t poke me in the eye once.

  “You have to be the most difficult person in the world to put makeup on,” she insists. “Remind me to never do this shit again.”

  I take a peek at myself in the mirror, and I can’t contain the smile that spreads across my lightly glossed lips. She pulled off the perfect smoky eye. With two different shades of gray, lightly smudged liner, and mascara, the green in my eyes pops beautifully.

  “Ah, but you did such a good job, Carmen. You made me look so pretty!”

  Her lip twitches slightly, and she leans in to give me a kiss on my blushed cheek. “You’re already beautiful, Marley, I just highlighted your natural assets. Now, sit your ass down, so I can do your hair. That man is going to swallow his tongue when he sees you!”

  Using something she calls a wand, Carmen creates thick, flawless curls in my long black hair. I can’t get over the transformation she made in just under half an hour.

  Pulling me from the cramped space in the bathroom, Carmen drags me back to the living room and unzips the garment bag. She pulls out several dresses for me to choose from, ranging from club to little black dresses. There’s no way in hell I’m wearing the club wear full of sequins and sparkles, barely long enough to cover my ass.

  After going through every option, I finally settle on the only one that came close to hitting mid-thigh. That is one of the only downfalls to borrowing clothes from a short friend. Carmen likes her dresses to be short on her, which makes them microscopic on me.

  The dress I chose is white, and the stretchy material hugs every one of my curves like a gentle caress. It has a dangerously low back, which makes wearing a bra impossible, but the front comes all the way up with an embellished halter neck covered with gold beads. It’s classy yet sexy all at the same time. I feel so gorgeous in it that the lack of length doesn’t bother me. The white makes my natural olive coloring seem even tanner. After matching the dress with a pair of Carmen’s gold strappy heels that add another four inches to my five-four frame, I’m ready for the night ahead.

  I just wish my confident exterior matched how I’m feeling on the inside. I’m a jumbled mess of nerves.