Destructive

by Jessica Prince

  I look back up at her red faced, my eyes having grown wide at being busted before I even had a chance to speak. “Oh my god! Please tell me you had sex with that fine piece of ass!”

  I’d give anything to be able to crawl back in bed at this very moment and die of embarrassment. She squeals with delight when I cover my heated face with both my hands. “You did! You totally banged him!”

  Dropping my hands back at my side I cut my eyes at her. “I did not, Carmen.”

  She crosses her arms over her chest, showing off an abundant amount of cleavage in her dangerously low cut top, and pins me with a look. “Oh yeah, then how’d you get the bruises, Marley? Those are totally sex bruises.”

  She wasn’t completely wrong. “We didn’t have sex. We just kind of…”

  “Kind of what?” she asks when I don’t finish my sentence.

  Ducking my head so I can’t see her reaction, I mumble, “Dry humped in the driver seat of his car.”

  The scream she emits is so shrill I’m afraid my ears may start bleeding. “That’s great!” She yells.

  “How is that great, Car? Don’t you think it’s a little…I don’t know, slutty? I mean, it was only our first date and I’m already letting him get me off in his car? I’m not sure how I feel about that.”

  She hops off the counter and walks over to grab her own mug from the cabinet. Moving my own out of the way, she pops hers down and begins to fill it up while I doctor up my own coffee. “It’s not slutty at all. You’re both adults and are allowed to do whatever the hell you feel like doing. You want to fuck? Go for it. You want to get off grinding against each other like two teenagers in the back of your parents’ car? Have at it, babe. You’ll get no judgment from me. I’m just thrilled you’re finally putting yourself out there. I mean, how long has it been since you’ve been laid, Marley?”

  At her question, my entire body tenses. It’s been over four years since I’ve had sex—if it could even be referred to as that. All of the sudden, it feels like my stomach is being squeezed into a fist. Memories of my last “encounter” flood my brain, making me cringe. But I can’t admit any of this to Carmen? How do I possibly admit to her that the only experiences I’ve ever had were at the hands of the men my mother traded me to in exchange for keeping her cocaine stocked?

  “Hey,” Carmen’s voice snaps me back to reality. “Where’d you go just now?” she asks with concern.

  I shake my head, trying to dispel the disturbing thoughts that managed to creep up on me. “Nowhere. Just thinking.”

  Putting her untouched coffee down on the counter, she turns to me and takes my cheeks in her hands. “I hate it when you do that. Talk to me,” she pleads. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

  Could I? Would she really be able to handle hearing about all the demons from my past? Demons that still haunt me to this day. I’m not willing to risk it. I need her in my life. I cannot lose her.”

  “I’m fine, I promise.”

  Her blonde bangs wisp up as she lets out a frustrated breath. “Fine, if you say so. But the offer stands. You ever need to get that two ton brick you’re holding on to off your chest, I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

  After that, we turn the conversation to lighter topics. I fill her in on how the date went, even going so far as telling her about Hostess Alison—who’s ass she immediately offered to kick for me. After getting her fill of the juicy details, she hangs around until it’s time for me to start getting ready for work.

  Even though we left things on a lighter note, I’m still discombobulated from earlier. That’s what those memories do to me. They have too strong of a hold on me, threatening to pull me into a suffocating depression. It doesn’t matter how hard I try to brush the unsettling feelings away, they still linger, taking me from up to down in seconds and holding me prisoner there.

  I manage to get myself ready, into my car, and to the parking lot of Fletchers without any problems, even with that menacing cloud hanging over my head. I’m just about to climb out of my car when my phone pings, alerting me to a text message.

  GB: Morning, baby.

  And there it is, that delicious tingle I got when he called me that last night. Two simple words from Gabriel are enough to obliterate the depressive state I was just in moment ago. Grinning like an idiot, I hit reply.

  Me: Who is this?

  I can’t resist the opportunity to mess with him whenever it’s presented to me. My phone pings moments after I hit send.

  GB: You think you’re funny, huh?

  Me: Yup ;)

  I’m sure I look like a lunatic, sitting in my car by myself laughing at a text message.

  GB: Would it break the rules of going slow if I told you I’m getting hard just thinking about you?

  Dear god, what this man is able to do to me with just a few typed words should be illegal. I’m sure my panties just disintegrated.

  Me: Hmmm. I’m pretty sure it would.

  GB: So telling you I jacked off in the shower last night…and this morning…to the thought of you coming would wrong?

  All thought of anything other than Gabriel have just disappeared. All I’m thinking about is him naked…wet…his cock in his hand. Jesus, pull it together, Marley.

  Me: That would DEFINITELY be breaking the rules.

  GB: What if I told you I came harder at just the image of you in my head than I ever have before?”

  My breasts grow heavy and my nipples pebble in response. This is becoming my body’s involuntary reaction to anything having to do with Gabriel.

  Me: Oh, yeah. That would be a big no no.

  GB: Then I won’t tell you any of that ;)

  Me: HA!

  GB: I want to see you again.

  I want to see him too. So badly, in fact, that if my bills and school didn’t depend on the paycheck I was pulling in at Fletchers, I’d be tempted to blow off work.

  Me: Just got to work :( Speaking of…everything go ok last night?

  GB: Yep, everything’s cool. What about tonight?

  I’m giddy at the fact he seems so determined to see me again today.

  Me: I have class tonight.

  GB: You’re being difficult.

  At that, I let out a loud bark of laughter.

  Me: Ahh, are you pouting right now?

  GB: Real men don’t pout. We brood.

  Me: Fine… are you brooding right now?

  GB:….maybe.

  Another text comes through before I have a chance to respond.

  GB: What about after you’re done with class? Come over to my place. I’ll cook for you.

  How could I possibly say no to that?

  Me: Okay, but you better be a good cook.

  GB: Rephrase. Come over to my place and I’ll order in for you ;)

  Me: Sounds like a plan. Text me your address and I’ll head over when I’m done with school. Gotta get to work. You’re making me late.

  GB: All right, baby. Have a good day.

  Feeling lighter than I had earlier, I climb out of my car and head inside to start my shift, knowing there’s no way I’ll be able to wipe the grin off of my face for the rest of the day.

  The high I’d been riding my entire shift deflated the second I walked out to the parking lot and discovered my piece of crap car wouldn’t start. Fortunately, Matt hadn’t left yet so he was able to take a look at it for me. Unfortunately, the problem seemed to be much more than just the battery. It was official. My car was dead.

  Matt was kind enough to drive me to school and offer to pick me back up. I’m thankful that I have such good friends in him and Carmen, but I can’t help but feel bummed that my plans for the night will have to be cancelled.

  Pulling my cell phone from my purse, I dial as I walk toward class.

  Gabriel answers his phone after two rings with a soft, “Bella,” making me all melty inside.

  “Hey,” I start. “Do you have a second to talk?”

  “I always have time for you, baby.”


  Damn it. Did he have to be so sweet? “I’m calling with some bad news.”

  He stays quiet for a few seconds before asking, “Oh? And what’s that?”

  Letting out a dejected sigh, I tell him, “I’m going to have to cancel tonight. My car decided that today’s the day it wanted to crap out on me completely. There’s no bringing it back this time.”

  “Where are you now?” is all he asks. He doesn’t even acknowledge that I just broke our date.

  “I’m at school. Matty just dropped me off and is going to come pick me up later.”

  Again, more silence then, “Who’s Matty?” Instantly, my brows pull into a frown at his clipped words.

  “A friend of mine from work.”

  “Well, call your friend and tell him not to worry about picking you up. I’ll send a driver to come get you and bring you to my place. No need to cancel what we already planned.”

  Um, what?

  “I’m not getting in a car with some strange guy.”

  “That’s just ridiculous,” he spits back. “It’s not some strange guy. It’s my own personal driver. You make it sound like I’d send a serial killer to pick you up.”

  “Excuse me?” My voice comes out intentionally harsh. His tone, combine with his controlling, insensitive statements sends every one of my senses into high alert. “No offense, Gabriel, but I don’t necessarily feel comfortable getting in a car with someone I don’t know.”

  I swear I hear him growling though the line before he speaks again with a clipped, “And I don’t necessarily feel comfortable with my girl being driven around the city by some other guy.”

  That unsettling feeling from this morning comes back full force like a punch to the gut. “Matt’s my friend, Gabriel. I don’t have to defend my relationship with him to you. He’s picking me up after school. End of story. We’ll have to do dinner some other night.” If I didn’t decide to blow him off all together after this phone call.

  “I don’t see why we have to cancel our plans when I offered you a perfectly logical alternative. I don’t know why you insist on being difficult.”

  “I’m not being difficult,” I seethe. “You’re being a jackass. I already told you I don’t feel comfortable getting into a car with someone I don’t know. That should be reason enough for you to drop it, but since you couldn’t do that, I don’t see the need for this conversation to last any longer than it already has. I don’t do well with being bossed around, Gabriel. Goodbye.”

  I don’t give him the opportunity to respond before I push the end button, disconnecting the call. I turn my phone on silent and shove it into my bag as I walk through the door of the classroom.

  I spend the next ninety minutes with a ball of anxiety lodged in my chest.

  ***

  Did she just hang up on me?

  “Did she just hang up on you?” Aldo asks with a laugh as I stare down at my phone in shock. What the hell just happened?

  “Holy shit, boss. I think I love this girl.” Aldo is hunched over, arms crossed over his stomach as he laughs uncontrollably.

  “I don’t see what’s so fucking funny!” I slam my cell down on my desk hard enough to break it. Thank Christ for that indestructible case. It takes a lot of effort to harness the desire to hurl the damn thing into the wall.

  “Of course you don’t,” Aldo chuckles as he collapses onto the couch by my office door. “Because you’re in the wrong, and there’s no way in hell you’d ever be willing to admit that.”

  “How am I in the wrong? She wanted to cancel our plans for tonight and I offered her a solution. That’s not wrong. That’s thoughtful.”

  “Nooo,” he drags out like he’s talking to a child. “You didn’t offer her anything…you demanded. There’s a difference. You basically told her what she was going to do and how she was going to do it. In my experience, women don’t take to kindly to that.”

  “What experience?” I scoff. “When was the last time you even fucked a woman, huh?”

  “Hey, just because I like to keep my cock out of the public eye doesn’t mean it’s not being used. Maybe you should try it some time.”

  “You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about,” I grumble. Sitting down at my desk, I pretend to work while I run over what he’s just said.

  Aldo tosses his big hands up in mock defeat. “Fine, don’t believe me, it’s your funeral. But don’t come bitching to me when you’re stuck fucking the same played out pussy you have on speed dial because you couldn’t admit you screwed up.”

  I think on that for a while before hitting the intercom button on my office phone. “Yvonne, cancel the rest of my meetings today, I’m leaving.”

  “Where are you going?” Aldo asks as I grab my suit jacket from the coat rack and slip it on.

  “To fix this shit so I don’t have to chase after her ass again or fuck played out pussy as you so eloquently pointed out.” Aldo slips into another fit of laughter as I whip my door open and head out.

  He’s lucky I’m on a mission, or I’d have made it a point to take the time and kick his ass.

  ***

  “You sure you’re okay?”

  “Yeah, Matty. I’m good.”

  That was bullshit. I’d been in a foul mood ever since I hung up on Gabriel. On top of being pissed off, I was out of sorts. Having Gabriel basically demand I do as he said sent me into an all too familiar tail spin. Could I really have been so wrong about him?

  Matt’s voice interrupts my thoughts and breaks the silence in the car. “Really? Because you don’t seem good. You’ve looked upset since I picked you up.”

  I turn my head and give him a weak smile that I hope will placate him long enough for me to get into my apartment. I just want to crawl into bed and wallow in privacy for a while. Since our phone call, I’ve been questioning every decision I’ve made when it comes to Gabriel. Self-doubt is a seriously brutal emotion. “Just that time of the month,” I lie, knowing that will get him to drop it.

  “Enough said.” And just like that, it’s dropped.

  The second Matt pulls into my complex I see Gabriel’s car, sticking out like a sore thumb. There’s no hiding an expensive car like that in a lot full of run down, second hand vehicles. I try to hide my discomfort at knowing Gabriel is here as best as possible. I guess I didn’t do a good enough job because as soon as Matt parks he turns the car off and gets out, waiting at the curb for me to join him.

  “You don’t have to walk me up, Matty.”

  “It’s all right. It’s dark and I wouldn’t feel comfortable with you walking by yourself anyway.”

  I know it’s just an excuse, but I have to commend him for his effort. “Okay,” I whisper, smiling because he never fails to have my back when I need him.

  Matt takes my hand, giving it a friendly squeeze as we walk up the steps to the second level and turn toward my apartment. Both of us come to a stop when we see Gabriel sitting on the ground next to my door. Seeing him sitting on that dirty concrete is somewhat shocking. His suit probably costs more than three month’s rent—I can’t believe he would be so careless with it.

  He stands to his full height and walks over to us, his gaze bouncing back and forth between Matt and me. I notice something flash in his eyes when he looks at our entwined hands, but he quickly schools his features and turns his attention back to me.

  “Hi,” he says, shoving his hands in him pants pockets looking almost…remorseful? That couldn’t be right. This is the man who told me he never hears the word “no” and always gets what he wants, after all. I didn’t think he was capable of feeling remorse.

  When I don’t speak right away Matt jumps in to break the awkward silence that’s beginning to surround us. “Hey, I’m Matt. I’m a friend of Marley’s.” He extends his hand toward Gabriel, ever the gentleman.

  Gabriel returns the shake, but not before letting his eyes scan Matt—sizing him up, I’m sure. “Gabriel,” he grunts. “Nice to meet you.”

  How he says it tells me h
e feels anything but nice. Releasing his hand, Matt turns back to me. “You good here?”

  He’s trying to gage whether or not I’m safe to be left alone with Gabriel. I’m pissed and confused, but looking back at Gabriel now, my instincts tell me he’s not going to hurt me. “Yeah, all good.”

  “Okay, well I better get going. Caleb will kick my ass if I’m late for date night. You know how sensitive he can get.”

  I stand on my tip toes and plant a kiss on Matt’s cheek. “Thanks for the ride, Matty. And give Caleb my love.”

  “Will do, baby doll.” He turns back to Gabriel and mutters, “Good to meet you, man,” before taking off, leaving the two of us alone.

  I can see the confusion on Gabriel’s face when he turns back to me. “Date night?”

  I cross my arms over my chest feeling a hint of satisfaction at his bewilderment. Serves him right for being a dick and jumping to conclusions. I hope he feels like an idiot. “Yeah. Matt and his boyfriend have a date night once a month. They’ve been doing it for years.”

  “So he’s…”

  “Gay? Yep.”

  He turns and runs his hands through his already messy hair and sighs heavily. “I’m an asshole.”

  I can’t argue with that. “Yeah, you are.”