Destructive

by Jessica Prince

  “We’ll find him,” I reply desperately.

  “How? We’ve been looking for five years! The only thing that’ll get him out of hiding is your girl. By that time, it could be too late.”

  “I’ll. Find. HIM! I won’t lose her. I refuse to.”

  Aldo shakes his head and rises from his chair, the look on his face echoing his disappointment. “I hope you’re right, brother. For your sake, I pray you’re right.”

  God, I hope I am too.

  ***

  Sitting in the quiet confines of the library, I’m finally able to concentrate on studying. I couldn’t stay in Gabriel’s apartment one more second. With Jane breathing down my neck, bugging me to eat or take a break every five seconds I wasn’t getting anything done.

  After last night’s confession, I need to be able to lose myself in the monotony of school work for a few hours. I feel lighter—freer—after getting everything of my chest, but it’s like opening an old wound. While I feel like I’m finally able to begin healing, dredging everything up made it all raw. It’s going to take some time, but with Gabriel by my side, I feel like I’ll be able to get through it.

  The loud grumbling of my stomach pulls my attention from the text I’ve been absorbed it. Shit, a quick look at my watch shows that I’ve been sitting in this same spot for the past four hours. Stopping the music coming from my iPhone and pulling out my ear buds, I straighten from my hunched over position to stretch out my back, letting out a groan at how stiff it is.

  “Been sitting too long?”

  My eyes dart to the table catty-cornered from my own. The man sitting at the table lifts his hand in a small wave, giving me a warm smile. “Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you. I just couldn’t help but notice you’ve been here even longer than I have.”

  I scan his table and notice opened book scattered all over it. Some of the pages have bright yellow highlighting on them. Clearly, he’s here for the same reason I am. I let my gaze move back to his face trying to gage how old he might be, but I’m not quite able to tell. He could be around my age or older, I’m just not sure. He’s got dark brown eyes and hair, a strong jaw line and straight white teeth. He’s one of those unassumingly handsome men, his attractiveness is understated. If you didn’t stop to study his features, you might miss how good looking he is.

  He’s still smiling brightly, and I feel my lips tip up in return. I don’t see anything threatening in his expression. “I’m Kevin,” he introduces.

  “Marley,” I respond. “It’s nice to meet you.”

  “You too.” He looks down at his lap and clears his throat almost like he’s nervous. “So, um, are you about done with your work for the day?”

  “Yeah,” I answer, slamming my book closed. “I’m starving, and if I have to look at these words for one more second, I may go cross eyed.”

  He chuckles as I begin tossing my stuff in my messenger bag. “Well, if you don’t have any plans, would you may be like to go to dinner with me?”

  I stop packing up and tilt my head to look at him. His cheeks have pinked just slightly like he’s feeling a little shy. I’m so caught off guard by his question that I just stand there staring for several seconds, not realizing it until he clears his throat uncomfortably.

  “Sorry,” I say with a shake of my head. “That’s really nice of you to ask, but…um, I’m seeing someone.” It feels strange saying that for the first time. Not in a bad way, just weird because I never thought that would be a statement that would come out of my mouth.

  “Oh…um, well…” he clears his throat again and gives a nervous laugh. “Can’t fault a guy for trying.” I can’t help but smile back at him, he’s actually pretty cute when he’s nervous. “I’m new in town and don’t know many people.”

  “Oh, well welcome to Chicago! Where did you move from?”

  “Florida. The cold’s definitely something that’ll take some getting used to.”

  “Ha! That’s for sure. Did you move for work?”

  “Yeah,” he replies, reaching back to rub his neck. “My company transferred me here. Figured I’d try and further my education while I’m at it.” He waves his arm to indicate the books piled around him. “Other than the tiny apartment they set me up in, it hasn’t been too bad.”

  “They couldn’t at least put you up in a house?” I joke back. He’s surprisingly easy to talk to. I’ve never made a habit of opening myself up to people I’ve just met, but being with Gabriel has started to change something in me. I’m finding it easier to be more trusting towards people.

  He tosses his head back with a laugh. “Nope, no house. Just a cramped one bedroom in Briarwood.”

  “Shut up! I live in Briarwood, too.”

  His face lights up. “Really? Well then I guess we’ll be neighbors.”

  “Guess so.” My phone pings and I look down to read the text that just came through.

  GB: You have 20 minutes to get your sexy ass home. If I don’t fuck you soon, I might explode.

  My cheeks heat as wetness floods my core. A simple text message from Gabriel has every nerve ending in my body humming. I toss it in my bag without responding and hurry to get the rest of my stuff together. “I have to get going, but it was nice meeting you Kevin. Maybe we’ll see each other around the complex.”

  “Yeah, maybe. Nice meeting you too, Marley.”

  I give him a wave and male my way out of the library with grin spread from ear to ear. It looks like I managed to make a new friend. I’m stepping out of my shell for the first time and it would appear the payoff is worth it.

  After digging in my bag for my keys, I hit the button to unlock the doors and look up to notice a yellow envelope tucked under the windshield wiper. I quick look around the parking lot shows that there’s no one else out here. Whoever left the envelope is already gone. As I get closer, I’m able to make out my name written on it in bold black lettering.

  Opening the car door, I toss my bag into the passenger seat and pull the envelope from the windshield. The happy feeling I had going just minutes before is crushed by the anxiety building in my chest. I have no clue what I’m about to find, but my gut tells me whatever it is, it won’t be good.

  Ripping it open, I pull out the piece of paper from inside and unfold it. A sharp gasp escapes me as I stare down at my past.

  No. No no no no! This isn’t happening. With trembling hands, I scan the yellowing newspaper page. I recognize the house in the picture clear as day, even with the flames pouring out of the windows and roof.

  “Fire Set to Suspected Drug House outside Chicago,” the headline reads. The article goes on to state that the body of a female adult was found, shot to death in the rubble. I don’t even need to read it to know what all it details. I remember it was if it was just yesterday. It’s the bright red letters written diagonally across the page that have my mind reeling.

  “How well do you really know the man you sleep beside every night?” the words read.

  My heart rate picks up as I climb into my car and slam the door. I try to regulate my breathing as I start it up and peel out of the parking lot, but I just can’t. It’s like I’ve lost control of my body. I ignore the ringing of my cell phone as I speed toward Gabriel’s apartment. I need answers and I need them now.

  I’m so spaced out that I don’t remember the drive from the library. It’s as if I’m on auto pilot when I look up and notice I’m parked next to his black Maserati. It’s a wonder I didn’t wreck on the way over here. Leaping from the car, I rush to the elevator and jab the button. I need him to tell me what I’m thinking is wrong. I need him to reassure me that this is just someone’s horrible idea for a prank. I need him to say that everything is just as perfect as it was when I left the warm safety of his bed this morning. But as the elevator climbs, I know, deep down, that what I want isn’t going to be what I receive.

  ***

  Where the fuck is she? I’ve called her phone three times now and every time, I get her voicemail. I need to hear her voic
e to know she’s okay. I should have let her leave the house. I should have fought her on it when she said she needed to go to the library to study. I need to keep her in my apartment, safe from anyone and everyone.

  I know I’m being irrational, but since finding out who she really is, I can’t help the gut churning feeling that something awful is about to happen. My stomach’s been tied in knots for the last couple of days, just waiting for trouble to round the corner.

  I hit the screen to dial her number again just as the elevator dings, letting me know she’s just arrive.

  Thank fucking Christ. I breathe a heavy sigh of relief as I yank open the front door, ready to scoop her up in my arms. The look on her face when her eyes meet mine stops me in my tracks. Dread fills my body like cement, holding me in place and refusing to let go.

  “Baby, what’s wrong?” I ask, fear gripping me by the throat, making it difficult to speak. It’s then that I notice the piece of paper dangling from her trembling fingers. Without speaking, she lifts her arm across the empty space between us and hands me the paper. The blood drains from my face as I read the red words scrawled across the article.

  Oh shit. This can’t be fucking happening.

  “My bella,” I whisper brokenly as I look back at her with wide eyes.

  “What do you know about the night my mother died, Gabriel?” He voice is flat and emotionless.

  “Marley, just let—”

  “What do you know?” She screams, a single tear breaking free and running down her face. “And don’t you dare lie to me.”

  It feels like someone reached into my chest and has a vice grip around my heart. “Just come inside, baby. I promise, I’ll tell you everything. Just come inside,” I practically beg. I need her in my house where I can keep her from running.

  Rushing past me, Marley walks straight into the living room, her hands clenched on her hips as she paces back and forth. “Please sit, my bella.”

  “No, Gabriel. I won’t sit. Just start talking. What does that note mean?”

  Collapsing back onto the couch, I rest my elbows on my knees and grab my hair. I don’t think I can find the words to begin telling her the truth

  ***

  Gabriel stays silent, rocking back and forth as he grips his hair so tightly it looks painful.

  “Gabriel.” The firm tone of my voice causes his head to pop up, the devastation reflecting back at me in his eyes confirming my worst fears. But I still need to hear the words. “Were you there that night? Is that what this note means?” I ask, jabbing my finger in the direction of the newspaper article sitting on the table.

  “Where did you get that?” is all he says in response.

  “It was on my car when I left the library. Does it really fucking matter? Tell me the truth! Were you there?” I yell, anger, panic and heartbreak rushing through my body in waves.

  “Yes.” The answer is so quiet, barely a whisper, but I still manage to hear it as if he just shouted through a megaphone. My legs threaten to give out on me as I stumble to the chair and fall in to it. I’m gasping for breath, feeling like my heart just cracked into a million pieces.

  “Please. Please, Marley, you have to let me explain!” he begs, shooting up from the couch and rushing over to me. He kneels in front of my and places his hands on my knees, squeezing so tightly it’s as if he’s trying to hold me in place.

  “Why?” I manage to ask just as a sob escapes my throat. “Why would you do something like this?”

  “Eduardo killed my wife and son, Marley. I wasn’t thinking. I was so devastated over losing them that revenge was all I could think about. I wanted to make Eduardo suffer like he made me suffer. The only way I knew how to do that was by yanking his operation out from under him.”

  I didn’t know what I expected when I confronted him, but this certainly wasn’t it. This is just getting worse with every passing minute. “Oh, god. You’re a drug dealer?” Tears pour down my face and clog my throat. The man I let myself fall in love with is just like him.

  “It’s not like that!” he insists, desperation lacing through his words. “I just needed to make him pay. He took my family. There was nothing else I could take from him to make him suffer the way I was. His business was the only thing that was important to him.”

  “So you just killed off anyone involved, stole the drugs, and took over. Am I getting this straight?” My voice goes from pained to hard in a heartbeat. His lack of answer tells me what I need to know. “You killed innocent people, Gabriel.”

  “They weren’t innocent!” he shouts and he shoots up and begins pacing while frantically tugging at his hair. They weren’t innocent, Marley. They were just as sick and depraved as Almaraz. You said yourself your own mother traded you for drugs. What kind of fucked up person does that!”

  It’s all been a lie. Everything he’s told me—everything he’s promised were all lies. My world is crumbling beneath me and all I can do is stand and watch it all fall apart. The man I fell in love with is a murderer. He’s no better than the people that ruined my life.

  “What if you’d found me that night?” I ask, dreading the answer. “Would you have killed me too? Just for being there?”

  I watch as his throat bobs on a heavy swallow as he stares down at me, unshed tears filling his eyes. He’s unable to answer me.

  “You would have, wouldn’t you?”

  “I don’t know,” he croaks. “But none of that matters now,” he rushes, coming back to kneel in front of me. “I love you. I’m in love with you, my bella. I could never hurt you. Ever. I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting you.”

  I leap to my feet, almost knocking Gabriel to the ground and step away from him. “Protect me? How the fuck do you think you can protect me, Gabriel? You’re just like HIM!”

  “I’M NOTHING LIKE HIM!” he roars.

  “You’re a killer and a drug dealer! You would have shot me the night you killed my mother if you and your men had found me!”

  “No! No, I couldn’t have!”

  “You would! All you cared about was vengeance. You didn’t give a damn who you had to walk over to get it. Did you succeed, Gabriel? Huh? Did you finally get your revenge?”

  “No,” is all he says.

  “Did you know about me all this time? Is that why you were so determined to get me to let you in? So you could use me to track Eduardo down? I was just a pawn, wasn’t I?”

  “No. Marley, I love you. I had no clue you were the girl we’d heard about until you told me the other night.”

  His words cause me to freeze. My breathing stops, my body won’t move. Even my heart stops beating. “What do you mean, the girl you heard of?”

  I can see the moment he realizes the mistake he just made. “You knew about me, didn’t you?”

  “Fuck!” he yells at the ceiling, his breathing just as heavy as my own. “I didn’t know it was you, I swear that to you, baby. I didn’t know it was you. One of my men heard that Almaraz had a Russian girlfriend he was insane about. We didn’t have all the information, and what little we did have was obviously incorrect.”

  Realization hits me right then like a wrecking ball. “You were going to try and track me down and use me, weren’t you?”

  He remains silent.

  “WEREN’T YOU?”

  “Yes.”

  “Oh, God!” I gasp and stumble backwards, away from him before covering my mouth with both hands.

  He takes a step towards me, but I move back. “But I know you now, baby. I got to know you and I fell in love with you. I’d never do something like that now. I was consumed with grief back then. I’m not that same man anymore.”

  “How can you say that?” I sob. “How can you honestly even think that? You’re still looking for him. Still searching everywhere you can so you can find him and finish him off. Am I right?”

  He doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have to. I can see it in his eyes. He’s still searching for the man that took his family. And while I can’t blame him for w
anting revenge on a man as evil as Eduardo, I can see that his craving for vengeance has turned him into the monster he’s so desperately hunting. He’s murdered people. He sells drugs for no other reason than pay back against that man. And the only reason he hasn’t used me as bate against Eduardo is because he fell in love with me. I have no doubt in my mind that I wouldn’t have been so lucky had he felt differently about me. A good man would never do those things. A good man doesn’t hurt people just to get at one person. If he killed my mother so easily simply because she worked for Eduardo, what other unspeakable things has he done? What else is he capable of? All this time I’ve been opening myself to him, and I now realize I don’t know him at all.

  Turning my back on him, I run from the living room, down the hall, and straight for the bedroom. I don’t stop until I get to the closet. Grabbing my duffle bag, I begin ripping my clothes off hangers and throwing them in haphazardly. Wrinkles are the last of my worries. I need to escape. I need to run.

  I can hear him breathing heavily behind me as I toss my belonging into my bag. “Where are you going? You aren’t leaving, Marley. We can talk about this.”

  I turn so quickly my hair hits me in the face. “There’s nothing to talk about! We’re done. This…” I wave my hand in the space between us, “…is done.”

  “No it’s not! We can work through this, baby. You aren’t leaving me.”

  Despair echoes in his voice, breaking my heart all the more. But I force my heartache down and push forward even if I’m dying inside. I move past him and into the bathroom, gathering up all my toiletries. He’s right on my heels.

  “You aren’t leaving me!” he shouts. He’s frantic as he tries to argue. “I love you, Marley. I’m not letting you go!”

  “You don’t have a choice,” I tell him. I can’t look at him. If I look into those beautiful gray eyes, I’ll cave. I’m holding on to a rapidly fraying rope as it is. If I look at him I know I’ll crack. “It’s over, Gabriel.”