Waiting for Godalming (Completely Barking Mad Trilogy Book 3)

by Robert Rankin

  And with a wink and a wave and a nod and a grin, He vanished.

  Just like that.

  ‘I think I’d better be leaving too,’ said Jesus. ‘I’ve never been too good at lying to my step-mum. She doesn’t care too much for me, you know.’

  And he gave a nod and a wink and a wave.

  And then he vanished too.

  I looked at Icarus.

  And Icarus looked at me.

  ‘That just leaves the two of us, kid,’ said I.

  And then there came a knock knock knocking at my office door and I could see a great big shadow on the frosted glass.

  ‘I think you’d better leave all the talking to me, kid,’ I said. ‘This will be my last bow. I’ve solved my final problem. After I’ve talked to the dame, Lazlo Woodbine Investigations is shutting up shop for good and all. I’ve had enough of this business.’

  Icarus smiled and stuck out his hand for a shake.

  ‘You’re a hero, brother,’ he said. ‘Put it there.’

  I smiled back at the kid in the way that only Woodbine can do.

  And then I shook my brother by the hand.

  THE VERY END

  Also by

  ROBERT RANKIN

  The Antipope

  The Brentford Triangle

  East of Ealing

  The Sprouts of Wrath

  Armageddon: The Musical

  They Came and Ate Us

  The Suburban Book of the Dead

  The Book of Ultimate Truths

  Raiders of the Lost Car Park

  The Greatest Show Off Earth

  The Most Amazing Man Who Ever Lived

  The Garden of Unearthly Delights

  A Dog Called Demolition

  Nostradamus Ate My Hamster

  Sprout Mask Replica

  The Brentford Chainstore Massacre

  The Dance of the Voodoo Handbag

  Apocalypso

  Snuff Fiction

  Sex and Drugs and Sausage Rolls

  Waiting for Godalming

  Web Site Story

  The Fandom of the Operator

  The Hollow Chocolate Bunnies of the Apocalypse

  The Witches of Chiswick

  Knees Up Mother Earth

  The Brightonomicon

  The Toyminator

  The Da-da-de-da-da Code

  Necrophenia

  Retromancer

  The Japanese Devil Fish Girl and Other Unnatural Attractions

  The Mechanical Messiah and Other Marvels of the Modern Age

  The Educated Ape and Other Wonders of the Worlds

  Illustrated works:

  The Bumper Book of Ficts written by Neil Gardner

  EMPIRES

  E-book edition cover illustration by Robert Rankin

  Additional editing and art direction, trans-perambulations of pseudo-cosmic shanty batter, snurfings of the Narfax, elliptical navigations through the aethyrs of Avalon and a well-made Snowball with three ice cubes in it to finish the day’s work with: Rachel Hayward

  Table of Contents

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