Captive- Veiled Desires

by Cartharn, Clarissa

  “Unfortunately, you have no idea of what I am thinking. Give me a good reason to bust Hazrat Zawahiri’s jaw and I will do it. If you can’t, then I’m afraid our business ends here.” He stared down at the man coldly. His hands shivered from his nerves and he stuffed them quickly into his pockets. What if Jahandar didn’t comply and let him walk out his door without giving him a reason? His pride aside, his entire efforts to get to the Americans would have been in vain.

  When the man didn’t answer, his steps faltered towards the door. Was he not going to stop him? I’ve screwed this, he thought. I’ve totally fucked this up.

  He had no choice but to walk on towards the door. It was over. He didn’t know if he had the strength to start over. He couldn’t. Especially now that Nora was involved.

  “Wait,” Jahandar said quickly before he could reach the door. “I’ll tell you.”

  Adam let out a silent relieving puff of air before turning around. “Well?”

  “You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Afridi.” Jahandar paused briefly. “The Zawahiris are not just stealing your opium. They’re stealing my clients too. Telling them they could give them better deals than I ever can. When I confronted Hazrat, he smirked at me.” His face grew darker as he clenched his teeth angrily. “He dared me to go ahead and try and stop him. What does he think of me? I am a middle-man, not a middle-class man. This baby, Hazrat Zawahiri has no respect for the years I’ve been in this business. I am what’s made every drug lord in this country. I am not to be ignored! I will show him I have made friends in high places. Friends who will stand by me when I am insulted. Friends… like you.”

  Adam stiffened. Jahandar was not a friend. But he understood how important respect and fear was to his business. If he lost that, then everything else toppled down like dominoes.

  “You could have told me this yesterday,” he said.

  “I needed to find out where Hazrat was. Like you said, the Zawahiris are vengeful. I needed to be careful.”

  “You have a plan?”

  “Yes.” The stout man smiled.

  HAPTER 13

  “Nora khor?” Husna knocked on the door before stepping in.

  “Yes, Husna,” Nora answered eagerly, glad to see the woman again. “Did you see, Adam? When is he coming? I know he may be busy, but that shouldn’t deny him a good bath and a rest. I shouldn’t deny him that. I’m sure we could both share this space like civilized individuals without stepping on each other’s toes. Really, he could have just-”

  “Nora khor,” Husna interrupted quickly. “Adam lala, he not here. He gone to Kabul yesterday. I don’t know when he come back.”

  “He’s gone to Kabul?” Nora repeated slowly. Her legs quivered, her color draining from her face. “He went yesterday and he never told me.” She glanced up at the woman with a teary glaze in her eyes. “Why did he go?”

  “I not know, khor.” Husna shrugged her shoulders.

  Nora stepped back and turned away. She wanted to hide her tears from Husna. What did I expect? I mean nothing to him. It’s not like I’m his real wife. Why would he tell me anything?

  She clenched her fist against her heart. It hurt so much. She couldn’t be falling for someone like him. She was sensible. She threaded her fingers through her hair. What was happening to her? She was angry that he hadn’t told her he was going to Kabul. Angry and hurt. Why did it matter?

  She closed her eyes and chanted under her breath, “It’s none of my business. It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t matter to me.”

  “Khor, are you okay?” Husna asked, her concern for her evident in her eyes.

  Nora nodded. “Yes. I will be.”

  “Don’t worry, khor. All men like that. They do what they want and never tell wife. Mine too like that.”

  Nora wiped her tears quickly. She had to occupy herself with something or she’d break down again.

  “I’m sorry, I never asked about your life,” she said. “Are you married?”

  “Yes, khor. I marry at nineteen years old.”

  “So young.”

  “No, very old. Many girls marry seventeen, eighteen. But I no want. My father is good. He listen to me. Then I meet Waez. He is very handsome and very nice. I like immediately. He like me too and so we get married.”

  “Do you have any children?”

  Husna picked up an apple from the fruit bowl and began to peel it. “Not yet. But we want many. But Waez say not now. We stay here for little while and save money and then we get own place.”

  “Are there others like you?”

  “Yes, many women and children. Adam lala look after us all.” She cut a piece out of the apple and handed it over to Nora.

  Nora took it, holding it in her hand as if she were studying it. “How many of you are there?”

  Husna shrugged her shoulders. “Here, maybe thirty. Some also in Kandahar and Paktika. Many places. Without Darul-Ilhaam, our families have no place to go.”

  “But you don’t know how the men make their living?”

  “Sorry… meaning?” Husna asked confusedly.

  “Where do they get the money to feed so many people?”

  “Nobody care. Here, we live day to day. We not think what we eat many months from now. Here we only think if we alive tomorrow.”

  The woman had tensed. Nora knew she had touched a raw spot in her. She hoped she hadn’t offended her. She was only trying to understand. She bit her lips, wondering if she should continue with her conversation. She bit into her apple, pretending to enjoy it.

  “Khor, do you want to come and see?” Husna asked. “You come out and meet us.”

  Nora gave her a small smile. Meeting these people would definitely quench some of her curiosity. But it was the pain inside her that she really wanted to escape from. The hurt she felt each time she thought of how he had left her; the insensible aching realization that he didn’t care for her at all.

  She wandered through the rooms, a small entourage of giggly little girls following her. She smiled at them. Dirt masked their innocent faces. Their clothes were thinned and worn-out. And yet they were able to smile and laugh with hopes of a future.

  She stepped into a larger hall filled with gossiping women. Their loud voices and chatter filled the room with an air of cheeriness. But as she moved closer, they quieted, glancing at her as they whispered amongst themselves. A few clicked their tongues with sympathy; others shook their heads. Did they perhaps disapprove of Adam’s marriage to her? She hesitated at her spot, wondering if she should leave. They probably didn’t like her presence. She was a foreigner after all.

  “Hello,” one woman said. “Come, come.” She indicated with her hands. “Come and sit here with me.”

  Nora sat cautiously next to the woman. She was clearly much older than most of the others in the room. Her head was covered with a scarf, but it did not hide the short strands of her hair peeking out from the sides.

  The woman smiled at her. “I’m Paiman. But everyone calls me anaa, which means grandmother. Everyone except those old ladies there. It would be insulting if they called me that.”

  Nora smiled. “I’m Nora.”

  “I know. And so does everyone else here. We were all wondering when you would venture out of your room. I’m glad you’ve finally come to visit us.”

  Nora twitched her fingers. She had been afraid. She glanced at the women, each busily involved in their task. Some were sieving stones out from the rice grains, while others kneaded long rolls of dough. Paiman was scooping the seeds out from a bag of bean pods.

  “Here,” the older woman said. “Why don’t you help me?” She handed her a handful of bean pods.

  Nora took it obediently and began emulating the way she skillfully split the seam holding the carpel of the pod together. This is how the women fed the house. They spent all day preparing for the meal she had luxuriously eaten in her room. How could she have been so selfish? Things here didn’t come pre-packaged or pre-cooked. She glanced at the wood fireplace that sat two
large blackened pots. Its contents bubbled, filling the air with its aroma. A couple of women sat on the floor, stirring it. The chefs, I presume, she thought as she carefully emptied the pod of its seed into a bowl.

  “Where is Husna?” Paiman asked.

  “She said she had to finish a few errands.”

  “Has she been looking after you well?”

  “Yes.” Nora smiled again. “She has been very kind.”

  Paiman nodded. “She is a hard-working girl. Has she been communicating well enough in English?”

  “Yes,” Nora said, suddenly aware of the remarkable fluency of the woman’s herself.

  “That’s good. She is a good student.”

  “Where did you learn to speak English so well?”

  “Here.” Paiman grinned. “In this country.”

  “Oh,” Nora blurted, not understanding at all of what she meant.

  “I come from the 1960s, child. And in those days, our country was no different to yours. Women wore short skirts, freely mingled with men and studied medicine at universities without the fear of being rebuked or criticized. It was a time I shall always cherish in my heart. And now I see my beloved country reduced to mere rubble and stone. It breaks me a thousand times when I think of it.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Me too, child.” Paiman sighed and stood up. “I need to wash this so the women can start preparing to cook it.”

  Nora watched her hobble away towards the borehole tap. What could Paiman have achieved if she had been offered the opportunities everyone took for granted back home?

  Seeing that she was now sitting alone on the bench, a few of the women rushed over to her. “Hello,” they babbled as they introduced themselves.

  “Hello,” Nora said with a smile. She didn’t like being hovered over by them as they poked and prodded her with interest. “Please don’t,” she said sternly but with as much politeness as she could muster.

  “You beautiful,” said one woman and then she clicked her tongue sadly.

  Nora raised her brow. They were sympathizing with her. Did they perhaps know she was being held captive? Would they help her escape if she asked?

  “Adam lala in Kabul,” another said.

  “I know,” Nora said.

  “Yes, very sad. You beautiful.”

  Sad? Because Adam was in Kabul? Her temples throbbed rapidly. What were they talking about?

  “Layla also beautiful. Adam lala like beautiful women. But he marry you, so don’t worry,” the woman continued. “Husbands here have four wives. Much common. No problem.”

  “Four wives?” Nora repeated, growing pale. “And what number am I?”

  “Number 1,” the women chorused together.

  “Layla, number 2. But you number 1,” the first woman said with a laugh. “Good to be number 1.”

  Nora froze, clutching the arm of the bench tightly. She heard Paiman scold the women and they immediately scrambled for their lives.

  “Nora, are you okay?” she asked. “What have they been telling you?”

  Nora shook her head with tears in her eyes. “Nothing that should matter.”

  It shouldn’t have mattered. Then why did it hurt inside her? She gasped for air as she clutched her tummy. She bit her lips, trying to stifle her sobs. She was alone now in her room. She could cry all she wanted. Who was she trying to deceive?

  Finally, she curled up on her bed, staring into the darkness. She hadn’t wanted to marry Adam. But now that she was, she expected fidelity? What was wrong with her? She should know better than anyone that this marriage was only a farce. Adam could sleep with whoever he wanted.

  The pain in her chest returned and she pounded it with her fist. Her tears dampened her face. She should be glad that his affair had given her reason to see sense. She was his captive; not his wife. And she should be focusing on any means of escaping.

  She squeezed her eyes shut. She would not care about what Adam did. She would make sure she didn’t.

  Adam bounded out of his vehicle and hastily made his way towards his bedroom. He had been eager to see her again. How must she be? Had she missed him?

  He couldn’t help smiling as he leaped up the steps.

  “Adam!” Basel called out, stopping him in his tracks.

  He groaned inwardly. Basel maybe his dearest friend, but it was Nora he wanted to see.

  “Adam, did you speak to Jahandar?” Basel asked.

  “I did.”

  “And so?”

  “Jahandar has some issues with Hazrat Zawahiri. He is willing to let go of the matter with Mateen provided we settle some scores on his behalf with Hazrat Zawahiri.”

  “That is crazy. We can do something with Mateen. But trying to warn Hazrat Zawahiri is another matter. It’s like disturbing a nest of hornets.”

  “We don’t have much of a choice.”

  “Choice? Have you lost your mind?!” Basel exclaimed. “We’re putting our women and children at risk. Why do you want this contract so much? We are doing fine as it is.”

  “It isn’t enough, Basel. Darul-Ilhaam is growing. And to cater for all those seeking its shelter and protection, we need to make sure we can afford it. Do you want to be the one to start turning people away? Because I sure am not going to take that responsibility.” He observed the man carefully over his brow, hoping he would take the bait.

  “Perhaps, we should start turning people away. We need to protect the ones we have at the moment. It isn’t worth the risk, Adam. Why don’t we try another middle-man for the opium?”

  Adam swiped a hand tiredly over his face. How could he tell him he didn’t have the time?

  “If we work on it thoroughly, we can make it seem that Hazrat stirred trouble first,” Adam said. “Basel, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I only need to make contact with the Americans. And once that is done, we can get rid of Jahandar. Trust me.”

  Basel grew quiet. “I do, Adam,” he said at last. “But there is something about this that does not ring right.”

  Adam frowned. Was he suspecting something? “It’s risky. That’s what is not right. But isn’t this what Darul-Ilhaam is all about? It’s what makes us the best.” He paused, allowing Basel to think about it. If he had to carry through this crazy mission, he would need someone on his side to convince the rest. “Basel, we need this. This can change our lives. This can change yours. You have a family. You can finally go back and lead a normal life. You can finally leave Darul-Ilhaam and live the life you always wanted.” And when Basel didn’t answer, he added. “Listen, I have a wife in there too. Won’t I be risking her life? I’m gonna make goddamned sure nothing happens to any of them.”

  Basel nodded. “Yeah, okay. When do you want me to gather the men?”

  “Not now. We have to come up with a plan first. We’ll have to be very careful as to how we’ll pull it off.”

  He stalled at the door of his bedroom. What should he say? He knocked on it lightly. He didn’t want to alarm her.

  “Nora?” he whispered. He loved the way her name sounded on his lips and he smiled. “Nora.”

  He turned the door knob and stepped into his room, eager to see her. But it was empty. His heart stopped, his feet frozen to his spot. Where was she? Don’t panic, Adam. She might be in the bathroom.

  But who was he kidding? There wasn’t a sound from there either. Refusing to believe his senses, he tapped on the door and then opened it.

  His pulses picked up pace, pulsating rapidly. Had she escaped? He raced through the room, opening closets and checking under the bed, hoping she was just hiding. And when he couldn’t find her, he grew breathless. Where could she have gone? He braced his neck, trying to think. Surely if she was gone, someone would have found out.

  He walked hastily out of the room. The women would know. He should find Husna. A thought chilled his bones. What if the women helped her escape? What if he… never saw her again?

  “Husna!” he shouted angrily. “Husna!”

  His voice
reverberated through the walls of the women’s quarters. Women cowered on seeing him.

  He stepped with rage into the hall. The women stopped short of their tasks and recoiled in fear.

  “Husna!” he called out furiously.

  And then she turned. Nora.

  “Nora?”

  She didn’t answer, turning back to help Paiman with her vegetables.

  Her cold demeanor unsettled him, infuriating him more.

  “What are you doing here?!” he ordered.

  “What should I have done? Waited for you in our room like a good bride?”

  He fumed, stepping closer.

  “Excuse me anaa,” he said sternly to the older woman. “But I need to talk to my wife!”

  He grabbed Nora’s wrist and pulled her up.

  “What are you doing?” she screamed. “Let me go, you brute!”

  He didn’t reply, pressing his lips tightly as he dragged her up to his room.

  He threw open his door and swung her against the wall of his room. He glared down at her angrily as he tried to catch his breath. But as his eyes roved over her face hungrily, his anger subsided. He moved into her, mesmerized and he leaned his head onto her shoulder. He breathed in her scent, feeling the warmth of her body against his. Her smell, her touch… this was all he ever needed in his life.

  HAPTER 14

  “I missed you,” he whispered against her skin.

  His breath tingled her. She loved the way his body melded into hers. She wished they could stay like this forever. She took in a deep breath.

  “I didn’t think you would,” she replied curtly. And she hated breaking the moment too. But if she grew any closer to this man, she knew she was more than likely to lose her sanity. He pushed her to the point of delirium, making her weak to her core.

  He lifted his head and peered into her face. “What’s wrong?”