Break My Fall (Broken)

by Chloe Walsh

  LEE

  I woke with another pounding headache. This was becoming the norm, I thought drowsily, as sunlight beamed through my curtains. I stretched in bed flexing my arms out and yelped in surprise as a sharp pain shot up my wrist. I pulled my hand out from under the covers for closer inspection. I groaned as last night’s debacle flooded my mind. I thought maybe I had dreamt the whole thing up but no Kyle’s fingerprints were bruised into my skin, skin that was now purple and swollen. I tried to move it but a much sharper pain jolted through me so I stopped. Uh crap, how was I going to work with one hand, waitressing required the use of both hands.

  I moaned loudly and dragged my tired body up. I didn’t want to be in this room anymore, Rachel had tainted it with her poison. I went downstairs to the kitchen to use the phone. I didn’t have a cell phone and I needed to contact Linda and let her know I wouldn’t be in today.

  She answered on the first ring and had already heard about my injured hand; Mr Carter had signed me off work for the rest of the week. When I hung up and headed straight over to turn on the percolator. Coffee, I definitely needed to make some. I was surprised to see it was already ready for me. I was usually the first up in the morning. “Lee.” Cam’s voice sounded from behind me and I jumped with surprise. I hadn’t seen her there at all.

  “God you scared me Cam.” I walked over to the table and sat beside her. She pushed a cup toward me. “How are you feeling? You want to talk about things?” I could hear the sympathy rolling from the question and I was cringed. I neither needed nor wanted sympathy from anyone ever again. I left that behind me. “I’m fine Cam, last night just brought back some ugly memories for me.” I lifted my cup with my sore wrist and whimpered, quickly changing hands. “Hmm I figured that out Lee. But last night was about more than your father. Wasn’t it?” I noticed the sadness laced in her tone of voice, it wasn’t hard to miss. She looked at me when I didn’t answer and nodded. “Fair enough, you’ll talk when you’re ready.” I felt awful. She had taken me in with no explanation and the girl was a good friend to me, my only friend. Cam deserved to know why I had ended up on her doorstep.

  I took a deep breath, “Two months before I came here, I was attacked.” There I had said it. I heard Cam gasp. “You were robbed?” she asked. I wished it had been so uncomplicated. I would have happily handed over my purse if it meant my life had stayed on course.

  “Uh no, it was a different kind of attack.” I ducked my head in shame. “Oh fuck no,” she shouted. I cringed from the tone of her voice. I glanced at her face; she looked murderous. “You don’t believe me.”

  Of course she didn’t. No one had believed me when I went to the police, not even my father. “Believe you? Of course I believe you Lee.” She grabbed me and pulled me towards her. I tensed but relaxed into her embrace. “When you say you were attacked,” she paused, clearly struggling with how to sentence the next question. “He didn’t,” I said. “I mean he nearly did, but I got away” barely I wanted to add but I didn’t think Cam needed to hear the gory details. “Oh thank god,” she gasped, “Who was he? Did you see his face? He was charged wasn’t he? Tell me you nailed the bastard to the cross Lee.”

  I sucked in a shuddering breath, holding back the tears. “Yes I knew him, his name is Perry Franklin, he was in my English class at school. It happened after prom. I wasn’t supposed to go, but when Perry asked me, Cam I really wanted to go. Daddy was gone out of town on work and I had just wanted to be normal for one night, to experience one normal teenage moment. Prom was a complete disaster anyway, but he didn’t touch me until he dropped me home.” I cringed thinking back. “Keep going,” was all Cam said.

  “When I got out of the car, he walked me to my door, but he wouldn’t leave…” I couldn’t say the words aloud. “Tell me Lee,” Cam coaxed. “He touched me,” I whispered. “He tore my dress, held me down, and he tried to,” I swallowed the lump in my throat. I could remember the feel of his rough fingers ripping my panties away as he tried to shove his hand inside me.

  “Bruno attacked him before he could…” I inhaled a shaky breath. “I reported the attack but I wasn’t taken seriously and no charges were filed. My case was thrown out. I was so afraid it would happen again, that he would get me the next time, he had threatened he would. He had called me a cock-tease.” I burst into tears.

  “He had said it was my fault Cam, that I led him on, everyone believed him.” I sniffed the tears back, “Well you know the way my father is, he was very upset with me.” Cam frowned, “Hold up, he was upset with you?” she sounded appalled. “Well, daddy didn’t believe me, he said that I must have encouraged him, led him on, he said I was…and he…” I stopped. I couldn’t say it. I couldn’t tell her about daddy’s belt, and the whooping he gave me for being ‘a dirty whore’ and ‘easy’.

  “He had called me some names and punished me. I think that was why I had lost with Kyle last night. He called me those names. Daddy refused to take me to the hospital afterwards; he said it was my punishment.” I now carried the scars every day to teach me a lesson. “What did he hit you with Lee?” Cam asked. “I’m guessing from the scars on your back that it wasn’t his fist?” I shook my head and Cam hissed, “I can’t believe this. You told me it stopped Lee. I would have never left you there with him if I knew.” She was crying again. “This is not your fault Cam. You couldn’t have stopped it any more than I could.” I placed my hand on hers.

  “Anyway he pulled me out of school two months before graduation. He made me quit my job. I stayed for a while after it happened but I couldn’t live like that anymore, with everyone ignoring me, then whispering about me behind my back. I had to get away, and you’re the only person I knew who would help me. So one night when he had passed out, I ran.” Cam circled her arms around me, holding me tight.

  I wished she didn’t know, I wished she had never needed to know. After what seemed an eternity, Cam seemed to find her voice. “Shit” was all Cam said. “Yeah” I sighed, “But Cam you can’t tell anyone please. No one. Not Derek or, or not Kyle okay?” Cam leaned over and kissed my forehead “Does Kyle know any of this?” I gaped at her, “No and he doesn’t need to. I don’t want him knowing anything about this.” Cam sighed sadly. “That will be kind of hard to do considering he lives here. And there’s also the fact both he and Derek saw you last night. I know you’re in love with him Lee.”

  My cheeks flamed in embarrassment. “No I’m not,” Cam was looking at me like she could see straight through my lies. “It’s that obvious huh?” Cam placed her hand on mine and squeezed gently. “I tried to warn you Lee.” I knew she did and I was wishing that I had listened to her. My heart was hurting so bad right now.

  “And I’m hoping you guys can move past last night Lee because if shit hits the fan with you two, well your last in…” First out, I added silently. I nodded, hearing everything she wasn’t saying. I was in some serious deep shit. “Yeah” she sighed, patting my shoulder. “What am I going to do?” I whispered. I needed this room. I had nowhere else to go. I burned my bridges back home. “Oh don’t worry Lee, keep your head down and wait for this fight to blow over,” she paused, “If he wants you out, I have no say, this is his place. But I’m going with you. And I’m telling you this now, if I ever see another bruise on your body, I will cut the bastard.”

  KYLE

  My head was in bits. I couldn’t concentrate on work. “Are you listening to me kiddo?” Linda looked at me with a worried expression from across the table in the restaurant. We were having breakfast together, well she was, I couldn’t eat. A combination of guilt and alcohol rendered it impossible to eat.

  I wasn’t needed in the hotel today but I couldn’t stay at the house. I had to get away from there. After last night, I wasn’t sure how I could face Lee again. Linda placed her hand on mine and I realised I hadn’t answered her, “Sorry, my head’s not in this place today.” She smiled at me gently, “Where’s your head at Kyle?” I wanted to tell her, I wanted to offload all my shit on
her right here and now. But I couldn’t do that. Linda didn’t know all the things I’d done, she didn’t know about what I’d done to Rachel, and if she knew what had happened last night with Lee, I would lose her.

  “It’s all so fucking messed up,” I muttered, hoping I hadn’t given away too much with that statement. Linda’s kind eyes were staring at me, I didn’t deserve her to look at me like that.

  “Women have a way of doing that sweetie,” she mused, “I’m guessing that’s the reason you have the lost puppy look on your face.” I nodded, she could always read me too well.

  LEE

  By ten o clock, I was starving. I had rushed upstairs to room quickly after my talk with Cam. I needed this room and I was going to try my hardest to keep my head low like Cam said. I was not going to give Kyle any further ammunition to throw me out. Although I was fairly certain that it would happen regardless, I had burned my bridges by slapping him. The things I had said to him were awful. Good God what had come over me? I was not an aggressive person. I hated physical violence, I had acted completely out of character, but he called me those names… he got under my skin.

  I shuffled out of bed and crept to my door. The light bulb had blown in the upstairs landing, and even on a chair, I was too short to reach the damn thing. I couldn’t hear any movement, and I knew Cam and Derek had gone out an hour ago. Figuring the coast was clear I slipped out of my room and carefully made my way downstairs in the dark to the kitchen.

  I could have cried ‘hallelujah’ when I found the kitchen empty. One handed, I made myself a crummy cheese sandwich and grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. I didn’t bother to sit at the table, I was too on edge. I ate the sandwich standing over the sink. When I was finished, I turned off the kitchen light and took my bottle of water with me.

  Closing out the door, I crept back upstairs feeling my way against the wall in the dark. I gripped my door handle and stepped into my room, closing my door as quietly as I could. Turning on my light, I noticed someone lying in my bed. Black sheets? This wasn’t my bed. Damn it I was in the wrong room.

  Kyle sat up slowly. His eyes were wary and fixed on mine. I dropped my bottle with shock. “I’m sorry, so sorry,” I muttered as I bent down to get my drink. God dammit, it rolled under his bed. I dropped to my knees and stretched my good hand out desperately trying to retrieve my stupid bottle. When the springs on his bed squeaked I froze. A dozen different scenarios ran through my mind, all of which ended with me being turned out on the street. My body jumped into action, I leapt up from the floor. “You know I wasn’t thirsty anyway,” I babbled, “It was dark, I didn’t mean to come in here, I meant the second door on the right.” I grabbed the door handle.

  “Wait,” he said. I froze, my body obeying his command. I sucked in a trembling breath, but didn’t dare turn around. I felt him approach me, the hairs on the back of my neck rose and I shuddered. I battled down the urge to whimper. “Wait” he said again, barely more than a whisper. I felt his fingertips brush against my shoulder for the briefest of moments and my body flamed in heat. I inhaled deeply and turned to face him. Kyle stepped back when I turned around and I wished he had not. He was naked everywhere with the exception of a pair of black silky boxer shorts. Sweet Lord almighty…

  “Are you okay?” he croaked. His eyes were such a deep blue I had a hard time concentrating on anything else. He stretched his hand out and gently touched his thumb against my injured wrist, pulling his hand back quickly. He was nervous. I put my hands behind my back. “I’m fine,” was all I said. I was afraid to say anything else that may lead to another argument. He groaned and bit his lip, as if he was in pain and ran a hand through his messy hair.

  He paced the floor, clearly agitated. “I’ve never-” he paused, closing his eyes. I could see his chest rise and fall quickly. “I have never laid a hand on a woman in my life,” he whispered, his eyes still closed. “I need you to know that. I would never hurt you intentionally. I’m not that guy Lee.” My heart melted. He was clearly distraught. I wanted to find the words to heal him. I wanted him to stop feeling so bad for something I started. “You didn’t… I mean it’s okay Kyle, it was my fault. I know you’re not that guy.”

  His eyes snapped open and I obviously said the wrong thing because he was glaring at me. “How was me fucking me marking your skin, your fault? None of what happened last night was your fault.” He moved towards me so fast that I backed against the door, a small cry slipped from throat. He was so close to me, my body shuddered in anticipation. “Jesus Christ you’re afraid of me. I fucking frighten you Lee.”

  He dropped his head, his body trembled. He looked down at his hand, his head bent. I was afraid of him, but not for the reasons he thought. I could feel his regret, I wanted to comfort him. So I did. “I’m not afraid of you Kyle,” I whispered. Reaching up, I cupped his cheek with my good hand. He stiffened, then leaned his face into my touch, his body shuddering. I felt wetness on my fingers. “Look at me,” I demanded, pulling his chin up. He looked at me through glistened eyes. Oh god, he was crying. “I am not afraid of you. Don’t torture yourself over something I caused”.

  “I shouldn’t…” he began. “You did nothing, I slapped your face, and you reacted in instinct. It was an accident.” I rubbed my thumb over his cheekbone; I was desperate to comfort him. He straightened, leaning closer, he bent his head to my ear “I promise you I will never hurt you again. That,” he said pointing at my wrist, “will never happen to you again. Ever.” I did not doubt the truth in his words. But I wasn’t sure what he meant, it will never happen again? I looked up at him. “Do you want me to leave?” I didn’t mean to be so blunt but I needed to know where I stood, if I had a place to stay. “What?” he asked surprised. “Cam said you might not want me anymore.” I reddened embarrassed at my verbal blunder, “I mean, you might not want me to stay here anymore.” He sighed deeply, leaning down he pressed his forehead against mine. “You can’t still want to stay here.” My heart sank. He wanted me gone. He was just too nice to say.

  “Please Kyle,” I begged, “I have nowhere else to go. I can stay out of your way. I promise I won’t cause trouble for you and Rach…” I couldn’t say her name, “I’ll be invisible.” I knew he hated desperate girls, he had told me that. And here I was begging and desperate. I had no other option.

  He groaned, his breath hitting my face like a drug. “That’s impossible,” he whispered. Tears fell from my eyes and I nodded in gloomy acceptance. Kyle wanted me out of his life. His hands cupped my face gently, forcing me to look at him. “There’s no fucking way you could EVER be invisible to me baby.” Those words caused the muscles in my pelvis to tighten.

  He lifted my injured hand to his mouth and kissed the inside of my wrist softly. I gasped from the sweet gesture His body pressed closer to mine, and I could only watch in sweet anticipation as he lowered his head to mine. Kyle’s lips found mine, kissing me softly. He ran his tongue against my lower lip, and I opened my mouth to accept his probing tongue.

  Heat fizzled inside me, the room felt clouded with sexual tension. When I sucked on his tongue, his kiss changed from gentle to severe, hungry. My lips matched his with a desperation and hunger of my own. I pressed my body against his, urging him on. One of his hands clung to my hip, the other knotted in my hair. Fireworks exploded inside me and I could barely contain myself as my body thrummed to his touch. I felt this strange swell building up inside me, my desire for him carrying me forward. His hands moved over my body; my hips, my stomach, when they reached my breasts I cried out his name. He ran his hands from waist up to my arms.

  Pulling back, he looked at me for approval. I knew I shouldn’t let him touch me, he was another woman’s man; every other woman’s man, but I realised in that moment that I was in love with him. Oh god how I’d fallen for him, and I would take any piece of him I could. I nodded. He raised my arms above my head, and then pulled my tank top over my head. I wasn’t wearing a bra and breasts fell heavily when released. I was naked
from the waist up, but my entire soul was bared to this man. My feelings for him were overwhelming and I shook in his arms. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered, as his conflicted gaze travelled from my breasts to my eyes. I nodded my head eagerly, “Yes you should.” He lowered his head and took my nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around the tip. He tugged he bud gently between his teeth. “Yes…Please” I begged, my body thrashed against the door. He growled and grabbed my neck kissing me deeply.

  I wrapped my arms around his neck and clung to him. I couldn’t feel the pain in wrist now; my body too consumed in raw pleasure. Kissing my neck, he said, “I want you so fucking bad Lee, I can’t think straight.” Oh god. “I want you too.” He groaned into my mouth. Grabbing my hips, he lifted me and I wrapped my legs around hips instinctively. He turned with me in his arms and walked to the bed. Our tongues licked, sucked, and collided with a passion I had never felt in my whole life. I was his, he owned me.

  He lowered me onto his bed and I whimpered when he moved away from me. “Please, don’t stop.” Kyle chuckled, “Shh baby I got you.” He leaned over me, his fingers reached into the waistband of my pyjama bottoms and underwear. He slipped them down my body, then pushed my legs apart, baring my core to him. “You are so beautiful,” he said, his hand trailing down my stomach, “It’s too much.”

  In that moment, with the way he looked at me, I felt beautiful. He ran his tongue up my thigh and I bucked under him. His fingers dipped into my mound I screamed in pleasure. His thumb rolled over my clit as he sank one finger into me. “Christ princess you’re so fucking tight, you’re killing me” His tongue travelled up to my groin and I panted. “Oh please,” I cried. “I gotta taste you baby. Gotta taste this tight pussy.” Heat pooled between my legs and everything tightened. His dirty words pushing me higher, harder. “Hmm so fucking sweet. So wet. I’m gonna eat this pussy baby.” His tongue touched my core and the pressure that was building inside me exploded. “Kyle…” I cried out.