As the Christmas Cookie Crumbles

by Leslie Budewitz

  I was in such a good mood, I didn’t even mind her squeaky voice. “What? Did the phone company take pity and send me a replacement after all?” I’d gone more than forty-eight hours without a phone, and that was about forty-seven too many.

  I grabbed a knife and cut the clear tape, then tore into the box, tossing bubble wrap aside, eager to see my new magic electronic whiz-bang.

  My brow furrowed. No magic, no electronics. Inside the box lay three brass nametags in the shape of the state of Montana. The Merc, they said, followed by our names, one each for Tracy, Lou Mary, and me.

  I’d forgotten I’d ordered them early in the week, after my frustration at never being able to remember the name of the cashier at the Building Supply. Jane was now permanently etched in my brain. I hoped.

  “You don’t need a new phone,” Candy said. She reached into the pocket of her pink tulle ballet skirt and pulled out a battery. “I have an extra battery, from when I dropped hot syrup on the screen of mine and it cracked and—well, you can have it.”

  I retrieved my poor phone from my desk upstairs and handed it over. She popped off the back like an expert and snapped the battery in. One push of a button and it sparked into life.

  And then I surprised even myself. I hugged Candy Divine.

  Thirty

  Relax, Erin,” Chef Kyle Caldwell said. “This isn’t the first rehearsal dinner we’ve ever hosted. It isn’t even a particularly big one.”

  Maybe not, but it was my rehearsal dinner. The long pine tables were set with the Lodge’s best plates and gleaming silver. Fresh green boughs dotted with pine cones graced the center of the table, white pillar candles in canning jars ready to light.

  Another table held the tins of cookies my great-aunts Sophia and Carla had carried on the plane, for an Italian wedding tradition I knew Adam would love.

  And yes, there were biscotti.

  As was the custom, our out-of-town guests would be joining the wedding party for dinner—my uncles, aunts, and cousins from California, a few friends from Seattle and Missoula, and Adam’s family.

  I had laughed till I cried when I met the twins—two tall, dark-haired men with curls and dancing eyes and dimples just like Adam’s. Calvin had been the first to wrap me in a bear hug—or had it been Alan? I threatened to make them wear name tags, but one of the wives—May or June, cousins who could easily have been twins—said they’d probably just switch and confuse everyone, even themselves. They’d hugged Adam, clapping him on the back, and though I knew he kept expecting them to shake hands with a buzzer hidden in their palms or sneak in the house and short-sheet our bed, they’d proven themselves excellent guests. They’d charmed my mother, played endless hours of games with Landon, and completely behaved themselves.

  And when I took May and June into the kitchen shop, they confessed that the boys, as they called their husbands, had finished their big construction project early and earned a bonus, so they splurged on us. Which, in my experience, was a very brotherly thing.

  “They went a little overboard,” May had said, and June chimed in, “As they always do.”

  “Erin, got a minute?” Now Alan, or Calvin, stuck his head in the dining room.

  I didn’t—it was nearly time to get dressed—but I walked over anyway. “What’s up?”

  “Our numbnuts brother has run off, and we need your help finding him.”

  For a nanosecond, I almost believed him, then I remembered who I was talking to. The twin who’d summoned me opened the door and tugged me out in to the cool, dark evening. The other twin wrapped a swath of soft fabric—a scarf I thought I recognized as Adam’s—over my eyes and tied it behind my head.

  “Oh, no. No, guys. No.” I reached up with my free arm but a hand grabbed mine before I could tug the scarf loose. “What are you doing? I have places to go and people to see. A wedding to rehearse.”

  “Oh, we’ll get you to the altar on time,” one of my soon-to-be brothers-in-law said. “Our dear brother didn’t trust us with a bachelor party, and while snowshoeing through forty feet of snow was fun, in a perverse sort of way, we have something else in mind.”

  With me as the bait.

  They wrapped another scarf around my hands and loaded me into the back seat of their rental car. Just track the turns they make and figure the distance. You’ll be fine, I told myself. You’ll be back in no time.

  The driver—I had no idea which one it was—pulled out of the parking lot and made a hard left, the back end of the car sliding to the right. I breathed in sharply.

  “You idiot. Have you never driven on ice before?” the passenger brother said.

  “What are you talking about? We don’t have ice in Minnesota,” the driver twin replied.

  We drove up the hill on the main road a quarter mile. Turned right.

  “Not that way, you goofball.” Backed up and went the other way. We turned left, the sound of the tires on pavement telling me we’d reached the highway. We crossed the big bridge over the bay, and stopped for the town’s single stoplight.

  “Where are we going?” I said.

  “It’s a surprise,” came the unsurprising answer. We circled round, me doing my best to figure out where we were, then I realized we were back on Lodge property.

  “Long way ’round Robin Hood’s barn,” I said.

  One twin chuckled. “What does that mean, anyway?”

  We hit a rut and the car lurched to the left, then leveled out and I knew we were on one of the service roads.

  “We’ve been exploring,” one of them said. “This place is amazing.”

  Trust them to have found every secret nook and cranny.

  The car slowed to a stop, and the driver shut off the engine. The doors opened, and one of them helped me out, quite gently. A barn door on wheels slid open and the familiar smells of horses and hay hit my nostrils.

  I sneezed, doubling over with the force of it.

  “Good gravy, girl. That would blow a man back to the Midwest,” one of my captors said.

  “I can’t help it. I always sneeze at the first smell of hay and the first taste of champagne.”

  “Very romantic,” he replied.

  A horse whinnied. “Ribbons,” I called. “Good girl.” She neighed back in response. I hadn’t seen the chestnut mare since she’d gone to winter pasture, but she’d been brought back to pull the wedding sleigh. She’d be paired with Kintla, a big Appaloosa I was equally fond of.

  We were deep inside the barn now, one brother on each side.

  “Here we are. You’re going to go up the ladder, one step at a time,” one said. “I’ll be right behind you.”

  Climbing a ladder with a blindfold and your hands tied behind your back, even if with a cashmere muffler, is unnerving. Alan—or Calvin—talked me up the steps, with encouraging murmurs from his brother on the ground.

  “Now, I’m going to help you,” my guide said, one hand on my shoulder, then other on my back. “Sit, then swing your legs over the side. I’m right here with you.”

  “Careful if she sneezes again,” his brother called. “You’ll be flat on your back on the barn floor.”

  I smelled horse blankets. I knew where I was, and I wasn’t afraid. I let them lower me into the box, one of Walt Thornton’s unsold prizes—an oversized Christmas package. My feet found the small steps inside. The twins hoisted the lid into place, and left me alone in the dark.

  I probably could have gotten out, if I’d been willing to stand and rock the box onto its side. But after what I’d been through this week—getting run off the road into an icy ditch, then whacked in the back by a mad woman yielding a snowman’s cane—I decided to sit and wait. To be part of the joke, whatever it was. This was not just a practical joke on their brother—it was my initiation into the Zimmerman family. And I was determined to pass the test.

  But I didn’t have to huddle in the corner, blind and helpless. I was able to snag the knit scarf binding my hands on the edge of a step and loosen it enough to slip off. Th
en I untied my cashmere blindfold, wrapped it around my neck, and leaned against the pile of blankets. A few air holes let in barn light, and after the craziness of the last week, it felt good to rest.

  I woke to the sound of urgent voices.

  “What did you do with her?” Adam asked. “First you send me all over the place on a scavenger hunt. Then you kidnap my fiancée—”

  “We haven’t done anything, man,” one twin said.

  The other added, “Smart girl like that, she musta run off. Did you think she would marry a goon like you?”

  “But don’t worry, brother,” the first one said. “We brought you a very special gift, all the way from the North Pole.”

  Tanner howled. “Now you’re in for it, Z. You really should have let them throw you a bachelor party. What did you think they would do? Hire a stripper to jump out of a cake?”

  Ah, my good buddy, throwing me a clue. Or cue. Or whatever.

  Something thunked against the side of the box. The ladder. The lid rose a few inches, then slid off and landed on the barn floor with a thud. I climbed the tiny steps, threw up my arms, and yelled, “Ta-da!”

  Adam punched the nearest twin, and the other jumped on his back. Tanner reached in to separate them and found himself sitting on the barn floor, laughing. From my perch atop the box, I rubbed the stars on my wrist and watched, eyes wide, one hand over my mouth. My black eye was barely noticeable now; I didn’t need anyone else sporting one on our big day.

  ∞

  The sleigh driver, Kim’s father in a sheepskin coat and a cowboy hat trimmed with a red silk poinsettia, pulled on the reins gently. Ribbons and Kintla slowed and the sleigh slid to a stop. Ribbons tossed her mane and turned her head toward me, big eyes shining, as if she knew this ride was special.

  I took Nick’s hand and stepped down, my ankle perfectly sound in my red cowboy boots. My mother adjusted the red angora wrap around my shoulders. Then Kim, wearing the first dress I’d seen her in since our high school graduation, handed me my bouquet, and led the way. My mother and I took my brother’s arms. Tanner met us at the carriage house door and he and Kim began the procession.

  Everyone stood, except my sister, sitting in the front row with my new baby niece in her arms. Beside her, Landon clutched the ring bearer’s pillow, ready to leap into action when called upon.

  In front of the lectern, in her angelic white robes, Reverend Anne beamed.

  I took a deep breath, and we started up the aisle. At the front of the room, Nick and my mother kissed me, and stepped back to find their seats.

  And there stood my beloved, my knight in a blue suit.

  Adam took my hand and I knew, without a doubt, that we would live happily ever after.

  THE END

  COOKING UP TROUBLE WITH THE MURPHY CLAN

  The Christmas Cookie Exchange

  Cookie exchanges are a great way to fill your holiday cookie jar without spending days baking. Each participant brings enough of one cookie or candy for other participants to take home a half or full dozen, plus a few to sample. Choose sturdy cookies that pack and keep well. Pack offerings in advance, or at the gathering. And bring recipes!

  Almond Bianchi aka Almond Cloud Cookies

  These gluten-free delights are light and meringue-like, with a magical almond flavor. Perfect with espresso or a strong cup of tea.

  8–10 ounces almond paste (package sizes vary)

  1 cup sugar

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  2 large egg whites, lightly beaten

  3⁄8–½ teaspoon almond extract

  Powdered sugar, aka confectioners’ sugar, for topping

  Heat the oven to 325 degrees. Line two baking sheets with parchment paper or silicone liners.

  In a stand mixer, blend the almond paste, sugar, and salt until the mixture becomes uniformly crumbly. Gradually add the egg whites while mixing, to make a smooth paste. Stir in the extract.

  Scoop the dough by heaping tablespoons onto the prepared pans. (You won’t think you have enough for 2 dozen cookies, but you will!) Sprinkle the cookies with the powdered sugar—they will expand as they bake, so be very generous. Use three fingers to press an indentation into the center of each cookie.

  Bake 22–25 minutes, until they’re brown around the edges. Remove from the oven, and let the cookies cool right in the pan.

  Makes 2 dozen.

  Merrily’s Russian Teacakes

  So good, they could be deadly. A classic, also known as Snowballs, Mexican Wedding Cakes, and Pecan Sandies.

  1 cup butter (2 sticks), softened

  ½ cup powdered or confectioners’ sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  2¼ cups all-purpose flour

  ¼ teaspoon salt

  ¾ cup finely chopped pecans

  About ½ cup additional powdered sugar, for rolling baked cookies

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

  In a mixing bowl, cream the butter, sugar, and vanilla. Combine the flour and salt and stir into the creamed mixture. Stir in pecans. Chill up to an hour.

  Roll dough into 1-inch balls and bake on an ungreased cookie sheet for 10–12 minutes. Pour the additional powdered sugar into a flat bowl or on a plate. When cool enough to touch but still warm, roll cookies in the powdered sugar. Cool, then roll in sugar again if you’d like.

  Makes 4 dozen.

  Molly’s Six-Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

  Okay, so they’re not a traditional Christmas cookie, but when they’re this tasty, who cares?

  These cookies are gluten-free and freeze nicely. Spritz your measuring cup with cooking spray—one quick burst will do—before scooping up the peanut butter, and it will slip right out and clean up easily. Adams’ No-Stir Chunky peanut butter is perfect for this recipe—and not just because of the name!

  2 cups peanut butter

  2 cups white sugar (scant)

  1 teaspoon vanilla extract

  2 eggs

  2 teaspoons baking soda

  1 pinch salt

  Heat oven to 350 degrees.

  In a medium bowl, cream together peanut butter and sugar. Beat in the vanilla and eggs, one at a time. Stir in baking soda and salt. Roll dough into 1-inch balls and place on a cookie sheet 2 inches apart. Press a fork into the top to make a criss-cross pattern. Bake 10–12 minutes. Cool on baking sheet 5 minutes before removing to wire rack to cool completely.

  Makes 4 dozen.

  Fudge Ecstasies

  Adding half the chocolate chips just before baking gives these crackle-topped cookies a soft, fudgy interior. And mixing the batter in the sauce pan makes clean up easy!

  1 12-ounce package (2 cups) semi-sweet chocolate chips, divided

  2 ounces unsweetened chocolate

  2 tablespoons butter

  ¼ cup all-purpose flour, heaping

  ¼ teaspoon baking powder

  2 eggs

  2⁄3 cup sugar

  1 teaspoon vanilla

  1 cup chopped walnuts or pecans

  Heat oven to 350 degrees.

  In a heavy medium saucepan, melt 1 cup of the chocolate chips, the unsweetened chocolate, and the butter, stirring constantly until melted. Remove from heat and allow to cool slightly.

  In a small bowl, stir together the flour, baking powder, and a dash of salt.

  Add the eggs, sugar, and vanilla to the chocolate mixture, in the saucepan but off the heat; mix well. Add the flour mixture and mix well. Stir in the remaining one cup of chocolate chips and the nuts.

  Drop by teaspoons onto a baking sheet. Bake 8–10 minutes, or until the edges are firm and the surface dull and cracked. Allow to cool on the baking sheet for a minute or two, then transfer to a rack to cool completely.

  Makes about 3 dozen.

  At Home with the Murphy Clan

  Classic Italian Lasagna

  “Oven ready” (no boil) noodles make this dish easy-peasy! Perfect with a green salad dressed with Basil Vinaigrette.

  1 pound ground beef or sirloin<
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  ½ cup chopped onion

  2 cloves garlic, minced

  3 cups (25-ounce jar) spaghetti sauce

  1 cup chopped tomatoes, with the liquid (fresh or canned work equally well)

  1¾ cups (15-ounce container) ricotta

  1 egg, slightly beaten

  1 teaspoon dried basil

  1 teaspoon dried oregano

  9–12 oven-ready lasagna noodles, uncooked

  3 cups (12 ounces) shredded mozzarella

  ½ cup grated Parmesan

  Heat oven to 350 degrees and spray or lightly grease a 13x9-inch pan.

  Brown the ground beef and add the onions and garlic, cooking until onions are translucent. Add the tomato sauce and tomatoes, and mix.

  In a small bowl, mix the ricotta, egg, basil, and oregano.

  Spread ½ cup of the beef and tomato mixture into the prepared pan. Top with three noodles, making sure the noodles do not touch. Spread 2⁄3 cup of the ricotta mixture on top of the noodles. Add another layer of beef and tomatoes, and 1 cup mozzarella. Repeat, layering noodles, ricotta, beef and tomatoes, and mozzarella, until done. Top with the Parmesan.

  Cover with foil and bake 35 minutes. Remove foil and bake another 10–15 minutes, until hot and bubbly. Allow to rest 5 minutes before cutting and serving.

  This dish can be assembled and frozen without baking. Cover tightly and refrigerate up to two days, or freeze up to two months. Bake the refrigerated dish 40 minutes, then 10–15 minutes uncovered; bake the frozen dish 1 hour 30 minutes, then 10–15 minutes uncovered, or thaw and bake as if refrigerated.

  Basil Vinaigrette

  A lively vinaigrette to give your salads the taste of summer all year-round.

  ½ cup extra virgin olive oil

  1½ tablespoons red or white wine vinegar

  1 tablespoon water

  1 small shallot, peeled and sliced

  1 scant teaspoon Dijon mustard

  ¾ teaspoon kosher or flaky sea salt

  2 cups loosely packed fresh basil leaves

  Put the olive oil, vinegar, water, shallot, mustard, and salt in a blender or the container for an immersion blender. Coarsely chop the basil leaves and add them immediately. Blend until the vinaigrette is smooth. Thin if you’d like by adding a little more water or olive oil.