Deepest Desire

by Weston Parker

  Meek made a significant dent in it all, which made Skylar happy. She filled his plate for him a couple times, until eventually he had to tell her that he was stuffed and if he ate one more bite of anything he would implode. I took the plate from Skylar she had offered him and set to emptying it.

  I nudged Meek and nodded at Gwen, who was sitting on a blanket in the middle of the living room surrounded by wrapping paper from the presents she had opened. She found the paper and bows far more interesting than any of the toys she had received.

  “Crazy to think she’s one already, hey?” I said.

  “It is,” Meek said, nodding slowly. “It seems like only yesterday that you told me Skylar was pregnant. Remember that?”

  “Of course I remember that,” I said.

  “You cried,” Meek said, giving me a sideways look as he grinned at me.

  I looked at my plate. “I was really happy, okay?”

  Meek chuckled and crossed his arms over his chest. “I know. I know. But I won’t ever forget.”

  “I would expect nothing less,” I said as I cleared the final bite of nachos from my plate. I watched as Skylar went and sat behind Gwen. She began crinkling the wrapping paper and teasing Gwen with it. Gwen squealed with delight and reached out with wide spread fingers to her mother.

  Skylar tickled her and giggled, and the two of them proceeded to play in the pile of wrapping paper.

  “You’re a lucky man, Greyson,” Meek said.

  I looked over at my friend and realized I had been smiling as I watched my girls. “I am,” I agreed.

  “You were right about her all along. Skylar, I mean. You knew as soon as you saw her that you had to meet her. I remember laughing at you about it. I thought you were mental. It seemed so irrational to me at the time. But now I see why you did it. She’s your perfect match.”

  “She is,” I said. “Somehow I’m more in love with her now than I ever was. I didn’t think that would ever be possible. It’s insane.”

  Meek nodded slowly. “She feels the same way about you. I can tell by how she looks at you.”

  Just then, Skylar looked up at me. She froze and our eyes locked. Gwen plucked a piece of tissue paper out of Skylar’s hand and gave a triumphant little cry.

  I grinned, and so did Skylar.

  Renee joined Skylar and Gwen on the floor and I watched as the three of them continued to play. Soon paper was being tossed up in the air, and Gwen was looking up at it like it was something magical. I was always astounded when I watched her. Everything new was a wonder.

  Gwen reached her hands above her head as the tissue floated down towards her. She giggled as it landed on her head, and then she looked back and forth. A small panicky sound came out of her and Skylar plucked the tissue from her head and cried “Voila!”

  Gwen squealed with laughter, wobbled, and then rolled on to her back as she lost balance.

  Everyone laughed.

  I nudged Meek and handed him my plate. Meek took it and seemed to know exactly what I was doing.

  I went to the middle of the living room and sat down beside Gwen. I picked her up and lifted her high in the air. She smiled down at me and laughed gleefully when I tossed her gently up and down, then guided her through the air like she was an airplane. Skylar watched on with a smile curving her lips as I played with our daughter.

  Soon Gwen tired of all the games and was content to lay in my lap. I was still on the floor in the living room as the guests started to leave. Everyone peered over my shoulder to say goodbye to Gwen and wish her happy birthday once more.

  Gwen was asleep by the time the door closed behind Meek, who was the last guest to leave. Once everyone was gone Skylar and Renee collapsed on the couch in front of me.

  Skylar put her heels up on the coffee table and let out a deep breath. “That went well,” she said.

  “See? I told you it would all be fine,” I said.

  She nodded and rubbed at her eyes. “I know. You were right, as always. But now I feel like I could sleep for days. That took everything out of me.”

  “Have a nap,” I suggested, “I’ll clean this all up. It won’t take me long. Gwen is ready to be put down for a nap, too. By the time you wake up the house will be back in order and we can all have dinner together. Maybe we’ll order in.”

  “I could go for some pizza,” Renee chimed in.

  “Sure,” Skylar said, “But I’ll help you clean.”

  “No,” Renee said, “You sleep, Greyson and I can handle this. Right Greyson?”

  I nodded. “Absolutely. It won’t take us long at all. Besides, I’m not tired.”

  Renee grinned at Skylar, who looked like she could fall asleep right then and there on the couch. “Okay,” she said hesitantly, “But leave the dishes for me. I’ll do them when I get up.”

  “Uh huh, sure thing,” I said.

  But Renee and I exchanged a knowing look. We would clean the whole house. Skylar deserved at least that for throwing such a perfect first birthday for our little one.

  Skylar

  When I woke from my nap I felt refreshed and rejuvenated. The sun appeared to have just gone down fifteen minutes ago or so, and I rolled out of bed and shuffled over to my slippers in the closet. I slipped my feet into them and left the bedroom.

  At the railing I peered down to the main floor.

  It was spotless. Greyson and Renee had cleaned the entire place in only two hours. Not a single streamer remained, and somehow all the glitter was gone, too. I smiled to myself as I began descending the stairs.

  “Hello?” I called, wondering where everyone was. I walked around and spotted them outside in the garden. It was lit with twinkly lights I had asked Greyson to string up after we moved in. It was a magical little garden with a small patio and a fountain off to the right. We had a hot tub too, but barely used it.

  I joined them outside and slid the patio door closed behind me. Gwen was in Renee’s lap and was staring up at the lights.

  “The house looks great,” I said, “Thank you for doing all that work.”

  “Of course,” Renee said, “With the two of us it was easy. Went by in a flash.” Renee snapped her fingers and smiled brightly at me.

  Greyson got to his feet and gave me a kiss. When he pulled away he nodded down at my sister. “You girls stay out here and talk. I’m going to take Gwen inside and I’ll order the pizza. Then maybe watch some cartoons. Because why not?”

  I smiled at him. “Thank you.”

  He kissed me again before scooping Gwen up and carrying her into the house. I took a seat in the chair Greyson had vacated and tilted it back so I could look up at the lights.

  “Thanks for flying down for her birthday. I’m really glad you’re here.”

  “I wouldn’t miss Gwen’s birthday,” Renee said, “Not for anything. I love that little goober more than anything. I’ll be at every single one of her birthdays. Even when she’s too old to want me there. I’ll help Greyson fend off the boys with a sharp stick.”

  I laughed and so did my sister.

  “So,” Renee said after we settled down, “How have things been? Is it hard being a parent?”

  “Yes,” I admitted. “It has its challenges. Greyson and I both love being parents. We love being with Gwen all the time and providing for her and taking care of her. She’s the most important thing in the world to us. But we are finding that it’s a bit tricky to try to carve out time for ourselves. At night, once we put Gwen down to sleep, we always plan on trying to stay up to enjoy time just the two of us but we can hardly keep our eyes open by that point. I can’t even count how many times we’ve fallen asleep on the couch together and he’s put me to bed at some ungodly hour.”

  “He’s the sweetest,” Renee said softly.

  “I know. And I want to do something to show him how much I appreciate him, but I need the time to do it.”

  Renee sat up straighter and turned in her chair so she was facing me a bit more directly. “Well, I’m here now. Why don’t
you guys have a date night tomorrow?”

  I blinked at her. “I couldn’t ask you to-”

  “But you’re not asking. I’m offering. You and Greyson can have the evening together and I’ll watch Gwen. I’m not going to complain about some one on one time with my niece.”

  I considered it for a moment. “I don’t know, I’d feel guilty. You’re here to visit, not babysit. I feel like we would be taking advantage of you.”

  “Oh please,” Renee said, rolling her eyes. “I’m your sister. You’re supposed to take advantage of me. I want to help.”

  Having time alone with Greyson would be wonderful. I had been craving it for months now. Every now and then we were able to get in a couple of hours just the two of us, but it never felt like we were quite able to give one another our full attention.

  We were always straining our eyes to listen for a cry from Gwen’s room. Or we were checking the clock to see if it was time to feed her. Or we were tidying up after a busy day and then all we wanted at the end of the day was to cuddle up together and do absolutely nothing.

  Those moments were still precious to me, but they were lacking the steamy edge our old dates used to hold. I wanted to be around Greyson again and not be able to keep my hands off of him. I wanted to remind him just how good we could make each other feel.

  Being able to have that with him without any distractions would be a treat for both of us.

  “Come on, what do you say?” Renee pried.

  “Okay,” I said, unable to stop smiling, “Let’s do it. Thank you so much, you have no idea how much this means to us. We won’t stay out late. I’ll make sure we’re home before eleven so you can go to bed and-”

  “Oh my God, Sky. Stop it. If you guys come home before midnight I’m not going to let you in.”

  “You can’t do that,” I said.

  “Try me. You guys deserve this. You’ve been working hard raising your daughter and there is nothing wrong with taking a little bit of time just for yourselves. I can handle a night with her, don’t worry about me. It will be fun.”

  “Greyson will be excited,” I said.

  “He’d better be,” Renee winked.

  Renee and I stayed outside for the next half hour or so, and she told me how her life was going back in Houston. She seemed happy, which in turn made me happy, and I promised to go out there and visit her next time. I wanted to take Gwen there sometime to meet Nikki and some of Renee’s old friends that had always been around when we were growing up.

  We came inside when we heard the doorbell ring for pizza. We all gathered around the table and sat to eat. The hot cheese and marinara sauce hit the spot, and I found myself savoring each and every bite. As I ate I realized that I was still quite tired, and I was growing eager for my bed again.

  “Who knew planning a birthday party for someone who’s only been alive for twelve months could be so much work,” I mumbled through a bite of pizza. “I feel like I’ve been awake for days. How are you still functioning?” I directed my question at Greyson.

  He looked up at me and shrugged. He swallowed a relatively large bite of food and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I could sleep, but hunger outweighs all other bodily needs.”

  Renee arched an eyebrow. “That must be a man thing.”

  “Maybe,” Greyson said, “But really, who passes up pizza to go to bed?”

  I looked down at the second slice of pizza sitting on my plate. I had been contemplating leaving it and going to get ready for bed, but Greyson’s words were true. There was time for sleep later. Right now I was going to enjoy my pizza with my family.

  Greyson caught me smiling as I took another bite. “You good over there?” He asked.

  I nodded and gave him a thumbs up as I chewed.

  Renee chuckled and shot a glance over her shoulder at Gwen, who was sitting in her jolly jumper and bouncing happily. “She sure likes that thing, hey?”

  Greyson nodded. “She likes anything with movement. We think she’s going to be a real daredevil. She likes being tossed in the air and going fast. She’s going to be just like her daddy.”

  “Hopefully not too much like her daddy,” Renee teased, “Because he once got me kidnapped.”

  Greyson blinked in surprise and then laughed. “Okay, I deserved that.”

  “It’s cool to think about who she’s going to be when she grows up,” Renee said. “What kind of human will she be? Will she like science, English, animals, people? What kind of impact will she have? Will she be fashionable or not?”

  “These are all questions I’ve wondered too,” I said. It was true. There was so much unknown with having a child. There were no answers to all the questions I had. “Only time will tell.”

  Later, Greyson and I put Gwen to bed. She lay in her crib, staring up at us with heavy eyes as she fought valiantly to stay awake. We talked quietly and soothed her until eventually she lost the battle. Her eyes fell closed and her small breaths evened out, and we stood together looking down at our little miracle.

  “Whatever kind of human you turn out to be, little girl, your mommy and daddy will love you forever. More than anything,” Greyson said softly, reaching down and stroking her hair. His hand looked massive atop her tiny head.

  I wrapped my hands around his arm and rested my chin on his shoulder. “What do you think she’ll become?” I whispered.

  Greyson closed one of his hands over my fingers. “Whatever she wants.”

  I smiled to myself. The man I had married was so wise. His answer calmed my thoughts and I nodded against his arm. “I love you.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “I love you too.”

  We retired to our bedroom after watching our daughter sleep for five minutes or so. We readied for bed, as per our usual routine, and once we were under the covers I rolled on to my side to face my husband.

  “So, Renee offered to watch Gwen tomorrow night.”

  “Oh?” Greyson asked, looking over at me.

  “We can finally have a full night to ourselves. Just you and me, like how it always used to be.”

  Greyson shifted around so he was facing me. He propped his head up on hand and grinned at me deviously. “Just you and me, hey?”

  I nodded.

  “What does that mean? Are there any particular expectations on this date?”

  I giggled and shook my head. “No expectations. Just you and me. We’ll pick somewhere special to go.”

  “And what are we going to do once we get to this somewhere special?”

  I shrugged. “Talk. Sleep.”

  Greyson laughed again and the joyful sound made me smile. “Okay, okay. I’m looking forward to our special date of talking and sleeping tomorrow. Your sister is a gem.”

  “She is,” I whispered, unable to stop my eyes from falling closed.

  Greyson wrapped me up in his arms and pulled me close to him. I found my favorite spot, nestled in the groove of his body, and breathed in the pine fresh smell of him as we both surrendered to the tiredness in our bodies.

  It had been a wonderful day. It had been long, that was for sure, but wonderful nonetheless; like most of our days now. I sighed happily and focused on the heat of Greyson’s skin against mine as I drifted off.

  I dreamt of the following night and of all the things I wanted to do with Greyson when we were alone.

  Greyson

  I was standing with my arms crossed over my chest and leaning against the front door as Skylar told her sister where every baby related item in the house was. Renee shot me a wary glance and I used every ounce of self-control I possessed not to start laughing at her. Laughing right now would do no good. Skylar was in full blown ‘protective mother bear mode’, and any interruption from me would only cause her to start over again. We had already been at this for fifteen minutes.

  “The extra formula is in the cupboard to the right of the fridge. Bottom shelf, blue box. You won’t miss it. I don’t think you’ll need it because I prepared enough for you this a
fternoon. We usually put her down around eight, that’s when she normally gets tired. She doesn’t go to bed with anything to drink, or anything in her mouth. Okay? If you just talk to her while she’s in her crib she should fall asleep in five minutes. What else, what else? Oh! All our take out menus are on the side of the fridge. Order whatever, use one of these cards.” Skylar handed Renee a black credit card. “Do you think you need anything else?”

  “Besides a shot of tequila?” Renee asked. “No. I think I’ve got it from here.”

  “Okay. Just remember, if you need anything just call us. Please. Don’t worry about interrupting us we want to know if anything goes wrong or-”

  “Okay,” I said, pushing myself off the door. I took Skylar’s elbow and guided her gently away from her sister and to the front door. “There is such a thing as giving a person too much information. Your sister has this. She’s related to you. It will be fine. Let’s go.”

  Renee shot me a grateful look and mouthed ‘thank you’.

  “I saw that,” Skylar said.

  “Let’s go,” I said a little more firmly as I opened the front door and pushed her outside ahead of me. “It’s babysitting, not nuclear physics.”

  “But I just want to make sure everything is-”

  I turned around and rolled my eyes at Renee, who covered her mouth and giggled as I pulled the door closed behind me. I faced Skylar, who was staring at the front door with a pale expression. “We’ve never left our little girl before.”

  “We’re not leaving her,” I said, sensing how delicate Skylar’s emotions were at the present moment. “We are taking advantage of a rare moment for the two of us to spend some uninterrupted quality time together.”

  “Don’t you feel like we’re being selfish?” Skylar asked as I took her hand and brought her to the car.

  “No, I don’t. I think this is the kind of thing responsible parents do. We want her to grow up with good role models for relationships, right? Isn’t this the kind of thing people in a good marriage do? They keep dating. They keep making time for each other. Consider this parenting.”