Deepest Desire

by Weston Parker

  "I don't see anyone but you." He gripped the side of my face and leaned in to kiss me a few times. "Open up to me, Jenna. Let me in deep. It's the only place I wanna be."

  "Is deep inside of me?" I whispered and studied his face, falling even more in love with him. He was vulgar, crude, unconventional. The polar opposite to me.

  "You know it, princess. My place, or yours?" He kissed me again and moved toward the bike.

  "No sandwiches?"

  "We can fix something back at the house. Whose are we going to?" He got on the bike and reached for my dress.

  "Mine. Let's go to mine." I got on the back of the bike and pressed myself to him, wrapping my arms around him tightly again. The delicious ache between my thighs combined with my blood pumping violently around my system had me feeling a little dizzy.

  My eyes met up with the shop owner as we pulled away. She didn't look nearly as disturbed as she had a few minutes earlier. The expression was more of a longing.

  A desire to have what I had.

  "I love you," I whispered softly into the wind and kissed the back of Nate's shoulder. It was the truth, though I was sure it would be the death of me.

  He'd get complacent and leave. Why on earth would he stay?

  ***

  "You want mayonnaise or mustard on you-" I paused at the opening to the living room and smiled. Nate was sound asleep on my couch, his thick body filling up the whole thing with nothing more than a sliver left on the inside part. I'd be joining him soon.

  I walked back into the kitchen and picked up my half-sandwich before shuffling through the mail sitting on my counter. Bills. Junk mail.

  The last envelope in the pile caught my attention. It was unmarked as to who might have sent it, but I knew the handwriting for my name and address anywhere.

  Darek.

  My heart almost stopped as I walked over to the kitchen table and dropped down into a seat. I flipped the card over and set my sandwich down. The date stamped on the back was the day my brother died.

  "Fuck," I whispered and swallowed hard. Not wanting to sit in ignorance another minute, I tore the thing open and unfolded the single sheet of notebook paper with shaky hands.

  Jenna,

  I'm sure I'm overreacting, but who knows. If anything happens to me - ever, my password to my computer at the house is Dalling29954. Like our old dog that you and I picked out together.

  My eyes filled with tears, and a sob lodged in my throat. I'd forced myself to not think about my brother too much after the funeral. He was gone and where I knew his bitch bride had something to do with it, I needed to tread lightly. I'd threatened her at the funeral, and even though I hadn't done anything to fulfill the threat, she had to be nervous.

  My father would find out what the fuck was going on, or one of his boys would. Until now. Now that I had this...

  If you get this and I'm still barking orders at you and being a cock all the time, then destroy it, but if I'm gone. You know... dead, go look at the "Conversations" folder in my personal files and type in that password. Search through it and make sure that whoever fucked me up gets brought to justice. Some weird shit has been happening lately and paranoia is taking over.

  Be safe and forgive me. I just want you to be comfortable and taken care of.

  I love you, Sis.

  Darek.

  Brushing the tears from my eyes, I tucked the letter back into the envelope and took a shaky breath. What in the world would set my brother off to believe that death was after him? Had it been something that Denise said, or did?

  I had to get over to his house and check it out, but how? The bitch was still living there. I needed to figure out how to get her out of there.

  Maybe Nate could help. Maybe it was time to open up to him and explain what was going on. I stood up and moved to the living room, crawling over him and laying down in the tight spot beside the cushions.

  He turned to face me and wrapped me in a tight hug, mumbling something that sounded like, "I love you”. I doubted it was, but I needed it to be just that.

  Maybe I was wishing for too much.

  Chapter 19

  Nate

  I woke up with Jenna tucked against me, her breathing soft and deep. After a few soft kisses around her face, I rubbed her arm and squeezed.

  "Baby. I gotta go to work tonight. You staying here, or you wanna come with me?"

  Her eyelashes fluttered and she tucked herself tighter against me. Every cell in my body woke up and, more than sex, I wanted to mark her as my own. She looked so fucking innocent, so in need of my protection, my love.

  "Baby. Come on." I kissed her forehead and sat up before standing and lifting my arms to the ceiling. The sun had already set from what I could tell, and I was most likely late.

  I pulled out my phone and texted Fredrick that I was on my way. No reply, but I didn't expect one. After taking a quick trip to the bathroom and washing my face and hands, I moved back into the living room to find her still asleep.

  I stopped by the couch and placed a quick kiss on the side of her neck. "I'm headed to Kadia. Come find me there when you get up if you want to."

  She mumbled something, and I grabbed my keys and headed out. My stomach rumbled loudly, and I realized I never got that sandwich she promised. I must have passed out on the couch waiting for it.

  ***

  The ride to downtown was peaceful, despite all the traffic and pissed off people. It was part of the city's charm, and I loved it.

  I parked the bike out back and locked it up before walking around to the employee entrance in the alley behind the club. Several guards glanced my way as I opened the door and walked down the long hallway toward the boss’s office.

  "Nate. What's up, man? Bike giving you shit again?" one of the newer bouncers called out to me.

  "Naw. Fell asleep curled up to a fine woman. Doesn't happen often." I ran my fingers through my hair and glanced around at the nearly full club. "Looks like it's going to be busy tonight."

  "It's ladies’ night, bro. You know it gets sick in here." One of the bartenders walked up and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

  I glanced down at him and lifted my eyebrow.

  He pulled his arm off and lifted his hands. "Sorry, man. I thought we were cool."

  "We are. Just don't touch me." I walked through the crowd, ignoring the fingers brushing against my chest, my stomach, over my crotch. Nothing was quite capable of turning me on now that I had Jenna's smell on me. She was the epitome of all things lustful in my life. I didn't see that changing anytime soon.

  "You're needed up front." Fredrick walked by me, his head up and shoulders stiff.

  "Sure, boss." I turned on my heel and walked to the front to take my place near the entrance as he walked beside me. "You doing all right tonight?"

  "I've been better." He paused and turned to face me. "We had a young cop here most of the fucking day. A rookie, though the guy has to be in his early thirties. Bad ass turned martyr, I suppose." He ran his hand down his face. "He's good, but I'm not giving an inch."

  "About the death downstairs last week?"

  "About the leak that we're selling Zandra from my club. They're concerned and want to investigate."

  "Anything turn up?" I crossed my arms over my chest.

  "No, and it's not going to." He reached up and patted my chest. "Make sure of that."

  "Off him?" I turned and waited for a response, but didn't get one. "You gotta name for me, Fredrick?"

  He turned but continued to walk backward. "Yes. Cole Matthenson. Take care of him."

  "Got it." I turned to the front and forced myself into the moment. No need to work through anything but checking I.D.s and kicking bitches out of the club. Life would wrap its bony fingers around me the minute I walked out from my shift. For the moment I had peace. It was rare.

  ***

  "Hi, handsome." The soft voice that spoke just in front of my face caused me to jerk my head up.

  "Hey, baby." I reached fo
r Jenna and pulled her in for a long kiss. "I wasn't sure you were coming."

  "I'm not. Yet." She gave me a cute smile. "I do need to talk to you."

  I glanced up at the long line outside of the club and back down at my girl. "You didn't wait in that line, did you?"

  "Yes. I'm a law-abiding citizen. Of course, I did."

  "Jenna. I work here. Just come to the front next time." I brushed my fingers through the side of her hair and let my eyes run across her as my cock woke up. "Fuck, you look good. I want you."

  "Good. You can have me later tonight." She glanced around. "I seriously do want to talk if you get a minute."

  "Can it wait until I get off?" I licked the side of my mouth and went in for another kiss. What the fuck was it with this girl? She owned me completely.

  "No. I'm going to find something tonight, and I need you to know where I am." She glanced around. "In case something happens."

  I slid my hand down to her neck and gripped the side tightly, forcing her to look at me. "What are you talking about? This is New York City, baby. Shit happens all the time. What are you up to?"

  Nervousness tore through me. It had to be related to Darek.

  "Find me when you can." She leaned in and kissed me softly before pulling out of my hold and walking to the bar.

  It took me a few minutes to find someone that could replace me at the front of the club, but the second I did, I walked over to the bar and took the stool beside her.

  "Talk to me. What are you up to?"

  She took a sip of her beer before turning and studying me. "I lost my brother last weekend. A week ago tomorrow." Her eyes filled with tears and my heart almost stopped.

  Fuck. Did I really expect this bullshit to pass over without something becoming of it? I didn't have siblings, but if someone messed with Mikey, I sure as hell wouldn't let it go.

  "What? Why didn't you tell me that?" I reached out and ran my hand over the top of her shoulders. "What happened?"

  I was such a fucker.

  "He was murdered." She lifted the bottle to her lips and drank deeply.

  "Then we need to go to the cops, Jenna. What are you waiting on?"

  "My father is the district attorney for the state of New York. The cops know. I promise. They're looking, but whoever killed him made it look like a suicide."

  "Tell me what happened." I brushed my hand down the back of her head as sickness swelled deep inside of me.

  "He took something and his heart stopped. He pissed and shit himself before he seized out on the floor. Whatever he took was toxic."

  "I'm not trying to be a dick here, but that sounds like a suicide."

  "Yeah, I know." She finished the beer and turned to face me. "I'm going over to his place tonight. My sister told me that his widow is out on a date, so there's no one there. If I’m being honest, I’m appalled that she’s on a date already. Sick whore. He just died. We just buried him.”

  “I don’t like it, Jenna.”

  “Sorry.” She shrugged, which pissed me off. “If you get off and I don't answer my phone, can you please send my father a note and tell him that I'm at Darek's place and that I'm not answering my phone?"

  "No. I can't." I stood up and moved to hover over the top of her. "You're not going over there. If someone killed your brother, then what the fuck would stop them from killing you?"

  "You?" She smiled up at me and stood up, pressing herself to the front of me. "I'm not asking your permission, Nate. I'm going over there."

  "No, you're not." I grabbed her arm and held her in place. "And maybe you're overreacting. What evidence do you have that someone shoved a pill down your brother's throat."

  She flinched. "He wouldn't take drugs."

  "All grown men take drugs, baby. Don't be naive."

  "Not Darek." She pulled away and took a few steps back. "He didn't kill himself. Period."

  I lifted my hands, knowing I was going to lose the fight, but there was no way in hell I was letting her go near Ashley. She wouldn't survive it. Period.

  "What was the drug?" I had to know if she knew.

  She shrugged and glanced down toward her feet. "My father and I spoke just before I came up here. His call is what woke me up."

  "And?"

  She glanced up as if assessing whether to trust me. "Zandra. The same drug you gave me the other night."

  Her words stung me, but I deserved that shit tenfold. "We both took half a pill. It's not dangerous in small doses."

  "But three of them in your system will stop your heart." She pressed her hand to my chest as her expression grew tight. "Did you know that?"

  "Yes, but I would never-"

  "And do you guys sell that shit here?" She glanced around.

  "Yes, Jenna, but I'm trusting you by telling you that. I'm the nicest guy in this place."

  "Are you threatening me?" Her voice broke a little, but she stood her ground. I was close to throwing up, but her being so brave caused my spirits to lift a little.

  "Never. Not in a million years. I know you're upset, but you're pushing up against the wrong chest. I'm on your side, baby." I used her hold on my shirt to pull her close. "You're not going over there."

  "Why?" She glanced up and stole my breath with her sweet face.

  "Because. Your brother took a drug and OD'd. There's no reason to relive that shit."

  "The bitch who married him killed him."

  "And you're sure of that?"

  "Yes. I just need proof."

  "There is no way the girl drugged your brother. You just said he took the pills."

  "She forced him to."

  "You're sure of that?" I needed to back up. By the look on her face, I was saying too fucking much. I could get Ashley out of the apartment for the evening and keep her with me to ensure Jenna's safety. There was no way the pretty girl pressed to my chest would find anything.

  Darek killed himself. No matter how anyone looked at it. The fucker took all three pills. Period. It was the only murder we were clear of. I should have felt like shit for being involved, but I didn't pick the bastard, didn't marry him, and I didn't drug him. I was clean on this one.

  Sort of.

  "Fuck you." Her expression hardened. "I need someone to believe me. To help me, and I thought it would be you." She reached up and slapped me in the face as I growled low in my chest.

  "Don't hit me."

  "Don't worry. I won't be within hitting distance. Thanks for the support." She turned and walked toward the door, wiping at her face from what I could tell.

  "Fuck. Jenna. Wait." I walked after her, only to be stopped by one of the guys from the first level.

  "Dude. We need you. Someone is freaking out on Zandra and I can't fucking find Fredrick."

  "Shit. Not this mess again." I turned and jogged behind the guy, pulling out my phone and texting Ashley to get to the club. We needed to talk.

  I let out a sigh of relief as I jogged down the stairs to the bottom floor and my phone dinged.

  Ashley: Talk? Fuck? Fight? I need all of it.

  Whatever. As long as she was headed to the club, Jenna would be safe.

  Chapter 20

  Jenna

  Fuck him. He wasn't at all the guy I thought he was, or maybe he was exactly who I thought he was.

  I pulled my phone from my purse and called Grace. She picked up on the first ring. Thank God.

  "Hey. Where are you? I haven't heard from you in a few days."

  "I'm leaving Kadia. I just got in a fight with Nate, and I need you. I hate to drag you in the middle of this bullshit, but I'm going over to Darek's. Can you come with me?"

  "Yeah. Sure." She sounded unsure.

  "Unless I'm interrupting something. Where are you?"

  "I'm still at the library." She yawned loudly.

  I got in the car and started it before buckling up. "What? I thought your shift ended at three on Thursdays."

  "It does, but I took a shift for one of the guys because Erik was holed up on the top floor, and
I wanted to stare at him a little bit longer."

  "Erik?"

  "The bad guy?" She snorted and laughed.

  "Oh, shit." I pursed my lips and headed toward the public library. "Can I just pick you up there? You off soon?"

  "Oh yeah. The place has been closed for an hour, but I told him he could stay until he was done."

  "Keep him there. Please."

  "What?" Grace's voice pinched tight.

  "Keep him there. I need his help. Maybe." I turned down one of the busier streets in downtown and cursed as Grace fumbled with her response.

  "How do I keep him here?" Her voice shook.

  "I don't know. Talk to him. Act like the fucking doors are locked. I need ten minutes to get there, Grace. I need to talk to him."

  "All right. Fine. I'll try. Hurry."

  I dropped the call and pounded on my horn as if the sound alone could clear the road. My heart ached in my chest over Nathaniel not wanting to help me. Or believe me.

  I was on my own. "What else is new?"

  The roads cleared a few minutes later and I breathed a sigh of relief and sped toward the library. The beautiful structure was lit up, looking like something majestic as I parked beside it and got out.

  I locked the car with my arm extended behind me as I jogged toward the door and used my free hand to pull my phone out. I texted Grace that I was there, and waited outside, pacing the floor in front of the main door.

  "Hey. Over here. The main doors are locked." She motioned for me to join her.

  "Hey. I'm sorry about this. I need to fill you in on everything." I jogged toward her and slipped into the warmth of the library. I hadn't realized how cold it was outside until we were walking through the halls toward the elevator.

  "All right, so, spill." She put her hands on her hips. "Have you been crying?"

  "Yes, but never mind that. I got a letter from Darek in the mail."

  Her eyes widened. "Explain."