“That’s what I’m talking about.” Rusty inclined his head toward the window. “If I was a young single man.”
“Which you aren’t.”
“You’re testy today,” Rusty pointed out.
Cord drew in a breath and reached for the ice water Mert had left. “I guess I am. There’s a lot going on around here.”
Rusty lost his smile at that. “Yes, son, there is. Something that should have drawn us all together, this celebration, has put some of us on different sides. Plus, this time capsule situation and whatever pushed someone to take it. But we haven’t lost our sense of community or our faith, have we?”
“No, Rusty, we haven’t. Because with everyone divided, they’re still pulling together and making this happen.”
“That’s right. And you’ve got a lot going on in your personal life. That’ll all work out, too.”
“I know it will. The important thing is making sure Marci feels secure.”
Rusty stopped for a minute as Mert placed plates of food in front of them. He poured a glob of ketchup on his burger and grinned at Cord.
“Doc says I should lay off red meat, it’s gonna kill me.” He chuckled as he took a big bite. After swallowing and then taking a drink of coffee, he shot Cord a look. “I guess it will eventually.”
Cord shook his head, laughing a little at the idea of red meat killing a ninety-something-year-old man. “Rusty, I’m glad I ran into you today.”
“That isn’t what you were thinking thirty minutes ago when I first caught up with you.”
Cord looked down, studying the burger on his plate. “Yeah, well, I was wrong.”
“That’s what I like to hear. A man who can admit when he’s wrong. Don’t worry, Cord, this month will be over soon. There will be about fifty ‘I dos’ and you’ll be able to take a deep breath.”
Right, at the end of the month, life would return to normal. He wanted to believe that but he knew better. Marci was talking about painting the room she’d claimed as her own. Katie was thinking about renting his store.
This was his new normal.
Chapter Twelve
On the way to church Wednesday evening, Katie ended up with Beth, the other sister-of-the-bride. As Katie had headed for her Jeep, Beth had called out, asking for a ride. Katie had waited for the woman to catch up and the two had headed out together, ahead of the rest of the crowd that had converged upon Shaw ranch.
The crowd was so large inside the house that Katie had felt somewhat claustrophobic and had spent most of the day in town making sure everything was ready for the wedding. She couldn’t help feeling a sense of pride. They’d pulled it off. The flowers, the cakes, the decorations, the reception.
“You’ve been busy since I’ve been gone.” Beth had left for about ten days. She lived in Billings and had a job at a bank.
“Yes, I’ve been helping put the wedding together.” Katie turned on the road right off Shaw Boulevard that led to the church. She’d been here long enough that she knew every road, every side street and every business. Not that there were many of them.
“Someone said you might stay?”
She didn’t want to make this announcement to Beth. “There’s a store in town for rent.”
“That would be exciting. I couldn’t imagine living in a town this size, no matter how gorgeous the ranchers who live here.”
Katie didn’t comment. She pulled into the church parking lot. It was dark and golden lights glowed from the windows. She had never had a church to call her own. She’d never really had a place she felt like she belonged to. But pulling into this parking lot felt a lot like coming home.
It felt good to be here.
She climbed out of the Jeep, not really meaning to ignore Beth. She had so much on her mind, so much to work through. And some things were becoming very clear. She walked with the other woman, who kept up a steady conversation about the wedding, her sister’s dress, the tent and how romantic it would be with the candlelit chandeliers.
Katie made appropriate comments. And then they were inside. She slipped out of her coat and hung it on a hook in the entry. Beth followed, still talking. Katie searched and finally spotted Marci talking to Faith Shaw. When Marci saw her, she raced down the aisle, all smiles.
“I have a catalog. Cord is letting me redecorate and he said I could show you the stuff I like.”
“How fun, Marci. Did you bring it with you?”
Marci shook her head. “No, it’s at the house. Maybe if you come out before the wedding we can look at it.”
“I’ll try. But if not, I’ll be by in a few days and we’ll pick out some great stuff.”
“Don’t break the bank.” A deep voice from behind her startled them both.
She spun to face Cord. “I didn’t see you here.”
“I was in the office with Ethan. It seems the entire town is circling, worried he’ll die old and alone. I commiserated since I’ve been in his shoes.”
“Gotcha,” she replied, but what else could she say? “Did you find another couple?”
That was the wrong thing to say.
“No, not yet. Maybe we can talk after church?”
As if on cue, the recorded bells began to play, the melodious sound ringing across the valley. Everyone paused to listen.
“It would be better if we had the real bells, don’t you think?” Cord asked. “I know they wouldn’t play a tune, but the simple ringing of bells, calling people to church.”
Faith walked up behind her brother. “Wow, you’re spiritual all of a sudden. What happened to the brother who attended church on holidays and when Mom could guilt you into coming?”
Faith glanced past her brother and smiled at Katie. The smile made assumptions, about Katie and Cord. The cornered look on Cord’s face meant he had noticed, too. Because she was helping him, they were being seen as a pair. Katie needed to take a step back, from Cord, from what felt like a friendship she wouldn’t want to lose. Because a man like Cord, a man wanting to stay committed to a child he was raising and her grandmother, wasn’t looking for more than friendship. He needed her help and she’d been willing, but she couldn’t be more. He wasn’t looking for more. And she deserved more. For a couple of weeks she’d nearly brushed aside that commitment she’d made to herself last year, but the trip to Missoula had helped her remember. She didn’t want to do this again. She didn’t want to chase a man, hoping he’d be the right one, wanting to make him the right one.
Cord’s voice pulled Katie back to her surroundings. “I never stopped believing, Faith. I just... I think we’ve had this conversation.”
Faith arched an eyebrow and smiled. “Yes, we have. I just wondered what changed that you’re suddenly here every time the doors open.”
“Katie, if we can talk after church?” he asked, brushing off the comments made by his sister.
She barely nodded before he shot his sister a deadly glare and walked off, Marci on his heels.
Faith looked a little bit sorry as she led Katie to an empty seat. “I shouldn’t have been so hard on him.”
What did Katie say to that? She could tell Faith that three weeks didn’t make Katie an expert on Cord Shaw. She could say that in a matter of days she would no longer be living at Shaw ranch and so it really wasn’t, had never been, any of her business.
“We’ve kind of pulled you into our lives, haven’t we?” Faith continued as if Katie had answered.
Katie couldn’t help the turn of her lips. “Yes, just a little. Do you do this to everyone?”
“Only the people we really like. Which is you. And I’m so excited that you might stay and open a store. You are staying, aren’t you?”
“I think I might.” She still hadn’t told anyone. Why not start with Faith. “I quit my job while I was in Missoula. So it’s either here or
somewhere else. I really need to slow down, though, and make sure I’m making the right decision.”
“I vote for here. I hate having to drive so far away to shop for something decent to wear.”
“Aren’t you in Bozeman quite often, playing in the symphony?” Katie knew that Faith was extremely talented. And perhaps not the most confident of Shaws. In some ways, she thought the two of them might be the most alike.
“Yes, but I don’t enjoy shopping, and I really don’t enjoy the city. I love life here in Jasper Gulch and on the ranch. So, if I could shop here and not have to trudge through the malls of Bozeman, I would be so happy.”
“I understand. Well, I don’t, really, because I love to shop.”
They both laughed but then started moving forward. People were taking their seats. Faith reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “Promise me you won’t hurt my brother.”
Katie sat in stunned silence for a moment. “Faith...”
What did she say to that?
Faith’s fair skin turned a little pink, highlighting the sprinkling of freckles across her nose. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. He’s my brother and he’s seen me through some hard times. I want him to be happy.”
“I’m not sure...” What to say, she thought.
Faith let go of her hand. “You don’t have to say anything. I know my brother, and I know that he’s smiled and laughed more in three weeks than he has in years.”
“I don’t think that’s because of me.”
Fortunately the music started to play. At the last second Faith leaned close and said, “I do.”
Those were the last words Katie wanted to hear. “I do.” With all the wedding preparations, they had become too significant. She didn’t want to hurt Cord. She also didn’t want to be hurt. And he could hurt her. Cord put so much of himself into the people he was committed to. Did he have room in his heart or his life for a woman, for a relationship?
It shouldn’t matter, she told herself. She hadn’t come here looking for a man. She hadn’t even planned to rent this store or move here. But moving here meant day in and day out of Cord, of talking to Cord, seeing him, hearing about him.
And someday, when he realized he could juggle a relationship and Marci, when he realized a woman could love both him and the child he cared about, where would that leave Katie? As the best friend in waiting?
Maybe she should rethink the building before her heart was broken, this time in a way that she couldn’t comprehend. In the past it had been crumpled, somewhat bruised, but never really broken. Cord Shaw could truly break her heart.
* * *
Cord sat at the back of the church. When the service ended, he couldn’t say he’d had any big revelations. But he had found peace. He’d been angry for a lot of years. Angry with God for what happened to Angie, Marci’s mother. Angry because Susan had left him. Angry with his best friend.
Anger had nearly eaten him alive. It had kept him bottled up inside himself. But the anger was misplaced. He’d been battling people and believing he’d been wronged.
But maybe the best thing that had happened to him was Susan leaving. He’d known before she left that they weren’t right together. He looked back now at what would have been nearly six years with the wrong woman. Why in the world was he mad that she’d left and spared them both that heartache?
The service ended and he met Katie coming down the aisle. She didn’t see him at first. He watched her, with her red hair pulled back in its customary clip. She wore a brown sweater, a multicolored scarf, jeans and boots. When she saw him, she smiled and it wasn’t so bad, to think that smile was for him and only him.
“I didn’t see you,” she said.
“I noticed you were in another world. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’m excited about the wedding. And excited to get it over with.”
He looked around at the groups and at people leaving, “Have you seen Marci since church ended?”
“She’s with Julie, telling her about her plans for her new room.”
Oh, he knew. “Yes, she’s going to redecorate. She wants rustic but she says she needs kid rustic.”
“She is a preteen.”
Yes, she was. “Do you have a few minutes?”
“Of course,” she said, but she looked suspicious.
“It’s about the wedding,” he added. He believed in full disclosure.
“Ah,” she said.
But she walked with him toward the exit. He spotted Julie and held up a finger. She understood and nodded.
They walked down the steps and headed up the sidewalk away from the church.
“No fiftieth couple yet?” Katie asked as they walked.
“No. I even considered having a couple renew their vows. I tried my folks, and my dad said getting married once is enough.”
“I’m really sorry.”
They continued to walk away from the crowds, away from the lights. The night was cold and he heard her sniffle. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, causing a shift in his heart he was coming to recognize. This woman had changed everything. Her laughter, her willingness to care, it all merged to wrap him up in something he wasn’t quite ready to put a name on. It was easier to call it attraction. He was definitely attracted to her.
What else could he say? He’d been engaged twice to women he thought he’d spend the rest of his life with. Women he thought he loved, and he thought they’d felt the same for him. He remembered what she’d said days ago when he told her about those engagements, that he’d dodged the bullet. Twice.
Maybe he’d dodged bullets and instead of spending his life avoiding relationships he should be thankful for the chance to someday find the right woman.
At the end of the sidewalk, they stopped. She glanced back at the church and then up at him.
“Well?” she asked, her voice hesitant.
“Katie, would you marry me on Saturday?” He smiled as he said it. “I’ve tried everyone. If we don’t have a hundred people, the deal is off. No records are broken, the media doesn’t care and the couples probably will back out.”
“That was very romantic. I nearly swooned.”
He saw the humor in the situation and laughed, but his laughter faded as he looked down at the woman staring up at him, lips slightly parted, jewel-colored eyes glistening in the cold.
“I could get down on one knee, if you’d like.”
“Please don’t, that would be embarrassing. Both the situation and you stuck there as I walk off.” Her gloved hand reached for his. “I can’t take vows that aren’t real, Cord.”
“We won’t take them then,” he promised as he saw an opening. “We’ll walk up. When they say the vows, we won’t.”
“I can’t lie to family and friends. I can’t lie to your family.”
“Katie, we’ll tell our families. I’m not trying to trick anyone. I’m just trying to keep this event from falling apart and I’m out of ideas.”
“I’m a last resort?” She said it in a voice that didn’t waver, but he heard the sadness and that was the last thing he wanted to do to her.
“No, Katie, you’re the only one I would ask. I’m not looking for a bride to walk down the aisle with me, but if I was, and since I do need—” He stopped because he was making a real mess of things.
Behind them, people were leaving the church. Cars and trucks were pulling onto the road, headlights flashing in the darkness. She shivered in her jacket and looked up at him.
“There are other women in this town, Cord. There are people you’ve known your whole life. Why would you pick me?”
That was a question he’d been asking himself for a few days. Why was it that every time he thought about a couple walking down the aisle at this wedding, he pictured the two o
f them? Because she was there, convenient and helpful? She wouldn’t expect anything other than his friendship? That wasn’t fair. That put her back in the very box of willing friend that he knew she wanted to avoid. He understood her. He understood her fears, her desires. She wanted to be well and truly loved before she gave her heart because she’d given it too many times in hopes that someone would love her back.
He didn’t want to be another man who hurt her.
“I trust you.” His simple answer brought a smile to her lips.
“I trust you, too.” She brushed her fingers across his cheek and he turned, kissing the tips of those gloved fingers. He heard her indrawn breath as his mouth stilled on her hand, and he felt a strange pleasure that she had that reaction to him. Slowly she withdrew her hand.
And then she nodded.
“You’ll do it?” He would be real embarrassed if he sounded breathless.
“I’ll do it. I...” She shook her head. “As much as I know better, I’ll do this for you.”
She started to walk off, but he reached for her hand and stopped her escape. “I understand that this is asking a lot.”
Her back was to him and he wanted to wrap his arms around her and nuzzle her neck. And that was the problem. When Katie was around, his thoughts turned to holding her, to keeping her next to him. He could have told her that and made it all better. But he couldn’t. As much as he trusted her as a friend, he couldn’t give more. Not now, when Marci’s heart was on the line, too. Marci, who was depending on him for stability, for happiness.
“Cord, let’s not talk about it. I’d rather just say yes and not have this conversation about you understanding.”
“But I do.”
She spun so quickly she nearly lost her footing. “If you understood, you wouldn’t ask me to do this.”
But he did. And yet he had asked. “I’m sorry. And you’re right. I shouldn’t have. I’m sure there is someone else I could ask.”
She pointed a finger at his chest. “But why not ask Katie, she’s easy to get along with and she’ll do anything to help you. Right?”
His Montana Bride Page 14