“Not exactly,” he said, hoping to say at least one right thing before they parted for the evening.
Finally she spoke, softly. “Marci is waiting for you.”
“Kate, I’ll find someone else.”
She shook her head. “My name isn’t Kate.”
He brushed a hand down her cheek, pushing a stray tendril of hair behind her ear. She shivered beneath his touch. “I think you’re Kate. Katie is the girl you were. Kate is the woman I admire.”
“So Katie is the girl who always plays the supporting actress. The best friend, sister’s helper, fun to take to a party but she never gets the leading role.”
The best man at the wedding. Her sister’s shadow. He understood because he knew her. And he knew she was so much more than that role she’d allowed herself to fill.
“Kate, you’re more than that. If this hurts because you think I’m taking advantage of our friendship, I don’t want you to do it.”
“I’ll need a dress. And a bridesmaid. I think Marci would be good. But then Gwen will need a bridesmaid. And you’ll need a best man. Maybe Adam.”
“Katie,” he started.
She stopped him, poking her finger into his chest. “I’m Kate. I’m a woman who is doing what she wants for a friend, not Katie who is being coerced.”
“Thank you.” He leaned and slowly settled his lips against hers. It was biting cold, but their lips together were warm. “Thank you,” he whispered.
For so much more than agreeing to this plan.
“Is there something going on that I should know about?”
Cord raised his head and glared at his sister. “You should know that you’re hard to get along with.”
Julie laughed at that. “Right, well, Marci is over there wondering where the two of you will go on the honeymoon and if she gets to go with you. So you might want to take things down a notch before Ethan marches you inside and makes this official.”
“We’re sealing the deal,” Katie offered with a smirk.
“The deal?” Julie looked from Katie to Cord.
“We’re going to be the fiftieth couple,” Cord offered and then waited.
Julie choked. She blinked and shook her head. And then she gasped. “You what?”
Yes, it was as good as he thought it would be. Next to him, Katie laughed and reached for his hand.
“It won’t be real,” Katie explained. “There has to be fifty couples and we’re going to be that couple. But we won’t really take the vows. We won’t have a marriage license. We’re stand-ins.”
Julie’s eyes narrowed on him, her brother. “So you’re going to get married but not really mean it? As opposed to Dorie and Susan—”
He cut her off. “You know, let’s just leave it at that, problem solved. Wedding saved.”
“I’m not sure, but if the two of you think this is a good idea...” Julie shot a cautious look in Katie’s direction and Cord followed, noticing the slightly lost look on her face that was quickly replaced by a smile. Julie started to say something else. Fortunately, she was distracted by Marci hurrying down the sidewalk in their direction.
Katie looked at him. “You have to tell Marci. She has to know because she can’t think...”
That it was real. He got it.
“Are you two almost finished?” Marci asked. “I have school tomorrow.”
“Yes, we’re finished.”
“And? What’s up?” The preteen sounded way too old to his ears.
“Katie and I are going to be the fiftieth couple at the wedding Saturday.”
Marci immediately squealed and started jumping up and down. Katie stopped her with a firm hand on the shoulder. “We aren’t really getting married.”
The bouncing stopped. “You aren’t?”
Katie shook her head. “No. We’re filling a place so that the wedding can go on.”
“Oh, I see.” To Cord, it was obvious she didn’t see.
Katie smiled at the girl and then at him. “I should go and you can explain. Tomorrow I’ll get a dress.”
Not the dress she’d always wanted to wear, he thought. And he knew it would hurt. He knew walking down the aisle as the best man for a man she’d thought herself in love with had hurt her. He knew walking down the aisle with him, not a bridesmaid but not a bride, would hurt. And he wondered if she could really do it.
“It’ll be beautiful,” he offered.
“Yes, beautiful.”
And then she was gone. Marci stood in front of him, arms crossed in front of her and her mouth quirked into a disapproving line. He searched over her head for Julie, but Julie was getting into her old truck, slamming the door twice to get it to latch.
“What?” he asked.
“You’re not as smart as I thought.”
“What does that mean?” He hit the remote on his truck and pointed. “Get in.”
“I’m going, but I’m telling you, you aren’t smart.”
On the way back to his place, he glanced at Marci. “What did I do wrong?”
“I think you know and if you don’t, you have to figure it out on your own.”
“I’m trying to figure it out.”
“Right, and I’m a kid so I can’t always tell you everything or you’ll never get it on your own.”
“Okay, fine.” Was he really having this conversation? What happened to the man he’d been a month ago? The man who had it all figured out. Or maybe he didn’t have it figured out and he did need an eleven-year-old to point things out to him. “Marci, Katie and I are friends. She doesn’t mind helping me.”
“You are a horrible judge of people. By the way, in case you miss this, I want to be adopted by you. And I’d like to be Marci Shaw.”
“We’re going to work on that. Can you give me a break? I did get you a kitten.”
“Yeah, that’s true. And I’m trying to help you get me a mom.”
He choked and she reached to pat him on the back. “You had to know that was coming.”
He shook his head and tried to form words, but the words didn’t come. A lot of thoughts did, though. Thoughts of walking down the aisle with Katie. Thoughts of kissing a bride who wasn’t really his bride.
He’d probably just made the biggest mistake of his life.
Chapter Thirteen
“Why are we going to Ennis?” Gwen sat next to Katie in the car. They’d left Jeffrey to go fly-fishing with Adam and Austin Shaw.
Katie didn’t quite know how to answer her sister. She’d tried last night when she got home from church. Gwen had been in their room reading a book. Katie had settled on the bed and tried to think of a way to explain the fake marriage. It wasn’t as much about not wanting to tell as it was about how much it hurt.
And it shouldn’t hurt.
“Katie?”
“Kate. I’m Kate now.”
Gwen studied her and then nodded. “Okay, Kate, what’s up?”
“We’re going to Ennis so you can help me pick a wedding dress. And then you’ll have to call a friend and see if you can get a new bridesmaid. If you can’t, I’m sure I can come up with one.”
“Wait, back up. Let’s take this one thing at a time because you’re really making me a little nervous. First, a wedding dress?”
Katie blinked because she wasn’t going to cry. “You know that we had one couple leave. To really make this wedding a record-breaking event, newsworthy, they need those fifty couples.”
“So you’re getting married just to make that fiftieth couple. Really?”
“I’m not really getting married. Cord and I...”
Gwen held up a hand to stop her. “So Cord Shaw has something to do with this, of course. And is that why I’m calling you Kate?”
She nodded and one tear did trickl
e down her cheek. She swiped it away. “Yes and yes. I’m doing it because I care about this town and what happens to it, Gwen. Not just for Cord or because he asked. I thought about this last night and honestly, I could have said no. It wasn’t about feeling as if I have to do this to keep his friendship. I did it out of friendship, but I am also doing this for a town that feels more like home than anyplace I’ve ever lived.”
“Okay.” Gwen was silent for a long time after that.
Katie drove to Ennis and followed directions to the shop that was supplying dresses for the wedding. She parked and the two of them got out and walked up to the store.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Gwen asked as they stepped through the door. A bell jangled and someone in the back called out that it would be a minute.
“I’m sure.”
“Have you decided to stay in Jasper Gulch?”
“I’ve been praying about that.” Katie looked at her sister with that statement that was so out of character for her, for their family. “I’m going to get the wedding over and then make the final decision. But I think I might.”
“Have you told Mom and Dad?”
“About which, the wedding or staying?”
“Both.”
Katie flipped through the book of dresses on the counter. “Yes. I called this morning to tell them about the wedding and my part in it. I’ve also told them about staying.”
Gwen smiled as she stood next to her. “And they were thrilled.”
“Supportive as always. They said that I’m making a big mistake, giving up a job that gave me stability and grounded me, and that this is just me being flighty.”
“You aren’t flighty. I know you’ve given this a lot of thought.”
“I really have. I’m also considering a side job. As a wedding coordinator.” A job she could do anywhere. She liked that idea. She loved the idea of giving brides the wedding of their dreams. The weddings of her dreams.
“You would be amazing, Katie. Kate.”
Katie smiled at her sister’s attempt. “Thank you for that.”
They stopped at vintage dresses and looked over the photos. “Kate, wear Eva’s dress.”
Eva, their great-grandmother. Katie glanced at her sister. “What?”
“You have always wanted to wear that dress. I knew that, but then I heard about this wedding and it was vintage. I took over and I took something you wanted.”
Katie didn’t know what to say. She paused on one dress and stared at it, not really seeing. Gwen’s hand rested on her arm.
“No,” Katie finally answered. “You are really getting married. I’m taking part in a faux marriage. The dress should have a real wedding, one with real vows and real love.”
“The dress should be worn by someone who really loves it.”
Katie had to agree, but the other obstacles blocked her from agreeing. She shook her head and then the proprietor of the store walked through swinging doors that separated the front of the store from the back. The woman, a pretty blonde named Eileen, smiled in recognition.
“Katie, what brings you in today?”
“I need a dress. For the wedding.”
Eileen glanced from Katie to Gwen. “But, Gwen, didn’t we take care of...”
Gwen shook her head. “Not my dress. Hers.”
“You’re getting married?” Eileen clasped her hands together. “At the Jasper Gulch ceremony?”
She nodded, unable to tell this really kind woman that it wasn’t a real wedding. Katie had been a bridesmaid three times, a best man once and now she would be a bride. But not really. She didn’t want to cry so she nodded and pointed to the dress she’d found.
“This one.”
“But why not...”
Gwen shook her head and pointed. “This one.”
Eileen looked confused. Katie didn’t know why she needed to look confused. It was very simple. She, Katie Archer, Kate, was getting married and she needed a dress. “I really like this one. If you have it or can get it in my size.”
“I think I can. Why don’t you come back and we’ll try it on you. Do you want a veil or something else?”
Katie shook her head. Wearing a veil would make it seem too real. She didn’t want it to feel real because then it would hurt too much. She needed to be able to distance herself from the emotions of the wedding. She couldn’t feel like a bride. She couldn’t allow herself to believe in fairy tales.
She followed Eileen through the swinging doors and Gwen went with them. Her sister touched her back, a comforting gesture. Katie blinked and cleared her vision, but she couldn’t swallow past the tightness in her throat.
Eileen, trim, neat and professional with her swinging chestnut hair, pushed through the gowns on a rack. Finally she pulled one out, her eyes lit up with happiness. “I have it.”
Katie took the satiny gown from the other woman. “I should try it on.”
“You definitely should. I can’t wait to see it on you.”
Katie stepped into the changing room and as she pulled the heavy curtain, she allowed the tears to fall. She sobbed silently into her hands and told herself this had to be the worst mistake of her life. All the other times paled in comparison.
Because she loved Cord Shaw. She loved his wit, his heart, his strength. She wouldn’t give him her heart just to try to convince him to love her in return. But how could she ever walk down the aisle, join him at the front of that tent before a God she was just getting to know, and pretend she didn’t care?
“Katie, are you okay?” Gwen’s voice was soft outside the curtain. “Eileen is taking a call. Look, you don’t have to do this to yourself.”
She nodded because it was hard to form the words. Not for Cord but for Jasper Gulch. “I’m fine. I know I don’t have to.”
“Are you fine?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Katie. Kate...”
“I’m trying on the dress, Gwen.” She pulled herself together and moments later walked out of the dressing room in the satin gown with the layer skirt and the crisscross bodice.
Eileen walked back into the room. “Oh, Katie, that’s beautiful on you. So many brides try to find the dress they want without thinking if it will suit their body type. You picked the perfect dress. It’s absolutely gorgeous on you. The groom will drop to his knees when he sees you.”
Katie highly doubted that. And if he did, she thought, he wouldn’t be able to get back up. She smiled a little and felt better.
Gwen pushed her toward the full-length mirror. “Look.”
“I’m looking.” Katie looked in the mirror and her heart tore into little pieces. This moment should have been reserved for a real dress, a real wedding. This sense of wonder, seeing herself in a white gown, imagining her hair up, flowers in her hands, a man at her side looking at her as if she was the only woman in the world.
It should have been real. She wanted it to be real. She turned to the left and then the right, taking in the draping lines of the dress.
“It is beautiful.”
Eileen stepped forward. “You’re slim and we’ll need to take it in a little.”
She nodded in agreement. “Yes, thank you. But is it going to be possible to have it Saturday?”
“Of course.” Eileen straightened the skirt, pulled a little on the shoulders and smiled. “Yes, perfect.”
Katie allowed herself to agree with Eileen. After all, that’s what a bride would do. She would glow as she accepted compliments. She might act a little giddy as she picked shoes and jewelry.
When Katie left the dress shop she managed a smile for Eileen...but she felt empty inside.
* * *
Cord kept the young gelding in an easy lope around the arena, holding him steady even though the horse wanted to take the
bit in his mouth and run. They’d had a rocky start that morning and even though he wouldn’t let his guard down, Cord was pleased. This animal was sired by Cord’s best stallion and out of a mare belonging to Faith.
They might have hit on something pretty decent with the match.
A car heading his way caught his attention. He reined in the horse and turned him toward the barn. He pushed his hat down to shade his eyes and focused on the trail of dust and then the Jeep tearing its way toward the gate. The horse beneath him sidestepped a few times and Cord tightened his control, keeping the pressure of his legs on the horse’s sides.
“Settle.”
Black ears twitched and the horse shook his head. Cord swung off, pulled the reins over the horse’s head and led him to the barn. He had just pulled off the saddle and reached for a brush when Katie walked through the door.
“Kate?”
She didn’t flinch at the name, didn’t question him or ask him to stop. Instead, she overturned a five-gallon bucket and sat down to watch him work. He shrugged off her silence and brushed the horse, letting the animal push into his hand a little more than he would normally let him get away with.
Finally he pushed back, forcing the horse to stand.
Katie finally spoke. “He’s beautiful.” Cord smiled at her from over the back of the horse.
“Thank you. We’re kind of proud of him. What are you up to today?”
Katie watched him as he tossed the brush back in the bucket and untied the horse from the cross ties. He led the animal to a stall, filled up a bucket with grain and closed the door. Katie was still watching him. He noticed the lost look in her expression and he wanted to tell her everything would work out.
“I don’t know if I can do this.” She shrugged as she admitted her fears.
“I know.” He reached for her hand and she stood. “I shouldn’t have asked. I have to admit, I have doubts about it being the best plan.”
“You were out of options. I know that. It isn’t about being used, Cord. You’re a friend, but...” She shook her head. “I keep picturing myself walking down the aisle, standing next to you, wearing a dress that is beautiful. And it isn’t real. So when I do, if I do get married someday, it will be second best. It will be something I’ve already done. With you.”
His Montana Bride Page 15