Reclaiming Us

by Richard, Nicole

  “Okay.” Her voice was a sweet whisper.

  We stood there motionless, not a sound surrounded us or even in the distance. Addie stood patiently and held my hand tightly, waiting and giving me the time I needed. I mentally went through all the things I could or would want to say to Ty, but the only thing I felt was void. He wasn’t there.

  After a stretch of time, Addie stepped forward and placed the small bunch of spring flowers she had been carrying at the base of his headstone and brushed her fingers across his name.

  The second she dropped her hand, I got a good look at the inscription in the stone, and I choked. I clasped my hands together and pressed them against my forehead, needing a second to gather myself. Blowing out a harsh breath, I crouched down next to Addie. She hung her head, trying to hide the tears running down her cheeks, but I saw them. Ty was her friend, too.

  “Hey, it’s okay.” Addie sniffled, and I pulled her closer to my side where we both lost our balance, falling back on our asses.

  “I thought . . .” She sniffled again, “that I would be okay, but his name . . .” She turned her face into my chest and cried softly.

  Ty’s death had affected all of us in our own way. Having each other to lean on was the only way I could think of that would help any of us through the grieving process. “It breaks my heart to see his name engraved in the stone.”

  “I know, babe. I know.”

  We sat there in each other’s arms for a short while, neither of us needing to speak.

  Addie’s sad whimpers slowed, and she finally sat up and looked at me, trying to hide her sadness with a smile. “Remember all the crazy shit we used to do?”

  I answered, nodding and giving her a half-grin.

  “The four of us were inseparable. We were supposed to get married and raise our kids together.” Addie laughed and cried at the same time as her eyes darted to his headstone. “Have you checked on Lilly?” She wiped her eyes and then her nose on her sweater sleeve.

  “I haven’t.” I shook my head, cursing myself for being such an asshole for forgetting about Lilly. Again.

  “You haven’t what about Lilly?”

  Addie and I looked behind us to find Lilly standing there with a bouquet of flowers hanging loosely in her right hand.

  “Hey, Lilly.” I pulled myself up and dusted my jeans before pulling her into a hug. “How are you? I’m sorry I haven’t called or checked on you,” I whispered before I pulled away.

  “Don’t worry about it.” I wanted to believe her, but the look in her eyes gave away how hurt she was. “I came to say good‑bye.” Then Lilly’s eyes shifted to Addie before coming back to mine. “I’m heading back to Lakeland—”

  “Why?” I blurted out.

  “I’ll leave you two alone.” Addie began walking away, but Lilly grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

  “RJ, why don’t you give us a minute?” I nodded but then looked to Addie, making sure she would be okay. When she barely nodded, I gave her hand a squeeze before walking back to my truck.

  Lilly’s hand touched my wrist, and my heart tumbled to my stomach. She looked sad and tired, and I wouldn’t blame her if she cursed me to hell for the way I treated her that morning she opened RJ’s front door.

  The last time we spoke, it was a train wreck. No apologies had been offered, and no forgiveness had been traded. I had no idea what my once best friend would want to say to me, so I stayed quiet as she laid the flowers next to the bouquet I set down earlier. It hurt to watch as she ran her fingers across Tyler’s name. She should have what I found. She should be with the man she’d loved since we were basically kids, but she would never see him again. Never have her second chance. This was where it all ended for Tyler and Lilly, and it broke my heart to shreds thinking of all she lost.

  “Are you two back together?” She gestured her chin toward RJ’s truck.

  I looked away as I nodded.

  “Good. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.” My eyes carefully met hers. I didn’t know what to say that wouldn’t remind her of her own loss. “He loves you too damn much to be with anyone else.” She gave me a lazy grin. “He never got over you. That promise the two of you made? No matter what a shithead he was, not once did he break it.”

  “He told me,” I answered shakily, my nerves getting the better of me. I hadn’t doubted him when he told me the same thing, but it was nice hearing it from someone else.

  “You two are lucky to get this second chance. What I would give—” Lilly turned away just as a sob broke her voice.

  “Lilly?” I whispered.

  “Yeah?” She turned to me and tried to put a smile on her face despite the tears.

  “I am so sorry for the things I assumed and said that morning—”

  She held her palm up. “I know you are.” She half‑smiled, took a deep breath, and grabbed my hand. “I know you, and I know deep down you could never mean any of that bullshit you were thinking.”

  I stared at her for a few seconds, thankful for her understanding.

  “Dammit, Lilly . . .” I yanked her into a hug and squeezed her tight. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. For all of it—for staying away so long, Tyler, for being an idiot . . . all of it.” I cried and laughed as we put the pieces of our friendship back together.

  “Me, too. Me, too.” We hugged a little longer, and only after the tears were dry did we separate.

  “He promised me forever. I have no idea what I’m going to do without him, but I do know that I need to get the hell out of here. My family are driving me insane.”

  “Is that why you’re going to Lakeland? Is that home now? You’re more than welcome to come and stay with me.”

  “Lakeland has been home for a few years now. It’s the last place Tyler was stationed. Thank you for the offer, but I really need to leave Savannah for a while. I’m going back home to see how I can put the pieces back together. I’m tired of my family voicing their opinions about what’s best for me. None of them have experienced loss on this level. They have no fucking idea what it feels like to lose the other half of their soul.”

  Lilly’s words hit hard. In a strange way, I knew exactly how she felt. RJ may still be alive, but losing the baby and temporarily losing him will always be a scar on my heart.

  “If there’s anything I can do to help,” I offered, knowing she would decline.

  “Thanks, but I’ll be okay.”

  “If you need someone or if you ever need to talk, I’m a phone call away. If you ever need a place to stay, my door is always open.” I wrapped my arms around her and gave her a side hug. “You’re my best friend. It doesn’t matter that we lost touch for a while, I will always love you.”

  “Thanks. I love you, too.” Lilly sniffled and tried to laugh when she realized she was getting emotional again. “You think I could have a few minutes with him?” She tilted her head to Tyler’s grave.

  “Of course, I’ll tell RJ to hang out a bit. I’m sure he’ll want to say good‑bye before you leave.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it.”

  I made my way back to RJ’s truck. He pushed the door open, and I hopped in. By the worry lines on his forehead and the way he gnawed at his bottom lip, I knew he wanted to know what we said, so I saved him from having to ask. “We’re good, everything’s good.”

  “Yeah?” He nodded, his eyebrows rising as if he didn’t think I was being completely honest.

  “Yes.” I smiled. “She wanted a few minutes.” I glanced out the window to where Lilly stood. “And I told her we would wait so she could say good‑bye.”

  “Okay.” RJ pulled me closer, and I watched Lilly through the window, my heart breaking a little more with every second that passed. I knew she was crying again, and when she bent over his gravestone, her body shaking with wracking sobs, I wanted to get out and go to her. To tell her that it wasn’t fair that Ty was gone and to rage with her over the injustice of it all.

  “She’s strong. Sooner or later, she’ll be okay. Probably not ye
t, but one day, she will.” RJ kissed my temple.

  I knew he was right, I had no idea how long it would take. It was hard to tell with Lilly. She hid her pain well. She would shed the minimal amount of tears necessary for people to believe she was coping normally and say what people wanted to hear. I knew her, though, and if I read the 7 Stages of Grief correctly, I would have said she was still in denial. I hoped that, as she passed through each stage, she would have someone there to help her cope.

  RJ: how much longer?

  RJ: you know I’m hungry.

  I laughed at his impatience.

  ME: I ordered the pizza. Leaving in 5 minutes.

  RJ: I wasn’t talking about the pizza, babe. ;)

  RJ: Hurry. I’m starrrrving.

  I shook my head, laughing harder and tucking my phone into my purse. If I didn’t, we’d be there all night, going back and forth and upping the sexual innuendos. In the three weeks since he and I got back together, it had been like that. A constant need, want, love, and lust.

  Earlier in the day, we decided I would spend the night at RJ’s . . . again. When he said he wasn’t letting me go, it was in the literal sense. This last time we woke up together, which was this morning, he dramatically admitted to never being able to sleep without me again. The jury was still out on whose bed to sleep in most nights, but there really was no question. He had the bigger bed, after all.

  It took me roughly twenty minutes to grab the pizza and make it to RJ’s house. I let myself in with the key he had given me, set my things down, and called, “Babe, I’m here.”

  “In the kitchen.”

  Pizza in hand, I made it to the kitchen only to find RJ in a relaxed stance with his back to the sink. Seeing him with one leg crossed over the other shirtless and drinking a beer had me sliding the pizza box onto the counter and debating my options: dinner or him.

  On a normal day, RJ was sexy as hell, but when he was barefoot, shirtless, and smiling, he was downright lethal for my hormones.

  “Normally, I’m a patient man,” he said, his eyes trailing me from head to toe.

  “I got here five minutes faster than I normally do.”

  He nodded. “But when it comes to you . . .” He set his beer down, and I stepped close to him, wrapping my arms around his waist.

  “Hi.” I placed a soft kiss in the middle of his chest, smiling against the warmth I found there.

  “Hi,” he replied, making me tingle all over. Gently grabbing my face in his hands, he lifted my chin, bringing my lips to his. “Hmm . . .” He hummed into my mouth and stole my breath away. Each time his lips were on mine, he put a spell on me, leaving me to pull myself out of a lust‑induced fog.

  I broke the kiss and took a couple steps back, needing to get my bearings. A feat that was almost impossible as RJ moved with me, reached around my body, and grabbed the pizza box. He turned, my eyes fixed on the ripple of muscle in his shoulders, and he put the pizza in the fridge. I felt my eyebrows pull down in confusion. That wasn’t at all what I expected.

  “Why are you putting the pizza in the fridge? Aren’t you hungry?” He just shook his head, shut the refrigerator door, and closed in on me while his eyes assessed my body.

  “There’s something else I want first.” He stepped closer, then turned my body, and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me against his chest. “I want you, the pizza can wait.” His voice was low and husky, which made my body tremble as his warm breath caressed the side of my neck.

  My eyes closed, and anticipation hummed through my veins, tuning into the sensations erupting all over me. RJ sank his free hand into my hair, bunching it between his fingers and gently tugging my head forward. When his mouth hit my exposed flesh, it was hot and demanding as it moved from my nape to the sensitive spot below my ear.

  “RJ . . .”

  “Hmm, babe.” He pulled me harder into his chest, his erection evident against the small of my back. I pushed back into him and he groaned. “In the bedroom or on the counter—your choice. Make it quick, though.”

  I couldn’t choose.

  RJ slid his hand under my skirt and yanked at my panties. A warning, obviously, he wasn’t kidding about my having to make the choice quickly.

  “What’s it gonna be?” he asked as he nipped at my shoulder and pressed his cock against me again. “Tell me . . . I can’t hang on much longer.” His deep voice vibrated through me. His fingers made their way into the front of my panties, where he massaged, teasing me, igniting that delicious burn.

  “Here.” I was overheating. Desperate. My breathing came out in short pants, my eyes closed, and my nipples ached as they scraped against the lace of my bra. Without any more provocation, I pulled my top off and unhooked the front clasps. I grabbed RJ’s hand and guided it to my chest. “Touch me, please.” My words burned red hot as he thumbed my nipples. I shoved back into him and bent to rest my head atop my arms on the granite counter.

  In only a matter of seconds, I, too, was barely hanging on by a thread—mindless and needy as I pushed against him.

  Biting down with enough pressure to make my shoulder sting, he stammered, “Fuck, babe,” and his body heat was gone.

  I barely managed to tilt my head enough so I could look over my shoulder. RJ had his eyes on me as he worked the button and zipper of his jeans. Keeping my eyes fixed on his hard and unforgiving muscles, I dug my thumbs into the waist of my skirt and panties and slid them down my thighs, not caring about the cool air or even cooler counter against my skin.

  His hungry, impatient eyes watched me as I kicked the fabric away, and he lowered himself to the floor, purposefully stroking his cock. “Fuck the counter, babe, I want you on top. I need to see you let go and come all over my cock.” His voice was gravelly with need. A slow smile crept up my cheeks. I wanted that, too.

  Intoxicated on a surge of lust, I licked my lips and slowly lowered myself to straddle his waist. I had every intention of taking this slow, teasing and taunting his body the same way he did to mine. It was my turn to witness his unraveling.

  “Babe.” RJ growled then grabbed my hips, warning me I didn’t stand a chance. His eyes challenged mine, demanding I not tease him. We both knew he was the master of my body and knew exactly how to give it the pleasure it craved, but I wanted to play, too.

  The muscle in his neck tensed, his telltale sign he was about to snap, so I gave a little.

  “Let me have a taste first.” He pulled me closer while shifting his body down a bit. When his warm mouth made contact with my folds, I reached back, bracing myself against the onslaught of sensation.

  He slid his arms under my thighs, grabbed onto my ass, and pinned me to him. Eagerly laving his tongue over me and sucking, groaning, feasting on my swollen flesh as he depleted every last morsel of energy I owned. This was a talent only RJ held.

  Rolling my hips, focusing on the pressure escalating between my thighs, I begged him to never stop his delicious assault. He didn’t, and when he sucked my clit into his mouth, a rolling pleasure that reached every inch of me washed away my words.

  “Up,” he ordered, but I didn’t know how I would ever stand again. My legs were useless, and my whole body hummed with aftershocks. Thankfully, he lifted me, saving me from figuring out how I was going to climb to my feet, and tossed me over his shoulder. “I need my bed for what I want to do this delicious body.”

  I didn’t care where he took me. I was too busy watching the way his ass muscles flexed when he walked. Unable to help myself, I reached down and massaged his firm cheeks. “You have one of the nicest asses I’ve ever seen.”

  RJ spanked my ass hard enough to sting but not hurt, and I yelped in surprise. “Well, how many asses have you seen?” He chuckled. “But it’s nowhere as sexy as this pretty little ass.”

  Without warning, he tossed me onto the bed, where I bounced and couldn’t help but laugh. It was when our eyes locked that all playfulness was pushed aside and my heart beat madly. God, I wanted him.

  “Whenever
your eyes darken like sapphires, I have half a mind to play out those naughty fantasies you’re thinking.” If he only knew the naughty things I was thinking, he would never let me leave the bedroom.

  “I can’t resist you, the things you make me feel.” His words were laced with tenderness and love as he gently set both my ankles on his shoulders. “You have this hold on me. Always have.” His eyes smoldered to a deep, dark shade of brown as he held his cock in his hand and ran the tip over my sex, commingling our desire between the two of us.

  “Make love to me,” I begged on a desperate sigh as I reached for his hips, needing to hold onto him, to erase any kind of distance between us.

  “Oh, I plan on it.” With one masterful thrust, he was seated deep. Heat engulfed me. My body jolted off the bed, and I clenched around his length, taking in deep breaths and trying to accommodate him.

  “Babe, you okay?” RJ rasped. His head tilted to the ceiling, and I nodded.

  “You need to—” My lips parted, and I swallowed my breath and rocked my hips, unable to finish.

  He wrapped his hand around my ankle and leaned his cheek into my foot, peppering soft wet kisses on the inside of my ankle and up my calf.

  His languid strokes created a slow burn, which simmered low in my belly.

  The intensity grew.

  Heat filtered through me like a blazing out‑of‑control wildfire, and I closed my eyes, wanting to feel everything about this moment.

  He pulled out, leaving the tip of his crown suspended at my entrance, and my eyes flew open—a keen of protest on my lips. “Keep ’em open, babe.” I nodded, and he gave me a smile that promised all sorts of good things if I listened.

  I wore Addie out. It didn’t take long for her to fall into a slumber. Her taste still lingered on my tongue, and if I hadn’t obliterated her body into a sex‑induced coma, I would wake her and do it all over again. Make up for lost time.

  Resting comfortably with my elbow propped up and my head in my hand, I gently ran my fingers through her hair, whispering sweet everythings.