Collision Control

by C. A. Szarek

  Doubts started to eat at her as she replayed the scene in her head.

  Lucas and Manning both shouting. Pompa screaming and waving that gun. When he’d aimed, Taylor recognized it was high and to the right, but she’d still feared he would shoot her. She’d pulled the trigger. As she’d been trained.

  It hadn’t been textbook, but what real world situations were?

  Their jobs were hard. Dangerous. They had split seconds to make decisions that effected people for years. In most cases, for the rest of their lives. Even worse, if lives were ended.

  “Great. Now you’re justifying yourself,” Taylor whispered.

  She sucked in a breath and squared her shoulders. Her gut clenched.

  I screwed up. Shot the wrong man.

  Suddenly, she wanted—no, needed—Pompa to live.

  “Stop this.”

  She needed to stop tearing herself apart. Carter Bennett had killed John. Taylor needed to pick herself up, wrap things up in Antioch and go after him. Her case wasn’t over.

  Far from it.

  Taylor would get the bastard.

  “Special Agent.”

  She jumped then cursed. Taylor whirled around to meet a pair of amber eyes. She fought a shiver but trembled anyway, until her teeth rattled. Tried to tell herself it was because of her current mood. Wishy-washy was unfamiliar and she hated it. “Sergeant.”

  Shannon Crowley threw her a nod. “Do you have a backup weapon?”

  “Yes, why?”

  “I need yours.”

  Her heart plummeted to her stomach.

  Of course.

  She’d shot someone.

  APD was going to run the investigation, unless her boss was planning to send in another agent to be a liaison since Taylor had been involved.

  She didn’t know. Hadn’t had the guts to call in.

  Matthias Baker trusted her judgment. He knew her well, and they’d worked together for years. He’d know she wouldn’t shoot unless it was necessary, so perhaps he’d let the small department handle things.

  But did her boss know she’d been wrong this time?

  Taylor’s heart skipped.

  Words deserted her as she looked up at the handsome uniform cop. She tried not to stare and ordered a wave of emotion to go to hell. Taylor refused to cry in front of anyone, let alone a cop.

  What is wrong with me?

  She never cried.

  Well, she hadn’t until John had been taken from her. Had she had a personality transplant or was weakness just a part of who she’d become?

  Hell no.

  Taylor cleared her throat.

  “Special Agent, are you all right?”

  The concern in those oddly hued eyes made her frown. Taylor stood taller and yanked her blazer straight, even though it was already lying flat. “I’m fine. You wanna do this right here?” She gestured to their public location.

  “We don’t have to. Just giving you a heads up. Your office called my chief. We’re handling things. I’m supposed to get your statement. I’m running point for Sully—Detective Sullivan—until he gets here. He’s in charge of the investigation, with your boss’s blessing, I was told. You’re supposed to check in with Special Agent Baker when things settle down.”

  Taylor nodded and bit back a sigh. Baker was patient, he wouldn’t contact her. So she needed to woman-up and make the call.

  She hadn’t met Detective Sullivan, and perhaps that was for the best, as far as the investigation was concerned. Personally, she would’ve rather had Andi or her partner, Pete Crane, run things.

  Familiar felt better.

  Sergeant Crowley studied her face and Taylor straightened her spine. She didn’t like the appraisal.

  “Are you sure you’re all right, ma’am?”

  “This isn’t my first rodeo,” she snapped.

  When he frowned, regret washed over her. The guy was just showing that he gave a shit about how she was feeling on some level. Crowley didn’t deserve her angst.

  “Doesn’t matter. When you shoot someone, it’s hard to process. You need to decompress.” The sergeant’s voice was even. If he’d been bothered by her attitude, he hid it well.

  She respected that he hadn’t minced words, either.

  Taylor bit her bottom lip. A lump formed in her throat and her nose tingled. She swallowed hard—twice.

  Do not cry. Do not cry. Taylor chanted over and over, praying it would work.

  “I’m FBI,” she blurted.

  Crowley took a step toward her. “You’re still human. This shit is hard. Every damn time.” Something flashed in those whiskey-colored eyes.

  He reached for her hand and squeezed.

  For some reason, Taylor couldn’t pull away. Or look away.

  Since John, she sure as hell didn’t feel human most of the time.

  “C’mon, let’s go back to the PD. You can turn your weapon in and we’ll talk until Sully finds us.” Sergeant Crowley put his arm around her shoulders.

  Taylor froze in his grip but only for a second. Her should-have-been protest died before it was born. The scent of cologne or aftershave tickled her nose. Clean and fresh. Very masculine, and somehow fitting, though she didn’t really know the man. But she remembered the scent from the night he’d opened the door for her at the bar.

  When Shannon Crowley started to walk, Taylor went with him. The warmth of his body seeped into her shoulders and back.

  Somehow, despite everything, she felt better than she had in a long time.

  * * * *

  “He’s stable, for now.”

  Jared sagged in her grip, but Mel just held him tighter.

  “For now?” His voice cracked when he looked at the doctor.

  The surgeon’s brown eyes were somber, and he nodded. He removed his surgical cap and ran his hand through his thinning gray hair. “We won’t really know anything until he comes around from the anesthesia, but surgery went well. We’re hopeful.”

  “Can I see him?”

  “He’s in recovery, and he’s unconscious.”

  “I don’t care.” Jared’s jaw was a hard line, and Mel wanted to kiss him there, soften his expression, but the best she could do was be there for him.

  Hold him like he was holding her. Love him.

  “Very well. Ten minutes, tops, and only because you’re a detective.”

  The doctor left, and Mel squeezed her arms around Jared’s torso. “Do you want me to stay here?”

  Her heart clenched when their eyes met, and his were misty.

  “Will you go with me?”

  “Of course.”

  “I love you,” Jared blurted.

  Mel’s heart flip-flopped, but she didn’t hesitate. “I love you, too.”

  He paused, staring hard. As if she’d grown a second head. His Adam’s apple bobbed and his lips parted, but he didn’t speak right away. Like he couldn’t. “W-what?”

  She blinked. “What’d you mean, what? Did I not answer appropriately?” Mel fought the amusement rising up, because now was so not the time.

  Elation warred with the seriousness of his brother’s injury. Her heart and soul soared.

  Jared loves me!

  “Did you mean it?” Jared breathed.

  Mel gave into the smile hovering below the surface. “Yes. Did you?”

  He nodded and her breath caught.

  When one tear rolled down his cheek, she regretted the teasing challenge and reached to wipe it away, taking a moment to caress the stubble on his cheeks.

  “Something in my eye,” Jared muttered.

  She grinned, she couldn’t help it. “What a guy thing to say.”

  A smile played at his lips. “I don’t deserve you.”

  “Yes you do. And I deserve you, too. Now kiss me.”

  He flashed the first smile she’d seen since she’d arrived at the hospital. Given the heavy circumstances, it was a good thing to see.

  Her heart skipped and she met his lips halfway, snaking her arms around his nec
k. Mel tried not to lose her head to desire, but it was impossible, as always when Jared kissed her. She moved as close as she could get, flattening her breasts against his chest.

  When he slanted his mouth for a second, even deeper kiss, she gathered all her strength and pulled away.

  They were in the hospital waiting room, and they needed to check on Joe.

  Jared rested his forehead against hers, and they both fought to regulate rough breathing. “Thank you for being here for me. Thank you for forgiving me for being an ass, too. And thank you for loving me.” He smiled. It was tender and serious, all wrapped into one.

  “You’re not going to yell at me for bossing you around?” Mel teased.

  Jared’s expression turned sheepish. “I’ll admit it. I’m a control freak.”

  She laughed and entwined their fingers. “So am I.”

  “So you tell me how we avoid another collision,” Jared said.

  Mel leaned into his side when he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “I don’t think we will. It’s a part of a normal relationship, Jared. It’s all about willingness to compromise. You know, give and take. And of course, love. A lot of it.”

  “I’m willing, if you are.”

  “I love you,” she whispered.

  “I love you, too.”

  After another bone-melting kiss, Mel hugged him and took his hand again. “Let’s go see your brother.”

  Epilogue

  “Maybe Christmas Day isn’t the best day to meet your parents for the very first time.” Mel shuffled on her feet, her cheeks adorably pink.

  Jared fought a smile. Lost the battle. His parents were going to love her. Just like he did. “Why not?”

  She hedged, swaying back and forth. Her knuckles were white around her purse strap.

  “Hey.”

  She wouldn’t look at him.

  He gripped her upper arms and squeezed. “Hey.” Jared firmed up his voice and those pale eyes finally focused on his face. “I love you.”

  Mel smiled.

  “I love you. Do ya hear me?” Jared tried to hold onto a stern expression, but when her smile slid into a grin, he couldn’t help but return it.

  “I hear ya.”

  “Good.” He dipped his head down and claimed her lips.

  She moved closer, slipping her arms around his waist and squeezing. He could feel her body heat through her puffy winter coat. Craved more.

  He didn’t care that they were standing on his parents’ front porch.

  Mel opened for him like always, and their tongues melded.

  Place and time faded as Jared got lost in her kiss. He hauled her even closer, kissing her deeper, swallowing her little whimper. Fusing their bodies from chest to breasts, hips to hips. His cock stirred.

  The diamond ring was going to burn a hole in his pocket, but he’d held back all morning. Jared wanted to see her eyes light up when he asked her. Wanted Mel to throw her arms around his neck. Wanted one thing to lead to another so he could have her in his bed again.

  He’d forced himself to wait. Be patient.

  Planned on a proposal in front of his family.

  Should he ask her in his parents’ living room?

  She was meeting them for the first time, after all.

  Mel would be embarrassed.

  God, what if she says no?

  He scolded himself. She wouldn’t say no.

  She loved him.

  He loved her.

  Jared’s heart soared and he ripped his mouth off hers before the temptation to shove her up against the brick or lay her on his parents’ porch swing became too much to cope with. Sex in public, on a holiday nonetheless, was probably not the best thing.

  “Hmmm,” Mel murmured, resting her forehead against his chest.

  He chuckled and cupped her face so she’d look at him. “I should’ve done that before we left, so I could call Mom and Dad and tell them we’d be late.”

  Her blush deepened, and he stole a tiny kiss.

  “They’re going to wonder why we’ve been languishing on the porch. I’ll probably just blurt the truth. I’m a huge wimp. I’m no good at meeting people over five.”

  Jared laughed again. “God, I love you.”

  Mel beamed. “I love you, too.”

  His pulse thundered in his temples and he had to swallow hard. Jared’s heart demanded he ask her to be his wife now.

  While she still had that look on her face.

  Cheeks crimson, lips swollen from their kiss. Her smile chased away the vulnerability in her crystal blue eyes, but she was so endearing.

  So his.

  “I have a good reason.”

  “What?” Mel asked.

  “For languishing on the porch.”

  “Oh yeah?” Amusement flickered across her beautiful face.

  He released her and took a step back.

  Now she looked confused, head cocked to one side, but Jared flashed a smile and buried a hand in his pocket.

  He put his index finger up. “One sec.”

  “What’re you doing?”

  “Just wait.” Jared pulled out a small bundle of artificial mistletoe and held it out.

  Mel arched an eyebrow. “Umm…aren’t you a bit late? You just kissed me. I think you’re supposed to hold that up first or something.”

  Jared shrugged. “Oh well.”

  “Besides, it’s not like you need mistletoe to kiss me.”

  He laughed and grabbed Mel’s hand. Jared turned her palm up and set the fake leaves and berries in it. Her engagement ring was attached to the tiny bottom branch. He didn’t care that his long-thought-out plan was now a moot point.

  The diamond caught the light at the same time the love of his life gasped.

  His heart slid into overdrive and heat crept up his neck. “The wires were poking me. Can’t keep it in my pocket anymore.” Nonsense fell from his mouth, but she wasn’t looking at him.

  She studied the plastic greenery and white gold in her hand. “Jared…” Mel gripped the ring reverently, as if it would fall apart. Her eyes were shiny when their gazes collided.

  “Merry Christmas, baby,” he whispered.

  “This…this—”

  “Will you marry me?” Jared blurted.

  Mel nodded. One tear rolled down her cheek and he thumbed it away. She swallowed and he wanted to kiss her throat.

  He took the bundle from her and detached the ring from the fake mistletoe.

  Her hand shook when he slid the diamond onto her left ring finger. They both stared at it in silence. It fit like a glove and looked awesome on her.

  Joy washed over him. “Are you okay? You’re so quiet.”

  She nodded again.

  “You’re kinda freaking me out. Say something. Please.”

  “Yes,” Mel croaked, but she grinned through the tears on her cheeks.

  The smartass remark died on his tongue when their eyes met again. Jared’s stomach somersaulted and he crushed her to him.

  She met his lips when he leaned down, and he kissed her until he couldn’t breathe. Until they were clutching at each other and winter coats were too much for the heat they’d worked up, despite the outside temperature.

  His jeans were tight. A groan was torn from his lips when Mel wiggled against him.

  The porch swing was looking good—

  “Oh, my God. Get a room.” Jenna’s voice burst through the fog of passion clouding his head, and he pulled away from his fiancée.

  Fiancée!

  “Mom! Dad! They are here. Necking on the front porch. In broad daylight!”

  Necking?

  Mel snorted beside him and Jared scowled, but at least she wasn’t embarrassed. He glanced at her, ignoring his bratty little sister. His hard-on already started to deflate, thought it was throbbing a protest on the way down.

  Her cheeks were still pink, the light brown waves of her hair mussed from his hands. She glowed. More gorgeous than he’d ever seen her. Which didn’t help his ardor, but his sist
er standing at the front door sure as hell did.

  “You must be Jenna.” Mel’s voice was steady and she took a step forward, thrusting her hand out to Jared’s sister.

  Jenna beamed and nodded as they shook. “I’m the smart one.”

  Jared rolled his eyes as they stepped into the house and his fiancée laughed.

  “I don’t doubt that. You’re in medical school?”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “I’m impressed.”

  “God, don’t encourage her.”

  Mel patted his chest after he slipped out of his leather jacket. “Be nice to your sister.”

  “Oh, I like her,” Jenna said.

  He helped Mel out of her coat and hung them both in the closet. “Well, you were right about one thing, baby.”

  “What’s that?” Mel asked.

  Jared winked. “You have no problem meeting five-year-olds.”

  “Hey!” Jenna propped her hands on her hips and mock-glared.

  There was no way his sister had heard Mel’s insecurities, but she was a quick study when she was being insulted. He laughed.

  Their parents interrupted them, preventing Jenna from one of her famous retorts.

  “Who is this lovely creature?” Dad said.

  Mel’s blush deepened.

  Jared set his hand at the small of her back and urged her forward. “Dad, Mom, this is my fiancée, Mel Nash.”

  “Fiancée?” Jenna waggled her eyebrows.

  Mom hushed her and politely met Mel, but she refused the handshake and pulled her in for a hug. His mom has always been a hugger.

  At least Mel’s shoulders loosened at Jared’s side afterward.

  Pleasantries came and went, his fiancée relaxing more with every word exchanged. They moved into the living room and took seats to chat.

  Mom offered drinks, and refused help. She disappeared into the kitchen, Jenna on her heels anyway.

  “How’s Joe?” his dad asked, his voice somber.

  Jared had had to call his parents and explain what’d happened—including the three-week suspension without pay from APD.

  The write-ups at work had made him wince, but at least he still had a job, and there were no legal charges pending.

  Even Carrigan had fought to help save his ass.

  They hadn’t really settled things between them, but he respected her a little bit. She hadn’t had to help. He’d been the one in the wrong—illegal wrong. Jared was damn lucky things were going to work out.