Full Circle

by Lynne, Donya

  “Do you like it?”

  “I like them both. So it’s your decision.” He took her hand and led her toward the door.

  She waved toward Lisa. “I’ll call you later.”

  Once in the car and on the way toward West Clover, where the financially unencumbered lived, Mark said, “So, what was that look Lisa gave you back there about?”

  “What look?”

  “In her office? After I asked her to work with Kit?”

  Of course, Mark hadn’t missed that. He was Mr. Observant. Mr. I-Never-Miss-Anything.

  “It was nothing.”

  He glanced at her then returned his gaze to the road as he took her hand.

  “You met her, didn’t you?”

  “Yes. She’s . . .” Gorgeous, breathtaking, every man’s fantasy. “Lovely.”

  “Yes, but she’s not you.”

  Obviously.

  “She seems capable, though, for you to put your trust in her. That’s a good thing, right?”

  “Of course, but I would still rather have you as my assistant.”

  “You would?” She hadn’t meant that to come out as surprised as it sounded. Or as pleased.

  “I miss us working together, Karma. You always gave me something to look forward to at the office. Work wasn’t just about work when you were there. It was exciting. You know, every day since you’ve left, when I go for my coffee, I wish when I walk out of my office that I would still find you sitting at your desk.”

  Your desk. He still saw it as hers, even though she’d been gone for almost two months. It was good to know he felt that way.

  She dipped her head flirtatiously. “You mean, you don’t make Kit get your coffee for you?”

  He grinned and gave her hand a squeeze but kept his eyes on the road. “That was only for you.”

  “Was I special?”

  This time he did take a second to look at her. “You still are. Very special.”

  They drove in silence for a while, which allowed Karma’s memory to play over their sexy games and all the ways he used to tease her at the office. That first day—when he appeared like a specter only two days after she’d met him in Chicago, all deliciously hot and stealing every woman’s attention just standing in the lobby wearing his crisp, tailored suit—she’d gotten his coffee. After that, doing so became a fun diversion. Something to put her in front of him . . . to see him smile as he took that first sip, his grey-green gaze burning into hers like a challenge.

  They didn’t play games like that, anymore, but then, their relationship was different now. Playtime had taken on a new dimension. Instead of using their professional relationship as a means of foreplay and sexual restraint that turned into an inferno in private, they used heated glances across the kitchen while making dinner, or suggestive caresses while watching TV. He asked for sex by standing in the bedroom doorway, shirtless, arms extended overhead, hands propped against the top of the frame, jeans slung low on his hips, The Look firmly in place.

  In a way, she wanted some of those playful times back. Not that she didn’t like where they were now, but Playful Mark had been so very fun. He’d made her laugh and see things in herself she hadn’t known existed. And, to be honest, sometimes she got the feeling Mark was still holding something back. She’d thought they’d gotten everything out in the open in Saint Lucia, but occasionally, the shadows fell over his face in such a way to make her think there was more he still hadn’t told her.

  “I was wondering,” she said. “Maybe tonight we could talk about the wedding. You know, set a date.”

  Mark’s jaw flexed, and a distinct chill rolled off him as his hand tightened around hers. Then he relaxed as if he’d forced himself. “I thought we’d agreed to wait.”

  Okay, so that wasn’t the reaction she’d expected. Both physically and verbally.

  “I know, but Lisa mentioned today that we might have already waited too long for a June wedding and made me realize just how much planning a wedding is going to take. I know we’re both busy as hell right now, but maybe we should at least set the date so we can get the ball rolling. That way, we’re not rushing around at the last minute trying to pull everything off in a month. Good plan, right?”

  He let go of her hand and made a left turn. “We’ve already got so much going on right now. I’d feel better if we waited until after we close on the house to discuss the wedding.”

  His voice was tight, his words slightly clipped, almost as if he were angry, even though he clearly wasn’t. Uptight? Irritated? Karma couldn’t put her finger on the emotion stirring just beneath his words, but it was clear he still wasn’t ready to talk specifics about the wedding.

  “Okay, we can wait. I just thought I’d suggest it.” She glanced out the window at the palatial estates nestled within thick, protective coves of trees.

  West Clover was a beautiful area. Magnificent homes on massive plots tended by professional landscaping crews. Everybody who was anybody in central Indiana lived in West Clover. Players from professional sports teams, government officials, coaches, millionaires. It was a Who’s Who of the rich and famous.

  Mark would fit right in.

  Her? Not so much.

  But she’d better get used to it, because there was a high probability that within the next hour, they’d be making an offer on a house big enough to hold the enter United States Winter Olympics team and still have room to walk around. Okay, so maybe that was a slight exaggeration, but the place was huge. Bigger than any house Karma had ever imagined living in.

  As they pulled into the driveway, Karma cringed inwardly at their realtor’s car already parked in front of the four-car garage. Natalie was a shameless flirt. Maybe Karma’s jealousy was unfounded where Kit was concerned, but it was more than justified in Natalie’s case.

  The first time Natalie met Karma, she had seemed taken aback that Mark was already in a relationship. That had been a chilly first meeting, and Natalie still showed her disappointment with every icy, red-lipped smile she gave her.

  “Welcome back.” Natalie tippy-toed across the ice-patched driveway in her three-inch, peep-toe heels.

  Looked like Natalie had gotten the memo about Mark’s foot fetish, too.

  Karma mentally chastised herself. She really needed to get over this jealousy routine. It wasn’t becoming. She hated when other women displayed their ugly, green-eyed monsters. It was a sign of insecurity, and she had no reason to be insecure, other than her silly past that had practically bred that nasty personality trait into her genetic makeup for almost two decades. But she was over that now—or, rather, she should have been, thanks to Mark.

  So, yeah, the jealous girlfriend act needed to take a hike.

  Mark took her hand, and they met Natalie halfway across the driveway.

  “Are you two ready to take another look at your first home?” Natalie’s smile seemed more genuine this time around. Maybe she’d moved on to another potential suitor. Or maybe she saw all the places on the left side of the decimal point her commission would include if she closed this sale tonight.

  “Lead the way.” Mark gestured for Natalie to go ahead then pulled Karma’s forearm around his, linking them more intimately.

  Just as she’d done the first time they viewed the house, Karma sucked in her breath as they crossed the threshold into the entryway. She loved the relatively open floorplan. Oak hardwood spread toward an angular staircase hugging the left wall. An extra-wide hall opened into an enormous kitchen with high, A-line ceilings and a row of windows overlooking the deck and wooded backyard. The kitchen, living, and dining rooms all shared the same space to create one giant, inviting area.

  Mark inspected the kitchen cabinets as she stood aside and let him drool. The kitchen in his temporary apartment was barely an eighth of the size of this one. For a man who loved to cook, such a tiny kitchen had to be frustrating. Just imagine the culinary damage he could do in this eighth wonder of the world.

  “I have a feeling this will be your room,” s
he said, running her hand over the polished, dark-grey-and-white granite countertop as she eased up beside him.

  He grinned and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “Oh, I don’t know. I think I might allow you in here once in a while.”

  “Only once in a while?” She followed him around the counter into the dining area, with its cozy stone fireplace, and then through the side hall leading back to the front of the house, past the side door, the laundry room, and a spare bathroom, before entering what Karma had termed her library. It was a smaller, round room with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves on one side and a small custom window on the other to let in natural light. There was enough room for a modest table so she could use it as a meeting or research room.

  An arched doorway led them into what Karma had decided would become her office.

  Natalie had the good sense to hover several feet behind them. She seemed to understand that a good realtor let the client sell the house to themselves.

  “And this is your room,” Mark said, crossing toward the large picture window overlooking the front yard.

  There was enough space for two comfortable club chairs and an end table between them. A wall of bookshelves took up the wall opposite the window, behind where Karma envisioned her desk.

  “And you’ll be welcome in it any time you like,” she said sweetly. Maybe a little extra sweetly because of Natalie poised in the background.

  “Why, thank you.” He winked and took her hand.

  After touring the full basement, with its bar, half kitchen, theater, spare bedroom, and exercise room, they ended their tour upstairs in the master bedroom.

  “Natalie, could you give us a moment, please?” Mark said from the French doors that opened onto a private balcony.

  “Of course.” Natalie backed out of the room and gave Karma an awkward smile. “I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.”

  After she was gone, Mark wrapped his arms around Karma’s waist and pulled her against him. “What do you think? Is this home?”

  In his arms was home.

  She couldn’t contain her smile, pressing her palms against his chest. “I love it.”

  “So do I.” He stepped back and took her hand, leading her away from the doors. “I see our bed there.” He pointed toward the right then gestured to the left. “And I want to get a Tantra chair that would go nicely right there.”

  “A Tantra chair? What’s that?”

  His wicked grin bespoke that whatever a Tantra chair was, it was not a normal piece of furniture. “It’s sort of like a chaise lounge but made to help couples find lots of fun and interesting positions for sex. Think of it as an ergonomic sex chair.” He led her toward the door. “I’ll show you pictures later. But you’ll love it. Especially since you’re so limber from all that yoga.” His eyebrows popped mischievously.

  Where did he find these things? “Have you used a Tantra chair before?”

  The shadow that occasionally appeared and made her think he still hadn’t told her everything about his past crossed his face. “Yes, I’ve used one.”

  “When?” Was it with Carol? Nina? One of his other temporary flings?

  He kept his eyes on the floor as they headed toward the stairs. “Nina had one.”

  Nina again. She’d taken up a lot of time in Mark’s post-Carol personal development.

  “And you liked it?”

  “Yes, it’s one of the things Nina introduced me to that I did end up liking.”

  They began descending to the main floor.

  “What else did she introduce you to that you liked?”

  His eyebrows ticked inward. With every step, his body grew more tense. “Maybe now isn’t the best time to discuss this.”

  “So, there’s more about this we need to discuss?”

  A guilty shroud fell over him.

  She’d been right. There was more. The fact that Mark hadn’t told her when they were on vacation irritated her, because that had been the whole point of the discussion they’d had the night they made their lists.

  “Please, let’s not talk about this now. Let’s wait until we get home.” His brow was pinched in the middle, his expression grim.

  “Why do I get the feeling there’s still something you haven’t told me?” she said quietly as they reached the foot of the stairs and stopped. “Something important.”

  His shoulders wilted as he faced her. A chagrined smile tilted his mouth. “Because, apparently, you’re getting to know me well enough to know when I’m hiding something.”

  “Hiding something?” She frowned and took a step back, crossing her arms. “What are you hiding from me? I thought you told me everything in Saint Lucia.”

  He scrunched his eyes closed, holding up his hand. “Not exactly hiding. That was a poor choice of words.”

  “Then give me some better ones.” If he still felt the need to hide things from her, then they hadn’t made as much progress as she thought.

  He glanced toward the kitchen, where Natalie was waiting for them. Then he spoke in hushed tones. “It’s not that big of a deal. Compared to what I’ve already told you, this is nothing. I promise.”

  “Then why are you so upset? If it’s not a big deal, then why haven’t you told me?”

  He closed the short distance between them, his gaze boring hard into hers. “Because, Karma . . . it’s personal. It’s deeply personal. And it’s damn hard to find the words to tell you what needs to be said. Do you understand? I want you to know, but I’m afraid of the way you’ll look at me after you do.”

  On one hand, he felt like a complete stranger. How could he say whatever he was hiding was no big thing but express how much he feared revealing it? On the other hand, she wanted to pull him into her arms and tell him not to be afraid. Never to be scared of telling her his secrets, no matter how personal he thought they were or how he feared she would react. They were a team. One. Together in thick and thin, good and bad. The fact that he was still keeping secrets unnerved her.

  “You’re scaring me,” she said quietly.

  His frowned deepened as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “I’m sorry.”

  She forced a tight smile and took one of his hands in both of hers. “What could be so bad that you’d get this upset about it? I don’t know what to think, and I’m imagining the worst.”

  Did he have a terrible disease he hadn’t told her about? Did he have a kid with one of the women he’d gotten involved with? More than one kid?

  Oh God, what if he did?

  He sighed, his posture broken. “It’s really nothing bad, Karma. Honest, it isn’t. But . . .”

  “But what?”

  “You might not like it.”

  She regarded him impatiently. “Will you stop trying to think for me and let me decide for myself?”

  “I’m sorry. It’s a habit.”

  “Well, let’s see if we can work on breaking it. Because I’m a lot more understanding than you’re giving me credit for.”

  He sighed and closed his eyes for a count of two then opened them again. “I know you are, and I’m trying.”

  “And that’s all I’m asking. For you to try.” She searched his face. “So, are you going to tell me what you’ve been hiding?”

  “Yes, but not right now. Later. At home where we can talk openly.” He paused then added. “This time, let me do this the way I’m most comfortable.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “And what way is that?”

  He took a deep breath then tugged her hand to follow him as he started for the kitchen. “With a plan.”

  With a plan. That was so Mark. But she would cut him some slack. This time.

  They entered the kitchen hand-in-hand, if not a bit more tense than they had been thirty minutes ago.

  Natalie sat at the island, scrolling on her smartphone. She immediately tucked it into her purse and stood. “So, what’s your decision?” She looked from Mark to her and back to Mark.

  “We want it.”

  Natalie’s smile c
reased the spackled makeup around her eyes. “I’ll start the paperwork tonight.”

  “Good. And inform the sellers we are highly motivated and want to move in as soon as possible. Whatever it takes.” He squeezed her hand as if to impress upon her how he felt about living together. That no matter what came of their discussion later, he wanted this. Them. Together. Under one roof. And he wanted it sooner rather than later. No matter the expense.

  “Noted.” Natalie ushered them toward the front door. “I think you two will be very happy here. It’s a fabulous home. Competitively priced. And it’s in a great neighborhood. Perfect for kids.”

  It was like she was putting her own personal stamp of approval on the sale.

  They exited, and Natalie locked up then joined them in the driveway.

  “I’ll be in touch tomorrow to let you know what the sellers said,” Natalie said to Mark. “But I have no reason to think this house won’t be yours by the end of the week.”

  “Thank you, Natalie.” Mark shook her hand.

  Karma did likewise, and then she and Mark departed for Solar so she could get her car and meet him back at her apartment.

  Silence engulfed them. But it wasn’t an awkward silence. More like the silence associated with someone who was deep in thought.

  Mark was apparently working on his plan.

  She stared out the passenger window, letting him toil as her own mind wandered.

  She had the ring. And now it looked like she had the house. All she needed was the wedding date.

  And to know what else Mark hadn’t told her.

  Chapter 12

  Learning to trust is one of life's most difficult tasks.

  -Isaac Watts

  She should have been happy. Should have been excited. Right now, she and Mark should have been wrapped around each other in bed, turning dreams into plans for their new home. Instead, she was quietly poking the uneaten portion of her salmon. Waiting. Just . . waiting.

  “Are you finished?” Mark reached for her plate.

  She set down her fork. “Yes.”

  He took their dishes to the kitchen, spent a few minutes tidying up and putting away leftovers, then shut off the light and returned to the table, hand outstretched.