Wounded Heroes Boxed Set

by Judith Arnold

  Cole found him there. His own beer in hand, he slapped Joe on the back. "This must be hard for you every year."

  "Yeah, it is. But, for a while his death was just part of the past. Then when I met Dana…I don’t know, it seemed so present all of a sudden. I know this is stupid. I’m a grown man. None of it should be so raw."

  "Understandable."

  "I wonder why we keep doing the service."

  "Maybe because your dad deserves to be remembered."

  Both were distracted when Spence and Annie came out a back door and disappeared around the house. They were holding hands and leaning on each other. Cole sighed. "Shit, I wish I had somebody here with me. Somebody to lean on."

  "Why don’t you, Cole? Before Ellie, you had women falling at your feet."

  "All my time’s taken up with her and my website."

  "Find somebody on there. Oh, right, you’re not over forty."

  Cole was silent.

  "What?"

  "I’ve checked the clients out anyway."

  "There’s probably no harm in that." He poked his brother in the ribs. "Maybe you’ll find a cougar."

  Cole laughed, then sobered. "Where is she?"

  "Who?"

  "Dana. She’s conspicuously absent."

  "Didn’t ask her." He gulped back some beer.

  "Going into yourself won’t help you iron out the issues between you two."

  "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

  "Don’t bullshit me. If you let her, she’d be here by your side—" he pointed to the way Spence and Annie had gone "—snuggling you like them."

  A snuggle sounded pretty damn good right now. Feeling more than he could tolerate, he let his emotions pour out. "I’m blowing it with her, Cole. We had a hell of a fight Sunday. She accused me of being embarrassed by her. Of reacting unconsciously to her condition." He swallowed hard. "Hell, maybe she’s right. I was thinking today at Mass that I used to be embarrassed about Dad."

  "Are you embarrassed about Dana’s condition?"

  "I didn’t think so. But her words rang true. I haven’t introduced her to my Sundowner friends or the guys from work. And I’ve had opportunity."

  "Like Joe Sr. said, nothing’s a hundred percent. Tell her you still got hang-ups from your dad."

  "That would kill her."

  Cole blew out a heavy breath. "Maybe. Maybe not if you phrase it right. Say something like you’re having issues coping with her disability and how it’s changed your life. Basically that’s the truth. She has to have expected some of that, Joe. She’s not stupid."

  "I guess."

  "Well, that’s all the advice I have, bro. Except that she’s pretty much the greatest thing that’s happened to you. Try not to lose her." He clapped Joe on the back. "You’ve both had too much loss in your lives."

  Cole left and Joe felt even worse than he had before. How on earth had his situation with Dana gone south so fast? And the better question, did he really want to fix it?

  ***

  THE WEEK HAD dragged by and it was only Thursday morning. Even though she’d been busy with plans for the expansion next door, Dana couldn’t help thinking about Joe at night, wondering how he was, how he was doing after Yancy’s funeral and the anniversary of dad’s death. Yet when she thought back on their fight, she didn’t believe anything she’d said to him was untrue. That probably hurt most of all. If she didn’t see him tonight, when he brought Kara—if he brought Kara—she was going to contact him.

  She heard something out front and peeked through the window. A car had pulled up she didn’t recognize. Ah, Jeremy exited it. As far as Dana knew, he hadn’t seen Ruth since their blow up last week. Wheeling out to the entrance, she met him in waiting area. "Hello, Jeremy."

  "Hi, Dana." He looked drawn and pale. But so did Ruth. She angled her chin and said, "Is there something I can do for you?"

  "I came to see Ruth."

  "Well, it took you long enough."

  His face got even more haggard. "I said some things I shouldn’t have. I need to talk to her. Is she here?"

  "Sometimes you can’t take back what you said."

  "I refuse to believe that. You can make up by getting forgiveness from the person you hurt."

  "Is that what you want? Forgiveness?"

  "Yes. I hurt her with my demands." He rolled his eyes heavenward. "And I was wrong to pressure her. It’s just that I never thought I’d find love again, and now that I have, I want her with me all the time."

  Selfishly, Dana wished Joe had uttered sentiments like that. "Then go tell her yourself. She’s sitting out back, working on some scheduling stuff."

  "Why are you being so nice about this, Dana? You could keep the status quo. Our breakup would benefit you."

  "I love Ruth like a mother. All I want is for her to be happy."

  He gave her a sad smile and left. Dana was about to follow him when Joe walked through the front door. Maybe the men had finally had some sense knocked into them.

  "Hi," he said as he faced her. "I was wondering if we could talk."

  "Hi, Joe." He just stood there like a little boy. "Don’t you have to work today?" Usually he had regular hours.

  "I took the morning off to stay with Kaelyn. She’s sick. Her mom’s with her now."

  "Oh, dear, I’m sorry to hear that."

  "Emotional upset brings on stomach problems for her."

  "And was she upset about your dad’s service?"

  He flushed. "Can we go to your office?"

  "All right."

  Joe followed her inside and closed the door behind him. She wheeled over to the table, and Joe took a chair adjacent to her.

  Drumming his fingers on the surface, he shook his head. "I’m sorry about my behavior since I found out Yancy died. Things were going so well up till then."

  Dana shook her head. "Were they Joe?"

  He stared out the window. "They were going fairly well. Look, I did shut you out of things. First, I didn’t tell you about my dad. Then, I wouldn’t talk to you about him. And I cut you out of Yancy’s funeral and Dad’s service. I admit that. And I’m sorry."

  "You said that’s how you are."

  "It is. I did the same thing with my football injury, when I got divorced and when my partner died."

  "Your partner died?"

  "Yes, the one before Shelly."

  Dana drew in a deep breath. "Jesus, Joe, I didn’t know about that, either."

  "I…I’m sorry. I guess I have a lot to learn, maybe some changes to make, if we go further."

  Her heart started to gallop. "If?"

  "We have to decide if we think we can make it, Dana. If I can be honest about things."

  "I thought we already had that discussion. And you said you could do this. At the time, I told you the worst thing you could do was get into a relationship with me, then decide you couldn’t handle my disability."

  "Maybe we were naïve."

  Maybe they had been. From the outset, Dana knew a relationship with Joe wasn’t going to be easy. "All right. Start with this. And be honest. Do you think there’s a shred of truth in what I said about you being embarrassed about me with your friends and colleagues?"

  He shifted in his seat and swallowed hard. Then he met her gaze. "Honestly, I don’t know, Dana. You keep throwing the unconscious mind around. How would I even know if I was?"

  "Were you embarrassed about your dad’s condition?"

  "Um, yeah. But I was only a kid."

  Dana felt like somebody had pierced her heart with a knife. She had to look away from him.

  "Honey, I think the connection with my dad isn’t that I was embarrassed. I think my mother was right. I think your condition has brought back some of the pain and anger I felt over him. That’s why a relationship with you has been so hard for me."

  Images flashed through her mind like a movie clip: Joe talking her out of her funk after the fire, kissing her foot, telling her that the condition of her legs didn’t matter to him. And h
ow first he’d calmed her about making love with the book questions and how tenderly he’d touched her. She almost couldn’t ask the question. "Was any of the understanding, the tenderness you showed me in dealing with my condition real?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "You’ve been so good about my circumstances, on the surface at least. You did so much right, yet you were suffering. Did you mean any of it?"

  "Of course I did. All of it."

  He looked genuinely confused. Still, she asked, "How could you have been honest if you say I called up so many difficult memories?"

  "Dana the situation is more complicated than that."

  "No, I don’t think it is. You’ve had doubts all along and kept them from me."

  "All right! I had doubts."

  "From the beginning. From the very beginning."

  She could see his temper building. "Yes, I had doubts from the beginning. But there were no guarantees, Dana. From either of us."

  No, no guarantees that he wouldn’t do exactly what he’d said he wouldn’t. "I told you to be sure you could handle this, that if we fell in love, and you decided you couldn’t handle my situation, it would kill me."

  "I can handle it. I just had some human responses."

  She shook her head. A thought zipped into her mind. Thank God she was expanding the business.

  "Dana, what are you thinking?"

  "I’m thinking that we need a break from each other."

  "No, that would be the worst thing to do. I want to work on my issues together."

  She watched him as pain radiated from those gorgeous blue eyes. "I’m not sure the relationship is salvageable."

  "Do you want it to be?"

  "Truthfully, Joe, I’m not sure now. I’m not sure I want to risk any more on you."

  "You don’t mean that."

  "I think I do."

  "Please, Dana, don’t do this to us."

  A flare of anger on her face. "I didn’t do this to us. You did."

  "By being human?"

  She sank back into her chair. "I’d like you to leave."

  "What? Like this? No."

  "Leave now, before we both say things we might regret." Her face turned vulnerable and soft. "Please."

  Confused, angry and unable to see her side, he stood. "You know, I forgave you for lying to me about your condition. I don’t see why you can’t forgive me for being human."

  "I hate how you twist things. Please, just go."

  He felt his eyes moisten. Saw hers do the same. To quell that, he summoned anger because it was easier. Much, much easier. "Fine. Maybe our relationship isn’t worth this much trouble after all."

  Joe opened the office door; out in the entry, Dana could see Ruth and Jeremy in a clinch. They shot apart.

  Joes said, "Looks like you two made up."

  "Yeah, we’re going to conquer our differences so we can be together."

  "Lucky you," Joe said, heading out. "Lucky you."

  Chapter 17

  * * *

  JUDITH BRIGHT MATCHED her name. The woman’s energy and enthusiasm exhausted Dana sometimes. Then again, it wasn’t tough to tire her out. One of the unfortunate side effects of losing JoeyD was that Dana seemed drained by the smallest things. That hadn’t happened since she’d gone to rehab to become self-sufficient.

  "Hey, there," Judith said, approaching her in the doorway to the new space. She’d been discussing something with the contractor on the other side of the room. "What do you think?"

  "I’m amazed at how far along the renovation is." Already, the area had been gutted, new drywall was up and the ceiling, which had been lowered years ago, was now its original height—better for dancing. Dana could see the kids leaping into the air, twirling across a hardwood floor yet to be put in, lounging in the spacious break room off the main area.

  "Jimmy’s done a great job." Something about her tone.

  Dana took a bead on her. "Jimmy?"

  "The contractor." Judith’s face reddened. "Mr. Harrison."

  Jesus, Dana thought, was there something in the air?

  Though it hurt to see Ruth and Judith going on with their lives, Dana smiled. "Judith, it’s okay to have…whatever you have with him."

  "He asked me out. I told him no, but in my mind I’m thinking after the place is done…" She shrugged. "I’m not getting any younger."

  Again, a phony smile.

  "Can I ask you something?"

  "Sure."

  "You seemed happier when we started this whole project. Now, there’s a melancholy about you. Do you regret expanding? Hiring me?"

  "No, of course not. My mood has nothing to do with you and the new addition. I, um, some personal things didn’t work out the way I thought they would." Now that was an understatement."

  "I’m sorry."

  "It is what it is."

  Over the course of the two weeks since Joe walked out of her office, Dana had come to realize Joey wasn’t to blame for his reactions to her. Deeply seated resentment and emotion had formed inside of him as a child and she triggered those emotions. The thought made her ill and, conversely, more certain that her decision was correct. She could never live with the fact that her mere presence caused him pain.

  She lifted some papers from her lap. "In any case, these are the contracts from my lawyer for you to begin dance work here in the spring and not just oversee the project. Still want to?"

  Judith snatched the papers up. "You betcha."

  Dana noticed some activity at the door. Jimmy turned around and motioned for Judith to come over. His smile was as light and young as Judith’s. Dana said, "Go ahead. I have work to do." All I have is work to do.

  A giggling Ruth was in the office, staring at her phone when Dana entered. "Another sexy text?"

  Her friend raised her head and grinned. "Yep. I love them."

  "I’m happy for you."

  "We’re getting engaged, Dana." She put her hand to her mouth. "Oops I didn’t mean for that to come out. It’s, um, a compromise of sorts."

  Dana stopped wheeling. "What made you decide?"

  "Losing him for those weeks. And reuniting. I don’t ever want to go through that again."

  "I’m glad for you. Truly."

  "Doesn’t it feel like that for you, honey? That you miss him so much you hurt all the time inside?"

  Dana swallowed hard. "Yeah, Ruth it does."

  ***

  "SHIT, I CAN’T watch this anymore." Spence threw down his rake, plopped his hands on his hips and nodded to Joe, who lifted a heavy planter off their mother’s patio to store for the winter.

  Cole felt the same way about Joe’s malaise. It had been four weeks since he and Dana had broken off their relationship and Joe got more and more morose every day.

  "What are we gonna do about it?" Cole asked. "I have no idea how to help him."

  "I’d like to beat some sense into him." Spence ran a hand through his hair. "Damn, I don’t know what to do, either. I hate being powerless when people I care about are suffering."

  "Your nemesis." Cole decided to tease. "You should be used to it by now, with Annie and kiddies in your life."

  "I’m trying. I’ll tell you, our kids are great, but Annie is so strong-minded, I can’t believe her."

  "Something going on?"

  "Yeah." He glanced at Joe again. "I haven’t said anything because of him." He sighed heavily. "Annie wants to have my baby."

  "Spence, that’s terrific news."

  "I…I’m afraid to upset the balance." He looked at Cole with an expression on his face that Cole had never seen before. Total and complete indecision. "My life is perfect now. I don’t want to jeopardize the status quo. But it’s hard to deny Annie anything, and she’s rabid about this."

  "You poor thing. A wife who loves you to pieces. Kids who adore their new stepfather. I feel really sorry for you."

  "Shut up. Wait till you fall for somebody."

  Cole turned away. He was dragged back around by his older brother, who
said, "What’s going on? Jesus, are you in love, too?"

  "No. But I thought I found somebody online."

  "Which site?"

  "Um, mine."

  "You’re a babe in the woods. You don’t qualify for the age cutoff."

  "I know. But I found a woman who feels like she could be my soul mate. I didn’t contact her for months, and when I did, she was already talking to some other guy and didn’t want to deal with two men. If it doesn’t work out with him, she’s going to get in touch with me."

  "Hell, Cole. How old is she?

  "Forty-four. I lied, said I was forty."

  "Do we never learn in this family?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "Look at the havoc lies have played in mine and Joey’s lives. I thought you were smarter."

  "I always thought I was, too," Cole said to ease the strain. He shrugged. "Doesn’t matter anyway. I waited too long." Which really galled him. He was drawn to this woman.

  "Fucking son of a bitch." The swearing came from Joe, as he moved a bench that was too heavy for him.

  "Jesus, he’s going to hurt himself again," Cole said.

  "I don’t think he cares. Let’s go save him from himself." Spence head-locked Cole. "Next, we can work on you."

  "Yeah, I need some sobering."

  "These days, Joey would sober Pollyanna."

  Both brothers approached Joe gingerly. This wasn’t going to go well and they both knew it.

  ***

  JOE HATED TRAINING recruits. He wasn’t a good teacher, he had little patience these days, and most of the time, he wanted to punch somebody’s lights out. As he entered his office after the class, he yanked off the vest he’d worn to discuss what the protection of it could and couldn’t do for the cops in trouble, dropped down at his computer and nursed his sour mood.

  "You need to date someone else." Shelly came to the door, still wearing her vest.

  "What did you say?"

  "Go back on Cole’s website. Find somebody else."

  As if another woman would appeal to him now. When he’d finally told his friends about the breakup, because he was sick of being asked about a relationship that no longer existed, both Evie and Susan had put the moves on him. "That won’t help."