Baby Talk & Wedding Bells

by Brenda Harlen

  “Well, maybe we’ll set you up with a friends and family discount.”

  “Speaking of friends and family—”

  “Why do I sense that you’re now getting to the true purpose of your visit?”

  Ryan tipped his bottle to his lips, drank. “Maybe it’s none of my business—Harper told me it’s none of my business,” he admitted.

  “It’s generally good advice to listen to your wife,” Braden told him.

  “It probably is, but I can’t deny that I’m a little worried you’re rushing into marriage with Cassie.”

  He frowned at that. “Do you have a problem with my fiancée?”

  “No,” his brother quickly assured him. “She’s great. In fact, she just might be perfect for you.”

  “Then why the concern?” he asked warily.

  “Because I know you haven’t known her very long. And because I know you were unhappy in the last few years of your marriage to Dana. And because you told me, after her funeral, that you felt guilty about failing in your promise to Saige’s birth mom to give her daughter a real family.”

  “I’m still not seeing your point,” he said, although he was beginning to suspect that he did.

  “I can’t help wondering—are you marrying Cassie because you want her for your wife? Or because you want her to be Saige’s mother?”

  “Considering that our marriage will put her in both of those roles, why do the reasons matter?” Braden countered. “And why are you in my face about this when you got married to give Oliver a family?”

  “Because Oliver’s aunt was suing for custody and we needed to ensure that he stayed with us, because that’s what his parents wanted.”

  “And Saige’s birth mother wanted her to have two parents—to grow up in a real family. And just as you would do anything for your son, I will do anything for my daughter.”

  “The difference being that when Harper and I decided to get married, we both knew why we were doing it.”

  “I want to marry Cassie,” Braden assured his brother. “She’s an incredible woman—warm and kind and generous. And Saige absolutely adores her.”

  “But do you love her?” Ryan pressed.

  He tipped his bottle to his lips. “I will honor the vows I make to her on our wedding day,” he finally said.

  His brother shook his head, clearly unsatisfied with that answer. “She’s in love with you, Braden. How long do you think it’s going to take her to figure out that her feelings aren’t reciprocated? And,” he continued without giving Braden an opportunity to respond, “what do you think she’ll do when she figures it out?”

  “Getting married will give us both what we want,” Braden insisted.

  “I hope you’re right,” Ryan said. “Because losing another mother will be a lot harder on your daughter than growing up without one.”

  * * *

  Cassie stood by the open window in Saige’s bedroom, frozen by the conversation that drifted up from the deck as she lifted Braden’s sleepy daughter into her arms. She’d just finished reading a story to the little girl and intended to take her downstairs to say good-night to her daddy when she heard voices from below and realized that he had company.

  She hadn’t intended to eavesdrop, but she couldn’t avoid overhearing their conversation—and couldn’t stop listening when she realized that they were talking about her.

  I want to marry Cassie. She’s an incredible woman—warm and kind and generous. And Saige absolutely adores her.

  But do you love her?

  Her breath caught as she waited for Braden to reply.

  I will honor the vows I make to her on our wedding day.

  The response answered not just his brother’s question but her own, and with those few words, the joy leaked from her wounded heart like air from a punctured tire.

  How long do you think it’s going to take her to figure out that her feelings aren’t reciprocated?

  Well, Ryan’s conversation with his brother had taken care of that for her. While she’d managed to disregard her own niggling doubts for the past few weeks, she could do so no longer.

  And what do you think she’ll do when she figures it out?

  Cassie forced herself to move away from the window, but she couldn’t force herself to answer that question. She didn’t want to answer that question. She didn’t want to do anything except go back ten minutes in time and never overhear Braden and Ryan’s conversation.

  Because she could live with her own doubts and uncertainties. As long as she had Braden and Saige, she could live with almost anything. But the one thing she could not live with was the absolute knowledge that the man she planned to marry—the man she loved with her whole heart—didn’t love her back.

  Unshed tears burned the back of her eyes as she rocked Saige to sleep for what she knew might be the very last time. She couldn’t blame Braden. There had been so many clues as to his motivation—most notably Lindsay’s visit and her threat to have the adoption revoked—but Cassie had refused to see them.

  I will do anything for my daughter.

  She’d always known he wanted a mother for Saige—he’d made no secret of that fact. But she’d let herself hope and believe that he wanted her, too. That when he took her in his arms and made love to her, it was because he did love her.

  I will honor the vows I make to her...

  An admirable sentiment but not the words she’d wanted to hear. Not what she needed from him.

  Saige exhaled a shuddery sigh as her thumb slipped out of her mouth, a signal that the little girl was truly and deeply asleep. Cassie reluctantly pushed herself out of the chair and touched her lips to the top of the baby’s head before she gently laid her in the crib and tucked her sock monkey under her arm.

  Then she walked across the hall to Braden’s room and the bed that she’d shared with him almost every night for the past several weeks. Peering through the window, she saw that his brother’s car was still in the driveway. Though it was much earlier than she usually went to bed, she put on her pajamas, picked up a book and crawled between the covers. And when Braden finally came upstairs, she pretended to be asleep.

  She heard his footsteps cross the floor, then he gently removed the book from her hand and set it on “her” bedside table before turning off the lamp. He moved away again, and she heard the quiet click of the bathroom door closing. A few minutes later, he crawled into bed with her, his arm automatically snaking around her waist and drawing her close, nestling their bodies together like spoons.

  She’d been surprised to discover that he liked to sleep snuggled up to her. He protested, vehemently, when she accused him of being a cuddler, so she stopped teasing him because it didn’t matter what he called it—the simple truth was that she slept so much better when she was in his arms. It was something that had become a habit far too easily and one that she would have to break. But not tonight.

  It didn’t take long for his breathing to settle into the slow, regular rhythm that told her he’d succumbed to slumber. And only then, when she was certain he was sleeping, did she let her tears fall, confident that they would dry by morning, leaving no evidence of her heartbreak on the pillowcase.

  Chapter Sixteen

  It was harder than she’d thought it would be to go through the motions the next day. She was distracted and unfocused at work, unable to concentrate on the most menial tasks. Though she hated to do it, she called Stacey to cover the Soc & Study group that night so that she could take some time at home and figure out her life and her future.

  Truthfully, she knew what she had to do, but that didn’t make the doing any easier. She loved Braden and Saige and she wanted nothing more than to be part of their family. She wanted to marry the man she loved, but she couldn’t marry a man who didn’t love her.

  She needed to
talk to Braden about the conversation she’d overheard, and she didn’t want to fall apart when she did. So she spent the afternoon at home with her cats, trying to prepare herself for the inevitable confrontation. But whenever she thought about saying goodbye, the tears would spill over again. When she reached for a tissue to wipe her nose, Buttercup jumped up onto the sofa and crawled into Cassie’s lap—which only made her cry harder. And Westley, who rarely paid attention to anything that wasn’t dinner, eventually took pity on her and crawled into her lap beside his sister, too.

  She gave them tinned food for dinner, because she figured they deserved a reward for their unsolicited support and comfort. And as she watched them chow down, she decided that maybe being a crazy cat lady wasn’t so bad.

  When they were finished eating, she knew that she’d stalled as long as she could. She dried her eyes again, got into her car and drove to Forrest Hill.

  “I thought you had the Soc & Study group tonight,” Braden said when he responded to the doorbell and found her standing on the porch. “And why didn’t you use your key?”

  “Stacey agreed to fill in for me,” she said, ignoring the second part of his comment.

  He stepped away from the door. “Are you hungry? Saige and I ate a while ago, but I can heat up some leftover lasagna for you.”

  She shook her head. “No, thanks.”

  “Well, I’m glad you’re here,” he said, his tone as sincere as the smile that tugged at her heart. “I got official notice from the court today that Lindsay withdrew her application to reverse the adoption.”

  “Oh, Braden, that is wonderful news,” she said, genuinely thrilled that he wouldn’t have to battle for custody of his daughter.

  “And to celebrate, Saige has been working on something for you.”

  At that revelation, her carefully rehearsed words stuck in her throat. “For me?”

  “Uh-huh.” He took her hand and led her into the living room where the little girl was playing at the train table. “Look who’s here, Saige.”

  The toddler looked up, her lips immediately stretching into a wide smile when she saw Cassie. “Ma-ma.”

  Cassie instinctively squeezed Braden’s hand as her throat constricted and her eyes filled with tears. Then she remembered why she was here, and she extricated her fingers from his.

  “P’ay?” Saige asked hopefully.

  “Not right now, sweetie.”

  Braden lifted a hand and gently brushed away the single tear that she hadn’t realized had escaped to slide down her cheek. “What’s wrong, Cassie?”

  She could only shake her head, because her throat was too tight for words.

  He took her hand again and led her to the sofa. “Tell me what’s going on. Please.”

  She drew in a slow, deep breath and lifted her gaze to his. “I need to ask you something.”

  “Anything,” he said.

  “Do you love me?”

  He drew back, instinctively and physically, which she recognized as his answer even before he said anything.

  “Where is this coming from?” he asked.

  “It’s a simple question,” she told him.

  “It’s a ridiculous question,” he said, obviously still attempting to dance around it. “I asked you to marry me—doesn’t that tell you how I feel about you?”

  “Maybe it should,” she acknowledged. “But I’d still like to hear it.”

  “I want to spend my life with you,” he told her, and he sounded sincere. But even if it was true, it wasn’t a declaration of love.

  “Because Saige needs a mother? Because I complete your family?”

  “Where is this coming from?” Braden asked again, his uneasiness growing as she tossed out questions he wasn’t sure he knew how to answer.

  “I heard you talking to your brother last night,” she admitted. “When you told him that you were marrying me to give Saige the family you’d promised she would have when you adopted her.”

  And to think that he’d actually been happy when his brother had moved back to town.

  “Why is it wrong to want a family for my daughter?” he said, still hoping to sidestep her concerns and smooth everything over.

  “It’s not,” she said. “In fact, many people would say it’s admirable. Especially the lengths to which you’re willing to go to give it to her.”

  “You’re losing me,” he told her. But even more frustrating was the realization that he was in danger of losing her.

  “Maybe I’m almost thirty years old, maybe I won’t ever have a better offer, but I want not just to fall in love, but to be loved in return. I want the fairy tale.” She slid her engagement ring off and set it on the table. “And I’m not willing to settle for anything less.”

  The sadness and resignation in her tone slayed him as much as her removal of the ring he’d put on her finger. “Cassie—”

  She shook her head. “Don’t.”

  “Don’t what?” he asked, torn between bafflement and panic.

  “Don’t tell me again that you care or that we’re really good together. Don’t tell me again that Saige adores me. Don’t paint rosy pictures of the future we can have together.” She looked at him, the tears in her eyes slicing like knives through his heart. “Please don’t tempt me to settle for less than I deserve, because I love you so much I might be willing to do it.”

  She was right. As much as Braden didn’t want to admit it, she was right. When he’d asked her to marry him, he’d been selfish. He’d been thinking only of what he wanted—for himself and his daughter. He’d wanted to give Saige the security of the family that he knew they could be if Cassie agreed to be his wife.

  And all the while that he’d been courting her, he’d known that he wasn’t going to fall in love with her. It was no defense that he’d warned her against falling in love with him—because he’d then done everything in his power to make her forget that warning.

  She did deserve more—so much more than he could give her. Because it was the only thing left to say, he finally said, “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I,” she told him. Then, with tears still shining in her eyes, she turned and walked away.

  And he let her go.

  “Ma-ma?” Saige said as the door closed behind Cassie.

  With a sigh, Braden lifted her into his lap and hugged her tight.

  Losing another mother will be a lot harder on your daughter than growing up without one.

  “I guess your uncle Ryan is smarter than he looks,” he said regretfully.

  But he knew the emptiness he felt inside wasn’t just for Saige. An hour earlier, he’d been looking toward his future with Cassie and his heart had been filled with hope and joy. Now he was looking at the ring she’d taken off her finger and he felt as cold and empty as the platinum circle on the glass table.

  * * *

  Megan dropped a pile of bridal magazines on Cassie’s desk when she came into the library Friday morning. “I’ve been planning my wedding for years and since I’m not any closer to finding a groom now than when I started, I thought you might want to look through these to get some ideas for your big day.”

  “Thanks,” Cassie said. “But I’m not going to need them.”

  “Don’t you dare tell me you’re planning to elope,” Megan warned.

  “No, we’re not planning to elope.”

  “You’re hiring a wedding planner,” was her coworker’s second guess.

  Cassie shook her head. “We’re not getting married.”

  Her friend stared at her, stunned. “What are you talking about?”

  “I gave Braden back his ring last night.”

  “What?” Megan’s gaze dropped to her now-bare left hand. “Why?”

  “Because I want to be someone’s first choice.”


  Her friend frowned. “Is this because he was married before?”

  “No. It’s because he doesn’t love me,” she admitted softly, her heart breaking all over again to admit the truth aloud.

  “Why would you say that?” Megan demanded.

  “Because it’s true.”

  “The man asked you to marry him,” her coworker reminded her.

  She nodded. “And fool that I was, it took me almost three weeks to realize that every time he talked about our future, he never once said that he loved me. Even when I said it first, he never said it back.”

  “A lot of men aren’t comfortable with the words,” Megan noted.

  “A man who claims he’s ready to commit himself in marriage should be.”

  Unable to dispute the truth of that, her friend picked up the pile of magazines again. “I’ll put these in the staff room...just in case.”

  Cassie didn’t argue, but she knew there wasn’t going to be any “just in case.” She also knew that the awkward and difficult conversation with Megan was only the first of many she would have over the next few weeks.

  The problem with sharing the happy news of her engagement with so many people was that she had to either pretend she was still happily engaged—albeit not wearing a ring—or admit that the shortest engagement in the history of the world was over.

  Okay, she knew that was probably an exaggeration. After all there were plenty of celebrity marriages that hadn’t even lasted as long as her engagement. Or at least one, she mentally amended, thinking of Britney Spears’s famous fifty-five hour nuptials.

  Of course, everyone had words of advice ranging from “give him another chance” to “you’ll find someone else.” Cassie knew they meant well, but no advice could heal a heart that was cracked wide-open.

  Almost as bad as the aching emptiness in her chest was the realization that she dreaded going into work Tuesday morning. When she woke up, she wanted to pull the covers over her head and pretend that she was sick so she could stay home with her cats and avoid seeing Braden’s mother and daughter. The apprehension was an uncomfortable weight in her belly, but it also helped her stiffen her spine. Because she loved her job and she wasn’t going to let a failed relationship take that joy from her.