Rocks Beat Paper

by Mike Knowles

“There’s an asshole here,” Johnny said.

  Miles leaned in towards the woman. “He means me.”

  She let an eyebrow lazily creep up about half an inch. “I gathered that.”

  “See what I mean,” Johnny said. “He won’t fucking stop. Maybe if there were a few less teeth in that mouth of his, he’d be a bit more careful about opening it.”

  Alvin sighed. “We don’t got time for this. You want to hear about the job, find a seat. You want to pick a fight, get the hell out of here and find a fucking bar.”

  “I don’t know about you, but I want to stay,” Miles said.

  Johnny looked at Tony. His partner returned the look with one of his own. There was some kind of communication in the exchange that only the two men understood. Whatever wasn’t said was enough to convince Johnny to stay and hear Alvin out. He stepped in close to Miles and jabbed a finger into his chest. “Just keep to the other side of the room.”

  The two men walked away from the table and found two chairs against one of the walls. The woman gave the two men a head start before she got up, pushed her chair back into place, and found a chair far away from Johnny and Tony.

  When it was just the two of us, I looked Miles in the eye. “Why are you here?”

  “Same reason as you.”

  “I’m here to work,” I said.

  “Same goes for me.”

  “That what you’re doing?”

  “What? Those guys are assholes.”

  “Those guys are here for the job.”

  “So?”

  “So the job is only the job if it gets done. That can’t happen if you get murdered with a pool cue in the middle of a rumpus room.”

  Miles clapped me on the shoulder. “So you do think this is a rumpus room.”

  “Don’t know. That makes two things I don’t know.”

  “What’s the other thing?”

  “If this is the only job you’re working,” I said.

  Miles went a beat without saying anything. It was long enough for me to let a bit of a grin form on my face and for him to rebound.

  “You really comfortable with guys like that watching your back?”

  I looked over the group of men as I considered my response. Alvin had gotten to his feet and was giving the room a once-over of his own. He worked hard to catch my eye, but I gave his stare the slip. “You want to work with upstanding citizens, go be a bank teller. The background checks weed out most of the riff-raff. Right now, you’re not in a bank, you’re in a basement with nine criminals. We’re all riff-raff. You’re sitting around hassling two guys because you think they’re not decent human beings. Your only concern should be if they can do what they say they can do. If they can do that, everything else they say gets a pass.”

  “So you want me to give them a pass?”

  “I want you to shut your mouth and keep your feelings to yourself because every time you piss them off you take their minds off the job and put the rest of us in a bit more shit.”

  “You really sticking up for that white-power asshole?”

  I nodded. “You want a noble thief, get a library card.”

  Alvin gave up on being subtle and spoke loud enough to be heard over the rest of the conversations going on. “We ready to get started?”

  Miles ignored the question; he had one of his own for me. “Do you really think you can trust those two to watch your back?”

  I looked over at Johnny and Tony and found them staring at me. I stared back until I got bored. It happened fast. “My back doesn’t need watching. I just need them to do what they say they’ll do.”

  “And you think they can?”

  I looked back at the two thugs. “I’m going to find out.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  “I just want to start things out by saying thank you to everybody for making it out here tonight.” Alvin’s head was just low enough to escape scraping against the drop ceiling. The inch or so of clearance should have made him cautious, but he moved without any apprehension or concern. He was comfortable in the basement, and, by association, comfortable with David. He went on. “My name is Vin, and I’m the one who reached out to all of you.”

  “So this is your job?” The question came from one of the men on the couch. He was a short paunchy man with skin the colour of tanned leather.

  “Mine and David’s. David is my brother-in-law,” Alvin said. “The job was his idea. He told me about it, I gave him some input, and we partnered up.”

  Another question from the man on the couch. “So, he’s a citizen.”

  “Yeah, but he’s family and I vouch for him. You can trust David. More importantly, you can trust the job. I’ve been over it a bunch of times and it’s got one hell of a payout.”

  “It’s going to have to. There are ten people here.” This came from the couch, but not from the same man. He was seated beside the first speaker and shared the man’s features and stature, but not his age. The second man was much younger. The heavy mustache he wore showed no signs of the grey evident in the other man’s stubble.

  I pegged the two men as blood relatives. The age difference made father and son a knee-jerk assumption, but I dismissed it. The younger man showed no deference to the other man when he spoke his mind. Conversely, he showed no sign of disrespect to his counterpart when he spoke out either. He wasn’t petulantly trying to assert himself into the conversation to prove he was an equal — he was an equal. The relationship wasn’t paternal; it was fraternal.

  “Look, I know everybody has their concerns. Let’s save them until the end. Hear David out and then decide what you think. Okay?”

  There were a couple of grunts from around the room that Alvin chose to interpret as agreement. He moved away from the television, and his brother-in-law took his place.

  “Before I get started, I want to remind everyone that there is beer and food if you want it.”

  “It’s not a PTA meeting,” the older man on the couch said. When he spoke, he didn’t check the room to see if others shared his opinion. It was a play for dominance — a challenge to the two men who had called the meeting. I wasn’t sure if all the chest beating was intentional, or just a knee-jerk reaction. You put enough rough men in a room, there’s going to be friction. I sighed. Counting the alphas was just more homework.

  “Diego, is it?” David asked.

  Both men on the couch said, “Yes,” at the same time.

  “I’m sorry,” David said. “I’m confused. I meant him.” David gestured with his chin towards the older of the two men. “You’re Diego, right?”

  The older of the two men nodded.

  “Right,” David said. “Got it.” He focused on the younger man. “So, he’s Diego, and you’re —”

  “Diego.”

  David laughed. “Diego.”

  The man nodded.

  “You’re both named Diego?”

  “Si,” the older Diego said. I labelled him Diego #1. “It was our father’s name.” There was steel in his voice. It was the kind of steel that had been forged from repeated fights over the subject. “Is there a problem?” David flushed instantly. “No, it’s just — I just —”

  On the couch, the two men broke into wide smiles that exposed an abundance of white teeth. “I’m just kidding. I know it’s fucked up.”

  David’s flush bloomed and began to fade. “It’s really fucked.” The chuckle he had managed to generate died in his throat.

  “Hey, we get to say that. He was our father. You, on the other hand, are calling our legacy fucked, gringo.”

  The room went quiet for a few seconds before David pointed at Diego #1 and let out a laugh. “You’re messing with me again, right?”

  “No,” Diego #1 said. “I most definitely am not. Now why don’t you get on with what you turned off the basketball game to say before you really step in
it?”

  “Okay,” David said. “We can do the rest of the introductions later.” He clicked the mouse and an image of a red-brick building appeared. “This is Mendelson Jewels. I work at Mendelson as a jewellery designer.”

  “Never heard of it,” Johnny said from his side of the room. It was his turn to piss on the carpet and mark his territory.

  “Few have,” David agreed. “Mendelson’s clients are very wealthy and very private. There are a number of celebrities who buy pieces from us exclusively.”

  “Anyone we’d know?” Johnny asked.

  David said a name and Johnny screwed up his face in thought. “Never heard of her.”

  “I know her,” Miles said. “She won an Oscar.”

  “And wore Mendelson on the red carpet.”

  “I saw that, too,” Miles said.

  “Shocker,” Johnny called across the small space.

  Miles opened his mouth, but he shut it when I shook my head.

  “We operate by appointment only, and we make everything in-house.”

  “That must put a lot of diamonds in one place,” Diego #1 said.

  “Not as a rule. Often we buy specifically for commissions. But this month is different.”

  “Different how?” Diego #1 asked.

  “There is a new movie festival at the end of the month. You probably heard about it.”

  Miles nodded and Johnny snorted.

  David went on. “The Central Park Movie Festival was set up by a group of A-list Hollywood players, and it has received an unbelievable amount of press. I doubt there will be a movie star left in L.A. while it’s going on. That kind of presence has put a huge demand on us for pieces to sell and loan. The studio safes will be loaded for the next month.”

  “How much are we talking about?” Johnny asked.

  “Ballpark — ten million.”

  “Holy shit,” Johnny said.

  “Big pie,” Diego said. “But there are a lot of slices to cut.”

  “A mill apiece,” Tony said. “That’s still a hell of a score.”

  I watched Johnny count the bodies in the room and nod when he confirmed his partner’s math.

  Diego #1 shook his head. “That million apiece still needs to be fenced, cowboy. We rob Hollywood, and the score will be so hot you’ll need sunglasses just to look at it. The fence will know that and he’ll charge for it. Suddenly a million ain’t a million anymore.”

  Tony’s face reddened. He didn’t like being made to look like a fool. “Still a hell of a score.”

  “Maybe,” Diego #1 said.

  Diego #2 leaned forward. “You got a fence lined up?”

  David nodded.

  Diego looked unconvinced. “You got a guy who can move ten million in stones?”

  David shook his head. “I have three men willing to fence what we take. Between them, the cost is not an issue.”

  “And what will it take to hire these three men with deep pockets?” Diego #1 asked.

  “Thirty percent,” David said.

  “Fuck that,” Johnny said. “We’re supposed to be the ones doing the robbing. Thirty! We’re talking about moving diamonds, not nuclear weapons.”

  “The kind of people who can move this calibre of product aren’t running street-corner shops. They’re big players taking on a great deal of risk.”

  “You tell me who these guys are, and I’ll get them down to a reasonable cut,” Johnny said.

  “I — I don’t think that’s wise.”

  “And losing thirty percent is? Listen, maybe this is something you should let a pro handle. It’s not like buying a car.”

  David opened his mouth to say something, but he couldn’t find the words.

  Johnny pressed him again. “You know I’m right.”

  David, mouth still open, looked at his brother-in-law.

  Alvin leaned forward and let his elbows rest on his knees. “The kind of weight we’re talking about moving has to be done by people in David’s line of work. We need to work through them, and they won’t work through you.”

  Johnny snorted. “Yeah, we’ll see about that. You give me their names and see how long we’re losing thirty.”

  Diego #1 lifted his hands. “We’re getting ahead of ourselves. We need to hear how this job is going to work before we start arguing about how to cash out.”

  “You’re right,” David said. He seemed happy to get off the topic of fencing the diamonds. He clicked the laptop keyboard, and the TV displayed a new image of the brick building. There was no sign posted out front; the only identifying markers were a few brass numbers posted above the door, an intercom, and a security camera.

  “Can you zoom in on those?” The question came from a man on the couch. He was a third of the men on the couch, but he occupied close to half the space. He was midforties in age and in the high two hundreds in weight. His girth filled out an extra-large sweater that had pilled in almost every conceivable place. The rough sweater had collected a bounty of hair, dirt, and crumbs that rivaled the bathroom floor of an hourly rate motel.

  “Yes, I have more shots of that. Just give me a second.” David opened a folder on his desktop and I noticed the high number of images it contained. He scrolled through the file folder until he found the thumbnail he was interested in. A close-up of the surveillance camera popped up on the television screen. The man crowding the couch leaned forward and peered at the new image through dirty wire-rimmed glasses. “And the intercom?”

  David went back to the laptop, and a few seconds later the camera was replaced by an ornate keypad. Everyone watched who had to be our tech guy as he looked over the screen. He scrutinized the picture before using his hands on his knees to wedge himself back against the couch cushions.

  “Can you also show me the computer that the camera and intercom feed into? I’ll also need to see the router and where the hard lines are located.”

  “Fuck, I am going to fall asleep,” Johnny said. “Can we save the geek talk until the end?”

  “That okay with you, Elliot?” Alvin asked.

  “Yes, it’s okay with Elliot,” Johnny said. He answered with the kind of assurance that could only be gained after a lifetime of pushing guys like Elliot around. “Take us inside.”

  The next slide was of the door. “The door is wired into the alarm, obviously, and it’s heavy. Saul had it custom made. Everything is custom made.”

  “You have keys?” Diego #1 asked.

  Everyone looked at him.

  “Not a stupid question,” he said.

  “Only Saul has keys,” David said.

  “Alarm passcode?”

  David shook his head.

  “Our inside man doesn’t seem to be so inside. How about we just call him ‘man’?”

  “Keep going, David,” Alvin said.

  “Beyond the door is reception. There is another door there leading to the showroom.” David clicked the keypad and we saw a small waiting room with a desk on one side and two couches and a coffee table on the other.

  “That other door like the first?” Diego #1 asked.

  David nodded.

  “Can the receptionist open the doors?”

  David said, “Yes, she can use her computer to see who is outside. Once she verifies who they are over the intercom, she lets them in and contacts Saul. When he’s ready, she buzzes them through to the showroom.”

  David tapped the computer keyboard and the showroom appeared. The dark hardwood floor reflected the light from the glass cases positioned around the room. I counted four cases arranged in a long C shape: one for bracelets, one for necklaces, one for earrings, and a final longer case for rings.

  Everyone in the room was quiet while they took in the images. The cases weren’t packed — if anything, they were sparse — but the limited number of items inside the case
s were spectacular. The work was intricate and the materials opulent and expensive. The pieces were impressive, but so were the cases. Diego #1 noticed the latter almost right away.

  “That a keypad on the case?”

  David nodded. “The hinges have pneumatic motors built into them. If you key in the correct numbers, the cases will open themselves. Plus, the glass is —”

  “Custom,” Miles said.

  “I’m told,” David said, “that they can take a bullet without shattering.”

  “So how do we get into them?” Johnny asked. “Do you have the codes for the cases, or does our resident Poindexter have to open each one?”

  Elliot ignored the insult. “It could be done if time wasn’t an issue. Is time an issue?”

  David shrugged. “We have all night.”

  A few people nodded their heads.

  “Provided,” David added, “the security system was dealt with first.”

  “So we have to find our way around the doors and the cases,” Diego #1 said. “Any other problems we need to know about?”

  “We still need to talk about the security guards,” David said.

  “Holy shit,” Diego #1 said. “Guards, too?”

  “Could be worse,” Miles said. “I thought he was going to say there was a moat.”

  “Mendelson’s doesn’t employ on-site guards at night,” David said. “But, there is a security company contracted to do nightly rounds. They aren’t exclusive to Mendelson; they cover a number of other jewellers in the area as well. I timed his route out. We have fifteen minutes between passes. If we can get in without setting off the alarm, there won’t be any problems.”

  “There is a problem,” Diego #1 said. “If that alarm gets disabled, that security guard will check the premises.”

  “They’ll put a call in to your boss, too,” Diego #2 added. “So even if we stay quiet, there’s no guarantee someone won’t come down and check inside.”

  “I agree,” David said. “It sounds bad. That’s why we found someone who could handle the computers.”

  Everyone looked at Elliot. He gave it some thought before he opened his mouth. “You having access to everything inside means we could run a program that would let me inside remotely. Then, we can rig the system so that it doesn’t register the alarm.”