Meant-to-Be Baby

by Lois Richer

  Victoria blushed, knowing it was true.

  “There’s a fourth sister, isn’t there?” Ben asked.

  “Gemma. She’s a tour guide to exotic places.” Jake paused, stared into the distance. “When she’s not traveling, tour companies pay her to speak about their tours. She donates that speaking fee to Habitat For Humanity. She likes nothing better than hands-on helping.”

  Victoria thought there was something about Jake’s words that seemed private, as if they’d been pulled from him.

  “Why would Gemma come back here?” Ben wondered aloud.

  “Don’t know yet. But she will.” Jake turned away.

  Guilt suffused Victoria over eavesdropping. She slammed the door then stomped her feet.

  “Hello? Anyone here?”

  “Over here,” Ben called. “Talking about you.” He laughed at her arched eyebrow. “Jake was just saying you and your foster sisters are all givers, like your aunts.”

  “They are. That’s why their idea for The Haven will succeed,” Jake murmured. “Also because it’s a good idea.”

  “I dropped Mikey off at his new friend, Garnet’s, house.” Victoria noticed the gift Ben and Jake had been talking about had disappeared. “The aunts have gone to a ninetieth birthday party. They’ll pick up Mikey on the way home.”

  “This afternoon’s gonna be quiet without everyone around. I don’t like that. I think too much.” Jake’s voice held a dark, haunted quality. “Guess I’ll go chop some firewood.”

  “Let me know if I can help,” Ben said. “I’d rather work than sit around any day.”

  “Appreciate that,” Jake said and grinned at Victoria. “I have a hunch that’s why this one’s stopped by. Heard she intends to throw a thank-you dinner for all the volunteers who helped us out with the cabins. We must have had over forty Chokecherry Hollow folks show up to help. Big dinner. See you.” He left.

  Over forty people? Victoria hadn’t realized there’d be so many when the aunts suggested a party.

  “Not that I doubt you can do it,” Ben said as they trudged through the snow back to the main house. “You have an overdose of gritty determination. But how do you go about feeding that many people?”

  “Lots and lots of help.” Victoria grimaced at her squealing phone. Then she smiled. “It’s Adele. Hey, Sis. Next Thursday?” She shrugged out of her coat, smiling her thanks at him before checking the pile of papers stacked on the table. “Next Thursday works. Over forty, Jake thinks. Nobody cooks like you, Adele. If you’re sure you can—really?”

  She couldn’t help grinning like a kid as her sister laid out her plans. Catching Ben’s scrutiny, she winked at him, elated that she wouldn’t have to manage on her own. “Ben will help me with all that. If you can manage the menu, I’ll be thrilled. Just let me know what you need. Thank you, Sis.”

  Victoria sobered at Adele’s questions about the missing Thea, the knot in her stomach twisting tighter.

  “Nobody’s seen her. She hasn’t shown up here, and I’m getting really worried. Where could she be? Yeah, I’ll keep praying.” Judging by Ben’s face, when she completed her phone call, he’d drifted off into some world far away from The Haven. “Hey.” Victoria nudged his shoulder. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes.” But he looked sad. “I was listening to you and thinking that’s what I miss most about losing Neil and Alice. There’s nobody to share with anymore, even if we did mostly communicate through email and texts.” He shrugged. “About this party. Ever heard of overdoing?”

  “Yes, but I’ll be fine. And you can always share family with me.” She blushed under his intense regard before bending her head and shuffling papers. “Anyway, I really want to do this for the aunts. Everyone’s been so kind and helpful to them.”

  “It’s also the perfect opportunity to announce The Haven’s newest venture to the community. So tell me what I can help with.”

  Overly aware of the big, smiling soldier seated across from her, Victoria outlined Adele’s dinner plan.

  “Wow! That’s no half-baked, spur-of-the-moment meal,” he said. “Sorry. What I should say is I admire how considerate you’re being, showing appreciation to people who are important to Tillie and Margaret. I like how you tackle everything with a give-it-my-best attitude, even if it means going above and beyond. I’ll gladly help.”

  Victoria blushed even darker at this praise, glad that Ben was too busy making a list of details to notice her burning cheeks. They were discussing the buffet when someone knocked on the back door.

  Hope simmered as Victoria jumped to her feet and raced to throw open the big oak door, Ben hot on her heels. A thin, bedraggled girl who looked about twelve, clad in shabby jeans and a bomber jacket, which offered little protection against the Canadian winter, stood shivering in the entrance.

  “Thea! Come in. You look frozen.” Victoria hauled the now-weeping girl into her arms and drew her into the kitchen. “Where have you been, honey? We’ve been worried sick.”

  Ben closed the door, put on the kettle and then left to find one of Tillie’s afghans while Victoria grabbed a towel and briskly rubbed the half-frozen waif. Relief and irritation vied for supremacy.

  Thea poured out the story of her journey as she shook off her coat and thin boots. Victoria swathed her in the afghan before phoning the social worker and Thea’s sisters. That done, she sat down in front of her, held out a brimming mug of hot cocoa and began to speak.

  “What were you thinking, Thea? You can’t just up and run away when life gets tough.” Suddenly aware that was exactly what she’d done, Victoria glanced sideways at Ben, who simply smiled encouragement. Relieved, Victoria continued to gently remonstrate with the young girl. “Everyone has been so worried about you, especially your foster family. You made them frantic.”

  “I d-didn’t know you were so far away. I didn’t think it would be so hard to get here.” Between sobs and shivers, Thea told of her long trip to The Haven and the reason behind her sudden flight.

  “You put us through this, worrying you were hurt or injured, or worse, because someone made fun of your jeans?” Victoria asked in disbelief, trying not to sound too harsh. “But, sweetheart, haters are everywhere. You can’t always run away.”

  Ben edged toward the door, probably to give them some privacy, but Victoria needed him here, to support her.

  “Don’t go, Ben. I should have introduced you. This is Thea, one of my Little Sisters. The one we went searching for,” she added with emphasis. “Thea, this is Ben.”

  “Hi.” She nodded at Ben. “I knew it was a mistake as soon as I left the city, but I figured I’d look stupid going back so soon,” she muttered.

  “It’s never stupid to admit you made a mistake, Thea. What is stupid is to keep on making it. Believe me, I know.” She shared a look with Ben. “Ben and his nephew, Mikey, are staying at The Haven for a while. I’m sure Ben understands the urge to run.”

  “Huh?” Thea looked confused.

  “Ben’s a peacekeeper in Africa. I’d guess he gets lots of threats. Some of the people he’s protecting probably don’t think they need him there,” Victoria explained. “But he doesn’t run away no matter how hard it gets. He stands his ground.”

  Seeing Ben’s appreciative smile made her realize she hadn’t given enough thought to the difficulty of his job. She’d think more about that later, she decided, as he sat down and tried to look inconspicuous while Victoria refocused on her Little Sister.

  “You’re too smart to quit, Thea, and you have too much to offer to just give up and walk away because some dweeb at school made fun of you. But that’s not really why you ran away, is it?” She leaned forward and grasped the girl’s hands. “Tell me what’s going on, honey.”

  “I want my family.” Fresh tears burst from Thea. Her voice broke as she sobbed. “I want to be with my sisters, to have my own home. I want it to be the way it was.”

  “Oh, Thea.” Victoria’s heart broke as she enveloped the girl in her arms, offering comfort a
nd an outlet for what had clearly been building for a while. “I know you do. But running away doesn’t help. Deep in your heart you know that.”

  “But—”

  “Sweetheart, your mom can’t be the mother you want. At least not right now. She has to get herself straightened out.” After a moment, Victoria eased Thea away and scooped her stringy hair out of her eyes. “I know you think nothing will ever be right again. But it will, if you’re patient, if you look at what you have instead of what you don’t. The Larsons love you, Thea. They’re trying to help.”

  “They can’t.” Defiance filled the statement.

  “Not if you won’t let them.” Victoria rubbed away the tears with her thumb. “Mrs. Larson isn’t trying to replace your mother. She only wants to give you a comfortable, safe place to stay until your mom gets better.”

  “Why? What am I to her?” Thea demanded.

  “A girl who, for a little while, needs a home.” Victoria’s soft response oozed love. “She’s not trying to take anything. She’s trying to give you something. Love.”

  “So I’ll love her and forget about my mom.”

  Victoria caught Ben’s smile at Thea’s indignation.

  “No!” she laughed, stemming her exasperation. “So you’ll have a chance to become all you can be in spite of the problems in your family. Love isn’t either-or, Thea. You can love more than one person. Otherwise you could only love one of your sisters.”

  “I guess,” the girl said uncertainly.

  “Loving Mrs. Larson doesn’t take a thing away from the love you feel for your mom.” Victoria spoke firmly. “You are not betraying your mother—you’re showing that she raised you with a mature heart that can allow love to blossom and expand in your life, to enrich you and the people around you. But love can’t grow when you’re afraid.”

  Judging by Thea’s frown, she wasn’t buying everything she heard. But Victoria wasn’t giving up. This was too important.

  “We’ll have supper in an hour or so, but I’m guessing you’re hungry now?” Thea’s strong affirmative response made her chuckle. “There’s a bowl of leftover soup in the fridge. I’ll heat that for you.”

  Just as Thea finished her soup the aunts returned with Mikey in tow. After introductions, the smiling seniors embraced Thea, warmly welcoming her to The Haven. While Mikey was telling Thea and Ben about his afternoon with his new friend, Garnet, Aunt Margaret cornered Victoria.

  “How long will Thea be staying?”

  “Not sure, Auntie. Her caseworker will probably get her as soon as she can.” Victoria’s troubled gaze rested on the girl. “Poor girl. She’s stuck on how her family was and on getting that back.”

  “Is that likely to happen?” Margaret studied Victoria with an inscrutable expression.

  “I’d say very unlikely after speaking to her social worker.” Victoria touched her aunt’s arm, her eyes pleading. “I want to spend as much time as I can with her, Auntie. Maybe if we talk long enough, she’ll start to see that she needs to look ahead, not back.”

  “Take all the time you need, dear.” Margaret’s eyes sparkled. “Looking ahead is good advice for all of us.” She noticed Ben watching them and chuckled. “You think Tillie and I are too old to look ahead very far, don’t you, son?”

  “Not at all.” Ben’s cheeks darkened telling Victoria that’s exactly what he’d thought.

  “Old age is a funny thing. You don’t feel any differently than you did at twenty, except for the creaking joints.” She mimed a wince as she bent her elbow. “But perspective changes with age. The older I get, the less life is about me. Now I’m focused on the future and the shape I’ll leave the world for those who follow me.”

  “Old age is having a light shine on issues you didn’t give much thought to before,” Tillie agreed, joining the conversation. “You try to follow God’s directions in hopes you can facilitate bringing the next generations closer to Him.”

  “I understand.” Ben studied the pair. “You’ve determined that a refuge for foster kids can help do that so you’re trying to create it.”

  “How could it be easier to get in touch with God than here in the glory of His creation?” Tilly wondered.

  “All it takes is a leader.” Margaret studied Victoria. “And we have a very capable one right here.”

  “Whoa, Aunties.” Victoria frowned. “This isn’t a done deal. We’ve got a long way to go to bring your imaginations to life.”

  “You’ve already accomplished more than we ever thought possible.” Margaret’s gaze swerved to Thea, who was laughing at Mikey’s story about his friend. “And I believe God just sent us a test subject.”

  Victoria blinked, turned to look at Thea and then at her aunts. Finally her gaze rested on Ben. “You think?” she whispered.

  “We all think,” Tillie answered for everyone.

  “The Lord works in mysterious ways,” Margaret added. “We gave Him The Haven years ago and He keeps bringing seeking souls to us.”

  Victoria smiled at Ben, seeing his amusement at being called a seeking soul. But then, in some ways, so was she.

  Only problem was, Victoria wasn’t exactly sure what she was seeking—forgiveness, a future? Love?

  That last one made her rush to prepare supper. She didn’t want to consider love, and the future was still a mystery, especially to the aunts who didn’t yet know about her baby.

  But Ben had been a good friend whom she’d needed. The problem was, Victoria couldn’t keep needing him because sooner or later, Ben was leaving.

  And then she’d be a mother, on her own.

  Chapter Seven

  “It seems Thea’s here for the weekend, at least until her social worker can get away to fetch her,” Victoria murmured after closing her phone. She stared at Ben. “What are you doing?”

  “Mending.” Ben glanced up from weaving the needle and yarn through the heel of his sock and grinned at her. “Don’t look so surprised. Mending’s not rocket science.”

  “It is to me.” Victoria’s expression of distaste made him chuckle. “When my socks get holes, I chuck ’em.”

  “Not so easy to get socks like this in Africa. These are the best to wear with combat boots, but they’re pricey.” He paused to tie off his yarn before reminding her, “I’m trying to save every penny for the computer business I hope to open one day.”

  “Speaking of computers—you saw that?” Victoria inclined her head toward the fridge where Margaret had left a scrawled message attached by a magnet.

  “That the seniors’ center is having trouble with their computer—again? Yes.” What Ben couldn’t see was a trace of color in Victoria’s cheeks. How long did morning sickness last, anyway? He needed to get a book on the subject and bone up on the issues Victoria would face so he’d know how to help.

  “And?” Victoria’s impatient voice drew him back to reality.

  “I thought I’d check it out after my doctor’s appointment.” Ben was relieved that at least she was sipping a glass of orange juice. “If I can catch a ride into town with whomever is taking Mikey to story time at the library.”

  “I’ll take you. I’m doing the reading.” She ruffled the little boy’s hair and laughed at his uncle’s surprise. “You don’t think I can read, Ben?” she teased.

  “I thought you’d be up to your neck with stuff here.” He lowered his voice. “Victoria, you look tired. Are you sure you’re not taking on too much?”

  “Reading a story to little kids is not work.” She ignored his raised eyebrows and finished her juice. “If it makes you feel better, Thea is coming along. She’s researching an assignment for school about story time. She’ll help if I need it.” Her tone clearly said she wouldn’t.

  Ben searched her face once more. But noting the resolution in her gray eyes, he gave up arguing. Instead he sat beside her on the window seat and pursued a different subject.

  “Your aunts are entertaining a couple of ‘guests’ today,” he said in a lowered voice. “So maybe it’
s a good thing we’ll be out of the way.”

  “Another couple. Do you know anything about them?” Victoria’s curiosity made her gray eyes darken.

  “Tillie only said this couple has been wanting to adopt for a while. Which has me worried,” he admitted.

  “Why?” Victoria shot him a quizzical look before reaching for a stack of papers. She slid them into a turquoise leather pouch, which she then laid on a corner of the kitchen counter. “I thought you wanted parents for—” Her head tilted toward Mikey.

  “I do,” he assured her quickly. “But the way your aunts talk about this couple makes them sound older.”

  “So?” Victoria shrugged. “Older couples are often more established, more likely to have the resources to travel, which is,” she reminded, “what you said you wanted.”

  “Yes, but I wasn’t thinking of four-star hotel kind of travel.” Immediately a picture filled Ben’s mind. “Will an older couple want to camp out under the stars to see the northern lights? Or go canoeing? Or be willing to fight mosquitoes in the woods to see God’s amazing creatures up close and personal?”

  Funny how each of the scenarios he pictured included Victoria.

  “Ben.” Her gently chiding voice did funny things to his breathing. “I think you’re setting yourself and my aunts up for failure if you’re expecting these couples to parent exactly as you would.” Her glance trailed to Mikey who was racing cars across the tabletop, oblivious to them.

  “I don’t expect to parent at all.”

  “Ever?” She frowned. “I thought it was only Mikey—you never want to marry or have your own children?”

  “I don’t think I’m equipped for that responsibility.”

  “But what about the love of a family?” Victoria’s troubled tone mirrored her solemn questions. “To have someone special in your world? To be that person in theirs? Are you willing to let your fear of responsibility cheat you out of the gift of love?”

  “It’s not fear,” he informed her as he clenched his jaw.

  But as they rode into town half an hour later, Ben knew that was a lie. He was desperately afraid of love, afraid it would overpower him, put him into a situation that would mean relinquishing the control he’d clung to for years, control he’d used to keep his world on an even track.