Snow didn’t scoot over when Jude brought the heated food with him to the bed. It was cold in this apartment and he wanted to steal some of Jude’s warmth. The man exuded it like he’d been born on the sun. As soon as he was settled under the covers, Snow threw his thigh over Jude’s. “Only one fork?”
“My mouth has been on most of your delicious body and I have every intention of hitting the rest at some point. Often. So, we can share.” He stuck the fork into the mac and cheese, then held it out.
Before Snow could take it, Jude pulled it back.
“Wait.” He blew on the food.
Snow’s heart stuttered. Then he felt like an idiot for being affected by something so small.
Only, it wasn’t really small. Snow honestly didn’t know how to take this man. Hot, he got. Fantastic in bed, he got. Hell, even that dominant streak, he got—and usually had himself. But there were so many other layers to the man. Tender, possessive, caring layers that made Snow feel things he wasn’t sure how to handle. For the life of him, he couldn’t figure out why Jude was throwing all the…loving, okay, it was definitely loving gestures his way. And he did it like he truly believed Snow deserved it.
People didn’t coddle Snow. Ian spoiled him at times but that was different. Ian had this sweet, almost perfect nature. Like Ian, Jude had that natural caretaker instinct, but his came with more of a possessive he-man mentality that Snow had no idea would turn him on so very much.
He made Snow want things he’d never truly admitted—not even to himself.
“You know you want it,” Jude taunted.
Snow blinked and realized Jude had been holding the fork to his mouth. Snow hesitated, unable to open his mouth and be fed like that.
Jude chuckled, how voice low. “General, I was balls deep in your ass fifteen minutes ago. Share a fork with me.”
“It’s not sharing the fork,” he muttered but he took the bite. With a glare.
“I know.” Jude outright laughed as he stuck the fork back in the dish, then awkwardly leaned down to kiss Snow hard on the mouth. “I find your natural prickly nature hot as Hell. Did I tell you that?”
“You didn’t have to. You came after me, remember? I know exactly why everyone calls me the surgeon general at work. Don’t give a shit, either.”
“Yeah, you do.” He took a bite of food then held out another forkful for Snow. “Feeding a hot, naked doctor in my bed is one of my all-time favorite fantasies.”
“Really?” Snow murmured between chews. He smirked. “I bet what you’re feeding him doesn’t usually come on the end of a fork.”
“We’ll get around to that next dish soon. First, we’re going to try and cram into my ridiculous shower. It’s time we share personal things about each other and one of my biggest kinks after wall sex is shower sex.”
“Your definition of kink and mine differ greatly.”
“You know, I’ve heard that about you.”
Snow frowned. He’d never cared before, what a man in his bed had heard about him or thought about him. But he’d never really had a man in his bed like this. More than a couple of times—sharing food and tender touches. “Before or after we got together.”
“Before. Nothing concrete, General, so don’t start worrying. But there was a rumor or two floating around the hospital about you being rough—and recently when you showed up with bruises, they started back up again.”
He knew he needed to explain, he just wasn’t sure how. “I like sex in all its forms, but I—” He paused, twisted his lips into a self-deprecating smirk. “I have a few anger issues.”
Jude didn’t say anything, just watched him quietly.
“Yeah, so not surprising and we’ve touched on that before. I don’t even know how to explain because I don’t understand myself.” He held his breath, wanting to share for the first time in his life and getting the words to actually pass his lips took a few moments. “I didn’t have it easy growing up. Not that a lot of gay men did, but my family was overly religious.”
“They beat you?”
“Sometimes.” Snow shrugged. “Mostly they just shouted and prayed and generally made me feel like I wasn’t worth the air they breathed. My father…he found me utterly disgusting. He was so ignorant. So, so ignorant.” He shifted on the bed, not able to tell him about his mother. Not yet. “There was this one time he actually took Lucas and me to lunch at a fast food place. Lucas was a confident teen—overprotective.”
“I could see that.”
“It was before I’d told my father I was gay, but he knew. The kid ringing up our order was someone we kind of knew from high school and he’d been beaten. He was so effeminate, everyone knew he was gay. I always felt bad for him because he couldn’t hide as well as guys like me. He looked so bad that day. His lips were purple and swollen and one of his eyes wouldn’t even open.”
Jude tugged him closer.
Snow settled against his chest. “My father actually told us that the kid’s face had swelled because he’d given someone a blowjob.”
“And gotten beat up?”
“No, that God had punished him for doing it. Like it was some kind of spiritual allergic reaction to actually putting his mouth on someone’s dick.”
Jude growled. “That’s such bullshit.”
“What’s sad is to this day, I don’t know if he said that to try and scare me into being straight or if he really believed that. He believed the most incredibly stupid things.”
Jude gave him another bite of food. Snow, remembering what happened next that day, barked out a laugh. “Lucas called him an idiot, then asked the kid out on a date. Right in front of him.” He shook his head. “After that, he did his best to keep me away from Lucas.” He’d done worse. He’d confined Snow to his room, only letting him out for school and the praying relatives. He’d been a ghost in his own home for years.
“I somehow doubt either you or Lucas put up with that.”
“We sneaked out all the time. Lucas even stole into my room to stay with me some nights. I think he thought he could fight off the old man when the booze finally made him brave enough to pull out his fists.” He hadn’t meant to admit to that part, so he shut up. But he thought about the other reason Lucas sneaked into his room. His arrogance had been strong, even back then, and he’d thought he could stop the nightmares of Snow’s mother just by being there. And when that hadn’t worked, he’d done just as he had the other night. He’d crawled into Snow’s bed and held him.
Jude was quiet a long time before he asked. “Were the two of you lovers?”
“No. Just brothers.” He stared at Jude, who gave him a sweet smile as he held out another forkful of food. He’d had one sexual experience with Lucas but it hadn’t been lover-like in the least so he didn’t feel like he was lying.
They shared the mac and cheese until Snow held up a hand and groaned. “No more.” He rolled onto his back. The fork clattered as Jude set the dish on the small table next to his bed/couch. He scooched down under the cover and propped up on his side. Nerves tore through Snow’s stomach. He’d never talked so much to someone in bed before, never shared that much of his past. Jude reached out and cupped his cheek, his expression far too serious.
Snow took in the black stubble already filling the man’s square jaw, the dark eyes staring at him. He needed to lighten up the mood. For Jude’s sake. The man was wearing his empathy for Snow’s pain like a noose. Snow pushed him onto his back and rolled on top of him, the corner of his mouth going up. Jude’s hair was so thick and messy, it looked like it was trying to escape his head. He bet Jude looked cute in the mornings all sleepy with his escape hair. He should stay through morning this time, wake up to all this scruffy warmth. “Feel like proving you don’t have an allergy to my dick?”
Jude nodded as he slowly grinned. “Oh yeah, General, but first, let’s see if we can get creative in a small, wet space.”
By the time they crashed back under the covers, Jude had not only proved he didn’t have an all
ergy, but he’d probably managed to work off every bite of that damn mac and cheese.
###
“What the hell, doc? It’s two o’clock in the morning. You’re taking this new friendship to places I don’t wanna go.” Hollis’s voice, low and gritty with sleep, rumbled over the line.
Snow patted his pocket and realized he must have dropped his keys somewhere. “Hold on a second,” he said into the phone before quietly moving back into the apartment. He’d called Hollis in the stairwell. The temperature had finally warmed in the room and he could see one of Jude’s long, bare, muscled legs out of the covers—his foot dangling off the edge of the bed.
“Really?”
The disbelieving growl came from his phone and he ignored it as he searched for his keys. He hesitated only when Jude shifted on the bed. Snow walked over to see that he’d rolled toward the spot Snow had left, his arm out as if he’d been searching for Snow in his sleep. His thick, dark hair was already sticking up all over the place and Snow couldn’t stop his small smile. Jude had mentioned after their shower how much he hated the way the black strands took on a mind of their own during the night, but Snow found it…sweet. He rolled his eyes, kind of disgusted with himself. But he couldn’t help the thought and it was one that came often now. His heart sort of stuttered. He wanted to crawl back into that warm bed, curl around all those warm muscles, and stroke his fingers through that crazy hair. He’d wanted to wake with him as he’d planned.
Gidget’s call changed those plans.
For a moment, he thought about waking him to tell him what he was doing. When he realized he was hesitating over fear for Jude’s safety, he backed away from the bed. Jude had been put into danger enough because of him.
“Doc?” Hollis yelled from the phone he still held by his hip.
Snow couldn’t answer. He was too busy trying not to pass out over the knowledge creeping into his mind. He had fallen for Jude. Hard. He was completely, head-over-heels in love with the man.
“Doc, you there or what? It’s two in the morning and I was getting my first night of sleep in days.”
Being on the phone with the annoying cop while realizing his life was about to change amused him enough to snap him out of it. He spotted his keys, grabbed them, hesitated, then grabbed Jude’s. After one last glance at the man sleeping in the bed, he made sure the apartment was locked behind him. He hit the stairwell, jogged down and ran toward his car. Jude had been thoughtful enough to swing by Lucas’s first to allow him to get his car so Snow wouldn’t feel trapped at Jude’s. The man was far too perceptive at times.
The nagging feeling over that address came back to him and he lifted the phone only to hear the cop cursing along with the sounds of clothes rustling.
“I’m back. Sorry, couldn’t find my keys.” He unlocked his car, got in and tossed the phone into the passenger seat when it automatically hooked up to the Bluetooth.
“So is there a reason for this two a.m. call?”
“Yeah,” he breathed as he slowed at a red light. “Gidget called me because she tracked down Gratton. Something about suspicious computer use, IP address, and other stuff I was too tired to catch. She gave me an address. I need to put it into my GPS and I called because—” All of a sudden, the nagging feeling clicked. “Oh, fuck.” Panic froze him.
“What?”
“Banner, listen to me. I was calling you to meet me there and I just realized where it is.”
“Hell no, you are not going there. I’ll call it in. Give me the address.”
“Look, I’m on my way already, but I don’t want to mess something up for you, so just meet me there already. And now, okay? I just remembered why I know the street name. It’s the one behind Ian’s.”
Complete silence came over the phone. It was followed by the sound of a slamming door and the rumble of the cop’s old muscle car.
“Listen to me, Banner. I’m going to hang up and call Ian’s bodyguard to make sure everything is okay there.” He rattled off the address in Mt. Adams and hung up.
He called Gidget for Sven’s number.
She answered on the first ring, one step ahead as usual. “Ian’s okay. I called him as soon as I figured out Gratton was near him. I also called Rowe. He didn’t answer. As always.” Her voice broke.
“Did you call Andrei?”
“Not yet.”
“Don’t. I’m taking Banner out there with me.”
“The cop?” Her soft voice squeaked. “He doesn’t know where you got the address, does he?”
“No, but I’m sure he can guess. Don’t worry about him. Something tells me he would use your skills before arresting you.”
“I don’t trust cops, Snow, but let me know if Gratton is there. If not, I’ll dig some more.” She hung up.
Snow parked down the street and waited until Hollis’s Chevelle pulled in behind him. They got out at the same time. Banner hadn’t bothered to do more than pull his leather jacket on over the T-shirt he must have been sleeping in. He shivered in the winter night air.
“Really shouldn’t be doing this with you, doc. Promise me you won’t touch anything.”
“I can do that.” He glanced down the street at the dark townhouse. “See how tall it is? There’s an unobstructed view from that top window across the top of that house. He could see right into Ian’s bedroom window with the right equipment.” Snow’s hands curled into fists. “Come on, let’s go.”
When they reached the townhouse, Banner pointed to the side yard and Snow nodded to show he understood before following. The only sound was the crunch of their shoes on hardened snow and the faint sound of someone’s television on too loud in the house next door. The pine trees were thick in the backyard, their snow-laden branches blocking a lot of the moonlight as well as the street lights. A dog growled a couple of yards over, but thankfully didn’t start barking.
“Do you smell that?” Snow whispered as he frowned and covered his nose.
“Yeah, and I know that odor, unfortunately.” Hollis watched the back of the house for a long time before walking toward a metal shed half hidden among the trees. “It’s coming from in here.”
“I know that smell, too,” Snow whispered, grimacing. The odor of death was unmistakable and whatever had been killed here had been dead awhile. “You going to look in there?”
“I have to. Stay back and again, don’t touch anything. Shit.” He looked back at the dark townhouse again. “You shouldn’t be here. I’m calling this in.”
“Not yet. It could be a dead raccoon or something.” Snow nudged him toward the metal door. “Just look already!”
“You and I both know that’s no dead animal in there.” Hollis pulled out his phone. “Just retrace your steps and wait by your car. Or better yet, go home. The last thing we need to do is mess up this investigation so that asshole goes free.”
Banner must have assumed Snow would just do as told. He sneered at the idiot then strode to the back door. He didn’t slow, keeping up the momentum and slammed into it with a solid kick. The flimsy door gave fast and Snow walked into the kitchen, ignoring Hollis’s cursing behind him. The smell wasn’t much better inside. Moonlight spilled through the large, uncovered windows over the table and sink. Dirty dishes with half eaten meals cluttered every available surface. The silver trash receptacle in the corner reflected moonlight, but had overflowed in a complete half circle of debris on the floor around it. The pungent odor of rotting garbage filled this room—different, but nearly as bad. He glanced back at Hollis. “How much time until they get here?”
“I haven’t called it in yet, asshole,” he hissed as he pulled out his gun. “And if anyone is in this house, your fancy karate moves just alerted them to our presence. Get behind me, Transporter.”
Snow humored him, glad he’d grabbed Rowe’s gun from where he’d stowed it in his glove compartment. He scanned the shadowed living room as they moved slowly through it, then picked up a fireplace poker. Just for show with the cop. Hollis, who had been in
the process of checking a coat closet, scowled at him and shook his head. Snow didn’t give a shit that he had ignored the no touching rule.
“Wait here,” Hollis murmured before he moved to the stairs.
Snow decided to give him a little time to look around up there. In the meantime, he glanced around the room, noticing the bags with fast food emblems, the plastic trays of dried leftovers. If Gratton was here, he’d been staying awhile. And if that odor coming from the tool shed was the body of the owner, Snow was surprised he hadn’t been found out already. The cold temperatures helped to slow decomposition, but not enough.
There were pictures on the coffee table, so he pulled out his pen light and aimed it toward them. His stomach lurched when he spotted his face. He walked closer, seeing that Gratton had been following him. There were images of him at work, at home…and Jude’s. That last had him wanting to race back to the paramedic’s right then to make sure he was okay.
“Frost?” Hollis yelled down the stairs. “He’s gone, but you need to come up here. And don’t touch anything!”
Snow quickly climbed the stairs and spotted Hollis in a room at the end of the hallway. And even in the low light, he could see the pasty cast to his face. When he stepped into the room, he understood why. More pictures covered the walls and they were not only images of Snow and his friends. There were worse ones—Gratton’s sick fascination with young men on blatant display.
Hollis stood in front of them, his back ramrod straight, wide shoulders stiff. “I know some of these faces,” he murmured, his voice sounding rusty like he’d swallowed nails. “Missing kids from years ago. They’ve been circulating some of these images since before I moved to Cincinnati.” He glared at Snow. “You shouldn’t fucking be here.” He waved his hand. “This one room is going to answer a lot of questions.” He stopped on the next wall, made a strangled noise. “Oh fuck.”
This wall mostly held images of him and his friends. Lucas and Andrei in a coffee shop down the street from Lucas’s office. Rowe leaving the gym, walking his dogs. And Snow was in a lot of the photos—most of them. Gratton had even somehow watched him in the ER.
Shatter (Unbreakable Bonds Series Book 2) Page 27