“I’m surprised Ian isn’t in these—” Hollis started cursing.
Snow saw why instantly. Ian had his own section. The scariest were ones taken of inside his bedroom. There was even one of his nurse helping him into bed. Hollis stalked over to the tripod where Gratton had mounted his camera and looked through the window in front of it. Snow could see from where he stood that the top of Ian’s condo was perfectly visible over the roofs of the places in between. Snow looked back at the images, his heart in his throat when he saw there were ones from years ago when Ian had been a skinny, sweet eighteen-year-old and still with Boris Jagger. Snow reached for the first one.
“Stop,” Hollis hissed, striding back to him. “Really Snow, you can’t touch anything. Nobody can know you were here.” He covered his mouth when his gaze lit on the pictures of Ian as a teenager.
“I can’t leave some of these. And he would hate that you’re seeing them.”
Hollis briefly closed his eyes and when he opened them, fury and a pain that stunned Snow filled them. When the cop nodded and pulled on a pair of gloves, Snow understood that maybe, just maybe, this man could be exactly what Ian needed.
If he could get past what he was seeing.
Hollis carefully stripped one of the old pictures off the wall. It was a bad one—one that Gratton must have taken in the hotel room that day before Snow had tracked him down. The blood-splattered walls of his memory weren’t there because he hadn’t yet taken the baseball bat to the man, but it was obvious Ian was not there of his own volition. His thin form slack, hands tied behind his back.
Remembered rage filled Snow. “I should have killed him,” he whispered. “These can’t be evidence, Banner. It would kill Ian.”
Hollis growled, nodded, and began tearing down the images. The fury and disgust rolling off him made Snow feel nauseated and so, so bad for Ian. This would probably kill any chance here and it had grown increasingly obvious that his shy, young friend had been interested in this man. And the last few days had proved to Snow that he’d been wrong to warn Banner off. Just seeing the pain on his face—when he hadn’t even taken Ian out—told him a lot about his heart.
“This was a long time ago, Hollis,” Snow whispered. “He got past all that.”
“Because of you, right? You and Lucas and Rowe.” He shoved the pictures at Snow. “I know what Jagger does with teenagers, Frost. I’ve worked on those cases. Just tell me one thing. Did he…” His breath hitched and he cleared his throat. “Did he buy Ian from an auction like the one we shut down? Did he?”
“No. Ian believes he was intended for one of those but Jagger kept him.” Shit, this was not his story to tell, but they owed the cop a lot. And now that he was taking down evidence—disregarding the law completely… He was a good man. Shit. “Hollis, Ian wasn’t a runaway or an abducted kid. His parents sold him to the man when he was sixteen. I thought my family was bad but they had nothing on Ian’s.”
Hollis made that hitching sound again before he walked away from Snow. He stood silent, broad shoulders slumped, for the longest time before Snow walked up to him and placed his hand on his shoulder.
“I get why you guys are so protective of him now,” Hollis said, his tone still broken. Thready. “Jagger is under heavy surveillance and still we haven’t been able to catch him in the act.” He crumbled the last image in his hand, turned back around. “We still haven’t found anything to tie him to that auction, Frost.” He stared at Snow, his face white as ghost. “You guys saved Ian, didn’t you?”
Snow nodded. “We made a deal with Jagger that Ian doesn’t even know about. We’d met Ian at a party before we knew what the party was about. He was actually cooking for it. Jagger gave him run of his house in some ways, so Lucas thought he was the man’s son at first. We found out the truth by accident.” His lips thinned. “I won’t share those details with you or the ones that came after. We did what we had to. You saw it instantly when you met him, didn’t you?”
Hollis balled his hands into fists. “He’s…he’s just so…” He squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah,” he whispered. “I saw it instantly.”
“There isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for him.” Snow took a step toward Hollis, waiting until the other man’s eyes opened. “And Banner, Ian can’t know about us making a deal with Jagger. All he believes is that he started to look too old for the man and was given to one of his enforcers. What really happened is that Gratton found out about the deal and none of us knew that he had a sick fascination with Ian that was obsessive. He took him. We combed the city looking for that kid and I’m the one who found Gratton first.” Snow’s grin held no humor. “With a baseball bat.”
The cop stared at him for the longest time before he nodded. “Good. I’m glad you did that.” He pointed to a section of photos Snow hadn’t seen yet. “And over there is enough proof to completely exonerate you in that murder. The stupid fucker took pictures. He’s going away. For good. Now get the hell out of here so I can come up for some bullshit reason I’m here and call this in. And take the damn fireplace poker with you.”
Chapter 22
Snow sat in the car, staring at the winter mix falling onto the street, creating drifts in the wind that looked soft and pretty. Yet the view did nothing to pull him away from the horrific images rolling through his mind like they were caught in some evil film reel. They made him feel dirty and disgusted that people like Gratton existed in the same world as those like Ian.
He should have continued to bash his head in with that bat even though at the time, his loss of control had horrified him. But how many had suffered just so he could keep his soul clean? How many of those kids might still be at home today? Or even alive?
Foul, rancid anguish burned in his throat and Snow choked on the lump it left. He closed his eyes, swallowed it back. Hell, the last time he’d cried he’d been seven years old, when the only person who truly loved him had died and left him with his father and his father’s cruel family.
What he hadn’t told Jude earlier was that if it hadn’t been for Lucas…he never would have made it through his teen years, not once his family learned outright that he was gay. He’d been a sad ghost confined to a bedroom and trotted out only when aunts and uncles arrived to pray his gay away. Like he could change who he was just to appease their own over-inflated senses of self-worth. They had loved to use words like condone and sin and other ridiculous phrases that were supposed to disguise what they really meant. What they thought.
That he—just the way he was—could never be as good as them because of the way they believed.
And he’d bought it, deep down on a level that comes from true brainwashing. He’d bought it. That he was worthless. His friendship with Lucas had kept a part of his belief in people alive. That had been his salvation and in a sense, his shame. To lean so hard on another person made him feel weak. There were times, he backed away from Lucas and each time, his friend pulled him back in close and held on until he remembered that someone did care.
But then, Rowe and later Ian had come along and Snow felt he had a real family. Maybe he hadn’t had the intimacy that came with a lover, but he’d had people he loved who loved him in return. Seeing pictures of his family stretched across that dirty wall had filled him with terror.
Seeing that picture of Jude had sent him racing back here.
His stomach lurched and all he wanted in that moment was the man sleeping in that ridiculously small apartment. He’d pulled Jude into this contaminated situation and he’d done nothing but come through for Snow. And for his friends. He’d be doing the man a favor if he just broke things off. But he couldn’t. While the thought of opening his heart up completely scared the shit out of him, he knew he had no choice.
It was already too late. He loved him.
He’d never felt the kind of all-encompassing joy that filled him when he was around Jude. And especially when the man touched him. There was something in his touch, a sort of reverence that Snow didn’t think he deserved. B
ut he wanted it with every fiber of his being. He somehow knew he’d never feel like a ghost with Jude around.
Pulling Jude’s keys from his pocket, he shook his head. He’d planned to come back or he wouldn’t have taken the keys. And now that he’d seen the…absolute sickening images in that place…
Before he could give in to the bile rising in his throat again, he scrambled out of his car and ran up the narrow stairwell to Jude’s apartment.
He quietly let himself in and then just stood beside the bed. The man was stretched fully into the spot Snow had left, his arms around the pillow Snow had been using, the covers only up to his waist. His broad back looked inviting. Just like it had earlier, Snow’s heart skipped a beat. He needed to let the horror of the last hour go and knew that this man’s strong arms would help. He craved that intimacy he was finding with Jude.
Snow stripped off his clothes, not caring that they dropped in a heap. Crawling into the bed, he pulled the covers over them both, then snuggled up behind Jude. He propped himself up with one hand, and let the other stroke down the warm, smooth skin of Jude’s back. He leaned over, stretching so he could press his lips to the new scruff on the man’s cheek. He felt the sleepy smile against his lips.
“General, your hand is fucking freezing.”
His voice, a sleepy rumble, rolled through Snow. He closed his eyes and pressed closer, unashamedly stealing the man’s warmth because like before, it came with that happiness that Snow wasn’t sure how to fully accept. It helped to lessen his grief, his worry—it grounded him. How this stubborn man had managed to crawl so fully inside Snow baffled him. And he was absolutely terrified he would mess it up.
“Hey, you okay?” His soft question came with a slight turn that pushed his backside fully against Snow. Jude chuckled. “Your whole body is cold. Where’d you go?”
Snow didn’t pull away; instead he slid his hand around Jude’s hip and wrapped his fingers around Jude’s already hard dick. “I’ll warm up fast.”
Jude shifted under Snow’s arm, tucking his body fully into Snow’s. “Where did you go?” he repeated, frowning as he stared over his shoulder into Snow’s face. He reached back with one hand, stroking the skin of Snow’s hip.
“I’ll tell you later.” Snow pressed into him, letting him feel how hard he made him, slipping one knee between Jude’s so the man was forced to raise one leg and brace his foot on the bed. He slowly ground into him. He wanted slow. He wanted soft touches. Wanted that connection he was starting to accept as permanent. And when Jude groaned and undulated against him, Snow wanted to map every inch of the man’s body with his hands and his mouth. He wanted to feel him inside and out, brand his stamp onto him so he never wanted anyone else.
Instead of that thought scaring him, it raised a burning need to make that happen. And to make himself the kind of man who deserved Jude.
He opened his mouth over Jude’s shoulder and Jude’s hand came back to clasp his head closer. Snow tightened his fingers around the man’s cock as he thrust into his grip. He kissed his cheek, his ear, the soft skin just behind it.
Jude gasped. “You should really let me brush my teeth.”
“I don’t care about that.” Snow buried his face in Jude’s nape. “I want you. So much.”
The hand on his head tightened. “I missed something bad, didn’t I?”
Snow nodded into his warm skin. “I promise, I’ll tell you. I want to tell you…everything. I just don’t want to think about it right now. Give me fifteen minutes.”
Sleep still clung to Jude’s tone, husky and unbelievably sexy, as he laughed. “Hell no, General. If you’re going to fuck me, you’d better do it for a lot longer than that.” He reached out, groped the top of the nightstand. “I can grab the lube but you’re going to have to move to get the condom.”
“In a minute,” Snow murmured, his lips back on Jude’s shoulder. He let go of his dick and reached up to turn Jude’s face toward him. He kissed the side of his mouth, nuzzled into the morning fuzz on his neck. “God, you smell fantastic.”
“I smell like sex.”
“Yeah, our sex.” Snow closed his eyes, hardly able to believe he’d said that.
“Oh, I know the truth now. You got a romantic streak you don’t want anyone to know about, don’t you?”
“No.”
Jude chuckled again before he reached out and grabbed the lube. “Look what I found.” A condom was tossed over his shoulder. Snow scraped his teeth over the back of Jude’s neck, running his hand down his body. He found the soft hair around Jude’s belly button and followed the trail down.
“As much as I want your hand on me, I want your dick inside me more.”
“Yeah?” Snow breathed, licking warm, fragrant skin. “You want that?”
Jude’s voice went hoarse when Snow bit again. “Snow. I like it all. Especially with you.”
Snow lifted up to look over at him, raising an eyebrow. “All?”
“Every single thing we can come up with.” He lifted up to press his mouth to Snow’s. “Get the condom on and hurry.” Jude grabbed the lube, but Snow snatched it out of his hands.
“I want to do that.” He’d put up with bossy Jude enough. He grabbed the condom and sat up in the bed, not taking his eyes off Jude. He placed a hand on his hard hip to hold him in place because he wanted him just like this when he lay back down—cradled back against him. Snow wanted to feel him from the inside while pressed up against the smooth globes of his ass. Fuck, he was stunning with his long body and hard muscles. The dark hair on his body was just the right amount. He wanted to rub up and down Jude’s whole body like some kind of cat. But instead, he rolled the condom on then poured lube onto his fingers. Before he lay back down on his side, he noticed that Jude looked at him with eyes half shut with desire, his expression tight, his breaths coming fast.
Holy hell, he was something.
Snow pressed against him, not bothering with the covers this time. The air in the apartment was cooler than he liked but they generated enough heat together to stay warm. He rubbed his slick fingers over Jude’s hole, groaning and marveling over the texture of the man there. The soft, puckered skin…that first clench around his finger as he slipped one inside. Jude sucked in a breath, then let it out on a long moan as he lifted the one leg higher. Snow pushed his finger in deep, crooked it and watched as Jude bowed up off the bed, the veins in his neck bulging. He released a sort of deep whimper.
And Jude thought Snow made hot sounds.
Those dark as night eyes locked back on him over his shoulder. “More,” he gritted out between clenched teeth.
Snow added a finger, working them in and out, his own dick so hard, it hurt. He looked over Jude’s side to find the man leaking onto his abdomen and the sheets. Snow wished he could lick it off him, but he wasn’t about to give up this position. He groaned at how hot Jude was inside. How silky.
“Fuck, Snow. Fuck!” Jude writhed on the bed.
Snow growled, the heat spiking through him nearly painful in its intensity. He couldn’t wait any longer. He anchored one arm underneath Jude’s neck, holding him close and still and used his other hand to guide himself into the other man. He pushed slowly, gritting his teeth to keep from spilling early because holy hell, he might want to live inside Jude.
“So fucking hot,” he breathed into the man’s hair.
Once fully in, he clamped his fingers hard on Jude’s hip, trying to hold him still long enough for him to get control of his body. He managed to get the arm under Jude’s neck to where he could thread his fingers into that thick, black, unruly-as-hell hair and pull Jude’s head back to him. He bit down on his ear and thrust hard into his body.
“Agh!” Jude’s yell told him he felt all the things Snow did when Jude entered his body. That first hit of pain laced with that dark, dark pleasure that felt like nothing else in this world. He held still, let Jude adjust to his body and when the other man started to pant harder and push back against him, Snow unleashed himself
on Jude.
He clamped down on his hip, his head. He latched his mouth onto the side of Jude’s neck and he fucked him.
Jude shouted and moaned. Again and again, his sounds pure, feral pleasure.
“Yes,” Snow hissed, biting into that thick muscle between his neck and shoulder. “Move with me.”
Jude did. He began rocking into a rhythm that meshed with Snow’s and everything coalesced into nothing more than this moment. The hot, sleek muscles against him. The clench of Jude’s body around his cock. The way he reached back to hold onto Snow like he never wanted him to leave. These feelings and emotions swamped him. Years of hidden hopes and dreams…and that joy…that devastating and…so very, very new joy…came and it took Snow out of himself long enough to feel truly connected to someone else for the first time in his life.
Connected to Jude.
“I want more with you,” he said on a gasp as he rocked deeper into this man who was changing the very fabric of his being. He let go of Jude’s hip and stroked his shoulder, his chest, smoothing his palm over hot, sweat-covered skin. He wrapped his fingers around Jude’s pulsing dick and stroked slowly, up and down, marveling over how much he wanted from this man. And how much he wanted to give him. “I want it all.”
Jude stopped rocking his body, not moving even though his chest still pressed in and out with his harsh breaths. He twisted to look over his shoulder at Snow behind him, his eyes nearly black in the low morning light coming through the window. As that inky gaze slowly probed Snow’s expression, a smile began to stretch his mouth. He pulled his body off Snow’s, rolled over to face him, and framed his face in his hands. He kept staring and from the warmth that filled his expression, he liked what he was seeing.
“You mean it, General,” he murmured. “You really do.”
Snow nodded, turning to kiss Jude’s palm before looking back at him. “I really do.”
Dominant Manhandling Jude abruptly returned and Snow found himself being hugged and kissed and pretty much mauled, before the man tugged him back on top. “Put my legs over your arms and come back inside, General.”
Shatter (Unbreakable Bonds Series Book 2) Page 28