by BJ Mayo
Margaret wrapped her arms around her and held her tight. “Dear, we have many more tablets and pencils. You will never be without a tablet or a pencil to write words with. Now, put that smile on your beautiful face and let us walk.”
Jackaleena hugged her. “Thank you, Margaret. You are my friend.” She grabbed her hand and they began to walk. Margaret could not help but wipe away tears of joy and gratitude to God. She quietly thanked God for putting a child such as this in her life.
Jackaleena stopped and turned to face Margaret. Her eyes were welled up with tears.
“What is wrong, Jackaleena? Why the tears?”
Jackaleena was trying to gather the courage to tell Margaret about seeing her in the chapel. She knew what she did was wrong. “I left my room the other night and followed you.” The tears came in waves. Maybe she needed to cry as she had held her feelings in since Mingas and his soldiers had killed her village. She could not seem to stop crying.
Margaret gathered her in her arms and held her tight against her chest until the sobs subsided. “Dear, why did you follow me after dark? I know there had to be a good reason. Also, you know I told you it is not safe after dark for you to be out. Tell me about it.” She held Jackaleena’s hand. “I am not displeased with you, I just want to understand why.”
Jackaleena stared down at the ground looking at her toes. “I always watch you leave, and you did not go to your room. You went to the little Milano chapel. I wanted to see what you were doing, so I went out of my door and went there. You were kneeling at the front, talking to Jesus Man. I saw you take out a bag and put something in a box from your bag. I heard all that you said while I was there. I do not know what I am thinking. Your words to your Jesus Man made me glad and then sad. You talked to him about me and then you asked for more chickens. Will your Jesus Man come see you when you ask him these things?”
Margaret prayed a silent prayer: “You see, Jesus, this is what I was talking about in my prayer. She asks me very hard questions. Please help me with the answers.” She opened her eyes and noticed that Jackaleena was still holding onto her hands and looking deeply into her eyes when she opened them.
“Jackaleena,” she said and paused, “I am not happy that you left your room. I am happy that you heard me talk to Jesus Man. You see, I go to the white or Milano chapel to talk to him. It is called a prayer. When you pray to Jesus Man, you pray from your heart and tell him what is on your mind. You ask him for these things. You also ask him to forgive you for all of your wrongdoings when you pray. The Bible says he will forgive each of us. So you saw me put something in the box, and you heard me ask for more chickens. When I work here, they give me what is called money for working here. With the money, I can trade for clothes like you wear and food to eat. No one gives these to me. I would do it for free because I love children like you. I believe that my purpose in life is to take care of children, whoever Jesus Man brings through those gates. When he does, I take care of them, feed them, put clothes on them, and tell them about Jesus Man. Each one of those children also has a purpose in life. Also, if there is interest, I teach them how to count and how to read and write. Not all of them want to do that. You are the first one, in fact. Jesus Man answered a prayer when he sent you through these gates, you see. As far as the money, Jesus Man tells us in the Bible to give back part of it to him every time we are given money or anything of value.”
Jackaleena stopped her: “Does Jesus Man take the money out of the box?”
“No, dear, he knows when you put it there, even though I do it in secret. The Bible tells us to pray in secret and to give our money as well.”
Jackaleena was bewildered by that statement. “What does Jesus Man do with the money?”
Margaret was doing her best to keep up with these questions, as they had never been posed to her before. “Help me, Jesus, she is too smart for me.”
A calm came over Margaret, like a dove descending on a branch. Her thoughts, as if delivered by Jesus Man, became lucid and clear.
“Jackaleena, the Bible (Jesus Man’s word tracks) tells us that every person has a purpose in life, and Jesus Man will help guide you to what it is if you trust in him to do so. In one book of the Bible, the one call Acts, there was a man called Saul. He was a known persecutor of Jesus Man’s people, the Jews—much like the man that struck your village. He was traveling down a path when Jesus Man struck him blind. As he lay on the ground blinded, Jesus Man told him to go to a village. In the village was a path called ‘Straight.’ Jesus Man told him to go to that path and wait. The people that were with Saul led him there.
“Then Jesus Man sent a vision to another man that lived on that path called Straight in a village called Damascus. There was a man there named Ananias. Jesus Man told him in a dream that he was sending Saul to him. Ananias said to Jesus Man, ‘This man hurts your people.’ Jesus Man said, ‘I have chosen him to be a chosen vessel for me. He will take my name before all people including kings.’ Saul’s sight was given back by Jesus Man. He became a teacher to people about Jesus Man’s love for them. Those people could be counted as sands of the sea. The ones he spoke to, the ones those people spoke to, and the ones they spoke to. The circle keeps going, today and forever.”
Jackaleena studied in her mind what she had heard. Toto the witchy man was surely watching from somewhere. He probably knew Margaret was telling her about this Jesus Man. She wondered if he would be angry with her for thinking about this Jesus Man.
Out of the clear blue sky she asked, “If Jesus Man has a purpose for everyone, what is mine? Why do you think I am here? Why am I the only one that is alive from my village?”
Margaret looked into her eyes. This wonderful child, so full of questions, so full of mystery, she could hardly contain her emotions. Jesus, she thought. You really overdid it this time by sending me more than I ever asked for in this young lady.
“Jackaleena, you are what I will call very special. You are like the ocean sponge we talked about.” Jackaleena smiled at this comparison. “You want to know everything about everything. Most people are not like that. When you eat, you are hungry. Your mind is hungry for knowledge and information at every turn. It makes me tired but happy that Jesus Man made you that way. It simply means he has something very large in mind for you. Your purpose will be big, I am afraid, but you have to trust Jesus Man to help you see what that is. I will teach you how to read and write, how to count with numbers. Some of the Milano women here can help you with other things they teach in their country called America. I do not know of all of these things, but I believe you will learn them all because Jesus Man gave you a mind that questions everything. You want to know how everything works. This is good, but when he gives you that kind of mind, much will be required of you, I am afraid.”
Jackaleena took in all that Margaret said and still studied the ground while she talked, looking up occasionally to gaze across the compound or look at her toes. “I still do not understand what you say about the money Jesus Man says to give back to him,” Jackaleena said.
“Dear, Jesus Man tells us in his Bible that we are to give him a certain amount of our money. Here is what he says. Hold out your hands.” Margaret counted each finger. “If your money was one piece of bread, like we eat every morning with our breakfast, and if Jesus Man gave you ten pieces of bread, just like you have ten fingers, you would give one piece of bread back to him for him to do with as he wishes, since he gave you the bread to start with. Understand? I earn money from the orphanage to buy clothes and food, and it helps me have a place to live. Out of the money I earn, I put one finger’s worth in the metal box for Jesus Man to use. One of the men that is in charge of all of us takes the money from the box every day. He takes this money and uses it to help pay for things for the children.
“Jesus Man tells us in his Bible to test him with this. Most people would not think of putting money in a box to Jesus Man, who they have never seen, who will use the money through a man that they work for. I know it sounds like so
mething that is not true, but Jesus Man says it is in his Bible. He has helped me because of trusting him with one finger’s worth of my money.”
“How would Jesus Man use a piece of bread?” asked Jackaleena. “I do not have money. I only have my clothes you gave me and food you feed me with.”
“Well, you have to figure out how to give one finger’s worth of what you are given back to Jesus Man. He will decide how it is to be used. Jesus Man created all of us, and every living thing that you see. He created the dirt, the sun, the night sun, the bright lights in the sky when the sun sleeps, birds, frogs. He created all of it. It is written in his Bible. He says in his Bible, that whoever believes in him, will live forever with him. I plan on doing that.”
The words that flowed out of Margaret’s mouth astounded her and surely did not seem like her own. She felt she had spoken too many words that may surely have overwhelmed Jackaleena in just one conversation. However, this child called for drastic action, as she would not be restrained for long and probably would not tolerate anything short of the truth.
And she had spoken the truth. Actually, she felt Jesus Man speaking through her with great peace. It was nothing short of magical as it unfolded. She did not know what she was going to say next, but Jesus Man seemed to put the words on her lips. She had never had this exact thing happen before, and it was quite scary yet exhilarating to experience. Truly a heaven-come-down moment she would cherish as a Jesus blessing. She could never give enough back to Jesus to be the recipient of what he gave her. Just like he said in his Bible about giving money.
She thanked him silently. Her faith in Jesus was multiplied at that moment.
Jackaleena sat silently before her. Margaret wondered what thoughts were pouring through her mind at the moment—mostly they must have been like the thoughts she had when she first came to Benguela by the Sea for work. One of the Milano women from America told her about Jesus Man, just like she was telling Jackaleena. She was quite bewildered at the time, but over time she accepted him. She hoped Jackaleena would do the same.
But as with all people, Jesus Man does not make you accept him or believe in him. Only you can do that on your own, out of faith.
“So you are saying that if I take my bread and break it into ten pieces, I can eat nine and give the other to Jesus Man? Jesus Man will take that one piece and do something with it? If something does not eat it, it will be wasted, or a grasshopper will eat it.”
“That is what I am saying, dear,” said Margaret. “Jesus Man will take what you return to him and make it useful to him. I can only tell you that.”
Jackaleena, deep in thought, grabbed her hand and said, “Let us walk.”
No more words were said as she and Margaret strolled through the compound. They went by the crosses of the children. Margaret stopped and checked on the chickens to make sure they had water. They sat under the large tree for a while.
Jackaleena lay in her bed most of the night thinking about all that Margaret had told her. Everyone has a purpose, and hers would be a big purpose, giving Jesus Man back one finger’s worth of everything that was given to her. And he would bless her for it.
She knew she wanted to believe that he existed. Toto existed, but he had never helped her. Where was he now? She did not know.
Margaret came by the next morning, as she normally did, and hand in hand they walked to breakfast with the other children. After the food was served and the prayer of thanks was said, Jackaleena looked briefly at her piece of bread. She was very hungry. Quietly she broke off a piece of her bread and placed it in her dress pocket while no one was looking.
She continued to eat her breakfast as if nothing had happened. Later that morning, Margaret told her she should stay outside with the other children for a while. She had to take care of some things that the Milano women asked her to help with. Jackaleena had become used to her being with her most of the day, and had come to not want to let her out of her sight for long.
Margaret sensed anxiety in her eyes. “Jackaleena, I will be right over there in that room. If you need me, come over there. You will be fine, dear.”
Jackaleena watched her walk away and sat on a rock under the large tree. She saw the slight bulge in her dress pocket. She stood and started walking to the chicken pens in the compound. Holding onto the screen wire, she smiled as she watched the clucking chickens scratching for bugs in the dirt. They gave her peace just watching them. She took the piece of bread from her pocket.
“Jesus Man, this is Jackaleena. Margaret told me that I should give one finger’s worth of what I am given back to you, and you will decide how to use it. If I leave it at the box, someone may eat it or maybe a grasshopper. I do not know how you will use this. Margaret asked you for more chickens when I heard her pray. I have decided to give this finger’s worth of my bread to these chickens. I do not have any money, and have never had any. I only have food and some clothes she gave me. Margaret tells me that your Bible says you made all of us and even these chickens. Maybe they will have more chickens if I give them some more to eat. She says it is up to you to decide how to use this finger’s worth.”
Once she finished talking, she flipped the small piece of bread into the chicken pen. Two hens made a run for it, and it was quickly gobbled up as they fought for it. It was gone so fast she could not believe it. How could Jesus Man use what she had just thrown in the pen? As she watched the hens gobble up the small piece of bread she sighed deeply.
“Jesus Man, this is Jackaleena again. I do not know if you can hear me. If you can hear me, why am I here? Margaret told me that I have a big purpose. I do not know what it is. Since you cannot talk to me, how do I know what it is? Maybe it is to feed the chickens every day with my piece of bread. What happens if I do not have enough bread to feed them?”
This became her daily custom, as she waited to see what Jesus Man would do with her offering. Maybe he would not notice, she thought. She began to spend a little time away from Margaret with the Milano women on a daily basis. Margaret encouraged her to do so. Each of them brought something new and exciting to her mind, which was full of wonder. She began to learn and excel at reading and writing English, math, and science, as well as how to be a young lady of social graces. Now instead of fearing the flow of blood from her water maker, she embraced the time monthly as she now knew she was not a witch, but just like the other girls her age.
She learned to engage them as she encountered them daily. Her laughter and wit became contagious, and she was viewed as a leader among the other girls and even some of the boys. Some could not understand her language, but they understood that she cared for them, and that was all that mattered. It was not long before several of the children were breaking off and putting a piece of bread in for the chickens.
CHAPTER EIGHT
As usual, when I got back from the hills, I felt nearly human again. Bea gave me an unusually big hug and kiss at the door when I arrived. Her eyes were puffy and red. She seemed genuinely glad to see me.
My red flags went up. Did something happen to somebody or to the livestock?
“No, Alfie, I am just glad to see you. I was really lonely while you were gone. Not much happened around here or at work. Did you have a good time?”
She always asked me that question when I returned. It always seemed curt and pissy, but maybe I was reading too much into it.
“It was okay, I guess. Covered a lot of miles, saw a lot of country. Enjoyed the stars at night. That is about all,” I said.
She just smiled and said, “That’s nice. I’m really glad you enjoyed your trip.”
Maybe she was trying to imply that we had not taken a vacation together for many years. In fact, she just always stayed home. Of course there is absolutely 100 percent no chance I would take her with me to the mountains. She would turn that into some kind of train wreck before the week was out. No way was I going to let that happen.
“If you’re hungry, I’ll fix you some bacon and eggs,” she said.
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p; That really sounded good. “That will be just fine. I hope we still have some hot sauce left to go with it.”
I sat in my easy chair, smelling the bacon as she fried it. I watched her in the kitchen. She was a damned attractive woman, to this day. It was that snippy attitude I could not stand.
She stood there in her red apron, picking the bacon up with rubber-tipped tongs, and flipping it over. Her auburn hair was pulled into a pony tail. Her glasses fell slightly to the edge of her nose. I felt the need to ease up behind her and give her a hug, but did not. She finished cooking the meal and brought it to me on a tray with a fresh cup of coffee and her homemade hot sauce. Two pieces of toast cooked in the frying pan, just like I liked.
“Thanks, Bea, I really appreciate it.”
I ate in silence. She watched me for a little while. “Maybe if you are not too busy, we can go see a movie or maybe go take a walk,” she said. “I don’t mean tonight, just sometime. We never do anything together anymore.”
I nodded while I sipped coffee.
I checked in the next morning with Captain Burris before I headed to the Couch place. I was careful to put the picture of Jenna Couch in my shirt pocket, knowing I had to return it to Pap’s trailer. Maybe this time someone would be there.
I made my way out of town to their place. When I approached the driveway, there were no vehicles in the yard. I turned off the ignition to take in the surroundings. I caught movement coming out of the chicken coop. Out stepped an old man in his white underwear. He had on leather sheepskin-lined house shoes and no shirt. The cowboy hat atop his head appeared to be the one I saw hung on the wall in the picture. He was smoking a cigar and had on an old pair of steel-rimmed sunglasses. He was carrying a shotgun.
I unsnapped the strap on my service revolver as I exited my vehicle. “Howdy,” I said.
“These damn grackles are killing my sparrows that stay out at the chicken pen. I ain’t having it.”